16 - Never Let Go of a Black-Haired Dad

Episode 16. Don't Call Yourself a Thug Unless You're Dating a Hundred People (4)

"Your aunt was like this when she was your age."

I wanted to block my ears because I hated hearing it, but my aunt's voice was so loud that blocking it with my hands wasn't enough. I should go to the Bureau of Legislation later and borrow some earplugs.

"Your aunt had perfect table manners when she was your age and didn't make a sound with her silverware! She didn't even make a crunching sound when she ate cereal!"

Didn't Mom just like soggy cereal?

I didn't want to hear any more nagging, and I didn't feel like eating any more breakfast, so I put water in my mouth, gargled it, and spat it out the window.

My aunt screamed when she saw that.

"Pisswi!"

"If you like Mom so much, why don't you go live with her now?"

"How can I live with my dead aunt?"

"I'll bury you together in the imperial tomb."

"Pisswi!"

Ugh, I've lost my appetite. I should use Emily as a sacrifice and run away.

I was about to leave Emily to guard against my aunt and run away, but the dining room door burst open and Choco came in. My official guardian's cousin, the brown-haired man who had been unfairly dragged into the imperial palace, delivered urgent news to me with a cheerful expression.

"Your Highness! Ehehehe! It's an urgent message from Ende Kiron! Eheh! Something terrible has happened!"

You're laughing too much for something you say is terrible, aren't you?

When I pointed that out, Choco even shed a few tears and asked for my understanding. He said it was the first time he'd ever seen Ende looking so rotten.

"Th-that woman who lives in the Empress's Palace! She tried to attack Ende and failed and got caught! Ehehehe! That bastard is making a fuss, telling me to bring Your Highness quickly!"

Now that I think about it, she's been quiet since I got her a new lover, so I forgot about her. Since the idiot is about to die, she's doing her best to switch over. She's really working hard.

"Where is she? Bonini will go there directly."

"It's the bedroom the former Emperor used to use! That's probably why it was easy to break in!"

"Lorowi has a strong stomach."

If it were me, I wouldn't be able to use the bed that idiot used because it's too dirty.

Well... Lorowi doesn't know the situation in the imperial palace, so he's just using the bedroom that's there.

When I go, I should give him some advice on moving the bedroom and living in the imperial palace.

Judging from the fact that he rolled around on the battlefield and spent a long time in prison, I can't expect him to know anything about the customs of the imperial palace.

✦ ✦ ✦

I had a servant tell him that I had arrived and entered the bedroom, where a woman who was practically naked was tied up with ropes. Lorowi was standing in front of her, chain-smoking with a rotten look on his face.

"Cough!"

The room was so full of smoke that I coughed out loud, and Lorowi stubbed out his cigarette on the bed sheet, and my aunt ran around opening the window.

Wow! Stubbing out a cigarette on the bed is really cool and thug-like!

Awesome! I've never even imagined living that kind of life!

Lorowi, you're good at living in a barracks!

When I looked closely, I saw that he had taken off his pajamas, unbuttoned the front of his shirt, and was sitting on the bed with his shoes on, and his thug-like aura was no joke.

How can a person look so naturally like a bad guy? Totally cool!

I hid the excitement in my heart and calmly greeted him.

"What's going on from the morning?"

"What should I do with this woman?"

Ah, you called me to ask about that.

Well, according to the imperial family's laws, the child between that woman and the idiot should be killed, and the woman should be sent back to her family home, but... this is a problem between men and women, so it's subtly complicated.

She tried to attack him, so if Lorowi crossed the line in his sleep, she should be treated as a lover...

"Hey, you eunuch bastard!"

Seeing the woman who used to be the idiot's lover acting like that, it seems like he didn't cross the line.

But anyway, a eunuch.

Our Lorowi, he was a eunuch...

"Abba, are you a eunuch?"

"How did Lorowi raise you to understand the word 'eunuch' at your age?"

"Hey! I'm not the culprit! I only said the word 'eunuch' about twenty times in front of Pisswi!"

Thank you for your confession based on facts, Aunt.

As the three of us were chatting, Choco laughed so hard he almost collapsed and started defending Lorowi.

"Ende isn't a eunuch. He just tends to not see anyone but himself as human."

"If not a person, what does he see them as?"

"Um... chimpanzees or pandas? People don't have loving feelings for animals and kiss them, do they?"

"Choco, I can't understand your words."

"You'll understand if you live together even if you don't like it."

Well, that's true too. As long as we don't kill each other, we have 15 years left to live face to face.

I nodded and thought about how to answer Lorowi's question.

Let's see, according to the imperial family's laws...

"If you like the woman, you can take her as a lover, but because her status is low, she can't be the Empress. The idiot's bloodline must be killed just in case."

"Wait a minute, Your Highness! Trimuti is innocent!"

You're a creature who can use honorifics to me. I didn't know that in my past life. I'm having a truly precious experience.

"Deal with it as Pisswi says. Let's move the breakfast to another place."

"Your Majesty! No! Your Highness, please save me! How could a lowly person like me have such rebellious thoughts! I will take Trimuti back to my family and have her continue the family line!"

Ah, that's the thing. Even if you don't have that intention, the people around you do.

Even though I'm the only legitimate heir, there are tons of guys who try to cut me down whenever they have the chance, so what would happen if the idiot's bloodline was alive? Of course, the guys who hate me to death would be burning with the desire to support that Trimuti or whatever her name is.

I've decided to live recklessly, but I don't want to see some bastard who isn't a noble heir messing up the imperial palace.

"There's also a way to brand her as a traitor, remove her reproductive organs, and then let her leave the imperial palace."

"How is that different from dying!"

It's like heaven and earth, you idiot.

At least you're alive. Living is always better than dying.

I racked my brain, but I couldn't think of any other way. I looked at my aunt to see if there was anything else. But my aunt just shook her head.

"Drag her out."

"You son of a bitch! You eunuch bastard! You guys who wouldn't bleed if you were stabbed! May all the Kisomalos be cursed!"

There are three people here who decided to do that, so why are you only cursing the Kisomalos? Besides me, it's Kiron and Lorowi.

I was so dumbfounded that I was about to retort, but my aunt picked me up, buried my head in her chest, and covered my ears tightly.

No, this is also absurd. Your mouth is worse than that normally. Where are you pretending to be clean?

"Ugh, how unlucky from the morning."

Choco, who still had a silly smile on his face even though he was in a bad mood, brought warm water, saying that he had to wash away such dirty words.

While Lorowi put on a coat over his clothes for the meal and Choco was washing my ears with delicate hands, my aunt smiled for some reason and acted friendly with Lorowi.

"Hey. I didn't like you at first, but you listen to our Pisswi well. You have some good points after all?"

"I didn't do it to please Lorowi."

"You're shy, you little bastard!"

When my aunt tried to put her arm around his shoulder as a sign of friendship, Lorowi made a rotten face again and slapped her hand away. It was only natural that my aunt, who had been rejected, was furious.

"Hey, I'm saying I acknowledge you! Why are you being so stubborn!"

"Anyway, Lorowi, you blockheads."

"What, you bastard?"

Calm down, Aunt. Our Lorowi has a grudge against the Lorowi.

I wondered if he had forgotten the family he was trying to destroy with his own hands, but since it was my aunt, I thought he might have forgotten.

I whispered to my aunt.

My aunt made an unpleasant sound because it tickled her to have me talking in her ear, but she frowned as if she had understood everything in the end.

"I've fought so many times, how can I remember them all?"

I thought so.

Since it was when Lorowi was young, it must have been during the time of the previous head of the Lorowi family...

My grandmother must have been behind Kiron hitting him and trying to bury it in history. My aunt is just someone who does what she's told.