Ch#144
144
As winter deepened, her belly swelled noticeably.
The change, which had once felt wondrous and full of pride, soon transformed into a calamity. As the baby grew, the physical burden on her body increased.
Groaning from a pain that felt as if her waist were snapping in two, Talia tried carefully to shift her position. However, no matter what angle she lay at, there was no escaping the agony.
“Would you like to try turning this way? I will massage your lower back for you.”
Marisen, watching her suffer with pity, made a gentle suggestion.
Talia nodded immediately. Usually, she loathed having others touch her body, but she was in no position to be picky.
“Could you lift your legs just a little? It might be slightly more comfortable if I slide a cushion in.”
“Like this…?”
As she slightly lifted her knees, the woman slid a pillow between them.
Talia let out a long breath. It didn’t do much for the pain in her back, but at least the tingling sensation running down her legs seemed to ease a bit.
“Please tell me if it hurts.”
Leaning over the bed, the woman began to press firmly on her lower back with exquisite pressure.
Talia groaned deeply and stretched out her stiff legs.
Moving her hands down, the woman carefully examined the cramped muscles and asked a question.
“How is the pain in your legs?”
“Why ask? It hurts terribly, of course.”
“If it is truly unbearable, shall I burn a little dream-grass for you?”
Talia furrowed her brow and stared intently at the woman’s face. That calm expression was filled with nothing but concern for her.
“Will that… harm the baby?”
“Since you’ve entered the stable period, it shouldn’t be a major problem.”
Talia looked down at her belly with conflicted eyes.
She desperately wanted to escape the pain for even a moment, but she was terrified of any ill effects on the child.
While she was agonizing over the decision, Tiuran, who had been stoking the logs in the fireplace, suddenly interjected.
“It is better not to use medicine if possible. It hasn’t been accurately determined yet what effect dream-grass has on a fetus.”
Marisen glared at her, looking offended.
“Do you think I would prescribe something harmful to Her Grace? I have prescribed painkillers to expectant mothers before, and there has never been an issue.”
“But there are always exceptional circumstances…”
“That’s enough.”
Talia cut their bickering short. She was in no mood to tolerate the subtle power struggle between the two women.
“Even if I use medicine, it’ll just hurt again once I wake up. I’ll just bear it.”
“But you can’t even sleep properly because of the pain. If you collapse from exhaustion…”
“I said that’s enough! If you’re going to nag, go away.”
Pushing the woman’s hands away somewhat roughly, Talia pulled the covers over her head. She didn’t have the energy left for useless squabbling.
As the swollen uterus pressed against the nerves of her twisted pelvis, her already aching legs throbbed miserably, and cramps in her calves became more frequent.
The stabbing pain in her back grew worse by the day. The fact that she had to endure this until summer felt overwhelming.
Talia lightly pressed down on her bulging lower abdomen with both hands.
As a faint movement flickered beneath the taut skin, the resentment she had begun to feel toward the baby melted away in an instant.
Still, she planned to complain once this child was born.
I was in so much pain because of you. But I endured it all. So you have to listen to me. And you have to like me most in the whole world. Because I’m going to do the same for you.
As she was blankly lost in such thoughts, she must have drifted off to sleep at some point.
Feeling a touch stroking her forehead, Talia opened her eyes to find Barkas’s shadowed face looking down at her. She sat up groggily.
“When did you get here?”
“I have just returned from finishing my official duties. Please, lie back down.”
“No. My back hurts from lying down all day.”
Pushing away the hands trying to make her lie down again, she leaned against a cushion on the headboard and scrutinized him in his formal attire.
Dressed in a reddish-brown doublet with the elaborate embroidery characteristic of the Eastern Region and black leather boots, he looked every bit the dignified and elegant nobleman.
“Was there some kind of event?”
Talia asked suspiciously, her eyes lingering on his more formal-than-usual dress.
Barkas replied calmly as he unbuttoned his doublet.
“I only attended the Noble Alliance meeting.”
“Meetings have been frequent lately. Has a problem come up?”
“There are no problems. More importantly, why did you move rooms?”
Barkas suddenly changed the subject, his tone laced with dissatisfaction.
Talia clasped her knees with both hands and awkwardly lowered her gaze.
“I’m keeping you awake too. I think it’s better if we use separate rooms until I give birth.”
“Throw away such useless considerations.”
Barkas spoke rather sharply and leaned over the bed.
Realizing he was trying to pick her up, Talia backed into the corner of the bed.
“It’s because it’s more comfortable for me.”
His eyes narrowed.
Staring at her face, Barkas sat on the edge of the bed and countered in a cool voice.
“Didn’t you once say it was uncomfortable if I wasn’t by your side to attend to you?”
“That was then… but it’s different now.”
“What is different?”
Talia looked at Barkas’s strong, beautiful silhouette against the light, then shifted her gaze to her own body wrapped in a thin nightgown. Her breasts, swollen like a milk cow’s, and her belly, bulging like a toad’s, caught her eye.
Her gaunt, thin frame had been unsightly enough, but this body, swollen to the point of bursting, was even more repulsive to her. Quite apart from the joy of having a baby, she felt increasingly wretched that she was neither elegant like Aila nor sensual like Senebier.
She pulled the duvet up over her shoulders and spoke with a hint of irritation.
“It didn’t hurt this much back then.”
“That is all the more reason I should be by your side to care for you.”
Frowning, Barkas reached out for her again.
Talia flinched and turned away. But before she could escape, a long arm wrapped around her back.
Pulled onto his lap in an instant, Talia hurriedly tugged the hem of her skirt down to her toes.
However, Barkas’s attention seemed focused solely on her waist.
Rubbing the muscles near her spine with his firm palms, Barkas noticed her tearful face and scowled.
“Does it hurt that much?”
Talia glared at him with watery eyes.
This man probably wouldn’t understand in the slightest her heart’s desire to hide her ruined body.
She knew well enough that it was a foolish emotion. But since she was nine years old, Talia had wanted to look the most beautiful in the world to him. So much so that the fact she couldn’t felt like despair.
“Yes, it hurts enough to die.”
Instead of honestly confessing that truth, Talia vented her temper for no reason.
“It’s so unfair. Why do I have to be the only one in this much pain? I wish you hurt even half as much as I do.”
“…Then you should keep me by your side to torment me. Why try to use separate rooms?”
Barkas whispered coaxingly as he rubbed her back.
Her heart began to soften at that gentle voice, but only for a moment. When his hand descended toward her swollen belly, she quickly pulled her knees up and curled into a ball.
“No. Don’t touch it.”
“Why not?”
The face of the man who had been patiently soothing her throughout grew slightly sharp. It seemed his patience had finally reached its limit.
Taking a long breath, Barkas asked in a much lower voice.
“It is my child. Why won’t you even let me touch you lately?”
“It’s not your child.”
His face froze ice-cold at the words she spat out like a tantrum.
For a second, her heart skipped a beat in fear, but Talia continued with feigned composure.
“Until it comes out into the world, it is entirely my child alone. Since I’m the one enduring this pain to carry it, it’s only fair that I have exclusive rights.”
At her words, which were nothing short of stubborn nonsense, the furrow in Barkas’s brow deepened.
