Ch#143
143
Long, elegant fingers expertly peeled the jewel-like, shimmering red fruit.
As she continuously accepted the pieces he fed her, Talia carefully studied his face reflected in the firelight.
Even as he tended to her with the meticulous care of one raising a baby bird, Barkas still wore a mask-like expression, his true thoughts difficult to discern.
In the past, she would have been dying of curiosity to know what lay beneath that mask. Now, however, it didn’t matter.
Talia placed her hand on her lower abdomen and pressed down slightly. Beneath the thin layer of skin, she could feel her uterus beginning to swell and grow taut.
When she first learned of her pregnancy, she hadn’t been able to relax for even a single moment, terrified that something might go wrong with the baby.
Knowing she had a constitution that made conceiving difficult only heightened her anxiety. Even the slightest tugging sensation in her lower abdomen would send a surge of terror through her, making her fear she was losing the child; every minute change in her body felt like an ill omen.
The one who had reassured her, unexpectedly, was the healing sorceress of the Sheikan family.
Perhaps it was because she had experienced the loss of a child herself, but Tiuran knew better than anyone what precautions needed to be taken.
Though Talia had been somewhat reluctant at first, she gradually began to take the woman’s advice seriously. She figured that since the healer’s own life might be forfeit if the baby came to harm, the woman wouldn’t dare make the same mistake twice.
In any case, the knowledge of the Eastern sorceress proved quite useful, and thanks to her, Talia slowly regained her composure. Once her mind was at ease, she was finally able to focus entirely on the existence of the child.
‘At this stage… would it be about the size of a fist?’
Nibbling on the pomegranate seeds he offered, Talia carefully traced the outline of her slightly firm lower belly.
This child was supposed to be nothing more than a necessity. She had calculated that if she gave birth to an heir for the House of Sheerkhan, no one in the East would dare cast her out, and even if Gares ascended the throne in the future, the child would serve as her shield.
She hadn’t realized that a being she carried solely for her own protection could make her this curious.
Talia pictured the tiny living creature growing inside her.
Would it be small and cute, like a child of the fae?
By now, it might have hair or eyes. If so, what color would they be?
Perhaps the baby would have thick blonde hair and dark blue eyes like her. Or maybe it would have pale blonde hair and bluish-gray eyes scattered with silver flecks, just like Barkas.
Whichever it was, the child would surely be the most beautiful thing in the world.
Her curiosity swelled day by day.
Talia was curious about everything—the baby’s appearance, their voice, their personality. She reached a point where she could think of nothing else. Even Barkas, who had always occupied the majority of her consciousness, was pushed to the background.
“Hey. What will you do if a girl is born?”
Talia asked suddenly, mulling over a pomegranate seed while lost in a languid daydream.
Barkas, who had finished feeding her one pomegranate and was picking up another, shot her a glance.
His brow furrowed deeply. He looked like someone who hadn’t given a single thought to the baby’s gender.
A sudden wave of anxiety washed over her.
Was Barkas not as curious about this child as she was?
Come to think of it, though he often pulled her onto his lap and stroked her belly, he had never once mentioned the child.
Perhaps his interest was solely focused on an heir to carry on his legacy.
As if to nail those fears home, Barkas muttered in a low voice.
“…I don’t even want to think about it.”
Talia froze in shock.
Barkas, staring quietly down at the knife he was using to peel the pomegranate, added softly.
“If she looks like you, she’ll be swarmed by all sorts of vermin. Dealing with them alone will be no small task.”
Talia reflexively hunched her shoulders.
Rather than being angered by his troubled murmuring, she felt a sense of dread first.
If a girl who looked like her were born, she really did feel as though the child would become a target for all sorts of beasts, just as he said. A type of fear she had never experienced before surged at the thought.
Talia bolted upright and spoke urgently.
“Then you have to protect her thoroughly. It’s your role to always be by her side and protect her so that no one can hurt her.”
Barkas looked back at her, the corners of his eyes crinkling. He seemed puzzled as to why she was demanding something so obvious.
He gave a calm nod.
“Of course I intend to do so. It is the duty of the Patriarch to safely protect and care for his daughter until a trustworthy husband is found for her.”
“Don’t say such ridiculous things. I’m never letting her get married.”
Suddenly, her voice took on a sharp edge.
Talia glared at him with her brows arched, then threw her arms around her stomach as if someone might snatch the baby away and cried out shrilly.
“I’m keeping her with me for the rest of my life. I will never, ever send her anywhere.”
Barkas’s eyes widened slightly.
Only then did she realize that her voice was thick with tears. She didn’t know why her eyes were suddenly stinging.
Talia bit her trembling lip hard, and soon, the words stuck in her throat began to pour out.
“I will never leave my baby alone in a strange place. I won’t let them tremble in fear among strangers, and I won’t make them swallow their loneliness alone. I will always, always be by their side. I’ll hold them every night and keep them safe.”
What began as a rambling murmur turned into something close to a sob by the end. Before she could feel any shame, something like a ball of fire kept rising up from within her.
Talia frantically tugged at Barkas’s sleeve, pressuring him.
“You have to do the same.”
Beyond her overflowing tears, she saw his face grow faintly rigid.
Talia shook his arm, demanding an answer.
“Hurry up and say you will.”
The man, who had been motionless as if stunned by her sudden outburst of tears, set down what he was holding as if tossing it aside and climbed onto the bed.
Talia sat on his lap as if it were the most natural thing in the world. His long, strong arms immediately wrapped around her back.
“I will do so.”
His heavy, low voice fell over the crown of her head.
Talia gripped his clothes as if she might tear them and stared intently into his pale, shimmering blue eyes.
“Can you swear it?”
“I swear it.”
“You’re promising me. That no matter what happens, you’ll protect our baby.”
A calloused thumb brushed the tears from her eyes. A slightly roughened voice washed over her forehead.
“Yes. I’ll do everything as you say, so stop crying.”
Talia’s lips parted.
She wanted to push him even harder.
You must always put our child first. Even before Gares, even before Aila.
She swallowed the words that rose to her throat.
She felt like she wouldn’t be able to bear it if there was even a hint of hesitation in his answer.
Swallowing her sobs, Talia eventually wound her arms around his neck and wept the rest of her long-held sorrow into his rock-solid shoulder.
“Even… even if it’s a boy, I’m keeping him with me. I won’t send him to the Imperial Palace or the Temple.”
She felt the hands around her back tighten.
Barkas murmured in a weighted voice.
“Yes. Whether it’s a daughter or a son, let’s keep them with us forever.”
For some reason, those words made her sorrow well up even more.
Talia rubbed her wet cheek against the crook of his neck. Barkas gently patted her back.
It was a touch that seemed to promise everything would be alright, and that there would be no more pain or sadness.
Talia desperately wanted to believe in that promise.
