Chapter 37
37
I Hate You So Much
Mrs. Etman, who had paused for a moment to gaze at Leila, slowly approached and sat down in the seat across from her. Sitting with a rigid posture, she placed her hat on the chair beside her. The woman, whom she had known for so many years, suddenly felt strangely unfamiliar, making Leila tense up without realizing it.
“You must have just come from the police station. What did they say?”
Fortunately, Mrs. Etman spoke first.
“They said they haven’t found any leads yet. But it’s not over, so I’m not giving up.”
“Well, Leila. In my opinion, that doesn’t seem like a good choice.”
“Pardon?”
Just as the surprised Leila asked again, the ordered tea arrived. An awkward silence flowed between the two until the waiter roughly set down the teacups and left. Leila was the one who broke it first.
“May I ask what you mean?”
“I have the money.”
Gazing indifferently at the steaming teacup, Mrs. Etman spoke clearly, word by word. It was such a distinct statement that there was no way to mishear it, yet Leila felt dazed, as if she had heard an illusion.
“The person who took your tuition money… it was me.”
Lifting her gaze to meet Leila’s eyes directly, Mrs. Etman emphasized it once more.
“That can’t be. How could you, Mrs. Etman…”
Leila tried to smile, but her lips wouldn’t move as she wished. She couldn’t understand Mrs. Etman making such a cruel joke, yet the woman simply stared at her without the slightest flinch.
“I hid it. Because I didn’t want you to go to university with Kyle, I did it even knowing it was wrong.”
“That couldn’t be…”
“It was theft. A pathetic, cruel theft. And yet I did it. Because I wanted to pull you away from Kyle’s side.”
Now her mind had gone completely blank, but Leila could no longer deny reality. Mrs. Etman was telling the truth. It was an eerily clear fact.
“Leila, I hate you so much.”
The gray eyes looking at Leila were filled with deep disillusionment and weariness.
“Rather than accept you as Kyle’s partner, I’d rather become this wretched person myself. That’s how much I hate you.”
“Mrs. Etman.”
“I thought you were a good girl who knew her place. I never dreamed you’d harbor such absurd greed and try to use Kyle to get what you want.”
“Use him? No. That’s not it. I would never do that to Kyle. No.”
Leila shook her head frantically. Her hand gripping the edge of the table began to tremble, and soon her whole body was shaking, but she had no spare moment to notice.
“Is that why you stayed by Kyle’s side? To use him to go to university and become his wife, to change your pitiful life?”
Knowing it was a false accusation, Mrs. Etman pressed her even more viciously.
She knew. Leila’s feelings for Kyle had never strayed far beyond camaraderie or friendship. If anything, it was her son, Kyle, who had always clung so persistently. If not for that foolish boy, Leila never would have dared to have such presumptuous hopes. That fact had always wounded her pride, and now it made her hate Leila even more.
“My hatred for you turned me into a thief, Leila. I hate you so much that I committed this crime. This fact will never change. Do you think people like us could ever become family?”
“What… what is it you want to say to me?”
Her voice began to tremble as well, but Leila did not avoid her gaze.
“You already know. You’re a smart girl.”
Mrs. Etman’s eyes, scanning the cheap teacup she hadn’t touched and Leila, were as cold as ice.
“If you want to say it, go ahead and tell him.”
Sunlight fell over Leila’s pale face. Her large eyes, brimming with tears, sparkled in the light. That face now made her sick to the point of nausea.
“Tell Kyle—no, tell the whole world—that I committed this crime to stop your marriage.”
You’ll never do it. Knowing that all too well, Mrs. Etman could speak with such confidence.
“If you tell Kyle, he’ll be deeply disappointed in me. Our relationship will sour, and perhaps even our harmonious family will fall apart.”
Mrs. Etman’s face grew even more steely as she watched Leila freeze.
“But now that this has happened, you and Kyle can never marry. Whether you keep this a secret or tell Kyle everything, nothing will change. That’s all I need.”
“Is my presence so hateful to you that you have to do this?”
“Didn’t I tell you, Leila? I hate you.”
Leaving Leila behind, Mrs. Etman rose from her seat first.
“Yes. I hate you so much that I’d make this extreme choice, that I’d throw away even the slightest pretense in front of you.”
The contempt in Mrs. Etman’s eyes was like frost.
“I’ll return the money I’ve been holding once the registration deadline passes.”
So instead of poking around everywhere, give up on Kyle wisely.
She quietly swallowed the words she most wanted to say. By now, Leila would have understood everything.
“Mr. Leamer is truly regrettable today.”
As she turned to leave, she sighed and cast her gaze downward.
“Why did he leave you in Arbis and create this tragedy?”
Those final words delivered the greatest blow, as Leila’s frozen, glass-like eyes revealed.
Leaving behind the stubborn girl who refused to cry until the end, Mrs. Etman leisurely left the tearoom. A mix of relief and self-loathing followed her like a shadow clinging to her footsteps.
He saw Leila.
At the edge of the road leading to the estate, she was crouched small beneath a massive plane tree.
Mathias, who had been idly staring out the car window, recognized her at once. Even though he could only see her back, there was no mistaking it was Leila.
“That girl under the tree… looks like Leila from the Leamer place?”
The chauffeur cautiously spoke up, having recognized the child as well.
“Is she feeling ill?”
Mark Evers, the attendant, added worriedly. In the meantime, the car drew a bit closer to the huddled Leila. Sensing their presence, Leila staggered to her feet and stood straight. With her head bowed deeply, her face couldn’t be seen properly, but she clearly wasn’t well.
The attendant, who kept glancing out the window, turned his head toward the back seat. His eyes were full of the desire to stop the car and help her, though he couldn’t bring himself to ask outright. The chauffeur felt the same, gradually slowing the car.
Mathias cast his gaze at the scenery slowly passing by the window. Leila, standing against the tree, kept her head bowed with stubborn resolve.
She’s crying.
He knew it intuitively, without a shred of doubt. Perhaps he was the one in this world who knew Leila Llewellyn’s tears best.
Mathias withdrew his gaze from the window without a word, letting that serve as his answer. The attendant could only wear a regretful expression, unable to add more. The chauffeur sped up again, honoring his master’s will.
Leila’s tears always brought Mathias pleasure, as they always had—but that joy was meant for him alone. Anyone else getting involved? Well, that wasn’t particularly welcome.
The car that left Leila walking alone and weeping soon passed the estate gates. By the time it arrived and Mathias stepped out, he felt much more at ease.
Had Linda Etman made her move?
It was probably the only thing that could make Leila sob so uncontrollably that she could barely stand. That prediction proved correct when Hessen approached with a troubled face.
“I have something to report.”
Walking in step with Mathias, he reported in a voice lowered to a whisper.
“It’s so unbelievable, I don’t know how to tell you…”
The moment the voice of the ever-competent butler, who rarely panicked, trembled slightly, Mathias was certain. Mrs. Etman had lived up to his expectations.
“Let’s go to the study.”
Mathias’s calm reply was low and gentle.
“It’s the middle of summer, and she’s caught a cold. It’s all that thief’s fault. Boiling inside like that did her in.”
Bill paced anxiously beside Leila’s bed, at a loss.
He’d been worried since last night when she’d gone to bed early, saying she wasn’t feeling well, and now Leila had finally fallen ill. She insisted it was just a cold, that she’d be fine after some rest, but to Bill, it didn’t look like it would pass that easily.
“This won’t do. I’ll call Dr. Etman…”
“No.”
As Bill turned to leave, Leila struggled to sit up. It was quite hot for early morning, yet Leila shivered in her thick pajamas. She looked like a full-blown invalid overnight.
“No, Uncle. Please don’t.”
“I’m just calling the doctor because you’re sick. Why? Did you fight with Kyle or something?”
“No.”
“Even if you fought with Kyle, Dr. Etman would…”
“Please.”
Leila’s hand, slick with cold sweat, clutched at Bill’s clothes.
“I just want to rest. That’s all. Please let me.”
“Leila…”
“I think I’ll get better then. Okay?”
She pleaded so desperately that Bill couldn’t insist anymore. It seemed something had happened with Kyle, but now wasn’t the time to pry.
When Bill reluctantly nodded, Leila finally looked relieved. Her body collapsed back onto the bed like a puppet with cut strings, making his heart sink once more.
“You should’ve eaten properly, slept well! I could’ve handled it all. Boiling inside like that!”
Even as he raised his voice, he gently pulled up the blanket with hands as large as pot lids and placed a damp cloth on her feverish forehead.
“Don’t worry, kid. Even if I can’t catch that damn thief and tear him apart, I’ll somehow get your tuition…”
“Uncle.”
Her thin voice slipped between her ragged, hot breaths.
“Stay here. Don’t send me away.”
“Talking all soft-hearted again.”
“I’m sorry, Uncle.”
“What’s that nonsense now?”
“It’s because of me.”
“Keep saying that, and I’ll get mad.”
“I’ll definitely come back.”
Bill gazed silently at Leila, who was rambling without context, then let out a long, muffled sigh.
“Rest first, Leila. I’ll be right back.”
Bill closed the window in Leila’s room and drew the curtains. But even shivering from the summer chill, Leila asked him to open the window again.
“It’s stuffy… Just a little.”
Even near death, Leila rarely yielded her stubbornness.
Once again, Bill couldn’t win against her. He half-opened the window and parted the curtains slightly, and only then did Leila finally close her eyes peacefully.
“If your fever doesn’t break by afternoon, I’ll call Dr. Etman no matter what you say. Got it?”
He laid down the threat, but Leila gave no response, as if she hadn’t heard.
Leaving Leila asleep like someone who had lost consciousness, Bill reluctantly left the cottage.
His steps quickened naturally, eager to finish the morning chores as soon as possible.
