Ch#162
Talia twisted her wrists violently, trying to pull her bound hands free. At that, the man’s face, which had been as smooth as a mask, contorted cruelly.
“I’m asking where you were trying to go.”
Barkas, who had pulled her toward him with brute strength, growled the words as if spitting them into her face.
Talia glared at him with eyes full of hostility. Her cramped legs throbbed with sharp pain, but she used every ounce of her strength to maintain a mask of composure.
“What does it matter to you where I go?”
In that instant, she realized she had completely exhausted his patience. A sound like a broken wind instrument escaped his thick throat, where the veins were bulging.
“Do you have any idea how dangerous what you did today was?”
Hard fingers dug into her skin. He grabbed her shoulders firmly with his other hand and spoke each word with emphasis, as if carving them into her mind.
“If a lowlife vagrant or a criminal had found you first… have you even imagined what would have happened to you?”
Talia struggled not to cower. As if to trample her efforts, he continued mercilessly.
“Rape, murder, plunder… It’s nothing short of a miracle that none of those things happened to you before I found you.”
“Don’t exaggerate. I was only out for half a day…”
“Exaggerate?”
Sharp thorns of anger rose in his eyes. The silver flecks arranged irregularly along the texture of his irises looked like the terrifying teeth of a beast.
“Are you pretending not to know, or are you really such a fool that you don’t notice the way people around you look at you?”
He threatened her ruthlessly, like a man determined to insult.
“Do you think you could survive even a single day outside this castle unharmed?”
“Let go of me!”
“Let’s say you had the luck of the heavens and made it through one night without incident. What did you plan to do after that? You, who can barely manage a few hours of walking before you’re crippled with pain…!”
“I said let go!”
With a sound like the crack of a whip, her palm felt as if it were on fire. Only after feeling that stinging pain did she realize she had struck his face.
Talia stared blankly at his cheek, where her handprint was clearly visible, before her face slowly crumpled. A breath as rough as sandpaper rose through her throat.
“A body that can’t even walk properly, just like you said… what does it matter what happens to it?”
The grip on her arms tightened even further. A dark, ominous light flickered in his fractured eyes.
It was the first time she had seen him so angry. Strangely, however, her fear began to subside. She almost wished he would just break her then and there.
She continued, her words falling in jagged pieces through her teeth.
“I don’t care if I end up even more of a wreck than this. Whatever happens to me will be better than being by your side.”
In an instant, the light faded from his fiercely glowing pupils. Toward that bloodless face, she poured out her words as if she were utterly sick of him.
“So please, make it so I never have to see you again.”
Those words seemed to strip away all his will to fight. The hands that had been squeezing her as if to crush her bones fell away limply.
For a long time, the only sound in the suffocating silence was the crackling of the embers in the fireplace. Finally, a dry voice drifted from his frozen lips.
“Is that truly what you want?”
Talia opened her mouth to say yes. But as if someone were strangling her, she couldn’t squeeze out a single word.
Hot tears welled up over her corneas. She looked down to hide them and nodded.
“Do you think you’ll be okay if you don’t see me?”
Her heart twisted painfully at the low voice pouring over her head. Talia forced open her tight throat and barely managed to squeeze out an answer.
“Yes.”
He didn’t say anything.
Talia shot a resentful look at the man sitting perfectly still.
Please, just stop now. How much more terrible do I have to become before you’ll discard me?
Talia stared at his gaunt face, which was steeped in deep fatigue, as if to etch it into her retinas. Then she squeezed her eyes shut and spoke harshly.
“You said you’d do whatever I asked if it was within your power, didn’t you?”
“……”
“You’ve never properly kept that word.”
She had to stop for a moment as her throat choked up.
Talia didn’t have the confidence to look him straight in the eye, so she kept her gaze fixed on her own pale knuckles and continued with difficulty.
“So for once, do as I wish. I don’t want to face you anymore. Just looking at you makes it hard to breathe.”
Once again, a heavy silence descended. After sitting in silence for a long time, the man finally spoke.
“……I understand perfectly what you mean.”
With a face as hollow as an empty shell, the man slowly stood up.
Talia reflexively twisted her hands together to keep from reaching out. When he pulled the doorknob, cold air rushed in and scraped against her wet cheeks.
Soon after, the man disappeared into the darkness.
The click of the door closing sounded like the blade of a guillotine falling.
Talia, who had been frozen still, jumped off the bed like someone possessed. She tried to chase after him, but the strength vanished from her overworked knees.
Sprawled unsightly on the carpet, Talia let out a hollow laugh as she looked down at her faintly convulsing legs.
What was she going to do, chasing after him now?
Clutching her broken legs, Talia let out a wheezing laugh before collapsing onto the carpet.
After that day, Barkas never showed his face to her again. Nor did he seem to be making preparations to send her to a convent or the Imperial Palace. He simply left her neglected, keeping her virtually imprisoned in her room.
Perhaps he had pushed aside matters concerning her to deal with the backlog of work.
Talia sat on the windowsill, looking out at the castle courtyard where a sunshower was falling. One by one, the knights from the Imperial Palace who had been staying at the Grand Duchy were mounting their horses.
It seemed they had come to request military cooperation. On one side of the vast training ground, she could see wagons loaded with weapons and hundreds of Eastern mounted warriors waiting.
After scanning the crowd for a long time, she finally spotted Barkas.
Talia pressed her forehead against the glass window and stared intently at the man standing in the rain.
He looked fine.
As he gave instructions to the knights with his usual impeccable, cold demeanor, a mixture of emotions—she couldn’t tell if it was relief or pain—swirled within her.
Talia blew a white breath onto the window, erasing his image. The man who had fallen apart before her was gone. She didn’t even have the right to be sad about that fact. Because she was the one who had pushed him away.
Talia pulled the curtains over the window. She walked over to the shelf, lit the brazier, and placed a handful of dried herbs over the flames. Feeling her mind gradually melt into a thick haze, she lay down on the bed and closed her eyes. The faint sound of rain echoed in her mind, which had become unraveled by the effects of the herbs.
She had no idea how long she had been dazed like that. Startled by a rustling sound, Talia snapped out of it and blinked her bleary eyes, discovering a maid setting something down at her bedside.
A sharp, grassy scent mingled with the stale air.
“……What is that?”
The young maid flinched and peered at her with wary eyes. Ever since Talia had drugged her and fled, she seemed to have been branded a dangerous person; the maids’ attitudes toward her were much more rigid than before.
The girl took a step back and answered hesitantly.
“It—it’s Thousand-Hand Flower. I was told it helps with mental stability……”
Talia turned her gaze to the bedside. A handful of yellow flowers, wet with rain, were placed in a transparent glass bottle. As she stared blankly at them, the maid added cautiously.
“The Grand Duke gave them to me to deliver before he left.”
Talia looked back at her with eyes full of shock.
“……Left?”
