Chapter 37
Kneeling down in front of the child to meet her eye level, he looked straight into her face and asked.
“Uh, um… that is…”
Soya hesitated for a moment before clutching the hem of her clothes tightly and answering.
“…Yes.”
Her responding voice was small and raspy, as if it had been squeezed out.
The truth was, she didn’t want to leave.
‘Still, this is good. I thought I’d have to go without even saying goodbye, but I got to see your face one more time.’
Soya tried her best to think positively.
She was upset that her secret had been found out, but even so, this was a good thing.
“No. That’s not allowed. Don’t leave, cotton ball.”
At Sa-eon’s voice—flat and emotionless yet urgently pressing—Soya lifted her head.
“Yes…?”
“You permitted it yourself. You said it was okay if I stole you away. That’s why I did, so you can’t go changing your mind and running off now.”
“But back then… you clearly said to stay for the time being…”
“Me?”
“Yes.”
“I never…”
“‘It’s not a bother at all, so don’t worry and stay here for a while.’ That’s what you said.”
“…”
For a moment, the corners of Sa-eon’s eyes crinkled faintly.
Right. He had said something like that.
It hadn’t carried much weight when he’d said it, so he’d forgotten.
He hadn’t realized the child had memorized it word for word, repeating it to herself obsessively as she thought about the day she’d leave.
“…To make you misunderstand like that. What a mad tiger I am.”
His murmuring voice was thick with self-reproach directed at himself.
Sa-eon knew. This was all because he hadn’t given Soya any certainty.
Above all, hadn’t he himself failed to decide what to do about the child’s fate?
So this was all his fault.
“I’m sorry, cotton ball.”
Sa-eon knelt before Soya and apologized calmly.
“This is all my fault.”
“Sa-eon-nim…!”
Soya startled upright in shock.
“Why are you on your knees…! Th-the floor is cold. Hurry and…”
Soya flailed her feet, not knowing what to do.
But Sa-eon remained kneeling before her, lifting only his head to gaze up at the child.
“I brought you here and failed to take proper responsibility. I made a child like you so anxious that you even thought of leaving alone.”
“N-no, that’s not it! I…”
“I promise you, cotton ball. I won’t make you anxious ever again. I’ll become a better adult.”
Soya, who had been frantically waving her hands, paused at Sa-eon’s low, weighty voice.
“So not just ‘for the time being’—stay here with me from now on, always.”
“…!”
Soya’s eyes widened round.
From now on, always, together here?
But what about Siyo-nim?
Siyo-nim would be uncomfortable with me…
Besides, I…
Soya stared blankly at Sa-eon before asking cautiously.
“…Weren’t you disappointed in me?”
“Why would I be disappointed in you, cotton ball?”
“Well, because… like Siyo-nim said, I’m a bad child who stole someone else’s place… And just now, your face…”
Soya’s voice grew smaller, as if crawling away.
“You looked so disappointed… You weren’t even smiling…”
Soya recalled how Sa-eon’s face had stiffened rigidly when Siyo had revealed her secret shame.
He always gave her a gentle smile whenever their eyes met, despite his otherwise cold impression, so she hadn’t known his unsmiling face could be so frightening.
That was why Soya thought Sa-eon was disappointed and angry with her.
After all, she was a sinner who had stolen someone else’s life, yet shamelessly hidden her past and followed him all the way to Baekho Palace.
But Sa-eon shook his head and answered softly.
“It wasn’t disappointment in you. If I seemed disappointed, it was disappointment in myself, not you.”
“…?”
“For not figuring out the hardships you endured in the Zhuque Clan. That’s what I was disappointed about.”
“…That’s such a weird thing to say.”
Sa-eon gave a wry smile at Soya’s bewildered expression, as she clearly didn’t understand, and added,
“And I didn’t smile because it was pathetic to learn about it so late, through someone else’s words.”
“…”
“Because it hurt that I couldn’t realize the wounds you’d suffered beforehand.”
“…”
“And thinking of you suffering for such a trivial reason—it broke my heart. That’s why I couldn’t smile.”
“…”
Her tiny lips, like a baby bird’s beak, parted slightly.
Soya still couldn’t comprehend Sa-eon’s words.
Upset and heartbroken because of me? That’s why he didn’t smile?
Perhaps Sa-eon-nim hadn’t paid any attention at all to what Siyo-nim had said just now.
He didn’t understand what she’d done in the Zhuque Clan, how bad it was, or why she’d run away.
“It’s not just some trivial reason. I… I stole someone else’s life!”
So she had to explain it herself.
That she was a very bad child.
So there was no need for him to be upset or heartbroken because of her.
“They said it was because of me that Lady Riri grew up without parents! That her body was weak because of me, and that the Patriarch and the Young Masters suffered because of me… all of it!”
It was so strange.
She was just stating the facts, so why did her throat burn so hot and feverish?
Why was she clenching her fists like this, raising her voice like some excited person?
And why was Sa-eon-nim looking at her with such pained eyes…?
“Why would it be your fault?”
Why was he speaking in such a heartbroken voice…?
“You’re just a baby cotton ball who’s barely nine years old. You must have been switched with that family’s daughter when you were much younger. So how could that be your fault?”
“But… but everyone said so. The Patriarch, the Young Masters, even the Gaboks… they all said it was my fault…”
Soya’s stammering voice gradually took on a sobbing tone.
“So I have to repay this sin to Lady Riri my whole life. I have to hurt and grieve just as much as I made her sad…”
“So.”
Sa-eon cut her off, clenching his fist painfully as he asked.
“Did the people of the Zhuque Clan hurt you?”
Yeon-jeong’s report came to mind—that there were signs of abuse on the cotton ball’s body.
Sara’s words came to mind—that her Spirit Core had been absent for a long time.
The Samjok-o from the Zhuque Clan who had attacked the child on the day they first met came to mind.
The truth spilled by the girl from the silver tiger clan just now explained all those connections.
“They said it was natural for people to hate and torment me, so I had to endure it.”
Soya answered in a sad voice.
‘Damn chicken-headed bastards.’
Sa-eon swallowed down his surging rage with effort.
She’d taken the Zhuque Clan youngest daughter’s position and impersonated their daughter before being chased out, hadn’t she?
The child had probably been switched at a very young age.
She likely hadn’t even known she was the switched one.
But even if this child had been swapped with the Zhuque Clan’s real daughter, how could that be her fault?
A little thought would show it wasn’t the child’s fault at all, yet they’d cowardly dumped all their tragedy onto this little girl.
And so Soya, at such a young age, had endured people’s torment for that absurd reason.
Without even knowing it was wrong.
“Listen well, cotton ball. Everything you went through in the Zhuque Clan—it was all wrong.”
Then he had to let this child know.
“No one has the right to torment you, and it’s not justified.”
“But…”
“You did nothing wrong. They’re the ones who were wrong, not you.”
“But, but…”
The child’s eyes reddened, and soon thick teardrops welled up.
Until now, Soya had believed it was all her fault.
She was a naughty baby bird who’d stolen Lady Riri’s place. So it was natural for everyone to hate and dislike her.
That was why she’d endured their sharp criticisms and torments without shedding a tear, silently bearing it all.
But Sa-eon said none of it was her fault.
He said she’d done nothing wrong, and the ones who tormented her were the wrong ones.
‘It wasn’t my fault. I didn’t do anything wrong.’
The moment she chewed over those words.
Plop—
The teardrops gathered at the corners of Soya’s eyes burst forth.
Plop, plop, plop—
“Everyone, sob, everyone said it was my fault, sniff… No one ever took my side, hic… Not even Father or brother Hwayu—they all said it was Soya’s fault, but why…?”
Soya sobbed as she asked.
“Why do you say it’s not my fault, Sa-eon-nim? Sob? Why are you the only one taking my side?”
“Because the world you lived in until now was wrong.”
At that calm voice, Soya’s pupils shook violently.
“Sniff, uu, u…”
The sobs she’d been holding back leaked through her lips.
“So from now on, I’ll show you the right world.”
“Waaah!”
In the end, her pent-up wails burst out.
“Soya…!”
Gahyeon, who had been watching quietly from the corner ever since Sa-eon appeared, darted forward and gently wiped the tears from Soya’s wet eyes with his sleeve cuff.
“So be my daughter, cotton ball.”
Sa-eon tapped the tip of Soya’s reddened nose and smiled faintly.
