I Married the Dragon I Killed
Chapter 108
The strike had ended, and the dispute was resolved.
The series of incidents that had unfolded in Hestia Village were, for the time being, settled.
While things might have been resolved for the people of Hestia Village, for Ferda, many more problems remained.
‘The return of the demons.’
In the end, the prediction made by Bernard Wayne, the Chancellor of Escoleia, had been correct.
The survival of Gokma, one of the men once known as the Seven Malignant Stars, had been confirmed.
‘And he is strong.’
The sheer volume of mana visible was not that immense, but its depth was extraordinary.
The ability to create a sub-space with the simple swipe of a finger.
The power to distort and destroy a designated location with a single snap.
All of it surpassed Ferda’s current capabilities.
‘If I face him again, could I actually win?’
Ferda reviewed the moves at his disposal.
He processed the data he had gathered while observing Gokma.
He simulated the battle hundreds of times in his mind.
‘The win rate is practically a decimal point.’
Even that prediction of victory was based on the assumption that an unexpected miracle would occur.
Furthermore, the virtual Gokma was measured only by the level of power he had displayed so far.
If they fought in earnest and the man revealed his hidden cards, Ferda had no means to counter them.
No matter what he did, Ferda’s probability of victory converged toward 0%.
‘I must become stronger.’
He needed the power to reach a higher realm and crush him.
‘But is that even possible right now?’
He had a territory now, and he had to coordinate everything under the Archduchy.
If he became busy, he would only get busier, and the more he worked, the more his training as a mage would be neglected.
‘Perhaps it is precisely at a time like this that I should train even harder.’
But if it were only as easy as it sounded.
The Red Circle fundamentally moves according to the turbulence of emotions.
It is said that love and hatred are but two sides of the same coin.
There was a reason the word "love-hate" existed.
If he fell into a corrupted heart, he would slide down the path of hatred he knew all too well; only through vigilance and perseverance could true growth be achieved.
‘But even so, how much stronger can I truly become?’
He had a lantern, but it was woefully insufficient to illuminate the entirety of the fog.
Ferda did not know what lay ahead on the path he walked.
‘What if I… used that power again instead?’
The Red Circle that ran on rage.
That was a path Ferda knew, and he knew exactly how to walk it.
With that power, he might be able to suppress someone like Gokma with ease.
It was a possibility.
Then, as if waking from a trance, he shook the thought away.
‘…I’m really being backed into a corner.’
To think he was actually contemplating such a foolish idea.
That power must not be conjured under any circumstances.
In the end, was it not the very emotion that had killed Valdroba?
He must never believe he could control it.
Ferda had lived under that delusion for ten years in his past life.
Ferda moved on to the next thought as if fleeing.
‘Then, is it a matter of means…?’
A staff imbued with mana, or scrolls inscribed with magic circles.
Or perhaps byproducts created through Magical Engineering could serve as his tools.
‘The one I used to use was….’
The staff known as the ‘Sixth Element.’
An ultimate armament he had obtained after a week-long battle in the Tomb of the Immortal King.
‘That isn’t something I can use.’
It was a Relic of the Immortal King, who had been a public enemy of the continent in the era before the Dragon-Demon War.
Back then, Ferda was alone anyway and was little more than a heinous criminal, so it didn’t matter whether he used it or not.
If it only affected his own reputation, it wouldn’t matter, but it was an act that would put Valdroba at risk.
‘Still, there is something comparable to it.’
The branch struck by the Lightning of the Heavens.
The item given to him for his contribution during the monster incident in Halim.
He hadn’t shown it to anyone in particular and had set it aside for a while.
If he crafted a staff with this, he would be able to wield the powerful pure force of the Lightning of the Heavens.
‘But it won’t be easy to make.’
It was only natural that the higher the power and efficiency of a spell, the higher the difficulty of the craft.
A hundred years ago might have been different, but in the generation Ferda lived in, there were no enchanters or blacksmiths skilled enough to withstand the Lightning of the Heavens.
The dwarf village in the southwest wouldn't even handle a Witch's belongings, and if he asked an elf, they would show hostility as if he were mocking them.
‘I’ll just have to persuade the dwarves.’
He hoped that if he kept at it, they would eventually make it for him.
While he was lost in thought, a visitor arrived.
Knock.
Knock.
The knocks were spaced far apart.
The door opened cautiously, accompanied by a sound that seemed to lack confidence just from the listening.
“Ferda-ssi? Are you busy?”
A fearsome dragon’s head appeared.
It was Valdroba.
“No. It’s fine. Do you need mana?”
“Yes, today as well….”
“Understood.”
They were familiar enough that deep conversation wasn't necessary.
She wore the Dragon Knight Armor, which stood well over two meters tall.
The only place exposing skin was her right hand.
Ferda placed his hand against hers and began injecting his mana.
‘It’s warm, as expected.’
The mana seeping into her chest calmed her restless heart.
She had felt it many times, yet she wanted to feel it many times more; it made her feel so at ease.
Perhaps that was why she momentarily forgot the very reason she had come here.
‘This isn’t why I came!’
The reason Valdroba had come here and taken up Ferda’s time was that she had made a grand resolution.
‘I want to be the one to choose the topic of conversation today.’
Wasn't that why she was continuing this routine?
As it happened, there was something she was curious about.
‘What does Ferda-ssi think about the Armor Knight?’
Her heart fluttered.
Come to think of it, it was no different from asking what he thought of her.
‘Let’s ask.’
Valdroba suppressed her pounding heart and managed to open her mouth.
“Fe, Ferda-ssi!”
“Yes.”
“Um… Ruri mentioned something recently….”
Her pronunciation slipped and wavered.
Because of the voice modulator, it reached Ferda’s ears like a mournful echo.
Ferda responded calmly.
“What did she say?”
“Well… that the person called the Armor Knight… played a huge! Pa, part…!”
She ended up biting her tongue, and her momentum died instantly.
“I, I heard….”
“Ah, that person.”
Ferda seemed surprised.
He didn't know why she was suddenly curious about that.
Valdroba suppressed the truth that threatened to burst out of her mouth.
“I heard from Ruri that he’s someone who… cares for the village very much.”
“That is true.”
It was true.
Hearing those words, her anxious heart soared with surprising excitement.
“Is it really?”
“In the beginning, when we didn't have the support of Halim, his strength played a major role. Thanks to him, we were able to put up many buildings much faster.”
“I, is that so?”
He thinks I was helpful.
A sense of pride welled up within her.
“At first, I was worried he might be a rebellious insurgent….”
“And?”
“It turns out I was mistaken.”
Her voice held a glimmer of hope.
“Does that mean he’s a good person?”
“He is a good person, certainly.”
Valdroba felt like she could spread her wings and flutter away right then and there.
“However, he seems to have many problems.”
“…Huh?”
That feeling was short-lived.
As high as she had soared, it was time to fall.
“The man seems quite foolish.”
“Foo, foolish?”
“Even when he participated in the council this time, it was obvious he was being swayed by people. He doesn't seem particularly bright.”
“That’s….”
“To wear knightly armor and keep a Vow of Silence, the written word should be more important to him than anyone else, yet his handwriting is a mess, and he can’t even follow basic grammar….”
“…….”
“A fellow like that is bound to have his life ruined if he meets the wrong person. I was actually a little worried.”
“…….”
Ferda glanced at her hand.
“Are you alright?”
“…Ye, yes?”
“Your hand is bright red.”
Her hand, which had been like white jade, had turned red as a carrot.
Valdroba realized it too and hurriedly withdrew her hand.
“It, it’s nothing….”
“It looks like a rejection reaction or something similar. I should examine it more closely—”
“I, I really! It’s nothing, so you don’t have to worry!”
Valdroba bolted upright from her seat.
Ferda was startled by her sudden outburst.
“I’ll be going early today.”
“Is it enough? I feel I gave you less than usual.”
“Yes, I just… need a bit of strength right now.”
She said that and fled the room.
Watching her leave, Ferda realized he had made a mistake.
‘As I thought, badmouthing others isn't a good choice.’
He thought he had softened his words, but it seemed he was mistaken.
She had brought up a topic to talk about, and he had ended up making her uncomfortable.
‘I should cut back on that next time.’
Ferda made that vow and decided to wait for their next meeting.
* * *
Valdroba returned straight to her Lair.
She emerged from the armor and collapsed right where she was.
Unlike her usual self, she curled up and hugged her legs.
“Uuu….”
Valdroba let out a small groan.
Her body trembled slightly.
“Master, it’s Ruri. I’m coming in.”
Ruri entered the room.
She saw Valdroba, who had turned herself into a human cocoon.
“…Why are you acting like that?”
“Rurii….”
Valdroba called her name and lifted her head.
Her face was dyed as bright red as the color of her hair.
“…….”
Ruri knew why she was like this.
She had already heard what they had talked about.
With tears welling in her eyes, Valdroba buried her face in the small servant’s chest.
“Go ahead and speak.”
“Ferda-ssi… Ferda-ssi called me a dummy….”
“…….”
“Can’t you at least deny it?”
She looked up with tearful eyes, but Ruri didn't budge.
“Didn't I tell you to study more often?”
“I did… I did, but….”
“Besides, isn't that something you hear quite often? Is it really worth reacting like this?”
“Of course, Iorga said it too, and others did as well….”
Valdroba hugged her legs tightly and whimpered in a sorrowful voice.
“But it makes me sadder when Ferda-ssi says it.”
“He didn't say it directly to you, Master, did he?”
“That makes it even more upsetting! He usually speaks so kindly, but inside, he must be thinking I’m a total idiot!”
“…….”
“Deny it. I’m really going to cry.”
Valdroba grew even more miserable at Ruri’s lack of reaction.
“You don’t need to worry. If you put in the effort, Master, he will surely recognize that side of you as well.”
“Do you think so?”
“Therefore….”
Ruri thrust two books toward her.
— Grammar Studies Even a Child Can Easily Learn
— The Process of Becoming an Elegant Young Lady for Children: Let’s Write Beautifully!
“You’ll have to do it, won’t you?”
Valdroba looked back and forth between Ruri and the two books before finally speaking with effort.
“…Yeah.”
There was no age limit to learning.
* * *
That night, Ferda had a dream.
Valdroba was there.
It wasn't a castle.
It was a small house.
The kind of humble, commoner’s house Ferda had stayed in after being kicked out of the castle and losing all his money.
‘It’s a dream.’
Since it wasn't a harmful dream, he thought he would just sit there until he woke up.
“Are you awake?”
A lovely voice tickled his ears.
Ferda had heard this voice exactly once before.
Just in case, he lifted his head.
Long red hair and golden eyes.
She lacked the two pairs of horns and the slit pupils, and her clothing was plain, but Ferda knew who she was.
‘There’s no doubt.’
It was Valdroba.
“What’s wrong? You don’t look well.”
Her hand gently caressed Ferda’s cheek.
A warmth, like being home, enveloped his entire body.
Seeing Ferda’s face relax, Valdroba let out a soft, beaming smile.
Perhaps because he was holding her hand, the sensation of her skin felt incredibly vivid. He even thought it might be okay to be trapped in this dream forever.
“Shall we do that?”
“That…?”
When Ferda reacted as if he didn't understand, Valdroba smiled with her eyes as if he were being cute.
Valdroba leaned in close.
“The thing you’re good at.”
Her soft hand gripped Ferda’s.
Ferda’s hand was pulled along without resistance.
The place she led it to was her neck.
Ferda was strangling her.
“Go on, kill me.”
Ferda gasped and tried to pull his hand away.
But it wouldn't move.
Her hand held his firmly in place, and the more he struggled, the tighter the grip became.
Blood began to flow from her golden eyes.
Valdroba’s form began to melt and distort.
— Why?
A scream erupted from her mouth.
— Why did you kill me?
Countless voices swam inside Ferda’s head.
It was karma.
It was the karma for the things he had done.
They say that even if one returns to the past, karma cannot be avoided.
They say karma returns to strangle you.
But Ferda’s karma was strangling someone else instead.
The neck of the person he should love most.
Karma knew that was the most painful thing for Ferda.
— Why? Why? Why?
— I didn't do anything….
— Give me back my father!
The chaotic voices grew louder and louder.
Strength surged into the slender neck.
At the end of the chaos,
A terrible silence fell.
Had he woken from the dream?
No.
The slender sensation was still vivid in his hand.
Ferda.
What he heard was a voice.
Come now, listen to my voice again.
The voice was so very sweet.
Remember who you are.
Ah.
I am….
Crack—.
* * *
He woke up to the sound of something snapping and breaking.
A cold sweat poured down, making his whole body feel unpleasant.
But what was even more unpleasant than that,
‘The circuit….’
The Red Circle was spinning violently.
Again.
Even though his heart wasn't directed toward Valdroba, the circuit in his chest was spinning furiously.
Ferda forced himself to sit up.
He emptied his mind.
He made it empty so that nothing remained.
Soon, Ferda’s circle settled into a calm state.
It was much simpler than he had feared.
However, even that simplicity was not welcome to Ferda.
Because it meant he already knew.
‘Why….’
It pointed toward a sense of déjà vu.
That déjà vu was something that shouldn't exist for Ferda.
‘Why does hatred still remain in me?’
Because that was what had turned Ferda into a 9th-circle disaster.
* * *
Ferda’s mind became complicated.
It wasn't a matter of mana fatalism or some other nonsense.
This was something he actually felt, something actually spinning.
Ferda had vaguely felt it might be there.
‘So… that time wasn't just my imagination?’
Abel Silverwind.
The third-rate villain who had been threatening Ruri, a man whose name wasn't even worth remembering.
Back then, Ferda had made everything in the darkness his own.
In doing so, he had reached inside Abel’s body and killed him on the spot.
That was something a 4th-circle mage couldn't achieve, and it should have been impossible even for Ferda at the time.
Ferda recalled the sensation of that moment.
He went back to just before that death, as if slowly rewinding time.
— Are you just going to watch?
‘A voice.’
It was a sweet voice.
It had stirred something inside his body and drawn out power.
That power of his that had been consumed by rage.
‘Even though I turned back time, does that still remain?’
The power that had killed his family,
That had killed innocent people,
And that had even killed the person he now loved,
That power was inside Ferda.
He was confused.
It was on a different level from simply being bound by mana fatalism.
While that had been a vague anxiety, this time it was a fact with evidence.
Knock, knock, knock.
The sound of a knock on the bedroom door.
Ruri entered.
“Ferda-nim.”
“Why have you come?”
Irritation seeped into his voice before he knew it.
“A visitor has arrived.”
“I have no intention of receiving visitors today. Send them back.”
“I came to ask because it is someone you know, Ferda-nim.”
“Someone I know?”
Who would come here to meet him in person?
While numerous names swirled through his head, the name that came out of Ruri’s mouth was unexpected.
“It is Erembalt Rosnova, your father, Ferda-nim.”
The starting point of the hatred he carried.
