Ch#163
“I, I don’t know the full details, but…”
The maid trailed off with a flustered expression before continuing her awkward explanation.
“I heard he has to be stationed at the Balto border for a while because of the conflict.”
“For a while… Just how long is…”
Talia’s voice faltered as she bit her lip. She was the one who had said she never wanted to see his face again. What right did she have to ask such a thing?
As she stared blankly down at the flowers by her bedside, the maid, sensing her mood, hesitantly offered the answer to the question Talia hadn’t finished.
“There was no specific date given, but… I was told he doesn’t plan to be away from the castle for long. He intends to travel back and forth between the castle and the encampment as the situation allows…”
Talia let out a sigh of relief before she even realized it, and upon catching herself, she let out a hollow laugh. She felt disgusted with herself.
Looking down at the rain-soaked flower buds, Talia let out a dry, intermittent chuckle before covering her stinging eyelids with the back of her hand. The insides of her eyes felt as if they were burning.
She knew instinctively. He had left because of her. Instead of casting her out, he had chosen to leave himself.
‘But why…’
A single question spun endlessly in her mind.
Why go this far?
Even if he accepted the Emperor’s proposal and divorced her, no one would blame him. It had been a forced marriage from the start.
She knew it too. Barkas had given her no reason to resent him. Her limp, the loss of her child—it was all her own responsibility.
She knew she should have told him that.
You did nothing wrong. I am the cause of all the misfortune that has befallen me. So please, don’t feel guilt or a sense of responsibility.
Just throw someone like me away. Everyone else does. Even the people who gave birth to me did. So why do you…
Her chest ached as if it were on fire. She felt as though she were doing something terribly wrong.
Yet, she didn’t know how to fix it. She wasn’t even sure if she wanted to fix it.
“Your Grace, are you alright?”
The maid asked worriedly, noticing Talia’s dazed state.
Talia held her throbbing head and shook it weakly.
“I’m fine. It’s just…”
Talia looked at the maid’s face through vision as hazy as mist before turning her gaze toward the rain-splattered window. The drizzle from earlier that afternoon had turned into a downpour that lashed mercilessly against the glass.
He would be walking through that rain right now. She thought that perhaps he might not have made it very far yet.
Without knowing what she hoped to achieve, Talia stood up from the bed. The maid approached her with a panicked face.
“W-What is it? What’s wrong?”
“Bring me my cloak.”
When she issued the command in a dignified voice that brooked no defiance, the girl, who had been reaching out as if to stop her, froze in her tracks.
Talia pressed her in a sharp tone.
“Did you not hear me? Bring me my clothes.”
The maid, looking as if she were about to cry, hesitantly brought over a heavy coat.
Talia threw it over her loose linen dress and stepped outside, where the dim hallway came into view. As she took a limping step forward, a large shadow blocked her path.
“Where do you intend to go?”
A young man clad in armor looked down at her with a solemn face. He was the guard who had begun standing watch at her door like a jailer ever since the day she had tried to sneak out of the castle.
Talia glared at him with piercing eyes and spoke sarcastically.
“Did the Grand Duke give orders to keep me under house arrest in my bedroom?”
“His Grace commanded that we never take our eyes off the Grand Duchess and protect her thoroughly.”
Talia’s expression clouded for a moment before she snapped back haughtily.
“Then follow those orders and escort me. Do not presume to stand in my way.”
As she moved toward the stairs, the man blocked her path again.
“What I do depends on where Your Grace intends to go.”
The man gave her a stubborn look.
“You are free to move anywhere within the castle, but if you intend to go outside, you must have the Grand Duke’s permission.”
Talia glared at him, her face full of suppressed rage. But the young soldier did not budge.
“I ask again. Where do you plan to go?”
“I…”
She started to say she was going to where Barkas was, but she closed her mouth.
She was the one who had pushed him to leave. What right did she have to chase after him now? What could she possibly say?
Was she going to throw a selfish tantrum, demanding he stay by her side even if it meant further political isolation?
Talia felt all her motivation drain away in an instant and let out a deflated breath.
“…I want to go up to the castle walls.”
The soldier narrowed his eyes suspiciously but stepped aside. Since he had already declared she could go anywhere within the castle, he had no grounds to stop her.
Talia headed straight down the stairs. She felt the maid and the soldier following quietly behind her, but she didn’t give them a single glance as she left the main keep.
As she crossed the wide courtyard, she felt anxious gazes pouring over her, as if everyone was worried the Grand Duchess might flee the castle. Ignoring them, she climbed the rain-slicked stone steps, and a grey plain shrouded in a curtain of rain filled her vision.
The procession of soldiers was nowhere to be seen; they must have departed some time ago.
She approached the battlements and stared blankly at the fields where the harsh wind and rain swirled. Unable to watch any longer, the maid made a cautious suggestion.
“Your Grace, you’ll catch a cold like this. Perhaps it’s best to go back inside…”
Talia stared at the pale face of the girl who was getting wet because of her for a moment before slowly turning back toward the stairs. Just then, a mournful cry drifted from somewhere.
She stiffened, startled. At first, she thought she was hearing hallucinations again. It was only when she saw the maid’s surprised face that she realized it was a real sound.
“What on earth is that sound?”
“The hunters must have brought back some animal cubs from somewhere.”
The soldier answered nonchalantly to the maid’s question, looking toward the rear garden.
“Don’t mind it, let’s keep moving.”
Ignoring the soldier’s urging, Talia turned toward the source of the sound.
As she moved along the walkway atop the castle walls, the sharp, terrified cries became gradually clearer.
For some reason, her heart began to race. She almost ran down the stairs leading to the rear garden.
A moment later, she discovered five or six armed soldiers gathered in the castle’s back courtyard, where the brush and trees grew thick. Those who were tossing something into a small pit stopped what they were doing when they saw her.
“Your Grace, what brings you to a place like this…?”
One soldier hurried to bow his head.
Talia ignored his question and approached the pit. Three or four dark-colored wild dogs lay limp in the mud.
After staring at them for a moment, she threw a sharp question at the soldier.
“What exactly are you doing?”
“We were disposing of these Dire Wolf cubs.”
A bearded soldier replied in a surly tone.
“These pests killed over a dozen of the Grand Ducal family’s horses all through last winter. They finally succeeded in breeding; we found these plump cubs crawling around the forest. We thought about just killing them, but we hoped to harvest some mana stones, so we brought them back, but…”
The man let out a heavy sigh and picked up a dead wolf carcass from the ground, tossing it into the pit.
“They’re too young; nothing comes out even when we cut them open. So we were just burying them.”
With a wet thud, the young animal’s corpse sank into the muddy water.
Talia instinctively took a step back, but the cries that had briefly subsided rang out once more.
Whipping her head around, Talia’s eyes widened as she saw a soldier pulling a bundle of grey fur out of a large sack.
The soldier pressed a knife against the animal’s throat. Seeing this, Talia lunged forward before she could even think.
The soldier, pushed unexpectedly, let out a short cry and fell to the ground.
She bypassed the soldier, who was looking up at her in shock, and picked up the grey creature from the ground. As she did, the sorrowful wailing ceased as if by magic.
Talia carefully examined the rain-soaked grey wolf.
Beneath its white, glowing, downy eyelashes, she saw pale blue eyes. Talia held her breath as she discovered silver shards within them.
“Why are you doing this, Your Grace?”
The guard who had followed her asked in an annoyed tone.
Talia replied without even looking at him.
“I am going to raise this child.”
She felt the people surrounding her stir. They were likely all staring at her as if she were insane. Perhaps she was.
But it didn’t matter.
She opened her cloak and pulled the small animal into her embrace.
The wolf couldn’t take its eyes off her for a single moment. Finding a profound longing within those transparent pupils soaked with tears, Talia wore a tender smile.
“From now on, your name is Khan.”
The small, downy ears twitched adorably.
Watching the sight with eyes full of joy, Talia buried her face in the damp fur and whispered.
“Let’s stay together from now on.”
