Translator: Nox
The squirrel will raise the baby tiger.
Before the entrance to the columbarium stood a magnificent stone statue carved in the likeness of Hokan's father.
Opening the door, we stepped inside and took our places side by side before the altar fronting the sarcophagus.
Hokan placed the daisies he had brought upon the altar.
As he bowed his head in silent contemplation before it, I drew out the sheet of paper I had prepared.
‘Your valor has steeped into this soil,
all torment scattered, your glory ever enduring.
Melt away the frost clotted on your blade and the sorrow gathered in your heart.
We shall guard this earth where those you embraced must dwell,
and pledge that love and justice shall rightfully reign.
Step forth without hesitation toward the realm of eternal rest.
The names you so dearly longed for beneath the moonlight
have each carved your own upon their hearts.
Lay down your sword and shield in peace, and sleep serenely.
With respect and love, this verse and these flowers are offered unto you.’
Braving my embarrassment, I recited the poem aloud.
If it could lift Hokan's spirits in the slightest, I could endure any measure of awkwardness or self-consciousness.
For a long while, Hokan could not utter a word.
With tears welling thick in his eyes, the child stood there motionlessly, tightly biting his lip.
Lulubell Durams
“Hokan, you can cry. When you’re hurt and sad, letting it all out makes you feel much better.”
Hokan Russell Blantiger
“A child of Blantiger blood doesn't cry so easily.”
Lulubell Durams
“That’s not true, Hokan. When you lose someone, you need time to miss them properly and mourn them from the bottom of your heart. No lineage in the world should ever take that time away from you.”
Hokan Russell Blantiger ☁
“I was taught that I must never cry…. They said it wasn't fitting for the future head of the house.”
Lulubell Durams
“Well, I'm your teacher now. And I will never teach you to hold it in like that.”
Hokan Russell Blantiger
“Really?”
Lulubell Durams
“Of course. Trust your teacher, just this once.”
The child stared up at me for a long time.
I poured all the warmth in my heart into my gaze.
‘It’s all right. Everything is all right. It's fine to weep, and it's fine to grieve.’
“Sob… Hic, hic.”
Bursting into tears all at once, Hokan hung his head low.
Dropping immediately to one knee before the child, I pulled Hokan into my arms.
Lulubell Durams ♥
“Hokan. It's been so painful and frightening, hasn't it?”
Hokan Russell Blantiger ☁
“Teacher… Hic…”
Lulubell Durams
“Yes, sweetheart. Tell me.”
“Right here… it hurts so much right here…”
As Hokan clutched at his chest and sobbed, Jackjack's face crumpled into tears as well.
Jackjack ☁
“Lulu Sister. Brother's heart has an owie.”
Lulubell Durams
“Hokan, don't hold it back; let it all out. Cry as much as you need, and miss him even more than you do now. There is never any shame in that.”
Hokan Russell Blantiger ☁
“I thought Father would always be by my side forever…. Hic…”
Lulubell Durams
“He will stay in Hokan's heart forever.”
Hokan Russell Blantiger ☁
“Really? But what if I forget?”
Lulubell Durams
“Everyone carries one unforgettable hero in their heart for life. For you, Hokan, that hero is your father. How could you ever forget him?”
Hokan Russell Blantiger ☁
“That’s right. My hero is my papa. Waah…”
I wrapped my arms tighter around Hokan.
Unleashing the sobs he had suppressed for so long, the child poured out all his sorrow against my chest.
Jackjack
“Brother, another owie? I'll blow it away.”
Eager to comfort his brother in some way, Jackjack poked his plump little lips forward and gently blew warm air onto Hokan.
***
Hokan Russell Blantiger ///
“Um, about that poem from before.”
Perhaps feeling self-conscious after crying his eyes out, Hokan couldn't meet my eyes directly and kept glancing sideways at me.
Having stepped outside the columbarium, we were now sitting on the blanket Linda had packed, spread out across the grassy hillside.
Lulubell Durams
“Yes? What about it?”
I asked while unpacking our lunch, but no answer came for a while.
Hokan clasped his hands together and fidgeted with his fingers before continuing.
Hokan Russell Blantiger
“Did Teacher write it all by yourself?”
Lulubell Durams
“Yes, that’s right.”
Hokan Russell Blantiger
“Really? You didn't just memorize it from a book?”
Lulubell Durams
“Of course not. I wrote it myself. I studied composition very hard at the academy, you know.”
Hokan Russell Blantiger
“How do you write a poem like that?”
Lulubell Durams
“A poem like that?”
Hokan Russell Blantiger
“I mean… a poem that makes your heart feel… so strange inside.”
Lulubell Durams
“Would you like to try writing poetry, Hokan?”
Hokan Russell Blantiger
“Father loved poetry. I want to write one too, and bring it as a present every time I visit him.”
Lulubell Durams
“They say that when you write a poem meant to convey someone else's words, you must imagine standing in their shoes while holding the hand of the person receiving it. That's what I learned back at the academy.”
Hokan Russell Blantiger
“I don't understand. Whose shoes were you standing in, Teacher?”
Lulubell Durams
“The Duke asked me to write this poem.”
Hokan Russell Blantiger
“Uncle? That can't be.”
Lulubell Durams
“Standing in someone's shoes means trying to become that person for a moment. This time, I thought a great deal about what His Grace must be feeling in his heart.”
Hokan Russell Blantiger ☁
“Uncle… didn't seem sad at all. He wasn't even close with Father…”
Lulubell Durams
“That's not so. What people feel in their hearts doesn't always show on the outside. His Grace told me he wished the Former Duke would no longer worry about this land—or about you, Hokan.”
Hokan lowered his head, lost in thought.
It seemed he had believed the uncle he knew would never make such a request.
Hokan Russell Blantiger
“Was Uncle… sad too?”
Hokan seemed to realize that what he had seen of his uncle was not the whole truth.
Lulubell Durams
“Hokan, grownups hold back or hide their feelings far more often than you think. That's why you rarely see them cry—even when there are many times they truly want to.”
Jackjack
“Mama and Papa too.”
Having nestled in my lap, Jackjack scrambled to his feet and spoke, looking at Hokan.
Jackjack
“My papa got hurt right here before, but he din't cry. Mama has owies all the time, but she never cries either.”
Jackjack went on proudly, as though boasting of parents who never wept.
Jackjack ☁
“B-but… Jackjack cries when it owies…”
His earlier triumph vanished, Jackjack's words trailed off into a mumble, his head dropping down.
Hokan Russell Blantiger
“Hey, squirrel. Don't worry about it. I cried just now too.”
Offering what passed for comfort, Hokan patted Jackjack's back.
Jackjack !
“I'm not a squirrel! Brother, meanie!”
When a thoroughly sulking Jackjack glared at him, Hokan found the reaction amusing and offered a faint smile.
Seeing a smile return to Hokan's tear-flushed cheeks tugged at my heartstrings all the more.
Hokan Russell Blantiger
“Fine, you're not a squirrel. And I'm not a tiger. We're both people.”
Jackjack
“Yeah! Jackjack isn't squirrel. Brother isn't ti-gur either. We're people. Brother, 'kay?”
As if he had never glared in the first place, Jackjack instantly beamed, his eyes curving into little crescents.
Hokan nodded back at Jackjack.
Fortunately, having shed all those tears, Hokan looked visibly relieved.
Lulubell Durams
“All right, shall we eat our rice balls now?”
We shared the rice balls Linda had prepared, then made our way down the hill.
At the tail end of spring, a warm breeze blew past, brushing pleasantly against our cheeks.
It was a warmth that melted the heart.
***
In the study, Kuhn and Gale were relentlessly plowing through piles of backlogged work.
For several hours until Robert entered to serve black tea, the two men had remained buried in paperwork at their desks, scarcely moving an inch.
Robert
“Your Grace, Vice Commander. Please have some tea and take a brief respite.”
Robert spoke as he placed the teacups onto the tea table in the center of the study.
Kuhn Russell Blantiger
“Thank you. Do you happen to know what Hokan is doing?”
Without lifting his head, Kuhn asked.
Robert
“The Young Master went to the columbarium alongside the tutor from the capital. I was just thinking of heading down to serve tea and refreshments to our guests.”
Kuhn Russell Blantiger
“Hm…. Understood. You may go.”
Only after Robert departed from the study did Kuhn slowly push back his chair and stand up.
Kuhn Russell Blantiger
“Gale.”
Gale Onca
“Yes, Commander.”
Kuhn Russell Blantiger
“What remains on the schedule?”
Gale Onca
“There is the urgently convened monthly meeting. And the conference with the merchants is set to take place at the Tanon Merchant Guild tomorrow before our departure for the capital.”
Kuhn Russell Blantiger
“Is there time to stop by the columbarium for a moment?”
Gale Onca
“If you wish it, we can always make time. Would you like to go now?”
Kuhn Russell Blantiger
“Then let us pay a brief visit.”
Even as he answered, Gale found himself slightly surprised.
His Grace had seldom set foot in the Former Duke's columbarium.
***
Overlooking the splendid, breathtaking scenery of the North, the two climbed the hillside path.
Before long, they arrived at the columbarium, where Kuhn paused before the stone statue of the Former Duke.
Watching the swirl of emotions across his master's face, Gale felt an ache of sympathy.
Though His Grace always possessed an unshakeable will, he was human, after all; how could he be free of grief?
Gale knew as well as anyone that the Former Duke had been the single person Kuhn truly leaned upon.
Stepping inside the columbarium, they saw a bundle of daisies and a sheet of letter paper resting upon the altar.
Kuhn strode forward to the altar and picked up the paper.
In complete silence, Kuhn absorbed himself in reading the letter for a long time.
Behind him, Gale waited without a word.
Kuhn Russell Blantiger
“The teacher…”
Kuhn's voice drifted off faintly.
Gale stepped closer, tilting his head.
Kuhn Russell Blantiger
“It seems we chose the right teacher.”
Gale Onca
“Did Lady Durams write that?”
Kuhn Russell Blantiger
“I asked her for a poem. My brother loved poetry in life, so I thought it fitting to leave one for him.”
Gale Onca
“I see. That was truly a thoughtful idea. And does the verse meet with your approval?”
Kuhn Russell Blantiger
“She is… quite clever.”
