Chapter 58
Oath on the Heart
Even while looking at Liene, Black tilted his head, as if he really didn't understand.
“Even if it’s not okay… it’s okay. I was the one who deceived you.”
“At first, it was definitely okay. Even if you were carrying another man’s child.”
Black’s voice lowered to a whisper.
“It was me who finally decided I wanted to have the Princess, and it was like a price for being late. I didn’t even care whose child it was. I was going to raise it as my own anyway. Having you, Princess, was more important to me than the child. The child was really okay. But…”
The furrow between his brows slowly smoothed out.
“I guess it wasn’t okay, actually.”
“…? I don’t understand. What are you saying?”
“When you said it was a lie, it felt like something snapped.”
Black tapped his chest with his fingertip.
“Around here. It’s quite…”
Black paused, taking his time to choose the right expression. He seemed unsure of the name of the feeling he was experiencing.
“Refreshing, I guess you could say.”
“...?”
Slowly, Black’s lips parted, drawing a pleasant arc.
“It feels like something has become uncontrollably lighter.”
“That sounds like you’re happy.”
“I suppose it does. …Does it hurt a lot?”
Liene didn’t fully understand the abrupt, out-of-context question.
“Yes? But I said I didn’t lose the child…”
“Then I’ll take that as a yes.”
And then her face was seized. A familiar weight pressed down on her shoulders, and their lips met. As the familiar scent swirled on her tongue, she felt tears welling up. …That’s right. It’s greed. Hiding a part of her past from him, that was her greed. It wasn’t for his sake, but for her own. It wasn’t that she didn’t want to take it away, but that she wanted to have him. I don’t want to lose this man. …I won’t lose him. She decided to bury her father’s deeds in her heart. Even if she suffered from guilt for the rest of her life, she would keep her mouth shut.
“Wait, um… just, wait a moment.”
The kiss was intense and long. Liene whispered, forcing out the heated breaths between her lips with difficulty.
“A little, slow, er…”
“Yes.”
The docile answer of “yes” was hard to believe, because Black’s eyes were so dark. Wouldn’t the eyes of someone who couldn’t hear anything look like that? Black eagerly reclaimed her falling lips. Liene, who had been lying on the bed, was now sitting on his lap, wrapped in his arms.
“Wait, you said, slowly…”
“Yes.”
“Not at all…”
“Yes.”
“No…”
“Yes.”
…Why is he even answering? The suffocating kiss was as exhausting as it was intoxicating. She wanted to hold him as much as she could, but unfortunately, her arms were getting heavier and heavier.
“...It hurts.”
Liene murmured when their lips parted briefly. Sure enough, her lips, which had been subjected to a lot of friction, were throbbing.
“...It hurts?”
Fortunately, those words had the power to stop Black.
“Where?”
Liene cupped Black’s face, which had finally moved far enough away for her to make eye contact, with both hands.
“My lips. You just bit them.”
“Ah…”
Black’s expression stiffened as he noticed the small teeth marks left on her lips. All those small reactions were so lovely that it hurt her heart.
“Save the rest for later.”
At Liene’s words, Black shook his head briefly, then chuckled.
“How long should I postpone it?”
“Hmm… Until tomorrow?”
“Will it stop hurting by tomorrow?”
“I think so.”
By tomorrow. By tomorrow, she would be able to harden her heart. When the feeling that he wanted her was conveyed so intensely through her whole body, that feeling that her heart would crumble at the slightest prick would be better by tomorrow.
“Are you still afraid of me?”
“No. Why do you think that?”
“I’m worried because I haven’t had a very good reputation.”
“……”
Liene watched the end of his eyebrow, which had a faint scar, tilt slightly downward. Did this man know? That she loved every single one of these things, that she was grateful, and that she was sorry. That she was tormented because she was sorry. That she was in pain because she was tormented. That was why she felt like crying whenever she saw him.
“From what you do to me, I can tell for sure that you’re not a homosexual.”
Liene mumbled softly, caressing Black’s cheekbone with her hand.
“The other rumors aren’t true either. …Most of them.”
Liene laughed at the one word Black added in an unsure tone.
“I know.”
“That’s a relief.”
Black held Liene in one arm and laid her back down on the bed.
“Can you sleep again?”
“No… I’m not really sleepy.”
“Then what should we do?”
That was a question that didn’t require any thought.
“Go take a shower.”
Black flinched.
“…Do I smell dusty to you?”
“No. But you should shower before getting into bed. Shower, and bring a blanket too. And a pillow.”
And hold me all night long. Very gently and warmly. So that I can forget everything else. Except for the desire to have you.
“Wait for me.”
Black leaned down and left a kiss on her nose. It seemed like he had chosen her nose because her lips hurt, and she felt like crying again.
“Come quickly.”
As Liene closed her eyes and murmured slowly, Black made some kind of noise between his teeth.
“…Then I can’t go. Don’t say anything else.”
Liene parted her slightly bruised lips and smiled silently. Black didn’t take his eyes off her until the smile disappeared. The persistent and ardent gaze was no different from a kiss. * * * Contrary to her words that she couldn’t sleep, Liene slept soundly without any dreams. When she woke up after sleeping deeply, it wasn’t dawn but late morning. When her drowsy eyelids opened on their own, the first thing she saw was, of course, Black’s face.
“Did you sleep well?”
Her eyes had opened too wide to say no.
“Yes.”
She was lying down, completely wrapped in Black’s arms as she had been then. Now that she was awake, she could feel that he was holding her tightly, and that the slight weight was pressing down on her body, but she had slept so soundly, which was also amazing.
“When did you wake up?”
“As usual.”
What time was that?
“Have you been here this long?”
“I don’t know how long it’s been. It wasn’t boring.”
Black brushed the eyelashes that were blinking diligently as they looked at him with his fingertips. As his fingertips brushed against her eyelashes, he smiled faintly.
“I don’t think I’ve ever seen such long eyelashes.”
“Really?”
“I wanted to keep touching them, but I was holding back because I thought I might wake you up.”
“You should have woken me up.”
Black’s eyebrows furrowed as if he had heard something absurd.
“…Don’t you want to sleep more?”
“I don’t think so. I think I’ve slept for more than a day. I should get up now.”
“You can sleep more.”
“That’s too lazy.”
“Is that not allowed?”
…That’s strange. Why does it seem like he wants me to sleep more? Wasn’t he waiting for me to wake up all this time?
“What are you going to do after you put me back to sleep?”
“What I've been doing.”
“What is that?”
“Appreciating.”
“……?”
Black's hand, which was lightly stroking her eyelashes, slowed down.
“The most beautiful thing I've ever seen in my life.”
Thump. A sound echoed from within her heart at those words. A sound like something falling downwards.
“The more Princess loafs around, the more precious time I have. So, indulge as much as you like. For me.”
“……”
Where did this man learn to say such things? He couldn't have learned it on the battlefield.
“That sounds like a lie.”
Liene was even more surprised by the words that suddenly popped out.
“It is not.”
“No, something else. You said I wouldn't be skilled because I don't have much experience.”
“……”
“That sounds like a lie. It sounds like you actually have a lot.”
Black's expression became slightly troubled. He swallowed dryly and pressed his lips to the crown of Liene's head.
“I also wanted to say that was a lie.”
“Ah, I knew it.”
“Let's pretend you didn't hear that. Because I'll find a way to be skilled no matter what.”
“……? Aren't you already skilled?”
“It would be nice if you thought so.”
Black trailed off ambiguously. As if to say that was enough, he slid his lips down to her forehead. The ticklish breath warming her forehead felt unbelievably blissful. That's why it felt like a waste. The thought that someone else might have experienced this before her.
“It's not good. There's no way that's good.”
Liene raised a finger and poked Black.
“I won't dwell on the past. Especially if it's something I don't know. But it's different when you say it yourself. You shouldn't say things like that.”
Black furrowed his brow as if the spot Liene poked really hurt, and replied.
“I agree, but I have my reasons.”
“A reason to boast about your past?”
“Because I don't want to be rejected again.”
“……?”
“It was Princess who said she couldn't allow someone who wasn't skilled……”
“Ah, stop.”
Liene hurriedly covered Black's mouth. Come to think of it, she did say that. …To hide her feelings. This is a disaster. How is she going to fix this?
“……That's not true.”
‘What isn't.’
The lips that touched her palm moved softly. She couldn't hear the sound, but strangely, she felt like she knew what he was saying.
“That's not…… what I meant.”
The more she spoke, the harder it was to make eye contact. Liene turned her head halfway, avoiding his gaze as she mumbled.
‘Tell me what you don't mean.’
“Whether you're skilled or not…… I don't even have the talent to judge that in the first place.”
‘……? Then why did you say that back then?’
“Because I didn't want to sleep with you.”
‘…….’
“Because…… I thought I'd get caught.”
‘Caught doing what?’
“That I have…… no experience.”
Once she said that, she really couldn't bear the embarrassment any longer. Liene turned her body, trying to escape from Black's arms.
“I should get up. I'll use the bathroom first.”
“Where do you think you're going.”
But it was a futile effort. Black very easily pulled Liene, who was trying to escape, back and trapped her with his body. It was surprising how comfortable she felt in a position where she could barely breathe.
“Please…… let me go. I'm too embarrassed right now……”
“I can't.”
“Why……”
“Because I can't just stand by after hearing those words.”
“I don't think you would……”
“Maybe not Princess, but I would.”
“Is that…… something to be happy about?”
“I don't think words can express it.”
Black remained in that position for a long time. He was so still that she even suspected he had frozen in place. But it was the opposite. Black wasn't frozen, but forcibly suppressing something trying to burst out.
“The thought I had to face every day after coming to Nauk was the regret that I was too late.”
Black slowly opened his mouth after quite some time.
“That I should have come sooner. That I should have known sooner. That I actually didn't want to lose anything.”
“You…… did?”
Liene, who already knew what it was, felt like her heart was being cut out. Her throat tightened, and Liene burrowed even deeper into Black's arms, which had no more room to spare.
“If that were the case, Princess wouldn't have held another human in her heart, and the time you had to endure me would have been shorter. I faced that thought every time.”
“I…… have nothing with that person……”
“That's why I can't believe it. That I've never actually lost anything.”
“……?”
Liene raised her head. To look at Black. What was this man saying now? What did he mean he hadn't lost anything? You lost everything you rightfully deserved, and you had to leave without even a name.
“You were always mine.”
He wasn't talking about the crown or status. He was talking about Liene herself. After finishing his words, Black lowered his body and kissed Liene's chest. On the left, where her heart was. So, the kiss he was giving now wasn't a sensual caress, but a reverent vow.
“I won't forget it, and I won't lose it.”
“……”
“Never again.”
Liene held her breath and waited until Black finished his kiss. It was the first time she realized that her heart could make such crazy noises. …Yeah. It was a good thing she didn't say anything. Whether it's greed or whatever, it's fine. I'm going to protect this, just like this. I'm never going to take anything away from this man again……. The moment Black let go, Liene grabbed him this time. The kiss they had postponed until tomorrow started today. The two stayed in the bedroom until the sun was high in the sky, causing others to worry unnecessarily.
