Ch#35
As he pushed the other strap away, the negligee, which had been hanging precariously, slid down. It wasn’t by choice that she covered her chest with both arms almost instantly. Rosalyn hunched her shoulders, feeling as if her heart might stop. She was so terrified she felt like she might burst into tears.
In the silent bedroom, only the sound of her own breath—thin and trembling—echoed.
The shaking throughout her body would not stop. She couldn’t believe she was standing half-naked in this unfamiliar room, before a man who was still a stranger to her. Barely covering herself, Rosalyn squeezed her eyes shut. She desperately hoped he would say something, anything.
“Lie down.”
His voice finally rang out, sounding like a salvation. He showed her the courtesy of pulling back the duvet on the bed to make a space for her. He even turned away while Rosalyn, arms pressed against her chest, carefully and as quickly as possible laid herself down.
Once the cozy duvet was pulled up to her chin, her mind calmed slightly. She even found enough composure to peek at the man’s back.
With his back still turned, he adjusted the brightness of the gas lamp before turning around again. In the lowered light, she looked up at him, trying not to think about her exposed chest or the negligee bunched at her waist.
After staring down at the bed for a moment, Jared slowly pulled back the duvet as if taking it from her. Rosalyn looked at him, covering herself with her bare hands.
She felt like she might die from the fear and awkwardness, but she couldn’t find her voice. She didn’t know if it was okay to speak, or what she should even say. All she could do was meet his gaze and wait for him to speak.
Jared looked down at the half-naked woman, then sat on the edge of the bed and spoke.
“You can close your eyes.”
A hint of self-derision was mixed into his low voice.
“It would be better if you did.”
Rosalyn followed his advice and closed her eyes. Clasping both hands over her chest, she waited for the next step.
Soon, he took one of her wrists and gently moved it away from her body. When his hand cupped her exposed right breast, she squeezed her eyes shut even tighter. Goosebumps erupted across her skin at the first touch of another person’s hand.
His caress was gentle. She could feel that he was being careful. Slowly, he moved her other arm away from her body as well. Now completely exposed, Rosalyn clenched her empty fists.
No one had ever touched her body like this. She had never touched anyone this way, nor had she even imagined it. Thus, Rosalyn couldn’t even tell what the purpose of this act was, but she soon sensed it instinctively. She could guess from the sensations traveling through her body and her uncontrollable reactions.
Though no one had ever told her the details of the intimate time between a man and a woman, Rosalyn had read scenes described in novels many times. Sweet, hot, strange. She hadn’t known what those vague adjectives meant then, but she felt she understood now. And she knew this was what Jared intended.
Rosalyn turned her head away, her lips pressed tight. Emotions and sensations she never thought could coexist flooded her all at once. Relief and fear, shame and pleasure, chills and heat. That inexplicable, strange feeling reached its peak when the man’s hand touched between her legs.
“Ah,”
Startled, she tried to close her knees, but it was no use. When she opened her eyes in fright, she saw him—the man looking down at her body and touching her.
Jared looked very calm. He wasn’t gasping for breath or squeezing his eyes shut like her, nor was he making strange sounds through gritted teeth.
He handled Rosalyn’s body with composure. It was her own body, yet it felt as if he knew it better. Every time his large fingers brushed against her, her throat caught and her body jolted. Sweet, hot, strange. Rosalyn couldn’t think of any more appropriate words.
Only when her breathing became heavy and ragged did he remove his clothes. Rosalyn knew Jared had been wearing nothing under his robe, so she could only pant, unable to bring herself to open her eyes. She didn’t even think to resist as he spread her legs wide.
When the man climbed over her and his hot, hard body touched her bare skin, her heart was pounding so hard she felt dizzy. When she opened her eyes, his damp hair was right before her. She could smell the thick scent of soap and his natural musk.
Without meeting her eyes, Jared spoke.
“It will hurt a bit at first, but it will be fine soon.”
A low-pitched voice. Rosalyn listened to the sound while staring at his black hair.
“Endure it.”
Then she closed her eyes again and prepared herself to endure.
The specific method of ‘it’ was still a mystery to her. However, since she had been warned it would be painful, that was all she thought about. Lying beneath the man, she waited with all her vulnerable parts exposed. She couldn’t stop trembling from the extreme tension.
“Ah,”
The moment she felt a sharp pain, Rosalyn instinctively pulled her body away.
“Not yet.”
Jared caught her shoulders. Rosalyn couldn’t even breathe, her eyes wide open. He still wasn’t looking at her face.
“A little more.”
The pain intensified. Fear surged. Finally, she tried to push him away with one hand, but her wrist was easily caught. His large hand dominated her with unbelievable strength.
Is this normal? She felt suffocated by a type of intense pain she had never experienced. In that moment, the person who came to her mind was her mother. A pale face. A strangely swollen belly. The smell of blood that filled the birthing room.
Something is wrong. It must be wrong. This can’t be normal.
“Jared…!”
Rosalyn held onto him almost desperately. Only then did the man stop moving and lift his head. The moment their eyes met, she could see every detail of his expression. A hardened jaw. Fierce eyes. Heavy breath. She couldn’t read that expression, one she was seeing for the first time.
“Just a moment… it’s too… it hurts too much….”
Is it supposed to be like this? I think something is wrong.
She bit her lip to stop the incoherent words from pouring out, but she couldn’t stop the tears from falling. Rosalyn tightened her grip on the man’s arm. Her fingertips dug into his firm skin.
Jared remained still for a moment as if frozen, then soon pushed himself up. Her held wrist was released. His arms, which had been holding her, moved away. He pulled the discarded duvet over the woman’s body to cover her, then put on the robe he had taken off.
Lying under the duvet, gasping for breath, Rosalyn stared at the man’s towering back with confused eyes.
A strange silence fell. Nothing could be heard but the sound of breathing. It was clear that ‘it’ had not been completed. Because she had stopped him in the middle.
Is he angry? I should have endured a little more.
This is a duty. It is something that must be done immediately after marriage. Remembering that fact too late, Rosalyn grew frantic.
“I’m sorry, again….”
“Let’s stop for today.”
Jared cut her off lightly and turned toward her. Looking at him while lying on the bed, he seemed exceptionally large and distant. Since he was backlit, his expression was hard to see.
“Rest. You must be tired.”
His tone wasn’t angry. If anything, it was closer to exhausted. The hollow voice of someone whose forced efforts had come to nothing.
“Go to sleep first. You did well today.”
With those words, the man turned away.
Rosalyn didn’t dare to stop him. She couldn’t even ask him where he was going as he left the bedroom. She just covered her trembling body with the duvet, at a complete loss.
Traces of the pain remained. It was a pain she had never experienced and had no way to describe. But more than that raw pain, more than the despair of having ruined their first night, what she feared more was the man’s attitude. The way he treated her with absolute professionalism.
‘You did well.’
A dry attitude that didn’t even share disappointment.
“Sigh….”
Rosalyn closed her eyes with a sigh. All sorts of thoughts and emotions rushed in, making her feel faint. Between the uncertainty and the fear, it felt as if she would never be able to fall asleep.
What should I do? What am I supposed to do from now on?
Rosalyn could think of nothing else until the night grew deep.
It was her wedding day. Her first day as the Duchess of Windberg.
In his youth, Jared had seen stallions being bred. They said it was a regular task performed by the workers at the Maxville stables. Watching the process of putting a stud in a room with a mare and having the male mount the female’s back, the boy had chuckled with a flushed face.
The person who took him there then was his father, Philip Glenn. It was the dignified education method of nobles to naturally teach the ways of male and female in such a manner. Though Jared, having two older brothers, already knew those ways quite well.
Did his father know? That his youngest son would end up in the position of that very stud.
