Translator: Nox

Chapter 129

#<Episode 129>

“Cecilia, what book were you reading today?”

At Laura’s question, Cecilia, who was being held around the waist, raised her head to look up at Laura.

“<A Study in Scarlet>. Mrs. Chelsea lent it to me.”

“Ah, the famous Sherlock Holmes series. I’ve never read a single volume. Is it interesting?”

The child smiled brightly.

“Yes. It’s so, so interesting. You should read it too, Auntie.”

“Auntie doesn’t read detective novels very well. Consuming scary events as entertainment feels a bit cruel to me. But if it’s a story Cecilia enjoys, I can listen. Will you tell me what you’ve read?”

Cecilia smiled broadly and took Laura’s hand, leading her to the sofa. Laura handed her coat to a servant and sat close to Cecilia.

Cecilia began to tell the story of the meeting and adventures of the cynical private detective Sherlock Holmes and the gentlemanly former military doctor, Dr. Watson. Laura listened attentively, sometimes laughing and sometimes asking questions.

Seeing Laura focused on her story, Cecilia’s eyes sparkled with joy.

As the story was unfolding in an exciting manner, the bedroom door opened, and Mrs. Chelsea came out. She held a bucket, a towel, and a razor with the blade folded in, as if she had just helped Mr. Ashton shave.

“Oh, Miss Pendleton, you’ve arrived.”

The woman smiled brightly with delight.

“Hello, Mrs. Chelsea? How much better is Mr. Ashton?”

“Rejoice, Miss Pendleton. Mr. Perry, who came for a house call today, said that he can go out as much as he wants now.”

“Really?”

“Yes. Go in quickly. He’s waiting for Miss Pendleton.”

Laura turned her head to Cecilia.

“We’ll finish the rest of the story later.”

Cecilia looked disappointed but nodded obediently.

Laura rose from the sofa and moved towards the bedroom.

The bedroom window had its curtains wide open, letting in the harsh spring sunlight. He was sitting in a chair at the tea table, waiting for Laura.

Neatly styled hair and a cleanly shaven chin. A face without a single scar and a dark green dressing gown covering his robust physique. He looked so neat that it was hard to believe this man had been a patient.

“Laura, welcome.”

He smiled brightly. His intelligent eyes, containing violet pupils, curved into crescent shapes, and his captivating red lips curled up in a soft curve. Deep dimples, always wonderful to see, were etched into both cheeks.

Laura bent her knees slightly in a curtsy and approached to sit across from him.

“Mr. Perry said you can go outside now. Isn’t that practically a full recovery?”

“That’s right. I can do anything except strenuous exercise like cricket or boxing.”

“That’s a relief, really.”

Laura said sincerely with a smile. His improvement was welcome news. It meant she could now put down the burden she felt about him.

He looked at the smiling Laura with a gaze as if she were dazzling. He always had the same expression when Laura smiled. A face as if he were looking at a precious sapphire that emitted light from hundreds of angles.

“I wouldn’t have recovered so quickly if it weren’t for you. I really want to repay you.”

“I only stopped by occasionally to show my face.”

“That’s not true. You became Cecilia’s friend. If you hadn’t been here, our little one would have been bedridden with grief. Then I would have been too worried to focus on treatment. I owe you a debt that can’t be repaid with a thousand pieces of gold. So please, let me repay you.”

Laura shook her head, once again feeling that he was a good father.

“If you do, I’ll have another burden on my heart. I’ve continued my visits because I knew I’d feel heavy-hearted if I avoided your request. Now you’ve fully recovered, and my heart is as comfortable as it used to be. So don’t pay an undeserved price and make my heart heavy again.”

He gave a bitter smile.

“Then, what can I use to hold you back?”

Laura blinked.

“I know you won’t come again now that your duty is over. Cecilia will be lonely. Cecilia has never had someone like you. She will definitely feel the void.”

“Now that you’ve regained your father, Cecilia will be fine.”

He looked at Laura with a desolate gaze.

“Then… what about me?”

“……”

“What do I do now?”

The thought, ‘Here it comes,’ flashed through Laura’s mind.

He had been careful in his words and actions every time Laura visited. He didn’t bring up old stories, nor did he excessively praise her or show affection.

But Laura had been feeling it. The way he always combed his hair neatly, shaved, and waited for her with good-smelling skin lotion, even as a patient. The way his expression brightened whenever she appeared. The hopeful look in his eyes as he watched her getting along well with Cecilia.

He wanted to rebuild the bridge that had been severed twelve years ago.

‘What am I to him? Does he see me as a fool who has been waiting only for him, even after being betrayed?’

Laura’s expression calmly sank.

“You are young. And you are a capable and wonderful man. You will surely meet a woman who will love you. A woman who will be a good mother to Cecilia.”

“Laura.”

“I’m so glad you’ve recovered. Send me a letter once before you leave Bath. I’ll come out to see you off. Then.”

Laura rose from her seat. At that moment, his arm gently grabbed Laura’s hand.

“Are you leaving?”

“To say goodbye to Cecilia. I’ll explain it well to the child so she understands.”

“Why don’t we go out together for dinner later? It’s almost six o’clock…”

“I have a dinner appointment with friends. I’m sorry.”

Laura said politely and tried to push his arm away. However, he didn’t let go of Laura.

“If this is the last time, give me a moment. Five minutes. Just five minutes. There’s something I need to tell you.”

“What is it?”

“Why I didn’t come to pick you up twelve years ago.”

Laura stared at John quietly. He was looking up at her with an almost pleading look. It was exactly the same face he had when he asked her to run away with him twelve years ago.

Laura thought. Perhaps he had sincerely loved her. If so, it was even stranger. Why hadn’t he come? Why had he abandoned her for twelve years without any explanation?

‘If today is the last day with this man, I want to hear the reason.’

Laura slowly sat back down in her chair. And she neatly folded her hands on her lap.

“Speak.”

* * *

John Ashton vividly remembered the events of twelve years ago. The hope and anticipation he felt while packing his luggage in the trunk. The excitement he felt while waiting for the chartered Four-wheeled carriage he had called to pick up Laura.

And the bewilderment he felt when he was kidnapped by Mrs. Chelsea’s henchmen, who poured out of the Four-wheeled carriage that arrived instead of the chartered carriage.

That night, John said he had been confined to a remote villa until dawn. It was a hellish time. Laura would be out in Hyde Park by now. She would be waiting for him to appear, wondering if he would come. How anxious she must be. How desperate. How disappointed.

Unable to rush to Laura’s side immediately, he said he had even felt like dying.

Morning passed, and it became noon. Someone came to the room where he was confined. It was John Ashton’s parents.

His patron, Mrs. Chelsea, had kidnapped her ward to guide him back to the right path, as he was trying to marry a woman with a terrible reputation, and then called his parents.

The two of them cried and begged. They even threatened to die if he married Laura. He tried to resist, but he couldn’t abandon his father, who suffered from various illnesses due to a lifetime of hard physical labor, and his mother, who was exhausted from feeding and clothing nine children.

In the end, he chose to marry the wealthy woman that Mrs. Chelsea had introduced to him.

“…After the marriage, I couldn’t love my wife. I’m sorry to her, but Laura, you were always in my heart. She knew of your existence. She must have heard the rumors that spread in London. Our marriage was always a war. She tried relentlessly to erase your memory from me. She would wake up before dawn to dress up and tried to match with me in everything. Then, suddenly, she would get angry and throw things. She called me a hypocrite and a philanderer.”

Guilt cast a shadow over his face.

“She said I called out your name in my sleep. That I became dazed whenever I saw a woman with savings account hair. I wasn’t even aware of it, but my wife was always watching me, so she easily noticed. Her early death is all my fault. She hated me and hated you, and eventually, she hated herself. She thought she wasn’t attractive enough to make me forget my old love. She loved me. So she couldn’t bear the fact that I couldn’t be completely hers. Her mental illness ruined her body, and when she contracted tuberculosis, she couldn’t overcome the disease and went to heaven.”

His eyes faintly welled up with tears.

“There are several reasons why I couldn’t explain my situation to you for twelve years. I was ashamed to face you, and I was afraid that my father-in-law wouldn’t forgive me if he found out. But most of all, it was because I felt sorry for my wife. Reconnecting with you, even through letters, would be the same as having an affair.”

A tear rolled down his cheek.

Laura listened to the story quietly. Although she appeared detached, Laura’s mind was filled with various thoughts.

Knowing that he hadn’t intended to make a fool of her, she felt sorry for him. He had to give up love for his family. He had to live an unhappy married life with a woman he didn’t love for twelve years. On top of that, his beloved daughter was weak and he was always anxious about her.

But pity didn’t transfer to other emotions, such as affection, protectiveness, or love.

In her head, she felt sorry for him, but her heart couldn’t pity him.

He had been indecisive.

If he couldn’t betray his family, he should have been faithful to that decision. He should have driven out the woman he could no longer have from his heart and loved the woman who had become his wife. If he had, Mrs. Ashton wouldn’t have died. And Cecilia wouldn’t have had to lose her mother.

Laura felt great pity for Mrs. Ashton, whom she didn’t even know. How frustrated she must have been, living with a husband who was just an empty shell. He had even come to find his old love without even taking off his mourning clothes as soon as the funeral was over.