Chapter 81
<81> My Dear Teacher Laura (3)
"Over the past decade, I've witnessed countless marriages between couples of vastly different social standing and backgrounds end in unhappiness. It's truly unfortunate. Couples who unite solely for economic reasons also face regret, but because they had no initial expectations, they resign themselves to it more quickly. In contrast, couples who marry only for love are severely damaged. They suffer a double blow, with no practical benefits to offset their emotional disappointment. Eventually, they come to despise the very person they once loved so dearly."
Laura took a breath and continued.
"Miss Fairfax, if what I'm saying offends you, feel free to disregard it. However, when you make the most important decisions in your life, please remember it. And observe those around you. How many couples who abandon all practical considerations and marry only for love truly live happily?"
Olivia had never heard Laura express her opinion at such length. But what was truly astonishing was Laura's demeanor during her speech. Her face was serious, her voice firm, and her eyes were calmly composed. There was none of the gentle demeanor she usually displayed.
However, after finishing her opinion, Laura quickly reverted to her usual kind teacher persona. She smiled and said,
"Now, then, let's return to a more practical topic. You mentioned reciting French poetry to your friends earlier? Please recite it for me as well. Pay attention to your pronunciation and breathing."
Olivia recited the poem as Laura requested and received some pointers on her enunciation. However, Olivia didn't fully absorb her feedback. In fact, she was lost in thought throughout the recitation. The teacher's earlier words kept swirling in her mind.
It was a very practical story. Olivia was almost filled with respect when she realized how well her teacher understood the situation.
As soon as her lesson with Laura ended, Olivia went straight to her mother and recounted the earlier conversation.
Mrs. Fairfax was about to scold her daughter for meddling in her uncle's marriage affairs. But when Olivia continued with Laura's perspective, she fell silent.
"Isn't it funny, Mother? The teacher's parents were so reckless that they eloped to have her, yet the teacher has the opposite view of her parents. What do you call that? Irony?"
"That's not irony."
"Why?"
"Because it's only natural for the teacher to have a realistic awareness of marriage. She's likely paid the price for her parents' mistake her entire life."
Olivia didn't quite understand her mother's words.
"Price? Do you mean she was treated like Judge Anderson's illegitimate daughters?"
"Yes."
"Oh, come on. Even if the teacher is illegitimate, how dare anyone treat a daughter of the great Pendleton Estate like that..."
"It wouldn't have been exactly the same as Judge Anderson's daughters. After all, she's a Pendleton, so they wouldn't openly spit on her. But being gossiped about and ostracized would have been the same as Judge Anderson's daughters. The more high-society a place like London is, the more subtle and sophisticated the bullying becomes. Poor thing. How much heartache must she have endured spending her youth in such a place?"
"So, even knowing my uncle's feelings, will she reject him?"
"Miss Pendleton is smart enough to learn the ways of the world from her own misfortune. She's likely learned throughout her life: Never forget who you are. Never overstep your bounds."
Mrs. Fairfax frowned and muttered after a moment of thought.
"Olivia, congratulations. It seems unlikely that your uncle and the teacher will end up together. Just as you wished."
* * *
That evening, Olivia pondered her conversation with her mother throughout dinner. Unlikely. Her mother, who was usually so optimistic, said their union was unlikely. Then it must truly be difficult.
That conclusion strangely divided Olivia's heart into two parts.
The self-centered and childish Olivia in her heart was greatly relieved by this matter. Wasn't it fortunate that Miss Pendleton, who had the worst possible conditions as a marriage prospect for her uncle, was so aware of her place? If Miss Pendleton had such a strong resolve in her heart, she would not accept her uncle's feelings and would remain only as a governess. For Olivia, it was the best news she could hope for.
But within the self-centered and childish Olivia lived another Olivia. A kind and compassionate Olivia. The kind and compassionate Olivia was feeling something entirely different.
She felt sorry for the teacher.
Olivia stopped the hand that was scooping soup and looked at Miss Pendleton. She was eating her soup, sweeping the bottom of the plate as if she were painting. She was as elegant as ever, to the point of being mesmerizing.
Olivia had always wondered why such a woman had to work as a hired hand. Now the question was resolved. She was ostracized from society and excluded from the marriage market due to her birth.
'If only the teacher's parents had had a proper marriage, none of this would have happened.'
Olivia thought to herself. A sense of regret, which she had never felt for Judge Anderson's illegitimate daughters, washed over her.
In fact, over the past month, Olivia had known, though she hadn't admitted it to herself, that she was a good person. A kind, sincere, and intelligent person. She had looked at her with a thorny gaze due to jealousy, but in the end, she had no choice but to admit that Laura was a good person.
And that such a teacher had the stigma of being an illegitimate child, like the Anderson daughters, and had been pointed at like those spinsters. Throughout her ten years or more in society. Olivia couldn't help but feel uneasy about that fact.
The next day, during their French lesson on the garden bench, seeing the teacher speaking to her so gently, the pity in her heart seemed to explode. Without realizing it, Olivia blurted out,
"Teacher, don't you resent your parents?"
"My parents?"
"Because of the mistake your parents made, you're suffering various disadvantages. Isn't that so?"
"That's true."
Laura nodded calmly.
"If I had parents like yours, I would definitely feel wronged."
Laura looked at Olivia. The pity for her was evident in Olivia's dejected gaze. Laura smiled. And she put her hand inside her dress, near her neckline. Soon, a pendant necklace she was wearing inside her clothes came out.
Olivia looked at Laura with a puzzled expression. Laura took out the pendant she was wearing around her neck and opened the lid. Then she showed it to Olivia. Olivia looked inside the pendant and was startled.
"Is that a painting of you, Teacher? Oh, no. The eye color seems different..."
"That's my mother."
"...You look exactly alike, Teacher!"
"We look very similar, don't we? Except for the gray eyes I inherited from my father, I inherited my mother's appearance exactly. When I became an adult, I tried on the dress my mother wore as a young woman, and the measurements were exactly the same."
"Amazing. Wow..."
Olivia stared at the painting for a moment. She was a beautiful woman. Dazzlingly beautiful. Just like Laura in front of her.
"This painting was secretly painted by my father when he first met my mother."
Olivia looked up at Laura. Laura was smiling.
"My father first visited the Pendleton Estate to paint a portrait of my grandmother in the year he turned twenty-one. He saw my mother that day and fell in love at first sight. But because it was an impossible relationship, he steeled his heart and focused only on his painting work. My grandmother cherished my mother very much and always kept her by her side, even when painting the portrait. During the portrait work, my mother always sat by my grandmother's side, embroidering. My father would glance at my mother's figure and sit in his room, capturing the image of my mother he had in his heart. In such a small form."
Olivia listened intently to Laura's story. It was romantic. More so than any melodrama she had ever seen.
"But the painting was nearing completion, and my father had to prepare to leave. He couldn't delay it. The promised date was less than a month away. So, on the day he had to do the final coloring, my father completed the painting of my mother alone in his room. The image of my mother that he would put in a pendant and always wear close to his heart. But that night, a maid came to my father's room. She was the maid who attended to my mother. She gave him a piece of paper. My father unfolded the paper. It was written like this: 'If you can't take your eyes off me so much, run away with me.'"
Olivia felt a chill run down her spine.
"Wow, that's amazing. And then?"
"The two of them ran away together the very next day. But my uncle, upon learning of this fact, instead of reporting it, immediately released people to search the area. My uncle probably thought that if he caught them quickly, he could retrieve my mother without it becoming public knowledge. But the two of them had already become husband and wife in front of a priest."
"So, Teacher is..."
Olivia couldn't finish her sentence. She couldn't bring herself to say the word 'illegitimate' in front of the teacher. Laura said the words that Olivia couldn't say instead.
"Yes, it's ambiguous to call me illegitimate. But marriage requires procedures. As Miss Fairfax knows, you need an officially issued permit, and the marriage must be registered in the Church of England's list of members for the marriage to be recognized. Moreover, at my mother's age at the time, parental consent was also required for marriage. But my father had just come from America, so he didn't know the situation, and my mother was afraid that my uncle would track her down and take her away, so she wanted to quickly become the wife of the man she loved."
Olivia listened to the teacher's story without taking a breath.
"In the end, the two of them had a marriage that had no legal effect and lived as husband and wife in hiding. They planned to go to Gretna Green, where they could have a secret marriage, and have a formal wedding ceremony when the surveillance eased. But my mother suffered from morning sickness and the flu, and long-distance travel became impossible. Eventually, my mother fell ill and gave birth to me, and died in the process."
Olivia stared blankly at her teacher. It was a more tragic ending than any melodrama she had ever seen.
