48 - Chapter 48
Ryan was the decisive factor in Gilia's defeat in this war. It was because he had figured out how to decipher the enemy's code just before the final battle.
Thanks to that, the Albion army realized that Gilia's military movement was a trick, and they quickly retreated all their forces, then moved to the side of the Gilia army's movement, and were able to carry out the final raid.
Didn't they even accurately target the unit where the Crown Prince of Gilia was and succeed in taking him prisoner?
<Bastard! Someday I will tear you apart and kill you myself!>
While captured, the Crown Prince of Gilia threw away all pretense and raged, spewing curses at Ryan.
At that time, his eyes glaring at Ryan were so murderous that all the soldiers next to him were nervous and kept their guns pointed at him, even though he was the Crown Prince.
Even after returning to his country during the prisoner exchange, it was rumored that the Crown Prince would grind his teeth and recite all the curses he knew whenever Ryan's name was mentioned.
If that was the case, his feelings towards Ryan would not have subsided even now, after the defeat negotiations were over.
'Either way, it's annoying.'
Ryan felt a sense of disillusionment rising from deep within.
Then he suddenly realized.
When he was in the capital, he would often be overwhelmed by this feeling, becoming indifferent to everything and even tired of life itself.
That hadn't changed much even after coming to Blissbury.
This quiet mansion eliminated distractions and allowed him to focus on himself. That's why it was even more poisonous to Ryan.
The thoughts he harbored were not mere distractions, but a deep sense of self-doubt about his own essence.
So, contrary to Lord Stanford's expectations, his condition had worsened, and he hadn't been able to eat properly...
'When did I start eating again?'
Ryan soon remembered when that was.
There was no way he could forget.
Eloise's figure, still happily eating apple pie alone, was vivid in his mind.
Not caring about the crumbs falling, she opened her mouth wide and munched on the pie, her mouth full.
At that time, for the first time since coming here, Ryan felt an appetite and hunger.
He still struggled for quite a while after that, but anyway, thanks to eating something that day, he gradually got better.
Then, when did he start eating properly again...?
"Ha."
Ryan chuckled as he recalled that it was the day Eloise had dinner at Blissbury.
That was the day he completely forgot about boredom.
From the day Eloise came to Blissbury, announcing Mr. Serverton's absence, Ryan forgot about boredom.
"..."
He had a crush on Eloise Suberton. A crush as a man.
Ryan was embarrassed by his feelings, which were now clearly defined.
It was the first time in his life that he had felt this kind of emotion.
"Eloise Suberton..."
Ryan murmured her name again. Had he ever spoken someone's name so slowly, savoring it like this?
Strangely, her name had a scent and a taste, so he murmured her name over and over again.
Then he felt the back of his neck getting hot. His heart was racing uncontrollably, and his lips kept drying out.
It was as if he was sick, his body was out of control and reacting on its own, but he didn't feel bad.
It felt like floating in warm water.
After being dazed for a long time, Ryan struggled to turn his eyes back to the letter.
If he stayed like this, he would be in this foolish state until sunrise, so he felt like he had to do something to bring his wandering mind back.
So, I sent the letter avoiding the eyes of others. The adjutant's younger sibling, that sibling's spouse, that spouse's cousin, that cousin's maid. And even the errand boy on the street that the maid called out to. In the meantime, it may have passed through the hands of others I don't even know about. I'm also curious to see where this letter will be postmarked. Anyway, there is still no basis for what I'm feeling. As you know, it's not uncommon for people like us to feel this way after the war. The doctor says it's just being overly sensitive, which made me so embarrassed.
A bitter smile appeared on Ryan's face.
As Lord Stanford said, after the war, there were many soldiers who claimed that someone was watching or following them. Doctors said it was a mental illness caused by excessive stress during the war.
Especially for people like Lord Stanford and Ryan, who had to worry about being bugged or followed all the time, it happened even more often.
But Ryan didn't think Lord Stanford's feeling was just a mood. If he felt that way, there must be something there.
Then Ryan saw the end of the letter.
Don't even think about using this letter as an excuse to return to the capital. Just reply that you're doing well.
Ryan smiled bitterly at that sentence.
As Lord Stanford said, if it were him in the past, he would have thought about returning to the capital as soon as he saw this letter, saying that he was worried.
But not now.
Even though he thought Lord Stanford's feeling was not just a mood, he didn't think about going up to the capital.
'At least the banquet should be over.'
Thinking that, Ryan chuckled.
He knew. The banquet was just an excuse. Even if there was no banquet, he would have stayed here. That was...
"..."
Again, the image of Eloise that he had imagined flashed through his mind.
The image of her dancing around, clapping her hands in a more cheerful manner than usual, as the dance music flowed.
It was a sight he wanted to see very much.
After holding Lord Stanford's letter for a long time, Ryan folded it, put it deep in the desk drawer as if hiding it, and then got up from his seat.
He thought about writing a reply right away, but it didn't seem like the right time now.
He walked out into the hallway with hurried steps, like someone who had something to do.
When he turned his head, he saw light seeping through the half-open door at the end of the hallway. A smile appeared on his face at the sight.
That was the room Eloise used.
She had been busier lately, so she was always working late. It seemed like she was still working today as well.
Ryan hurried his steps. If she wasn't asleep yet, he could talk to her for a bit.
Of course, if he went in, Eloise would always frown and look at him as if asking what he had come to say again.
Ryan liked the way Eloise looked at him like that.
She was always friendly and smiling to others, but only to him did she pout her lips and act sulky.
"Ahem."
Ryan stood in front of the room and deliberately cleared his throat loudly.
It wasn't like she had any documents to hide from him, but even if that wasn't the case, it was right to make a noise to give her time to tidy up anything she didn't want to show.
After clearing his throat a few more times, Ryan knocked lightly on the door.
"Eloise?"
By now, she should have told him to come in, but no sound came from inside.
Thinking that she might have left her seat for a moment, he peeked inside and clicked his tongue briefly.
Inside the room, Eloise was asleep with her back against the sofa.
Had she been reviewing something until just before she fell asleep? She still had a piece of paper in her hand.
"Eloise."
Ryan stood in front of the door and called out to Eloise. But her tightly closed eyes didn't move at all.
Knowing that she was sleeping more deeply than he had thought, Ryan hesitated for a moment.
Entering a lady's room without permission was an unspeakable discourtesy. No, the expression "discourtesy" was not enough; it could even be called a shameless act.
So, he knew that he should close the door and go back, but...
'I guess I should wake her up and tell her to sleep in bed.'
Eloise had been falling asleep late at night more often lately. He was worried that she might collapse before the banquet even started.
Ryan silenced his footsteps and approached, looking at Eloise from a few steps away.
As he looked again, it was the same. Her complexion was not as good as it had been a few days ago, and her skin seemed rougher. The dark circles under her eyes also seemed darker.
'Maybe she should rest a bit.'
But during the day, Eloise was literally flying around Blissbury, as busy as could be.
As if she had been the owner of this place since birth.
Ryan was going to tell Lord Stanford how much Eloise truly loved and cherished this mansion when he met him.
Then, even if Mr. Serverton became senile and quit being the manager someday, Eloise would be able to help manage this place.
At that moment, Eloise slowly began to open her eyes. Her long eyelashes fluttered slightly, and as her eyelids rose, his reflection was cast in her round green eyes.
The moment Ryan saw her round green eyes, which contained only him, he thought.
I want to see this sight for the rest of my life.
