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Do All Mothers in Childcare Novels Have to Die [Novel] Chapter 10 – The True Reason

Previously

Helio Carlo anticipates his wedding night with amusement while Liliana prepares for the ceremony under the strict supervision of the Head Maid. Liliana convinces the Head Maid to leave the room so she can execute a dangerous plan to avoid physical intimacy by using Choo Choo's wind magic to survive a fall from the balcony.

“Sniff… sob…”
“Sniff… sob…”

Liliana woke to a heart-wrenching, terribly mournful weep.

At first, she worried it was her mother crying in a dream. But as she listened closer, she realized the voice sounded far too young to be her mother’s.

Liliana carefully opened her eyes and tried to stir, but sharp pain tore through her body, and a scream ripped from her throat.

“Ah!”
“Your Highness! Are you awake?”

Hearing Liliana groan, Sophia rushed over. She placed a hand on Liliana’s forehead, startled, and cried out.

“You’re drenched in sweat! Call the doctor! Summon the doctor at once!”

Liliana gently took Sophia’s hand and shook her head.

“It was just a nightmare.”
“What?”
“You know… a nightmare about Fischel tormenting me.”

Liliana offered a faint smile as if it were nothing, but Sophia felt as though her own heart were tearing into thousands of pieces.

Fischel had tormented Liliana mercilessly. Ever since the day she was whipped over Fischel’s lies, Liliana had relived that nightmare again and again. It was far too cruel a burden for a child her age.

Sophia sat beside Liliana, clutching her hand tightly.

Though she was a maid, she was also Liliana’s only friend.

“Your Highness, you must put that day behind you. You will never have to see Princess Fischel again.”
“I know…”

Liliana closed her eyes and nodded.

“And I will never see my mother again, either.”
“Your Majesty…”

Unable to hold back her grief, Sophia let her tears fall.

“Your Royal Highness Liliana, the doctor is here.”

Summoned by Sophia’s earlier shouts, the Head Maid ushered the doctor into the room. The physician sat beside Liliana and examined her condition.

“Considering the height of the fall, you were remarkably fortunate to come away with only this.”

Of course. She had used her spirit magic; otherwise, it would have been a horrific tragedy.

‘I was sure I wouldn’t die or suffer critical injuries. But since Choo Choo wasn’t as strong as I’d hoped, it still hurt terribly…’

‘Ah! Choo Choo!’

Liliana’s head snapped up.

Thinking back, the faint weeping she had heard earlier belonged to Choo Choo.

Liliana had been holding her as she fell, which meant Choo Choo was likely still lying right where they landed.

‘Oh no… I can’t exactly send someone to fetch her.’

A throbbing headache flared behind Liliana’s brow, and she pressed a hand to her forehead. Noticing her distress, the doctor prescribed a remedy for the pain before taking his leave.

Once he was gone, the Head Maid stepped forward hesitantly.

“Your Royal Highness, there is something I must tell you.”
“What is it?”
“The Emperor is furious.”

Liliana’s eyes lit up at the news.

“Truly? Then he won’t visit me anymore?”
“What? Your Highness, that’s…”
“I’ll stay completely still for a very long time. Tell him I’ll live as though I were dead, and that I am terribly sorry. Please, tell him just that.”

Yet, as always, life had no intention of going her way.

❈❈❈

“You look better than I expected.”

Liliana could not fathom why a man supposed to be incandescent with rage had come to the Emerald Palace in person. She lay in bed, staring at him with a puzzled scowl.

“It is an honor to receive a visit from the Emperor, the Sun of the Empire. Please forgive me for being unable to offer a proper greeting in my present state.”

Even half-conscious in bed, Liliana could not unlearn the habits drilled into her over ten years of survival back home. Her words fell from her lips as flatly and flawlessly as if she were reading off a script.

Helio crossed his legs as he sat down, wearing an amused expression.

“They told me you would be overjoyed if I didn’t come.”
“Who would dare say such a thing?”
“And just who is that ‘dare’ directed at? Your maids? Or yourself?”

Liliana’s mouth snapped shut.

He had warned her from the very start: every maid in this palace was his spy.

The Head Maid had undoubtedly witnessed her visible relief at the thought of him staying away, and had run straight to report it.

Was the woman remarkably loyal, or merely a traitor? Either way, Liliana felt a sharp urge to throw the spy out on her ear.

Yet the spy’s master was the Emperor himself. How could she possibly do that?

Liliana murmured in weary surrender.

“I stopped caring about how others looked at my quarters long ago, so I spoke without thinking.”
“I was under the impression your situation in the Kingdom of Niita was quite dire, yet you seem to have lived rather freely.”
“Your Majesty, sometimes being given cold scraps of food offers its own kind of freedom. Even if one is treated poorly in the process.”

Liliana raised her hands as if to toss something aside, but a sudden twinge in her arm muscles forced her to stop. She sighed softly and let her arms fall back to the bed.

Helio let out a long sigh of his own, as though mocking her. It went on long enough that Liliana’s gaze, fixed on the ceiling, drifted over to him against her will.

Liliana found herself at a loss for words—partly due to his sheer arrogance, and partly because his logic was annoyingly sound.

As she watched his expressive face, a self-assured smile spread across his lips.

“So it isn’t that. Is it my personality you dislike, then? I’ve certainly met plenty of people who do, but I don’t believe you’re one of them.”
“Such confidence…”
“I can tell by the way you speak to me. People usually run or avoid me out of fear, or because they despise me. But you…”

Liliana fell silent again.

Yes, she had to admit it. She didn’t truly find being around him unpleasant.

How could she? He was remarkably handsome, and time spent with him was never dull. Besides, having had no friends aside from Sophia, she genuinely valued his company.

Watching her flustered expression, Helio drew another conclusion.

“I expected you to agree again. Well then, what is the reason?”
“As I said, it is not that I dislike meeting with you. What happened that night was purely an accident. Think about it. Even if I wished to avoid you, would I really risk my own life just for that? Especially when Your Highness is… so very attractive…”

Though her voice faltered at the end, she felt her reasoning was solid enough. Liliana watched his face closely as he seemed to consider her words.

A moment later, Helio snapped his thumb and middle finger with a sharp crack, startling Liliana so badly her eyes widened.

“Don’t try to deceive me. You’re dreadful at it.”

Why was he so unwilling to believe her? Was there really something written across her forehead, as he’d claimed before?

Liliana reflexively brought a hand up to cover her brow. At the sight, Helio leaned forward with a low chuckle.

Realizing her own foolishness a beat too late, Liliana flushed crimson.

After laughing for a moment, Helio composed himself and asked quietly, his tone turning serious.

“I will ask you once more: what is the real reason you refuse to be with me? A child would give you power. And I wished to grant you strength in my own way, rushing our union because I did not want to see you vulnerable, as though you were forced into becoming Queen.”

Helio locked his gaze onto her rose-colored eyes, leaning closer as he braced one hand on the edge of the mattress.

“W-what! Wh-why! Why are you doing this?!”

Flustered, Liliana tried to draw back, but her battered body gave her little room to maneuver within the confines of the bed.

Fortunately, Helio did not close the distance any further.

“I’ve given it a great deal of thought…”
“Given what thought?”
“Why you refuse to share a bed with me.”

Liliana put on a blank, innocent look as if she hadn’t the faintest idea what he meant, but Helio’s blue eyes were relaxed, scrutinizing her every move.

He leaned back again, resting his hands comfortably on his knees.

“That fall was deliberate, wasn’t it?”
“No, not at all. It was an accident.”

Liliana spoke with crisp, unwavering certainty.

“So it was deliberate.”

Helio didn’t believe a single word out of her mouth.

He leaned back in contemplation, ticking through the possible reasons she might turn him away.

“Am I ugly? I certainly don’t think so.”
“Where does this confidence even come from…?”
“I am the Emperor of this nation. Do you understand what that means?”
“I can’t say I fully grasp it.”

Helio continued with supreme self-assurance.

“In this country, the person who must be most conscious of his standing is me. That is why I know I am quite handsome. In fact, you’d be hard-pressed to find a man who looks like me even if you searched beyond the empire and across the entire world.”
“I am well aware, and I am grateful for it.”
“You are? Then why do you reject me?”

Though she had heard rumors of his fearsome temper, the Helio sitting before her seemed far from angry. If anything, he looked genuinely curious about what she was thinking.

Liliana hesitated for a brief moment before deciding to speak the truth.

“I have no need for power. I simply want to live in peace.”

Helio scoffed at her answer, as though laughing at a childish fantasy.

“The imperial palace is not a place where you can live quietly just because you wish to.”
“I know. But what if I have a child and still fail to gain the necessary strength? In the end, I would have to tell that child to endure whatever slaps the other royals see fit to deal them.”

Liliana spoke with eerie calm.

She looked like someone who had weighed the matter for a very long time.

“Even if my child died, I wouldn’t even be able to seek revenge. And when the time came to marry them off to another land, there would be nothing I could do.”

Just like her mother.

Liliana did not finish the thought aloud, but Helio understood. She was speaking of herself, and of her own mother.

The tale of a powerless woman who bore a king’s child, only to prove completely helpless when it came to protecting her.

“I don’t mind enduring suffering on my own. I can bear that easily enough. But I never want to tell my child to endure what I had to endure. It was simply too painful.”

Liliana knew that pain intimately, having watched her mother tend to her wounds day after day, tears trembling on the verge of falling. And in those moments, Liliana had always thought one thing.

“It is the child who makes the mother suffer.”

◆

End of chapter

Chapter 11

A Mother's Regret

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