Skip to content

Do All Mothers in Childcare Novels Have to Die [Novel] Chapter 11 – A Mother's Regret

Previously

Liliana wakes up in pain after her fall, comforted by Sophia who recalls the trauma Liliana suffered from Fischel's bullying. Despite the Head Maid's warning that Helio is furious, he visits Liliana in the Emerald Palace and mocks her attempts to avoid him.

As Helio listened to Liliana's story, he murmured under his breath:

‘Was my mother like that too?’

“Pardon?”
“Nothing. In any case, it seems you have no intention of bearing an heir.”
“Yes… Though I put it rather dramatically, I wanted to be honest with you. I believe whatever power I might gain through a child would pale beside what I would lose. I simply wish to live a quiet life, as though I were dead.”

Liliana placed great emphasis on the words “as though I were dead,” pouring her entire heart into them. At that, Helio gave her forehead a light flick, as if annoyed.

“Ouch!”
“You certainly do not hesitate to say things one shouldn't utter before the Emperor.”
“Yet… you said you preferred it when I rebelled against everything.”

Liliana grumbled under her breath, but soon found herself watching his reaction warily.

One could hardly tell whether she feared the Emperor or not.

How could someone be so audacious, yet so cautious at the very same time?

Helio watched her with hooded eyes as she hesitated to speak.

After a while, Liliana shifted slowly and asked him with care:

“Why aren't you angry?”
“About what, exactly? Do you mean faking an accident because you didn't wish to share a bed with the Emperor? Or brazenly declaring to the Emperor's face that you won't bear an heir? I hardly know which one I ought to be furious about.”
“Neither do I.”

Helio laughed aloud at Liliana's brazen answer, while Liliana seemed slightly crestfallen. Even so, she pressed on.

“I heard you were furious, yet you indulge everything I do. It truly is quite insolent of me.”

Liliana knew full well how insolent she was being. Yet Helio felt a sudden flicker of tension.

He wondered why this bold girl did not annoy him in the least; on the contrary, she seemed rather endearing.

With a sigh, Helio brushed aside the stray strands of blond hair falling over his forehead.

“First of all,”

As Helio began to speak, Liliana focused intently, clenching her jaw. That sight was endearing too, making him pause for a moment before continuing.

“The reason I was furious was actually because of the steward who failed to maintain the Emerald Palace properly.”
“But that was…”
“Yes. It wasn't the steward's fault, but the result of your shoddy scheme. Fortunately, I realized it in time and claimed the steward had made an error, so he was spared.”
“Thank you.”
“Why are you thanking me?”
“Had that man died, I wouldn't have been able to sleep with my legs stretched out.”

Helio's expression showed he didn't quite grasp what she meant.

“In any case, I wasn't angry with you. Had I been angry, I wouldn't have brought you here in the first place. I saw you run away with my own eyes.”

Helio said this as he rose from his seat. Liliana hesitated and tried to stand, but he pressed a finger against her shoulder, sending her falling right back down.

“Do not bother showing courtesy when you are already exhausted. Once your health improves, pray let me know.”

Helio studied her closely before slowly stepping back. His gaze was sharp, like a predator watching captured prey.

Eventually, he turned and headed for the door held open by a maid, slipping away quietly and moving with all the grace of a beast at the top of the food chain.

The moment Helio was gone, Sophia rushed in, shouting:

“Your Highness! Have you lost your mind?! My heart nearly jumped right out of my chest! What in the world were you saying in front of the Emperor?! Was that accident deliberate, just as you said?!”
“I'm sorry, Sophia.”

When she offered her quiet apology, Sophia sank to the floor in sheer exhaustion, lifting her eyes to Liliana with a gaze mingled with reproach and anger.

Liliana braced herself for a barrage of lectures and scolding, but Sophia merely let out a deep sigh and said just one thing:

“I will help you.”
“Pardon?”

Liliana stared at Sophia in bewilderment, while Sophia squeezed her eyes shut with determination and said gravely:

“Contraceptives. I will procure them for you.”

Her steady voice resonated through the room, filling the air with quiet resolve.

❈❈❈

Once her condition improved enough for her to walk slowly, Helio did not visit her even once.

Liliana wondered if his interest in his audacious Queen had run its course, yet receiving gifts from him every now and then suggested otherwise.

The gifts included an assortment of accessories, dresses, and, strangest of all, a sword. Attached to it was a small card that read:

“Which of these gifts did you like?”

The peculiar combination of gifts gave Liliana the distinct impression that Helio had put serious thought into it, and she smiled without realizing it.

After much deliberation, she decided to send a brief reply:

“The food was delicious. By the way, I haven't fully recovered yet.”

The very next day, a new chef arrived at the Emerald Palace, so extraordinarily skilled that even the simplest salads tasted entirely different. It was astonishing that Helio would send a chef of such caliber, and Liliana couldn't help but feel he was doing things in his own distinct way.

“I'd like to go out for a walk today.”

Liliana announced, but the maids protested adamantly. Even so, she felt an urge to draw strength from the brisk winds outside, which spurred her persistence.

“I won't overexert myself. Just in front of the palace.”

After relentless coaxing, Sophia gradually gave in. With Sophia's consent, Liliana finally stepped out into the front grounds of the palace.

Catching sight of Liliana, Choo Choo lifted her tear-streaked little face, her eyes widening before she burst into tears all over again.

“Lily!”
“Choo Choo…”

As Liliana approached Choo Choo, she crouched down as though nursing aches throughout her body. When she extended her hand toward the ground, Choo Choo gripped her finger tightly.

“Lily! I missed you! Are you alright? Are you feeling better?”

Scooping the tiny Choo Choo up with her, Liliana slowly stood back up.

Instead of answering Choo Choo's frantic cries, she merely gave a slight nod and smiled. Talking to Choo Choo in front of the maids would reveal her ability to handle spirits, and she had no desire to draw unnecessary attention.

Fortunately, Choo Choo seemed to understand Liliana's hint, wrapping both arms securely around her finger.

“Thank goodness! I thought you were going to die because of me! I'm sorry! I'm so, so sorry!”

Liliana patted Choo Choo's head with her thumb to comfort her. Holding Choo Choo in her small hand, she began to stroll slowly around the Emerald Palace grounds.

Between Helio attending Liliana's appointment ceremony as Queen and his sudden visit to the Emerald Palace that very same day, the servants' demeanor outside had become noticeably more respectful.

‘So this is what the imperial palace is like…’

Lost in thought, Liliana took a seat on a bench beside a small lake on the palace grounds. Though out in the open, the bench appeared meticulously kept, entirely spotless without a speck of dust.

Liliana placed Choo Choo on her lap and gently stroked her with a finger; Choo Choo's mood visibly brightened as she giggled and played with Liliana's hand.

Liliana smiled at the sight of Choo Choo frolicking, then turned her gaze quietly across the lake.

The water was so pristine that the fish swimming within were plainly visible. The rocks lining the shore had been chosen with care, creating a scenic and tidy view.

“I feel good.”

Taking a deep breath of the fresh outdoor air, a contented smile spread across her face. As she glanced about, she noticed a group of people approaching.

At first, Liliana wondered who they might be, but when she recognized the tall, blond man leading the procession, she nearly jumped up from her seat.

Had she been in her normal state, she undoubtedly would have.

Instead of standing, Liliana stared straight ahead. Yet her bright pink hair stood out, impossible to conceal. Naturally, Helio had already spotted her by the lake.

When Liliana glanced back once more, she saw Helio striding in her direction.

‘I told him I hadn't recovered yet!’

Being caught while not looking particularly unwell might earn her another flick to the forehead. The mere thought made her forehead ache in phantom sympathy.

Torn between fleeing and staying put, she took in her surroundings with mounting anxiety. In that time, Helio drew closer and closer.

‘Ah, what should I do?’

Liliana tapped her feet against the ground and glanced behind her again. Oddly enough, Helio had come to a sudden halt. He wasn't looking at her, but had turned aside as though eyeing something near her.

Then, without warning, he turned away and resumed walking in the direction he had originally been heading, leaving Liliana thoroughly bewildered.

“What does that mean…?”

Liliana wondered under her breath.

“It looks as though you were trying to run away from me.”

Startled by a gentle voice drawing near, Liliana raised her head to find herself facing the Empress Dowager, who bore a striking resemblance to Helio.

As Liliana moved to stand at once, the Empress Dowager placed a gentle hand upon her shoulder. Liliana sank back onto the bench and lowered her head. The Empress Dowager regarded her with a tender smile.

“Stay seated. I heard of the accident; it seems you are faring a little better.”
“Thank you, Your Majesty.”
“There is no need for thanks. If anything, I am the one who should thank you.”

The Empress Dowager said this as she took a seat beside Liliana. Even at a glance, her presence was elegant and magnificent.

Her appearance was graceful, yet tinged with a sorrowful air—a testament to the hardships she had endured to survive within the imperial palace.

“I have done nothing worthy of thanks.”
“Yet you manage my son quite well.”
“Your Majesty, he merely takes pity on me…”

The Empress Dowager gave a soft smile at Liliana's humble words, though she never laughed aloud.

“My son is not one to pity others. He knows all too well that such sentiment is entirely pointless.”

Liliana wanted to ask what those words meant, but she was before the Empress Dowager. She knew the Empress Dowager was not someone she could retort to boldly, nor someone who would simply brush it off with a wry smile. Thus, Liliana merely clenched her trembling fists and offered a simple smile.

“Do you know why the Emperor thinks that way?”
“I do not know, Your Majesty.”

“Because of me.”

The Empress Dowager's words were steeped in regret. Liliana found herself unable to answer easily.

“He took pity on me. Yet he gained nothing in return.”
◆

End of chapter

Chapter 12

The Empress Dowager's Regret

Next
Discord

You May Also Like