Ch#55
“What makes you think that?”
Rosalyn asked, turning her head toward her sister. Andreana continued, her eyes fixed on the ceiling.
“Luke said you only married the Duke because of us. He said it would be good for the three of us if you became a Duchess. And that it would let Papa remarry Mrs. Selma without any trouble.”
Rosalyn suppressed a sigh. Lucas, the third child, had the sharpest eyes and tongue among the siblings. Though, as his sister had advised him, he usually kept his thoughts to himself.
“That’s not true. He has it all wrong.”
“The more I think about it, the more I think he’s right. The Duke didn’t even propose to you himself. What kind of man in this world sends a lawyer to propose for him?”
“There were circumstances behind that.”
“What circumstances?”
Andreana snapped her head around to look at her. Even in the dim light, the blue of her irises shimmered. Of the four siblings, her younger sister resembled their late mother the most.
“You’ll learn this later, but marriage isn’t such a simple matter.”
Rosalyn softened her voice, speaking as if to soothe her—or perhaps as if making an excuse.
“I’m doing very well here. Everyone is kind to me. You saw it yourself, didn’t you? So don’t think such things, Andy.”
Andreana peered into her sister’s eyes with a skeptical look. Rosalyn met her gaze, hoping to appear as sincere as possible. After studying her face for a long moment, instead of pressing further, her sister curled up like a child and burrowed into her arms.
Rosalyn opened her arms willingly. As she gently patted her sister’s back, she felt a sense of relief that the difficult questions were over. She was also grateful that her youngest sister was still young and naive.
“I’m scared, Rosy.”
Andreana whispered, burying her face against Rosalyn’s chest.
“I don’t want to get married. I’m scared of having children. What if I end up like Mama?”
“Don’t say such silly things.”
Rosalyn replied firmly, stroking her sister’s hair.
So that was it. Because her older sister had married, she thought she was next, and that had made her fearful and depressed.
Rosalyn closed her eyes while holding her grown sister in her arms.
Andreana had been only three years old back then. She was too young to remember. She wouldn’t know the birthing chamber where their mother lay, or the smell of that damp, metallic air.
What a blessing that was.
“You’ll be fine. Don’t worry.”
Rosalyn spoke softly. She offered her sister the words she always told herself, the words she usually kept inside. The words she had repeated countless times to soothe herself whenever she found the reality of her situation difficult or frightening.
“It’s okay. Don’t worry. Nothing will happen.”
Andreana, listening quietly in her arms, hugged her tighter. In that moment, Rosalyn felt a sudden surge of tears and had to steady her emotions while holding the sister clinging to her. It wasn’t simply because she felt pity or sorrow for her sister.
It was the warmth filling her arms. The scent of someone familiar. It was so welcoming and moving that it brought her to tears. It had only been a month since she married, yet she realized how much she had missed this.
At the same time, she realized why she loved weak things.
They needed her. There was always a place for her beside the weak. Those who waited for her care, who wished to be held by her, and who, in turn, became beings that comforted Rosalyn herself.
Rosalyn wanted to be someone significant. Even if she couldn’t bring about grand changes like a great hero, she wanted to be meaningful to someone, to something. She wanted to fill a void and have her own void filled. The emotion that weak things stirred in her was, in truth, no different from that.
The certainty that she was making a difference to something, that she was an essential presence somewhere.
Could I ever be such a presence to you?
Rosalyn thought with her eyes closed. She looked back on the time she had spent searching for a crack in that man’s armor. A month into their marriage, the conclusion she had reached was this:
Gerard Glenn was a strong man. A man who lacked for nothing.
There was no gap for her to slip into when it came to strong things. There was no place for her inside that man.
“Rosy. Can’t I go to university instead of getting married?”
Rosalyn opened her eyes at Andreana’s cautious question. University, out of nowhere. It seemed like something she had been seriously weighing for a while, but it was so unexpected that a small laugh escaped Rosalyn.
“Do you think you can even pass the entrance exam?”
“Princess Josephine said I could get in if I paid a donation.”
“That’s for the House of Mendel. Our family’s finances wouldn’t allow it. And even if we had the money, Father would never give his permission.”
Alfred Fairfield was an ordinary nobleman. An utterly typical noble male who believed his daughters should never leave the mansion without an escort or guardian. Would such a father send his youngest daughter to university alone? Rosalyn couldn’t imagine it.
“Then again, who knows? If you pass the exam on your own merit, he might give his permission.”
She added it belatedly, feeling guilty for crushing her sister’s hopes so ruthlessly, but she knew her sister would never pass in the first place. University? With Andreana’s passion for study and level of focus, it was out of the question.
“Go to sleep now. It’s late.”
“Mmm,” Andreana made a childlike sound and wiggled under the covers. The sisters tried to sleep, held in each other’s arms beneath the soft duvet. Rosalyn closed her eyes, her cheek pressed against her sister’s blonde hair.
The warmth of another person was comforting. It felt as though she might finally sleep peacefully tonight.
Everyone in the House of Glenn agreed that the reason this year’s family concert was grander than usual was thanks to the new Duchess.
The caliber of the invited conductor alone was on a different level. It was nothing short of astonishing that Rudolf Aschenbach—a composer so favored by the Empress that he had been granted a knighthood and a residence within the Imperial Palace—had traveled all the way to the North just to conduct a chamber orchestra of thirty-five people.
Of course, the Duchess couldn’t have done it alone. How could someone from a peripheral Viscount’s family have connections with someone like Aschenbach? The Glenn family members also agreed that the Duke must have put in the effort to help his wife save face.
Are they really on such good terms? Naomi tried to hide the disappointment that threatened to leak out.
“You’ve prepared a truly wonderful event, Duchess.”
“Thank you, Lady Naomi. I’m glad you’re enjoying it.”
“The Duchess must have quite a deep appreciation for music. To think we would see Aschenbach here.”
“I heard the Duchess is a wonderful pianist; I hope I’ll have the chance to hear you play myself.”
Every time she called Rosalyn ‘Duchess,’ and every time Rosalyn was called ‘Duchess’ by someone else, Naomi tried to smile more naturally.
She knew how people had looked at her since the Duke’s marriage. Whether they pitied her for losing her chance at becoming the Duchess or were secretly gloating, she couldn’t give them anything to chew on.
“How are both your sons so handsome? Naomi, you’re so lucky. What is there left for you to worry about?”
“Are you and your husband still getting along well? My husband said he saw Alex a few days ago. Said he was at the department store alone.”
“He must have been buying a gift for his wife. How thoughtful of him.”
Dealing with her sly aunt-in-law and cousin-in-laws was no longer even unpleasant. She knew their marriages weren’t much different. Family is always the worst; they are the ones who are more intensely jealous and more likely to gloat.
Yet, in this subtle war of nerves where they provoked one another, the Duchess was the exception. No one dared to speak such petty words to the new mistress of Maxville. The woman who smiled beautifully, acted with elegance, and flaunted her happiness while being escorted by her husband appeared flawless and beyond reproach.
The Duke and Duchess of Windberg looked perfect. It was as if Gerard had summoned the entire family just to put his affection for his wife on display. However, that overly perfect appearance actually gave Naomi a glimmer of hope.
A person who is truly fulfilled doesn’t show off. You only boast to hide what’s lacking.
The family concert was a combination of a recital and a ball; the banquet began after two symphonies were finished. It was the part of the evening where everyone asked after each other’s well-being and engaged in psychological warfare against the backdrop of gentle music. On the surface, it was a time for strengthening family bonds.
“Tell us a bit about your life as a newlywed, Duchess. You must brag to everyone about how happy you are.”
Naomi Glenn did not miss this golden opportunity to satisfy her curiosity.
