Chapter 80
Love of Laura, the Teacher (2)
"Mom, I know what you're going to say. Maybe I'm being a bit snobbish. But Mom, reality is reality. The Dalton family children will be pointed at. Look at the reality. Look at the situation of Judge Anderson's daughters."
Judge Anderson, whom Olivia was referring to, was the eldest son of a gentleman's family that had been around for nearly 150 years, a member of a family that had been respected for generations. However, his licentious nature had thrown the reputation he had inherited into the gutter. He had been keeping a mistress in the neighborhood for 20 years, living a double life.
He had three daughters with his mistress, and the mother and daughters were famous in the neighborhood. And this disgraceful fame did not translate into popularity.
No family invited them. No family interacted with them or sent them a single letter. Even the workers didn't want to work at their house. Moreover, their family members were banned from the church. The Anderson daughters had reached the age to enter society, but they were living as if confined to their home.
"Yes, Judge Anderson broke the oath he made before God and betrayed his wife. And the Anderson daughters are paying the price for their parents' lack of virtue."
"That's right. No one wants to marry those daughters. They know that the family's immoral disgrace will definitely affect their reputation. And it's obvious that their children will be pointed at too. Even the son of a small mill in the neighborhood avoids women with dubious origins as potential wives. So, why would someone like our uncle marry a bastard? What does our uncle lack?"
Mrs. Fairfax quietly looked at her daughter.
"You're talking about reality, Olivia, and yes, you're right to some extent. If Ian and Miss Pendleton get married, Yorkshire will be buzzing for a while. There will be a lot of talk about her lineage, and if a child is born, they will be talked about too. But I've never thought it was right to ostracize people like that. Whether it's the Anderson daughters or Miss Pendleton, it's unreasonable for the sins of the parents to be passed down to the children. And that thought is one of the few things that Ian and I have in common."
"So, you're okay with Uncle being pointed at because of his marriage to the teacher?"
Mrs. Fairfax shrugged.
"You have to pay the price to get what you really want."
Olivia was speechless. She knew that her mother was different from other ladies from time to time. She didn't obsess over social events or her children's education like other ladies. The only times she was anxious and clinging to something were when it came to her uncle's marriage or strange hobbies like tarot card readings.
But the strangest thing about her mother was this detached way of thinking. Olivia was sensitive to the words exchanged in the community around her, and she was quick to collect and accept them immediately. That's why she often felt bewildered when she talked to her mother.
At that moment, footsteps were heard from the living room. Quiet footsteps. Just by the sound of the footsteps, she knew who it was. Mrs. Fairfax quickly gathered the velvet cloth that had been spread on the table for the tarot card reading and threw it behind the sofa.
"Miss Fairfax. You're here? Did you enjoy your time with your friends?"
Laura entered the living room and asked Olivia kindly. Olivia nodded with a look as if she was holding back a hiccup.
"Come out and talk to me for a while before dinner. I'm curious about what kind of people Miss Fairfax's friends are."
That was a suggestion to make up for the French lesson that she had missed because she had gone to the party today. Olivia obediently followed Laura into the garden. And as usual, she sat on the bench and told her about the event that had taken place today in French. Of course, she left out the stories about Laura.
Laura listened attentively to Olivia's story and applauded her, saying that there were no mistakes in her grammar. Olivia was embarrassed but felt very good and proud. Since Laura had come to Dunville Park, Olivia's French skills had improved dramatically. Both Laura and Olivia felt it.
"Everyone was surprised today. They asked when my French had improved so much, and if I had gone to France without them knowing."
"You must have been happy."
"Yes."
"It's all thanks to Miss Fairfax's will. You can be proud of yourself, Miss Fairfax."
Olivia was silent for a moment.
"Teacher."
"Yes, Miss Fairfax?"
Laura looked at Olivia with eyes as gentle and pure as a lamb.
"Were you popular in London?"
"I don't know."
"Didn't you have any men proposing to you?"
"Are you curious about that?"
"Yes."
Laura was lost in thought for a moment. In fact, she had received many offers of courtship, more than most. But they were mostly impure. Players who wanted to make her their mistress had been constantly tempting her.
Even the purer proposals were only from old gentlemen who had noticed her disadvantageous situation and were trying to seize an opportunity. They were not very honorable attentions.
"I wasn't very popular in society."
"But you're very beautiful."
"Thank you for saying that, Miss Fairfax."
Laura replied politely. But Olivia hadn't brought up the story to hear a thank you.
"Actually, if you made up your mind, you could get married as much as you want, right? Shall I introduce you to someone? There's a doctor who often visits our family when we're sick. He's very kind and smart. Or, there's a young tailor at the clothing store where my mother sometimes gets her clothes made. He's very handsome. He's so popular among women. He'd be perfect for you."
Laura wondered why Olivia was suddenly so interested in her marriage. That curious feeling soon activated her sensitive senses.
"Miss Fairfax, have you heard any stories about me?"
Olivia closed her mouth. Her face was full of embarrassment. Laura soon grasped the situation roughly. She must have met someone who knew her when she was in society. Or, she had heard it from Mrs. Fairfax.
She must have heard about her birth and, feeling sorry for her, kept listing potential grooms who would be suitable for her. It wasn't very helpful, but Laura was grateful for Olivia's heart.
"I know there are many stories about you. But still, there must be someone who suits you."
"I think it would be wonderful if I could get married too. To meet a man I love, and have children. But Miss Fairfax, I want to continue this life a little longer."
"Why?"
"Because I'm very satisfied with my current situation."
Olivia's eyes widened. Olivia couldn't understand how someone who had lived without lack in an aristocratic family could feel satisfied working as a governess.
"I don't know how long it's been since I've lived so comfortably and rewardingly. I want to maintain this state for a while."
"...Even if someone proposes to you? For example, if a very well-off gentleman proposes to you?"
"That's not going to happen, but even if it did, I'd have to refuse. I'm not worthy of such a person, and it's clear that my lineage would lead to bad consequences."
Olivia couldn't easily believe those words. Frankly, Olivia believed that if Laura received an offer from a wealthy gentleman (like her uncle), she would definitely get married. That was the only way for the teacher to return to her former decent status and affluent life.
Olivia began to coax Laura, intending to get her to confess her true feelings.
"But you have every chance of being loved by such a man. You're very beautiful and very cultured. Not all men in the world choose a wife based only on practical value. I've seen many marriages between people of unequal status in countless books and articles. They get a wealthy spouse just by having charm. Wouldn't that be possible for you too?"
Laura looked at Olivia with a lukewarm expression, far from being tempted. But Olivia didn't notice it and squeezed her imagination to paint the most romantic fantasy.
"Imagine. A man with a huge Estate falls in love with you at first sight. He sends you all kinds of jewels and flowers, and comes to pick you up in a white carriage with servants. And he takes you to a beautiful villa on the coast of southern France or Italy. There, he tells you to live forever without worrying about reputation. Yes, let's live abroad. You can live without being pointed at if you're abroad. Isn't that right, Teacher?"
"It's a nice imagination, but Miss Fairfax, you'd better stop talking."
"Why?"
"Because such imaginations are useless. It's not helpful for a lady to indulge in such daydreams."
Olivia was surprised and lost her words. It was the first time the teacher had spoken in such a definitive tone.
"Miss Fairfax, if I ever get married, I won't deviate even an inch from my station. Nobles and landowners should marry flawless noble maidens who are suitable for them, and someone like me should marry a middle-class man."
"But, if you only love each other..."
"No. That's not true, Miss Fairfax."
Laura shook her head firmly.
"Marriage is a combination of human beings. Olivia, you don't know what that means yet. Love is not such a strong emotion for humans. It can't even prevent immediate economic discord or the pointing fingers of society, or even the minor conflicts that are inevitable when two people raised in different environments live together. Human emotions are sweet, but they are like custard cream that can easily spoil if not stored properly, not a sword and shield that help you fight against realistic problems. Perhaps, when Miss Fairfax is my age, you will know that fact even better than I do."
Olivia listened to Laura's words with a bewildered heart. It was the first time someone had spoken so coldly about marriage.
