Chapter 109
<109> The Worst Night (4)
"…No."
"Look at me when you say it."
Laura swallowed a sigh and turned to face him. His dark eyes were fixed on her, as if piercing through her.
'God, forgive my lies, and help my words appear truthful to him.'
"No."
Her prayer was answered. His face crumbled with deep despair.
"So that's the crux of it. You don't love me. You can't feel anything beyond friendship. Yes, if you loved me, you wouldn't care about the wagging fingers of society. No, knowing my heart, it would be impossible to be so detached. Yes. You don't love me. I understand perfectly now."
Laura sighed inwardly. She had succeeded in deceiving him.
'Now he'll give up on me. No gentleman continues to harbor affection after being rejected so harshly. Maybe he'll even hate the sight of me.'
Laura could foresee the end of their relationship. It was terribly heartbreaking, but she consoled herself, thinking it was inevitable.
However, Mr. Dalton suddenly reached into the breast pocket of his tuxedo jacket. And he took out something angular from within.
"Miss Pendleton, you once said that friendship is more suitable for maintaining a marriage than passionate love. That love invites excessive desire, and when it's not satisfied, disappointment and hatred sprout. At the time, I disagreed with you. But, on second thought, a marriage based on friendship might not be so bad."
Laura felt a sense of foreboding. The small box in his hand clearly evoked something.
"Miss Pendleton, we can live as a friendly couple, like friends. If you wish, we can even have separate bedrooms. I will share everything in the Dalton family without expecting anything in return. So."
With a click, he opened the small box. A diamond ring emitted a dazzling light, revealed before her eyes.
"Marry me, Miss Pendleton."
Laura was speechless, as if something was stuck in her throat. It was surprising, absurd, ridiculous, and even a little frightening.
Why was he proposing to her again after such a harsh rejection? What was he lacking?
Laura felt dizzy looking at the delicately cut facets of the diamond. Judging by its size and setting, it was clearly a wedding ring passed down through the family.
"Mr. Dalton, I'm sorry, but would you please put that away?"
He didn't move. Laura tried again.
"Forgive me for speaking so harshly. Would you please put this ring away?"
"I cannot."
He spoke distinctly.
"Over the past few days, being ignored by you, I have realized desperately that my life depends on gaining your love. If I am separated from you, I will slowly die in hellish pain. To avoid death, I must win your affection."
His voice was filled with desperation. She looked at Ian's complexion again. From his pale face shadowed, she could tell that he had suffered greatly over the past few days.
He looked pathetic, desperately begging for her love.
That's why Laura was so pained to be in a position where she could only say this.
"I'm sorry, Mr. Dalton. I cannot marry you."
His eyes wavered. His beautiful dark eyes filled with tears, becoming mournfully wet.
He said in a choked voice.
"If I lose you, I will die. I won't be able to sleep, I won't be able to eat, I won't be able to take care of the Estate, and I'll go to heaven longing only for you forever. Even so…… even so, will you abandon me?"
Laura forced herself to nod.
He dropped his head as it was.
Laura could feel deep heartbreak in Mr. Dalton's demeanor.
Laura's heart ached. She hated herself for causing him such great pain.
'I have to say something to comfort him.'
Laura tried to think of something to say to offset his pain. But nothing really came to mind. According to him, he was in the same situation as someone who had received a death sentence.
Laura deeply considered whether to give him some hope that they could continue their friendship.
But suddenly, he pulled out the ring. And he grabbed Laura's left wrist.
"Ah!"
Before Laura, lost in thought, could even defend herself, he quickly slipped the ring onto Laura's ring finger.
"What……!"
He stared intently at Laura. His eyes, brimming with moisture, had a blind light.
"I can't let you go. You must marry me."
In his voice, there was a stubbornness like a boy who wouldn't let go of the hem of a precious person's clothes.
"……Don't do this. Please let go of my arm so I can return this ring to you."
"The moment I let go of your arm, you'll take off the ring. If that's the case, I'll hold you like this forever."
"Even if you hold my arm forever, the answer you want won't come from my mouth. Even if I'm dragged before a pastor and forced to make a marriage vow, the only answer I'll give is 'no'."
"Really?"
His hand holding Laura trembled faintly.
"No matter what happens, you'll say 'no'?"
"Yes."
"Even if I die?"
Laura's eyes widened.
"The moment you take off this ring, I'll immediately find a pistol and shoot myself in the head. Whether you run away, or say 'no' at the wedding vows."
"……Are you…… serious?"
"Yes."
Laura's face turned white.
He covered Laura's left hand with both of his hands, pressing down gently.
To some, Ian's actions might seem like a dramatic courtship. But to Laura, he just looked like a child throwing a tantrum to get what he wanted.
Laura was angry that he was acting so immaturely. What was she that he would risk his life, which was more precious than anything? What was she, really?
Laura snatched her left hand away from him. And.
Slap!
She slapped him across the cheek with all her might.
He blinked, his face turned to the side. He felt a burning pain on his right cheek, and the taste of blood spread in his mouth.
He slowly turned his head and stared at Laura. This time, Laura raised her right hand. She pulled her hand back behind her shoulder, and with a sound of cutting through the air, she slapped him across the cheek again.
Slap!
His left cheek burned.
His whole face was numb. Especially his left side, which had been hit so hard that his lip was split.
But he was more surprised by the fact that Laura had hit him than by the pain. He couldn't imagine that Laura could resort to violence. It was like encountering something that transcended the laws of nature, like a dog smoking or a lion juggling.
He, who had been out of his mind, gradually came to his senses. That's how shocking Laura's slap was.
"I'm really disappointed, Mr. Dalton. You're threatening to take your own life just to get affection? Aren't you ashamed as a citizen of a Christian country?"
Her voice was clearly reproachful.
Laura's reaction stung his heart, but he wasn't truly ashamed of his actions. He was that desperate. He couldn't think of any other excuse to hold onto her.
He returned to being the usual gentle Ian Dalton and wiped the blood flowing from his mouth with the back of his hand.
"It was an action deserving of your contempt. But my heart remains the same. I cannot live without your love. Even if I don't physically end my life, if you leave, I will fall ill and die young."
"Get a grip. You're not the protagonist of a melodrama."
Laura retorted coldly.
"It feels like you'll die soon if you lose love. Your heart is torn and you can't find any meaning in life. But it's temporary. No one dies because of love."
"There are countless people who lose their lives from lovesickness."
"That's only in cases where they enjoy their state of dying from love and ruin their health to the point where they can't recover. Or, in cases where they feel like they've lost everything and their future is bleak, so they take their own lives. Either way, it's equally foolish. To throw away a precious life for an emotion that will be forgotten if you eat well and live a busy life."
"How can you underestimate the emotion of love like that?"
"Because the world overestimates it. Love is a luxurious emotional indulgence. It's just an illusionary shell, like a Rococo watercolor. Love doesn't prevent bankruptcy, a tarnished reputation, or the inconvenience of life. If I had ever seen love that overcomes everything with my own two eyes, I wouldn't be so assertive."
Ian frowned. She seemed to be talking about universal love, but in reality, she was devaluing her own emotions.
"I understand why you say that. I know you've been hurt since childhood because of your parents. But please don't be skeptical of love itself. We won't repeat history. We'll be a legitimate couple, and the children will inherit the Dalton name. And, my love will never change."
"The very act of uttering the word 'forever' is proof that you're living in a dream, Mr. Dalton. I am Laura Pendleton. An illegitimate child born before marriage. A stain that tarnished a prestigious family. My children will have to hear gossip because of me. The Dalton family name will be a shield to some extent, but my son will go to public school and hear insults about his mother, and my daughter will be classified as a flawed young lady in the marriage market because of her mother's existence."
"If that bothers you so much, let's not have children."
"What about the heir?"
"It's okay not to have one."
"You have an obligation to produce an heir. As the eldest son of the family, if you've inherited all the wealth, you should naturally fulfill your obligations as well. And above all, won't you hold me after we get married?"
It was the first time such a direct story had come out of Laura's mouth. Mr. Dalton's face turned red.
"As I said before, if you want, we can have separate rooms……."
"Judging by what you just showed me, you're the type to break down the door to my bedroom within a month of marriage."
Laura sighed.
"Let's stop this wasteful argument. Let me get to my point. I will never marry a member of the landed gentry, even for the sake of my future children. I will gratefully accept your kindness. I will also cherish our friendship as a precious memory. But that's it."
Laura took off the diamond ring that he had forced on her and held it out to him. He stared at the ring blankly.
The ring he had put on her had returned. His love had not been accepted by her and had been returned. His chest ached.
He obediently received the ring and put it in the case.
"What happens to us now?"
