42 - Pieces of the Broken Glass Slipper
Shattered Glass Slipper Shards, Chapter 42
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And turning my body, I returned to my seat, and before going to my mother's side, I did not forget to smile faintly at Margo, who was standing next to Roena.
It was fortunate that I navigated this situation, which could be considered a very dangerous gamble, so smoothly, reminding everyone, including Margo, in their minds that I had received Lavalliere's approval.
It seemed that cruel fate, which had sent me back here, still looked upon me favorably.
Thus, Lavalliere departed the Bishvarts Family amidst everyone's warm welcome. I watched the carriage moving away from the mansion until the very end before turning my steps.
Roena was standing to one side, sobbing sadly, saying this was also a farewell, and the head maid was diligently comforting her.
Then, she soon raised her eyes to look at me, her calm, settled gaze making it impossible to know what she was thinking.
The reason that old wildcat had been lying low silently was due to the shock from the punishment my adoptive father had given, as well as Lavalliere becoming my tutor and shielding them from scrutiny.
Indeed, they could not have believed or accepted it. That Madame de Lavalier, who could be called a lady among ladies, would teach the daughter of a lowly woman. And all the while she stayed at the mansion!
But not only had I received her approval, but in the end, I was even praised as lovely despite having been rude to her. Up until then, the only person for whom the word 'lovely' could come from Lavalliere's lips was Roena.
I stopped walking and met Margo's gaze directly. Then her eyes narrowed, and her brow furrowed slightly. It was an expression of displeasure, and I couldn't help but let out a hollow laugh at her actions, which revealed her unpleasant feelings towards me. To bare her claws and growl the moment Lavalliere left...
Therefore, I could not help but think. When should I plan the day to pluck the wildcat's fur and skin it? I passed them by, eagerly awaiting that day to come as soon as possible.
Then Roena called my name, "Sissae," in a murmuring voice. I quickened my pace as if I hadn't heard her.
That evening's dinner was quieter than usual. It was filled with such silence that Lavalliere would have been very pleased to see it. Even Roena ate with a gloomy expression, and everyone except my mother and me seemed to feel Madame's absence keenly.
After the meal, my adoptive father rose from his seat with my mother, and I was greatly relieved to see him naturally place his hand behind my mother's back to escort her.
My adoptive father's demeanor was still cautious and full of respect for my mother. My mother, perhaps sensing the warmth on her back, was leaving the hall with a much more relaxed air.
Next, I rose from my seat and returned to my room. Then I ordered Marie to bring a basket of warm white bread.
Marie looked a little puzzled but followed my instructions without complaint. The basket contained not only bread but also butter and jam to spread on it, along with a small knife.
I covered the basket with a cloth and placed it on the bedside table. Then I climbed onto the bed and, while receiving a massage from Seril, wished for dawn to arrive as quickly as possible.
The next day, I woke up earlier than usual. I think I woke up even earlier than the day I met Arina, that lovely girl.
I draped the shawl I had worn then over my shoulders again and picked up the basket I had prepared yesterday. The thought of the child who would be surprised to see me filled me with a strange excitement.
She delivers water, so she'll be here today too, right?
The path leading to the garden was damp with dew. The earthy scent wafted up my nose, but even that was welcome. Had I ever felt such joy and excitement about meeting someone?
I was greatly surprised by this small change that had come over me, and at the same time, I was delighted. In this moment, I felt like an ordinary Sissae, a girl enjoying everyday happiness.
Arriving at the place where I had discovered Arina, I briefly hid the basket in the surrounding bushes. It would have been fine to just hand it over, but I wanted to see the child's surprised expression.
How cute would her wide-open eyes be? And how lovely would her cheeks be, flushed pink by the dawn air? Just thinking about it was delightful. If she thanked me and held my hand, it would feel worth waking up this early.
After a little time had passed, I heard a rustling sound from behind me. Thinking it was Arina coming to admire the flowers, I turned around and shouted loudly.
"Arina?"
But what met my eyes was Sir Halberd, drenched in sweat and wearing a light shirt. He seemed to have stopped dead in his tracks at my voice, wiping sweat from his hand as he walked, perhaps returning from his morning training.
A heavy silence fell. I felt the smile on my lips slowly fade and quietly turned my head. Without having promised to meet again tomorrow, what expectation had brought me here to encounter him? I was so disgusted by my own misfortune.
It's truly laughable. I once longed for this so desperately, yet now I reject it. How amusing my own state has become. A terrible contradiction I could not bear made me feel nauseous.
Yes, back then, it was something I desperately, desperately wished for. That you and I would meet by chance like this and talk. That you wouldn't avoid my gaze first. That we could stand face to face, Sir Halberd, not just my back.
But now, I do not welcome such a meeting. I am merely bewildered.
Why is it you, Sir Halberd, and not Arina, who has met me?
I flinched as if feeling a chill. Clutching my shawl tighter, I bowed my head to him. Having already resolved to let go, I wanted no more coincidences. Above all, I had come out in light attire, thinking I would meet Arina.
My attire, so unsuitable for a meeting with a noble knight, enough to spark malicious gossip, was not just bewildering but downright embarrassing.
Trying to hide my cheeks, which were burning hot with shame, I quickly turned around. My reaction, startled and fleeing at the sight of Sir Halberd, was quite comical, but escaping this situation was the priority.
But his action came first. I was startled by the fingers of another person grabbing my wrist, by the unfamiliar warmth that touched me like fire, and my shoulders heaved. I couldn't believe it. A knight like him committing such rudeness. I began to feel breathless, as if I had run a long distance.
"Sir Halberd, my wrist..."
I whispered softly. Though he wasn't holding me tightly, I strangely couldn't shake off his hand. My legs stiffened, and everywhere except for the wrist held by his hand grew cold. Only my heart pounded like a drum.
Unbelievable. This can't be happening.
Tears welled up as if about to burst, and I bit my lip hard.
You shouldn't hold my wrist. Please let go.
I must not be caught by him. No, I could not be caught. I didn't understand, nor did I want to understand, why he was reaching out to me now.
Even if I receive 'pity' from everyone in the world, not from you, Lustewin Halberd. I would rather die than receive his sympathy. It was a power similar to Roena's pity, yet somehow different, but equally potent in piercing my heart.
Was my voice too quiet? Or was something more needed? By now, he must know he was committing a great rudeness, yet Sir Halberd remained unmoved, continuing to hold my wrist.
Gathering my courage, I pulled my hand towards me. Then his hand moved to follow mine. His gaze had been fixed on me from the beginning. I spoke again, in a louder, clearer voice, trying to act calm, desperately hoping my voice wouldn't tremble.
"Sir Halberd, please let go of my hand."
Wasn't it you, Sir Halberd, who wanted us to pass by as if we didn't know each other? Even if that was in the past, now that I've returned, I had every intention of granting your wish.
After all, you are Roena's knight. Just as before, now, and in the future, the probability of you being mine alone is extremely slim. So...
"Please..."
Please, look away from me.
"The dawn air..."
A moment later, Sir Halberd spoke, and simultaneously, the fingers holding my wrist began to loosen their grip.
"is very cold. So it would be best to dress more warmly."
Taking advantage of the loosening grip, I twisted my wrist free. His gaze fell intensely upon the skin where his hand had left a deep imprint. I quickly hid my hand behind my back and took a step back.
"And you, Sir, should show more manners."
"If I had, would we be able to meet and talk like this?"
For a moment, it felt as if my breath caught in my throat. My lips trembled, and my eyes darted restlessly. Unable to bear the confusion in my heart, I blurted out words hastily.
My voice trembled uncontrollably, and my tongue twisted as I stammered, but rather than feeling embarrassed by it, the thought of getting out of here quickly came first.
"Y-yes. Th-the wind is cold, as you say, Sir. That's why I don't feel well. So I, I..."
I turned to run away. Regardless of my dignity, I just wanted to get as far away from him as possible.
But perhaps I was too flustered? My legs gave way as if I had stepped on a slippery stone, and I stumbled forward.
I closed my eyes tightly, unable to brace myself for the imminent pain as I fell towards the dirt ground before me. As I tensed my entire body in preparation for the pain, the first thing I felt was the firm embrace of an arm around my waist.
"The only things you show me are a sorrowful face or dangerous situations like this."
I felt a ticklish breath against the nape of my neck. From behind me came the solid body of a man, exuding his masculine scent.
My shawl had fallen to the ground, so the other person's body felt surprisingly bare through the thin fabric. Thus, I could only gasp for breath, unable to utter a single word.
I had no idea what situation I was in, or what Sir Halberd was doing to me.
I didn't understand, nor did I want to understand, why he was kneeling before me and dusting off my clothes, or why he was looking at me with those eyes. Everything was just confusing.
"Are you alright, Miss?"
I wish it were a dream. Then I could have kept it to myself, thinking I still harbored feelings for you, and not shown you this side of myself. Why, of all times, were tears flowing now?
I resented myself deeply. Why was my heart, which could easily be harsh to everyone, so lenient only towards you, Sir Halberd? No matter how much I thought about it, I couldn't understand.
Why are you showing me this side of yourself only now that you've returned? It's too cruel.
My reddened eyes felt hot, as if burned. The tears streaming down my cheeks were like an unbroken stream.
I lowered my head and stared blankly at my toes peeking out from under my soiled skirt hem. The drops falling onto them felt strangely like someone else's, and I found myself smiling. If Sir Halberd hadn't been standing before me, I would have forgotten my own predicament and laughed out loud.
