76 - The Evil Husband (15th Anniversary Edition) Chapter 76
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Episode 76
Because everyone had their own work, it was difficult for all the knights to gather. Eileen didn't feel compelled to call them, so she asked only the one with the most free time to come.
So that evening, Lotan came to find Eileen.
[I'm sorry for calling you so suddenly.]
Eileen looked at him with a look of both gratitude and apology. Lotan furrowed his thick eyebrows and spoke as if he didn't understand.
“If the Grand Duchess calls you, shouldn’t you come?”
He told her not to apologize for something like this, and instead reprimanded her. Eileen nodded vigorously at his words.
Then she cleared her throat for a long time. What she wanted to say just now couldn't be written down on paper. Eileen whispered softly, her voice cracking.
“Cesare… almost killed me.”
She knew that Eileen had been injured by Cesare, but she didn't seem to know the details. Eileen spoke again, straining her voice to Lotan, who was frozen with wide eyes.
“Then you harmed yourself in front of me.”
A distinct frown appeared on Lotan's face. Eileen took a sip of warm tea to soothe her sore throat before continuing.
“I’m worried that something like this will happen again… If this continues, Cesare will get seriously injured.”
Eileen drank her tea again. Her throat felt much better after sipping the warm tea.
While Eileen diligently cleared her throat, Lotan let out a long, heavy sigh.
“Eileen.”
He spoke in a somewhat pained voice, his face twisted enough to distort the burn scar.
“Please put your own safety first.”
It wasn't much different from what Cesare had said. Eileen wrote "I'll try" on a piece of paper and showed it to him. Lotan still looked dissatisfied, but didn't say anything else.
“If you know anything about Cesare’s condition… please let me know…”
I asked if there was any clue as to why he was self-harming. But even though Eileen endured the pain in her throat, she pleaded with him, and Lotan remained silent.
Although blunt, he was always gentle and affectionate towards Irene. He was always the first to speak, and he enjoyed conversing with her, so it was rare for him to remain silent for such a long time.
From his silence, Eileen could sense that Lotan knew something, but was unable to easily tell her.
'It's stuffy.'
There must have been a clear reason for her hesitation, but the frustration was unavoidable. Eileen bit her lip, then, listlessly moving her fountain pen, asked another question.
[So what should I do in the future? If something similar happens again.]
“…if something like that happens again.”
Lotan, who had been staring blankly at the scraggly handwriting, finally opened his mouth. But he made a remark Irene had never expected.
“Stab Cesare with your sword.”
Eileen's lips parted involuntarily. Towards her stunned face, Lotan continued his absurd logic in a remarkably rational tone.
“You must stab him with the determination to kill him. Only then will he come to his senses.”
He even added an explanation that since Eileen wouldn't die even if she stabbed him anyway, he could act with peace of mind. Eileen swung her fountain pen faster than ever before.
[How can I do that? I absolutely can't do it. I'm not confident.]
Lotan carefully read the hastily written, poorly spelled text and offered a new suggestion.
“Are you not confident? Then why not try some training?”
At the suggestion that he'd teach her how to use a sword, Eileen shook her head. The conversation was completely out of sync. Eileen stared at Lotan, sweat dripping down her face.
Lotan's face was devoid of any humor. He spoke with pure sincerity. After discussing for a while how to stab Cesare, he finally returned to the original topic.
"We can't tell you anything yet. But we can assure you of one thing."
His face was just as serious as when he told her to stab Cesare.
"Cesare, under no circumstances would you want Eileen to be hurt. Absolutely not."
"That's why I suggested you stab him with a knife," Lotan explained. Despite his stern advice, Eileen shook her head. That was something she absolutely could not do. Ultimately, the conversation ended without any further discussion.
Eileen, who had almost called a busy person to give her a swordsmanship lesson, saw off Lotan as he left, all the way to the mansion.
As I watched the car with Lotan depart, a complex series of thoughts crossed my mind. Sonio quietly approached Irene, who was lost in thought, and offered her a word.
“His Majesty has returned home. He is in the courtyard. Would you like to visit him?”
Normally, when Cesare returned home to the Grand Duke's residence, he would first visit Irene to greet her. But judging by Sonio's announcement of his return, it seemed he wouldn't be coming to see me today. I'd guess he wouldn't even come into the bedroom.
'I didn't even see you this morning.'
Looking back, it was always Cesare who came to me first, even though we were living in the same house as the Archduchess.
Today, I could go see him first. Eileen thanked Sonio and headed to the courtyard where Cesare was.
The courtyard at night wasn't too dark, thanks to the lights scattered throughout. The moonlight was also bright, allowing a clear view of the surroundings. Eileen crept stealthily across the courtyard.
The grand duke's residence was of considerable size, and so was the courtyard. As the most visible space for guests entering the mansion, it was also the area the grand duke's gardeners meticulously maintained. Not a single blade of grass or flower was planted in vain.
Because it was filled with precious ornamental plants, whenever Eileen had to stroll through the garden, she would always start with the courtyard. It was always a delight to the eyes, but now, her gaze was drawn nowhere.
Cesare was under the orange tree in the courtyard. He was leaning against the tree, smoking a cigarette with an expressionless face.
체자레가 담배를 피우는 모습을 처음으로 보게 된 아일린은 저도 모르게 걸음을 멈췄다. 붉은 눈이 아일린을 향했다. 진즉부터 아일린의 기척을 알고 있었던 듯, 그는 보고도 놀라는 기색이 없었다.
묘한 정적이 감돌았다. 체자레는 담배를 아래로 내리며, 고개를 옆으로 틀어 연기를 뱉었다. 그런 다음 옆에 놓인 장식물에 담배를 비벼 껐다.
그의 행동을 보고 나서야, 아일린은 오렌지나무 아래에 기둥처럼 솟아 있던 장식물이 재떨이였음을 알게 되었다.
가볍게 손으로 옷을 털어 낸 체자레가 다시 아일린에게 시선을 주었다. 아일린은 머뭇거리며 그에게 다가갔다. 체자레는 아일린이 다가올 때까지 그저 가만히 서 있기만 했다.
아일린은 체자레의 앞에 서서 그를 올려다보다가 살짝 숨을 들이마셨다. 체자레에게서 담배 냄새가 났다. 그가 흡연하는 모습을 본 것도, 담배 냄새를 맡은 것도 처음이었다.
낯선 체자레를 앞에 두고서, 아일린은 잠시 눈을 깜빡이고만 있었다. 무어라 대화를 시작해야 할지 선뜻 떠오르지 않는 탓이었다.
분명 자연스럽게 저녁 인사를 하며 말문을 열 생각이었는데, 막상 체자레 앞에서는 입술이 딱 다물렸다. 그가 오늘따라 낯선 모습을 하고 있어서 그럴지도 몰랐다.
한참 그렇게 보고만 있자, 어느 순간 체자레가 허리를 숙여 몸을 기울였다.
“왜 다른 사람을 불러.”
얼굴을 가까이한 채, 그는 아일린의 뺨을 어루만지며 나직하게 말했다.
“남편한테 직접 묻지 않고.”
아일린은 침을 꼴딱 삼켰다. 오늘 하루 열심히 차도 마시고 약도 마시고 했더니 목 상태는 훨씬 나아졌다. 목소리가 여전히 잠기기는 했어도 말할 때 심한 통증은 없었다. 그래도 최대한 목소리가 갈라지지 않도록 노력하며 물었다.
“물어보면 알려 주시나요?”
아일린의 목을 유심하게 바라보던 체자레가 여상하게 답했다.
“내가 알려 주고 싶은 것만.”
아일린은 잔뜩 긴장하면서도 용기를 내어 청했다.
“손바닥 보여 주세요.”
그는 선선히 장갑을 벗어 손바닥을 내보였다. 레터 나이프로 자해했던 상처는 말끔히 사라져 있었다. 아일린은 가만히 손바닥을 보다가 다시금 체자레를 올려다보았다. 체자레는 아일린의 시선을 피하지 않았다.
지금 그에게 묻지 않으면 영영 기회를 놓쳐 버릴 것만 같은 기분이 들었다. 아일린은 그의 손을 꼭 붙든 채로 물었다.
“벽돌집에서는… 왜 그러셨어요?”
바람이 불었다. 오렌지나무의 잎사귀가 바람결에 쓸려 파도와 같은 소리를 내었다. 체자레는 눈 한 번 깜빡이지 않고 빤히 아일린을 보았다.
답해 주지 않으리라 여겼으나, 그는 선선하게 말문을 열었다. 타인의 이야기를 하듯 건조한 어조였다.
“예전에 너와 벽돌집에서 함께 지냈던 꿈을 꾸었던 적이 있어.”
그가 붙잡히지 않은 손을 뻗어 아일린의 붕대를 풀었다. 목을 감싼 매듭을 한 손으로 능숙하게 풀어 헤쳤다.
“긴 꿈이었지. 오래도록 꿈속에 갇혀 헤맸는데, 그곳에서 나오려면.”
스르륵, 하얀 붕대가 늘어지며 그 아래 숨겨져 있던 상흔이 드러났다. 붉은 손자국을 보며 체자레가 말했다.
“너를 죽여야 했거든.”
“…….”
“But yesterday, I couldn’t distinguish between dream and reality for a moment…”
Cesare trailed off, a rare occurrence for him, and gave a faint smile. He wore a composed expression, but even Aileen could see the dryness and brokenness in his eyes.
Looking at his broken eyes, her heart ached as if she were clutching shards of glass in her bare hand. Aileen swallowed the throbbing pain in her chest and opened her lips.
“…That was a dream. Not the real me.”
She didn't want him to be hurt and tormented by nothing more than her illusion. Aileen gripped his hand as tightly as she could and whispered.
“I’m here now, Cesare.”
