Chapter 130
#<Episode 130>
“I regret the unhappiness you must have felt. It seems it would have been better if we hadn’t met.”
“Don’t say that.”
“It’s the truth. We once shared beautiful feelings, but as a result, we had to live uncomfortably for 12 years. Moreover, it left an indelible scar on Mrs. Ashton. If I hadn’t been there, you might have been able to love Mrs. Ashton.”
He looked at Laura with a desperate expression. Laura’s voice was sympathetic, but there was no lingering affection for him.
“Laura, was our love just ‘once’ for you?”
“It’s been 12 years already. Can that love still be ‘now’? That’s abnormal.”
“So, I must seem abnormal in your eyes.”
New tears welled up in his eyes.
“There hasn’t been a day that I haven’t thought of you. Even when I was with my wife, I wished the person by my side was you. I’m sorry to my wife, but my heart has never left you.”
“Have you never thought that was a sin?”
“I told you, I was sorry to my wife. But a man can’t forget his first love. Especially a man who loved a woman like you. Laura Pendleton, do you know how beautiful you were at seventeen? How gentle, pure, and kind you were. Losing you was the biggest mistake of my life.”
“But you chose your family over me. Don’t misunderstand. I’m not saying that decision was wrong. I’m just saying that you can’t undo a choice you’ve already made. You want to go back to 12 years ago and choose again now. After enjoying all the benefits you could get from one choice. That’s selfish. And above all…”
Laura continued calmly, so calmly that it felt cold.
“You’re not in my heart. 12 years ago, waking up alone in Hyde Park, my love melted away in the sunlight.”
He looked dazed.
Laura could feel that he was deeply hurt. But this was a clear fact. John Ashton was the same as he was 12 years ago, but Laura could feel nothing for him but a little pity.
“Really?”
Laura nodded.
He hung his head and covered his face with both hands.
“Unbelievable. I was sure you felt the same way… I believed that even though we were far apart, our hearts were still turned towards each other. That’s why I thought you were waiting for me without getting married…”
“It’s not that I didn’t, it’s that I couldn’t. My reputation was ruined by my relationship with you.”
“Is that why you hate me? Is that hatred so great that you don’t love me anymore?”
“The biggest reason I don’t love you anymore is time, John.”
Laura sighed softly.
“It seems like staying any longer will only hurt you. I hope you overcome the pain soon. That would be good for Cecilia too. Cecilia needs a good stepmother.”
Laura got up from her seat. But then, John Ashton suddenly raised his head.
“Don’t lie. There’s another man in your heart.”
Laura looked at him in surprise.
“Ian Dalton. You love him, don’t you? That’s why you’re rejecting me?”
Her cheeks flushed red.
“I’d rather not include his name in our conversation.”
“How can I not? This is clearly a love triangle.”
He glared at Laura with eyes full of pain.
“Ian Dalton. A major landowner in Yorkshire. The heir to a noble family that has been around since the Tudor dynasty. I know everything about him. I investigated him thoroughly when he offered to be my legal representative. He’s quite a man. Enough to steal your heart. A prince on a white horse compared to a blacksmith’s son who is ridiculed for succeeding thanks to his in-laws.”
“Calm down. People outside will hear.”
“Laura, tell me honestly. Do you love him?”
“That’s not something I need to confess to you.”
Laura’s voice trembled.
His brow furrowed. His violet eyes, as beautiful as violets, looked red with burning jealousy.
“I knew it the day I first came to visit you. When I warned you about his danger, you defended him. That was it. The reason your love for me withered was all because of Ian Dalton. Are you dreaming of a happy ending with him?”
“That’s not true.”
Laura’s emotions began to rise as well. She couldn’t stay calm once Ian Dalton was brought up.
“I thought you were a sensible person in my memory, but you’ve changed over time too. Do you think you can be happy if you marry him? Have you not considered the inherent gap between you and him? What can you gain from dreaming of a marriage that will only make both of you unhappy?”
Laura’s lips turned blue.
“I don’t want your advice.”
At Laura’s cold tone, he laughed, “Ha.”
“It’s better to wake up from your fantasy. Countless upper-class people call me in and have me write prenuptial agreements. Marriage is just a business to them. Even if Ian Dalton has fallen for you, he’ll be embarrassed if you actually accept his proposal. Because he’ll have to give the mistress-class woman a place in his house.”
In an instant, Laura’s mind went blank with anger and humiliation.
How dare he say such insulting things. How dare he.
If Mr. Dalton was the kind of person Ashton described, he wouldn’t even be friends with a woman like her. That’s how far above her Mr. Dalton was.
But he threw everything in front of her. He begged for love on his knees, and he soaked his clothes with tears.
Ian's love was a love that transcended convention. A love so dedicated that it felt pure.
Laura felt an unbearable contempt for John Ashton, who had insulted Mr. Dalton's heart.
“How can you say such hateful things?”
“I’m telling you the reality, Laura. Come to your senses and choose a man who suits your situation.”
“I know my situation better than anyone. A poor, old maid with parents who are pointed at. But his love for me is genuine. The most regrettable thing in my life is that I’m not in a position to reciprocate his love. In comparison, not being with you is just the loss of a cherished hat.”
John Ashton’s face turned white with shock. Laura continued to shout.
“Don’t look for me again. Even if I can’t be with Mr. Dalton, I will never accept your heart!”
She stormed out of the room.
When she came out into the living room, she saw Mrs. Chelsea and Cecilia sitting on the sofa. Mrs. Chelsea was sewing, and Cecilia was reading A Study in Scarlet next to her.
“Miss Pendleton!”
Cecilia jumped up from her seat. Her pale face flushed and her eyes sparkled like stars.
“Come quickly. I’ll tell you who the culprit is in this case.”
Laura walked stiffly towards Cecilia with a rigid face.
“I’m sorry, Cecilia. I can’t come to play anymore.”
“…Why?”
“I’m leaving Bath.”
“You’re leaving Bath?”
The child’s face contorted as if she was about to cry.
“Why? You said you’d be here until spring.”
“That’s how it turned out. I have to go now. Goodbye.”
The child grabbed the hem of Laura’s skirt.
“Miss Pendleton, then… then, stay for just one more hour before you go. I’ve been practicing the piano so hard to play for you…”
“Yes, Miss Pendleton, stay a little longer, how can you leave so suddenly…”
Mrs. Chelsea chimed in, but Laura shook her head.
“Goodbye, Cecilia. I will always pray for your health.”
Laura snatched the hem of her skirt from the child’s hand and ran to the door.
“Miss Pendleton! Laura Miss Pendleton!”
She heard Cecilia’s sobbing voice behind her. But Laura didn’t hear it.
She rushed out of the hotel. And, just as she was about to leave the entrance of the Pulteney Hotel, she realized that she had left her coat in the room. She also realized that her wallet was in her coat pocket.
Instead of returning to her room, Laura began to walk towards the Lorelei Hotel. The wind, which had been pleasant just a moment ago, felt like a whip.
But Ashton’s words hurt Laura more than the wind.
He insulted Mr. Dalton’s sincerity and character.
‘I should have slapped him before I came out.’
Laura’s stomach was churning. If he had only insulted her, she could have acted calmly. But insulting Mr. Dalton was something she couldn’t tolerate.
As she walked angrily through the shopping district, she suddenly saw herself reflected in a shop window. Her face was red with anger in the cold weather, and she was biting her lip.
It was like looking at someone else.
The only face Laura had ever seen in the mirror was a gentle and calm expression. She had never seen such an agitated and distorted face.
The heart that had been burning with anger calmed down in an instant.
The wind shook the hem of her thin Silk Dress and passed by. While shrinking her body, Laura looked at her heart through the mirror of reason, as if reflecting herself in the shop window.
She was angry not only because of the humiliation. It was resentment towards the person who had poured cold water on her hope.
She had been thinking about her conversation with Miss Rotis often lately.
Humans are born for love. Foolish love is also love. It is a miracle for two people to become one.
As she pondered those words, Laura thought that perhaps she, a humble woman, could bring him happiness. The belief that humans cannot live on love alone remained, but the two would not become poor if they married. So it was not a reckless marriage.
Above all, Mr. Dalton loved her with his life.
Just accepting his love could give him satisfaction. Furthermore, if she loved him endlessly, that alone could fill his life completely.
Laura was more confident than anyone else that she could love Mr. Dalton diligently. The uncontrollable love overflowing in her heart was ready to devote itself to him.
But just now, John Ashton’s words had poured cold water on Laura’s hope.
Laura felt as if she had been punched hard in the solar plexus by an invisible fist. The heart that had been filled with hope suddenly turned cold.
His logic was the realistic thinking that she had always held as a creed. But now, reality had become a whip that broke her courage.
‘It’s as if my past self is warning me through John’s mouth. Telling me to wake up from my dream and see reality.’
Laura shook her head.
‘But I’m different from before. I can no longer ignore my heart by considering reality. It has become impossible to live as if I have no emotions, freely covering the lid of my heart. I love him. Ah, there is no way to reverse this feeling!’
