Chapter 178
178th Episode
By the time I got closer to the guest quarters, the day had brightened a little. The drizzling rain soaked the ground.
"Madam, please watch out for the puddles."
"Worry about yourself, Young Miss. You're treating me like a helpless old woman."
"Oh, no, it's just that I don't want you to get wet. It's uncomfortable to get wet in the rain."
"If I get wet, you get wet too. What are you saying while holding onto an old woman's arm?"
Madam Ma retorted gruffly, but the corners of her mouth subtly lifted.
As I entered the guest quarters with Madam Ma, Tae-neung Jin-in, who was passing by, deliberately made a sound and pretended to know us.
"Sect Leader."
As I bowed my head and politely clasped my hands, Tae-neung Jin-in gave a gentle smile.
"Have you both been at peace overnight?"
"Yes. Thanks to the Sect Leader's consideration, we are staying comfortably."
"I'm glad to hear that. Madam Ma..."
"An old woman is always the same. Don't worry about me."
Madam Ma replied curtly, handed me the umbrella, and strode past Tae-neung Jin-in into the servants' quarters.
As I glanced at Tae-neung Jin-in, flustered, he smiled as if to say it was okay.
"I'm relieved, thanks to you. You've worked hard, So-hye. Go and rest."
"Yes, Sect Leader. I'll go in now."
I gave a careful greeting and hesitantly entered the guest quarters. The sound of Taoist scriptures being read began to be heard in the distance through the rain.
I gathered my wet clothes and slowly sat down on a chair. Ju-ryeong, who had been curled up and sleeping, stretched out his hind legs and yawned, looking at me.
"Ju-ryeong. Come here."
At my call, the fellow trudged over and jumped onto my lap, tilting his head as if to ask what was wrong.
"You know, who did you live with before you went to Gwisu-sin?"
"Khee?"
"I mean your previous owner. Or should I say, your previous-previous owner. Was he a Martial Artist? Maybe that person also..."
I stopped myself from asking if he was dead. It was a meaningless question.
"Kyoo?"
When I stopped talking, Ju-ryeong blinked his black eyes and scratched my knee with his front paw.
"No. Never mind. Do you want some jerky?"
"Kyuk."
I smiled bitterly, fed him the jerky, and stroked his soft fur.
Was it because of the weather? Or was it because of Madam Ma's sad back? I felt down and had no motivation to do anything.
But I couldn't just do nothing. I sat blankly for a while, then started grinding ink, intending to write some overdue replies.
I tried to clear my head, drawing round circles on the inkstone. But the more circles I drew, the more thoughts piled up, not disappearing.
The increasingly dark color of the ink felt like blood sticking to my hands.
The color of a Martial Artist stained with slaughter, where the stench of blood never faded no matter how much you washed it away.
I sighed and put down the ink, and Gwisu-sin's hawk, who had been quietly in the corner, flapped its wings.
"Why? Do you want me to write a reply quickly?"
"Ket."
The hawk replied timidly, tried to approach me, then flinched at the sight of Ju-ryeong and curled up again.
"Okay. Wait a minute."
I waved my hand at him and slowly unfolded the paper.
But I couldn't write a single word, as if I had forgotten how to write. Drops of ink fell from the brush and spread across the paper.
As the paper turned black, my chest felt heavy, as if a stone was pressing down on it, and I felt breathless.
...I'll write later. It's not urgent.
I gave up, put down the brush, and rubbed my face roughly.
I know. Now that I've decided to live as a Martial Artist, I can't avoid death.
Even those called geniuses die young, and those called the strong lose their lives in grudges and resentments. There are no exceptions in this world.
The death of Madam Ma's son, which plunged her life into pain, is just one of the deaths that happen every day in Jianghu.
So...
Knowing that, his pain didn't feel like someone else's.
It's no different for me and the people around me. We've been lucky to survive so far, but we don't know when or how death will come.
The disciples of great Martial Sects and the Wanderer on the street are equal in the face of death.
If someone leaves my side, will I be able to accept the separation calmly?
Can I willingly give my life for my beliefs?
I thought about it for a long time, but I couldn't answer easily.
...I don't know.
I've never thought about being a chivalrous hero, and I don't have the confidence to live an upright life, sacrificing myself to protect my pride like the protagonists in novels.
I wasn't altruistic enough to sacrifice myself for others. Except for someone.
"I miss my brother."
I muttered and rested my chin on my hand, thinking of my big, stupid brother.
If Yeon-ryang was here, he would have said something.
I felt his absence keenly. With a gloomy face, I mumbled to myself and lay down on the table.
...I hope Yeon-ryang comes back soon. I don't like being alone.
The sound of the rain falling at regular intervals made my eyelids heavier and heavier. I blinked slowly and gradually let go of my consciousness.
39. The Mysteries of Tai Chi
Jeok-roe swallowed hard, watching his master's expression. His young master seemed to be in an even worse mood today.
Namgung Hwi, who had been silently exuding discomfort, tilted his head.
"Jeok-roe."
"Yes, Young Patriarch."
"I'm sure you bet your neck on it."
Namgung Hwi, who had been tapping the table, narrowed his eyes sharply and bared his teeth.
"It's been half a year and you still don't know where So-hye is? What do you think?"
Jeok-roe flinched at the chilling smile and hurriedly bowed.
"We'll find her soon, Young Patriarch."
"...Haa. I was stupid to trust you. What about the Lowborn Sect? Have they found anything?"
"Yes. They disappeared after distributing relief rice north of Gangneung for a few weeks in winter. They haven't withdrawn any money from the battlefield either. There have been sightings in nearby villages, but seeing as she was traveling with a Wudang Taoist, it doesn't seem to be Dang Sojeo."
"Why is a girl who was kicked out of her house taking care of other people's meals? Is she trying to be a bodhisattva or something?"
Namgung Hwi rubbed his forehead irritably, his face turning pale.
"Don't tell me she's converted to Buddhism..."
"That's unlikely. The Tang Clan has been regularly depositing silver into the battlefield account. They just haven't withdrawn it."
"Right? A Tang Clan Martial Artist wouldn't enter a temple. It's not like she's going to join Emei now."
"Can we even call Emei Buddhist? They claim to be doing it for the Buddha's grace while they're busy beheading people."
"Stop talking nonsense. But why haven't we heard anything? Is she hiding in a secret base? Or has she gone into secluded training?"
"It is strange. Unless she went into the mountains, there's no way we wouldn't have heard anything."
Jeok-roe scratched his cheek as if he was also puzzled. Namgung Hwi was silent for a long time, as if lost in thought, then asked Jeok-roe.
"Where did they distribute the relief rice?"
"Why are you asking that? What are you planning to order?"
"Go and distribute more relief rice in So-hye's name. Get the Beggar Clan to spread rumors too."
"Why?"
"Why? Are you asking because you don't know the reason? Why are you getting more and more incompetent?"
Namgung Hwi frowned and replied as if it was obvious.
"I'm telling you to impersonate her on purpose. So that So-hye will hear about it and come looking."
"Do you think she'll come just for that? You'd have to destroy a whole village for her to come and ask to see the face of the impersonator."
"Are you planning to spread rumors that someone's precious Young Miss is a bandit?"
"Yes, yes. I'd lose my head if I did that. I understand for now. But what if Dang Sojeo doesn't show up?"
"What do you mean, what if? Just keep your neck clean, Jeok-roe."
"...Ahem, ahem! Until when do we distribute the relief?"
"Until the Tang Clan has a reason not to abandon her. Spread some rumors about her being involved in the Golden Dragon Merchant Guild. If she becomes more famous than the Poison Demon, those old men won't be able to interfere."
"Yes. I understand."
Jeok-roe answered obediently and carefully broached the subject.
"Young Patriarch. I'm really just curious about this."
"What."
"What if Dang Sojeo doesn't remember you? What if she rejects you?"
"Jeok-roe, you have a talent for only saying unpleasant things."
"But isn't that the truth? The Young Patriarch isn't exactly a good marriage prospect. Starting with the fact that he has four sisters-in-law, he's just a pretty peach... Kweh!"
"Are you incapable of learning, or do you just want to provoke me?"
Namgung Hwi frowned irritably and clasped his hands together. He took a deep breath and parted his lips in a serious voice.
"I owe that girl a debt. If it wasn't for that puppy love back then, I wouldn't have even thought about opposing my father, even if I died and came back to life."
At the unexpected answer, Jeok-roe looked at Namgung Hwi with new eyes.
His master, who had gradually begun to rebel against his father, had recently been focused on building his own independent power.
He was reorganizing the Azure Dragon Sword Unit under the Young Patriarch's command, removing the people around him who were influenced by the Patriarch one by one, and distancing himself from his brothers, with whom he had been on good terms.
As it was an unconventional move, there was a great deal of opposition from the elders in the family. But Namgung Sang did not react in any way and silently watched his son's actions.
Jeok-roe couldn't help but worry that this would lead to a confrontation with the Patriarch. It wasn't a pretty picture to see a father and son at odds.
Jeok-roe swallowed a sigh and deliberately replied lightly.
"You're coming up with all sorts of reasons. Are you even rationalizing it? Just say you want to see if she's doing well. It's a serious case, that."
Namgung Hwi raised one corner of his mouth without a word, and Jeok-roe cleared his throat, averted his gaze, and closed his mouth.
"It's not rationalization. That child allowed me to break the greenhouse. Even if So-hye doesn't remember me, I have to repay that debt. That's the law of Jianghu. But..."
Namgung Hwi hesitated for a moment, then continued in a subdued voice.
"...Sometimes I wonder too. Seeing as my father and family were deliberately trying to deceive me, that child couldn't have been a figment of my imagination... But there's not even a trace of her."
"She's not a figment of your imagination. This Jeok-roe saw her clearly with his own two eyes."
Jeok-roe shrugged his shoulders and gave a teasing smile, then rattled off without taking a breath.
"Do you know how funny it was when the Young Patriarch first went outside Anhui and fell in love with a Young Miss, then insisted on taking her to the Namgung Family? He would climb over the walls of other Martial Sects every day just to see her face, and he was so nervous about going on a picnic together that he didn't even realize that a Young Miss who didn't know Martial Arts was getting close to him... Ah, I'll never forget him rushing to a stall to buy a hairpin to propose to her. The Young Patriarch's flustered face was the best. Also..."
"That's enough."
"See? She's not a figment of your imagination, is she? Stop pretending to be cool and just say you can't forget your first love, Aagh! Ack! Young Patriarch! I said use words, Eeak!"
Soon, a dull sound and Jeok-roe's scream echoed.
