Previously
Baldur de Skadi scolds Jeanne for her ignorance regarding frostbite after learning she went for a walk in the snow to lose weight. He forbids her from walking in the courtyard until spring and suggests she ride her horse, Brül, instead.
The entire world was snow and ice, sparkling like crystal under the bright sun. Weighed down by frozen sheets, some trees bent until their trunks nearly touched the earth. Snow and ice clung to every surface. The wind whirred softly past our ears.
I turned toward the voice. Ana was humming a melody.
Her voice rang as pure and clear as untainted ice.
‘When the Snow Queen comes in deep midwinter.’
Mid-song, Ana vaulted nimbly down from her pony, moving with light, effortless grace. We tethered our mounts to a nearby tree and made our way toward the lake, snapping fallen branches beneath our boots or stepping around them.
I knew nothing of this alien world, so I trusted her words without a shadow of doubt. Ana beamed and held out her hand.
Following her lead, I stepped cautiously onto the sheet of ice. As expected, it was slick. Struggling to keep my balance, I tensed my legs to avoid slipping. Once I managed to stand upright on the frozen surface, Ana released my hand.
As if working magic, Ana began gliding over the ice, crossing one foot over the other. She pushed off the frozen surface, darting ahead before spinning in place. For my part, taking even a single step was an ordeal. Perhaps because the movement was so unfamiliar, I quickly grew short of breath and flushed with heat.
Ana looked like a sprite born of snow and ice. Gliding endlessly, she darted away and back toward me. Her cheeks soon flushed rosy, and her eyes sparkled with delight.
Eventually, she drifted out toward the far center of the vast lake, well out of reach, and worry seized me. Unfortunately, my fear was not unwarranted.
Crack, crrck!
A terrifying sound echoed, and Ana suddenly plunged straight through.
Only her head and arms remained above the fractured ice as she thrashed and sobbed. Her piercing shriek spurred me into motion, stumbling and slipping across the frozen surface toward her. Ana struggled desperately to drag herself onto the unbroken rim, but every piece she grabbed gave way under her weight. Trapped in the widening opening, she bobbed amid floating shards of ice.
Ana wailed at the top of her lungs.
I rushed forward, dropping to my knees to reach out. Just then, a sickening sound tore past my ears.
Creeeeaaak.
It was the ice beneath my own weight. In an instant, I recoiled on pure instinct. Streaked with tears, Ana thrashed in the water and stared at me. I knew I would never forget those eyes—blue, wide, and silently asking, ‘Are you going to abandon me?’ But if I reached for her now, I would surely be dragged in with her.
‘What do I do? Think!’
Like a flash of lightning, a memory struck me—the branches. The broken boughs shattered beneath the snow! I shouted.
I pushed desperately against the slick surface, racing back toward the shore. I fell several times, striking my chin, but there was no time to register the pain. The instant I touched the bank, I scanned the ground for a branch. Thankfully, I spotted one nearby that was thick and long enough. Snatching it up, I dashed back, finding Ana clinging to the broken edges of the waterhole, too exhausted even to weep.
Trembling violently, Ana caught the branch and hauled herself up. Once I dragged her onto ice solid enough to hold us, I wrapped my arms around her. Her rigid little frame shuddered uncontrollably. Her long hair and clothes were already stiffening into sheets of ice.
The Duke’s warning flashed in my mind—that cold exposure brought on frostbite—and I immediately began peeling off her wet garments. Instinct warned me that leaving them on would be fatal. Stripped on the open ice, Ana shivered even harder. I pulled off my velvet cap and fitted it over her head, then took off my own coat and bundled her inside it. Even that was not enough. I slipped off my boots and shoved them onto her feet. The ferocious chill bit ferociously into my exposed skin and bare soles.
Wrapped in warm layers, the realization that she had survived must have finally washed over her. Still shivering, Ana’s shoulders hitched as she dissolved into sobs.
I had no time to comfort her. Hooking an arm beneath her shoulders, I hauled her to her feet.
I knew without thinking that we were out of time. It was a raw, primal certainty pulsing in my blood. We ran to the shore, where I untethered both reins from the tree. Ana was in no state to ride on her own, so I hoisted her onto Brül and swung up behind her. Clamping one arm tightly around her waist, I yelled to the mare.
Brül surged forward at full gallop. In the saddle, Ana swayed unsteadily.
The child was slipping from consciousness, succumbing to the cold. Gripping the reins in one hand and clasping her tight with the other, I screamed over the wind.
At my persistent urging, Ana began to sing through rattling breaths.
‘When the Snow Queen comes in deep midwinter.’
‘All the wide world begins to shiver.’
Listening to her teeth clatter with every line, I was consumed by suffocating regret.
‘A queen in robes of jeweled frost.’
‘Riding low in her carriage of crystal.’
‘This is all my fault.’
‘The babbling river stills its song.’
‘And ferocious bears sink into slumber.’
‘I never should have brought her somewhere so dangerous.’
As the adult, I should have refused. I should have stopped her from venturing so deep into peril.
‘When the Snow Queen comes in deep midwinter.’
‘The woods don garments fresh and new.’
Instead, I had let myself be swept along, unquestioningly trusting the words of a child eager to play. And I was supposed to be her teacher.
I had let a young girl act as my guide. I was a failure as an instructor, and a failure as a grown woman. I was completely unfit. Guilt tore through my chest like a physical blow. If Ana died, I would never be able to live with myself. The shame alone would kill me.
‘If I were any kind of teacher, I would have protected her.’
‘When the Snow Queen comes in deep midwinter.’
‘All the wide world begins to shiver.’
Ana picked up the verse once more, but her voice had grown faint, drifting away like an echo. Listening to that fragile tune, I realized I cared for this child far more deeply than I had ever admitted. Like my own sister—yes, as if she were my own flesh and blood.
‘What do I do? What if she dies?’
I rode like someone possessed.
‘You’re the only person I have left to love in this place.’
I had no hat, no coat, and no boots, yet the cold did not even register.
To tell the truth, I barely recall how we reached the manor or what happened after we arrived. Amid the haze, the one thing etched sharply into my mind was the wave of sheer relief that washed over me when the walls came into view.
I threw open the doors and shoved Ana inside as fast as I could. Then, my strength spent, I collapsed forward onto the floor beside her. The warmth inside the estate hit me so hard it brought tears to my eyes.
I screamed with the last shred of breath left in my lungs. The frantic, pounding rush of approaching footsteps was the last thing I heard before everything went dark.
\* * *
When consciousness finally drifted back, far more time had passed than I realized. In my brief moments of clarity, I found myself lying in a familiar space. It was my bedroom, and right in front of me, flames roared in the hearth. I tried to turn over, but my body refused to cooperate. Tilting my head downward, I saw that I was stretched out on a long sofa, buried beneath a mountain of blankets. Someone must have dragged the sofa close to the fire before laying me down. By all rights, I should have been sweltering, yet a vicious chill ran through me, and my entire body ached as if every bone had been crushed.