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Translator: Vine
Chapter: 32
Chapter Title: What Do I Do Now?
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“I feel like I age ten years every time we have a shoot.”
“Agh.” Hae-yeong groaned, sinking onto the sofa for a moment. Yeon-joo, who was tidying up and hanging clothes on a rack, chuckled softly.
“You must be tired, Director Jin. You got home late yesterday, too.”
“I had a broadcast yesterday, too. The ratings aren't even that good, so why do they film for so long? It was so exhausting I thought I was going to die.”
“Aigoo…” As Hae-yeong let out a deep, scraping sigh, Yeon-joo raised her eyebrows. It wouldn't be an exaggeration to call Hae-yeong a workaholic, and Yeon-joo felt a little concerned about her relentlessly busy life.
*She's always been like that*, she thought, but then she felt a pang of sympathy, imagining how empty Hae-yeong's home must feel when she returned alone, dragging her exhausted body home after work.
“It must be a bit lonely when you go home, Director Jin.”
“Hey, who has time to be lonely? I'm too busy just tossing my clothes off and passing out. I didn't even take my makeup off before I fell asleep yesterday.”
She really had a strong mentality. When Yeon-joo laughed again, telling herself she'd worried for nothing, Hae-yeong made a slightly goofy face and let out a sheepish laugh.
“Oh, right. Director Jin.”
“Hm? What is it?”
“By any chance, have you ever told anyone that Han-byeol doesn't have a father?”
“Me? No. Why?”
Hae-yeong's eyes widened as she denied it. Yeon-joo waved her hand, saying it was nothing.
“No, it's just… I want to keep the fact that Han-byeol doesn't have a father a secret, if possible.”
When preparing Han-byeol for his debut, Yeon-joo had removed his date of birth from his public information and settled on the stage name "Han-byeol," without a surname.
Thinking it was for the child's privacy, Hae-yeong nodded without another word.
“Okay. Well, if that's what you think… Ah.”
As Hae-yeong let out a sound as if she'd just remembered something, Yeon-joo swallowed nervously. Hae-yeong narrowed her eyes, searching her memory, and then spoke.
“At the Jeonju set, the head makeup artist asked, and I think I might have said something then.”
“Ah… I see.”
“But Yeon-joo, you don't have to worry. She's not the type to care about other people's business. And she's definitely not one to go around gossiping. If you're really bothered, I can give her another heads-up.”
“No, it's fine. I'm not worried about her.”
Thinking she was done now that she'd asked Hae-yeong, Yeon-joo turned away. She was about to go back to organizing the clothes when Hae-yeong's words stopped her in her tracks.
“I wonder if Im Eun-seong heard? He was outside at the time.”
Her eyelids, suddenly heavy, slowly lowered and then lifted again.
“No. He couldn't have heard. We were speaking very quietly. No, no, he didn't hear.”
“Right.”
“Besides, why would Im Eun-seong even be interested? Anyway, I'll be more careful with my words from now on.”
Yeon-joo watched Hae-yeong readily agree to be careful, and a faint, clouded smile touched her lips. Once again, her heavy eyelids rose and fell.
*Now his words made sense.*
*It's not that you don't want to show me, it's that you don't have a husband, isn't it?*
*He must have heard.*
*
In the afternoon, Mr. Joo visited the set and began training the German Shepherd. Filming was scheduled to start soon, so he was intensely focused on the final safety training.
The shepherd's name was "Rookie." The dog understood commands well, so Mr. Joo rewarded it with small treats and occasional pats.
Ah, Im Eun-seong the actor appeared on set. Mr. Joo pretended not to see him, focusing only on petting Rookie.
Meanwhile, his manager Dong-hwan unfolded a chair, and Eun-seong sat down. The distance between them was quite close.
“It's been a while.”
When Eun-seong greeted him first, Mr. Joo turned his upper body to look at him. He gave a silent nod instead of a verbal reply, keeping his words to himself.
He had told a massive lie, and he felt that prolonging the conversation would only hurt him. He didn't want to worsen the situation with any more mistakes. He was being cautious, worried he might slip up and put Yeon-joo in an even more awkward position.
“Will the happy couple be heading home together after the shoot?”
At Eun-seong's question, Mr. Joo lifted his head again. As he glanced around, Eun-seong raised a hand and added.
“I'm only asking because no one's around. You said it was a secret, after all.”
“Yes. We'll be leaving together. Because we're a married couple.”
Mr. Joo replied forcefully, his tone defiant. Eun-seong nodded. He fiddled with a script he had no intention of reading, then cast a languid gaze at Rookie.
“It's fascinating how you teach an animal that can't understand words.”
“It's not like all humans can understand each other, either. Any living creature with a heart is bound to think, and once you share those thoughts, it becomes possible.”
After giving Rookie a small treat, Mr. Joo let out a long sigh. He then glanced at Eun-seong.
He stared at the script in his hand for a moment before casually tossing out a remark.
“I find you more impressive, Im Eun-seong, acting according to a script. I wonder just how well one must act to become an international star.”
“Because I dedicated my life to being a good actor.”
“…”
“I gave up my life, I gave up love, and spent all my time traveling the world, living a life someone else created for me.”
*Gave up my life. Gave up love.*
“After sacrificing all that, it would be sad if I wasn't good at it, wouldn't it? Don't you think?”
A chill emanated from the way he tapped the script resting on his thigh. His brief explanation, as if crushing a sprawling life into a single fist, felt strangely desolate.
“Look, your wife is here.”
At Eun-seong's words, Mr. Joo turned his gaze. The two men sat side by side, watching Yeon-joo move about, collecting another actor's clothes.
The pile of clothes grew quickly, and as she struggled to carry them, Eun-seong spoke abruptly.
“As you know, working in the wardrobe department, before you gain experience, is less a skilled trade and more manual labor.”
“…”
“It's hard work, so please take care of her. Your wife must be very tired.”
“I'm already taking good care of her. I'm not so neglectful that someone like you needs to worry about my wife.”
“This thing about acting, Seonsaengnim.”
Eun-seong, who had been looking down at his script, turned his head to face Mr. Joo.
“There's a common misconception. Acting isn't about deceiving others.”
“…”
“It's about deceiving yourself. Only when you yourself believe it completely can you produce a truly realistic performance. If you try to deceive others before yourself, it all falls apart quickly. Because when humans lie, it shows.”
Mr. Joo's Adam's apple bobbed as he swallowed dryly. Just then, Eun-seong spotted the director waving from a distance and stood up.
Dong-hwan, who had been waiting nearby, rushed over to fold the chair. Eun-seong smiled toward Rookie and continued.
“It's something you might not even get right after dedicating your whole life to it. How could it possibly be that easy?”
“…”
“Anyway, it was interesting to watch. Keep up the good work.”
Mr. Joo bit his lip hard.
*
As filming progressed through repeated takes and the cameras rolled relentlessly, Ju-mi assisted Eun-seong with his fittings from start to finish.
Ju-mi monopolized Eun-seong's fittings for the entire day, not leaving a single opening, so Yeon-joo spent her time handling other miscellaneous tasks.
Being away from Eun-seong was actually a relief. At this rate, she wouldn't have to face him directly until filming for the movie was over.
*Yes. It's better this way.*
Yeon-joo neatly filed away her thoughts and accepted the situation.
Before long, filming wrapped up for the day. Yeon-joo collected the jackets that were piled haphazardly on a box. After sorting them by size and meticulously checking for any stains or damage, she grabbed the clothing rack.
Her work for the day would be done once she smoothed out the wrinkles and organized everything, but she expected to be the last one to leave.
The sound of the wheels rolling was dull. With a large plastic bag in one hand and the rack in the other, she walked down the deserted hallway.
“Hey, you.”
She stopped dead.
Not daring to turn around, she stood frozen as Eun-seong approached. He snatched the bag from her hand and strode into the waiting room ahead of her.
As Yeon-joo followed him in with the rack, Eun-seong suddenly locked the door. Startled, Yeon-joo's eyes widened.
“What are you doing, locking the door? Someone could come in.”
“Agh, I finally get to see your face.”
Eun-seong muttered as if he had been waiting for this very moment, sending a quiet ripple through Yeon-joo's heart.
“Who the hell is she, anyway? Showing up out of nowhere and pawing at me all day.”
“Who? Ju-mi?”
When Eun-seong asked in a disgruntled voice, Yeon-joo shrugged.
“She said she's here to take good care of you, Baeunim. That's all I know.”
“Hah… 'Take care,' my ass.”
Knowing full well it wasn't Yeon-joo's fault, Eun-seong trailed off with a short sigh. Just then, they heard the sound of someone trying to open the door.
The doorknob rattled against the locked door, and Yeon-joo's mouth fell open. Eun-seong, taking off his shirt, opened the door a crack.
Ju-mi was standing there.
“What is it?”
“Oh? You were here, Baeunim? I can take your clothes…”
As Ju-mi tried to slip through the gap, Eun-seong blocked her. She was getting on his last nerve.
“I didn't say you could come in.”
“What? Ah… yes. Then I'll go finish tidying up on set, Baeunim. Please change comfortably.”
As Ju-mi backed away, Eun-seong gave her a dry look before slamming the door shut. Hearing Ju-mi's hurried footsteps fade away, Yeon-joo finally let out a long breath.
*My god.* She instinctively brought a hand to her forehead.
“Why are you doing this? You're just making things awkward for me.”
“Should we talk with the door open, then? If that's less awkward for you, we can do that.”
“N-no! That's not what I meant!”
As Eun-seong acted like he was about to throw the door wide open, Yeon-joo grabbed his arm. Realizing she had grabbed the shirtless Eun-seong's arm, she jumped back in surprise.
“Just how long are you going to keep up this ridiculous lie that Mr. Joo is your husband?”
“…”
“Your effort was so commendable I considered watching a little longer, but I'm so pissed off I can't stand it. A man's got to sleep, doesn't he?”
Finally unable to hold back any longer, Eun-seong demanded an answer. Yeon-joo hesitated for a moment, then lowered her gaze and opened her lips.
“That's my point. Just stop paying attention to me.”
“What did you say?”
“Why are you so interested in my life? It's uncomfortable, so I had to lie. I wanted to show you I was doing well. I don't have a husband, and I was too embarrassed to say it. Happy now?”
“Why would that be embarrassing? Is raising a child on your own something to be ashamed of?”
“Yes. I can hold my head high in front of everyone else. But in front of you, Baeunim, I'm ashamed. I'm really, truly ashamed, okay?”
Her face contorted with rising anger as she looked up, her eyes blazing.
“I'm already mortified to be doing grunt work as the youngest on the team at my age, but I also don't have a husband, and I've even brought my son to the set. What do I look like to you? Do you think I have no pride? That's why I did it. What. So what. Is there a problem?”
“Ha. Look at you. I'm glad I asked, or this would have gotten out of hand.”
“So just lose interest! I have my dignity to maintain, and I have pride I want to protect. Do you think I like being here? Can't you just, just, pretend you don't know? Would it kill you? Do you really have to dig all this up and confirm whether it's true just to feel satisfied?”
“Yeah. I do.”
His immediate retort silenced Yeon-joo. Eun-seong slowly closed his eyes, then opened them, rubbing his temples.
“I have no desire to watch this fake couple act just to protect your pride. It drives me insane.”
“But why? What about it makes you so upset?”
“Because I can't forget you.”
Yeon-joo's eyes lost focus, her gaze turning vacant.
“If you don't tell me the truth—that you don't have a husband—there's nothing I can do.”
“Wh-what? What are you talking about?”
She felt sweat bead at her hairline. Her heart was racing, and each beat felt painful.
Pressing his throbbing temples, Eun-seong forced his eyes open wider.
Then, he straightened his posture slightly and his lips moved.
“You heard me. Why are you asking? Should I say more?”
“I have no idea what you overheard to be acting like this. Just laugh at me openly, why don't you? Tell me I got what I deserved after ghosting you to live a better life. Just look at the state I'm in now…”
“Am I in any position to laugh at the life you've lived? I'm the one who got dumped spectacularly and still hasn't gotten over it. I go half-crazy every time I see my ex-girlfriend, who now has a child of her own.”
“…”
“What exactly am I supposed to be laughing at?”
*Ten years since we broke up.*
To take away. To erase. Wasn't that the duty and principle of time?
They say that's the nature of time. That's why everyone says time is the only medicine.
So what in the world has our time been doing for the past ten years?
“I don't care how you ended up alone or why you're taking on this junior role. My only interest is the fact that you're alone right now. That's it.”
*Maybe, just maybe, that was it.*
The world was moving too fast. It didn't have the luxury to take us with it, two naive souls lost in a breakup.
*So maybe it just left us behind and moved on.*
“Baeunim…”
“I said I can't forget you.”
Staring at him as he hammered the point home again, Yeon-joo was utterly lost for words.
It felt as if dark red blood was surging through her expanding veins, about to burst. Unable to bear it any longer, she slowly closed her eyes.
“So you tell me instead.”
The past holds regret, the present holds questions, and the future holds anxiety.
“What do I do now?”
*Damn it.* *What a sad, pathetic life this is.*
