Chapter 56
“Yes. I’m nourishing myself with the herbs that sister Sara sends, but that alone isn’t enough to perfectly heal that child’s spirit core.”
“But if you give that to the young lady…… Are you really all right with it, Patriarch?”
“What wouldn’t be all right about it? It’s only natural for a father to give his daughter the very best he can. In fact, it’s something to be happy about.”
Sa-eon said it as if it were no big deal.
But Jeokyeong’s retort was filled with worry.
“But that Dragon Blood Grass was your only hope for healing your own spirit core, wasn’t it? Even now, every full moon night, you stay up all night in your office…….”
‘……!’
Thud!
In an instant, Soya’s heart plummeted.
“It’s fine. I’m an adult. I’m strong. I can endure it. But the cotton ball is still too young.”
“Even so…….”
Sa-eon and Jeokyeong continued their conversation, but it no longer reached Soya’s ears.
‘The thing I ate…… was the only way to heal Sa-eon-nim’s spirit core?’
Soya’s eyes shook mercilessly as she mulled over what she had heard.
She didn’t know the details, but it seemed Sa-eon-nim’s spirit core was in a lot of pain.
And the only way to heal it had been the tonic she’d eaten today, so Sa-eon-nim had lost his chance at healing his aching spirit core forever.
‘I…… had no idea…….’
She hadn’t known and had gulped it down so eagerly.
It was a gift from Sa-eon-nim, and she’d eaten it with such excitement.
‘How stupid…….’
A surge of emotion welled up inside her.
She’d wanted to be helpful to Sa-eon-nim and his clan. She’d wanted to repay his kindness as soon as possible.
Instead, she’d only made things harder for him.
‘What do I do? What should I do? Because of me…….’
Why did she always end up being a burden to Sa-eon-nim?
She’d wanted to be a good, praiseworthy child.
She’d wanted to be a helpful child.
In her distress, Soya stomped her feet, then suddenly looked down at her palm as a thought flashed through her mind.
[Try not to use this flame if possible. Save it for when it’s truly needed.]
I-rim oppa had told her to cherish this flame. But……
‘A moment when it’s truly needed. This is it.’
With her resolve hardened, Soya left her room.
She couldn’t let anyone notice, so Soya waited in her room until night had fallen deeply.
Pretending to sleep under the covers, she got up the moment Yeon-jeong put out the lights and left.
She secretly grabbed the White Tiger Sword and slipped out into the corridor.
Passing Gayul’s room, passing Gahyeon’s room, she arrived at Sa-eon’s darkened bedroom.
Soya very carefully opened the door and went inside.
Drawing the White Tiger Sword, she looked at her palm and swallowed hard.
‘It’s going to hurt a lot.’
Even with her determination, she couldn’t help feeling scared now that the moment had come.
Truth be told, she was a coward who cried even over the tiniest scratch.
‘How did I-rim oppa do it……?’
The good thing was, it didn’t seem to require a lot of blood.
‘Last time I was hurt, even a slight scrape was enough to purify Seolyo.’
Soya squeezed her eyes shut and pricked the tip of her index finger with the sword’s point.
“Ow.”
The moment a drop of blood beaded on her fingertip, Soya dropped the White Tiger Sword.
Clang!
At the metallic crash, Sa-eon’s eyes snapped open.
“Cotton ball……?”
“Ah, Sa-eon-nim. I…….”
It was the moment Soya hurriedly tried to make some excuse.
Poof—!
A tiny flame bloomed above Soya’s palm.
In an instant, Soya’s face lit up.
“Fire……?”
Soya directed the purifying flame toward the bewildered Sa-eon.
The flame floated up into the air and seeped into the area around his heart.
“What is this……?”
“It’s my unique ability. Actually, it’s not purification—it’s borrowing another power. They call this the ‘Flame that Purifies All’!”
To the utterly confused Sa-eon, Soya explained while conveniently omitting the part about needing blood as a medium.
“It’s a power that heals all pain!”
But something was off.
Normally, he would have praised his clever cotton ball, but Sa-eon’s expression grew increasingly grave.
Whoosh—!
Suddenly, he seized Soya’s wrist.
Her hand was exposed, revealing the wound on her fingertip and the bright red drop of blood.
Soya startled and tried to hide her hand, but she failed.
“Cotton ball, you.”
The wound wasn’t large, but it was clearly from being stabbed with a sword.
Taking in Soya’s injury and the White Tiger Sword on the floor, Sa-eon grasped the situation and asked in a frightening voice.
“What’s this wound? Don’t tell me…… you did this to yourself?”
“Ah, well…….”
Soya hesitated, glancing at his face, then confessed.
“The truth is, my unique ability isn’t perfect yet, so I have to use blood as a medium…….”
“Why would you do that?”
Sa-eon’s face hardened as he cut her off.
Soya’s heart sank.
It was the first time Sa-eon-nim had ever spoken to her with such a scary face and stern voice.
He’d always praised whatever she did, saying she’d done well, so seeing him like this made her feel a little hurt.
“Why are you talking to me with such a scary face?”
I did it for Sa-eon-nim.
So I wouldn’t be a burden to him.
To protect him.
To repay his kindness.
That’s why I did it.
“You gave up the Dragon Blood Grass for me. I wanted to help you too, Sa-eon-nim. I wanted to repay your kindness.”
Unknowingly, a resentful edge crept into her voice.
“Repay my kindness?”
As if he’d heard something he shouldn’t have, Sa-eon’s face twisted sharply.
Sa-eon naturally had a cold, aloof demeanor.
When he dropped the gentle smile he always wore around Soya and let his expression crumple, he looked utterly fierce.
Just as Soya instinctively took a step back.
“No one ever asked you to repay any kindness.”
Sa-eon said in a voice like he was grinding his teeth in anger.
“You’re a child. Still a child. You don’t need to do anything—just existing is enough to be loved. That’s what you are.”
Normally, Soya would have bowed her head at those words.
But she couldn’t this time. She didn’t.
That because she was a child, she didn’t have to do anything to be loved?
But that hadn’t been true before.
No one had loved her no matter what she did—they’d only hated her.
Of course, it wasn’t Sa-eon-nim’s fault. Or hers.
It was all the people at Zhuque Mansion, her ‘real family,’ who had said so.
Even knowing she shouldn’t, Soya’s sense of injustice made her voice rise.
“Why should a child not have to do anything?”
Ah, no, I shouldn’t.
“Children can protect adults too, just like how Sa-eon-nim protected me!”
I shouldn’t raise my voice to Sa-eon-nim like this.
“I can protect you too, Sa-eon-nim!”
Sa-eon-nim isn’t wrong. I shouldn’t get angry at him.
“Why are you saying I don’t have to do anything for you, Sa-eon-nim!”
It had been so long since she’d shouted like that. Soya panted heavily.
A brief silence fell.
As her ragged breathing gradually calmed, rationality returned to Soya all at once, and she froze.
What had she just done?
I yelled at Sa-eon-nim.
Sa-eon-nim did nothing wrong, and I knew that, but I yelled anyway.
Fear suddenly bloomed across the child’s face.
Not only had she been nothing but a burden despite all his kindness, now she’d even yelled at him.
W-what do I do?
I-I have to apologize quickly. If I don’t, he’ll…… Sa-eon-nim will hate me too.
No.
I don’t want that.
I don’t want Sa-eon-nim to hate me.
Plunged into panic in an instant, Soya stammered excuses with trembling breaths.
“S-Sa-eon-nim. That just now, I didn’t mean to yell…….”
It was then.
“Soya.”
Sa-eon knelt down to meet her eyes, then gently wiped the tears from the corners with his fingertips.
“Don’t cry.”
“……?”
At his words, Soya touched her own face.
It was wet.
“Sniff……!”
Only then did she realize she was crying and sucked in a sob.
“You asked why you don’t have to do anything for me.”
Sa-eon spoke to her reddened eyes with a pained voice.
“Because I’m your dad.”
“……!”
Soya’s throat bobbed strongly at his words, even as she tried to swallow her tears.
“No father in the world wants his daughter to sacrifice herself. Not just me—every father feels the same.”
“…….”
“No father wants his daughter to hurt or to wound herself. Kindness? Real parents love their children unconditionally, without needing anything in return, even if the child does nothing.”
“But, sob, that person…….”
At Soya’s tearful voice, one of Sa-eon’s eyebrows shot up crookedly.
“That’s why that person is fake.”
Sa-eon said firmly, then added.
“I’m real.”
“Sniff, hic, yes. You’re right, Sa-eon-nim. Everything you say is right.”
Soya bit her lower lip hard to hold back her tears and nodded.
But she couldn’t stop the sobs leaking through her clenched teeth.
“So, Soya. Never use that power again. If it can only be used by hurting yourself, it’s better not to have it at all.”
“Then, hic, what can I do for you, Sa-eon-nim?”
To his tearful question, Sa-eon grinned and replied.
“Call me Father. Or Daddy would be even better.”
