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Translator: Vine
Chapter: 58
Chapter Title: A Friend's Concern
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“Why?”
Eaton was a young boy. Besides, we had just finished discussing our verbal agreement. The chances of him being disrespectful were slim to none.
“Because he’s a man.”
The reason he stated so confidently was absurd. Unlike before, an awkward silence fell between us.
“…He’s not a woman, is he.”
I murmured, my voice tinged with amusement.
Realizing the contradiction in his own words, the tips of Darcy’s ears turned bright red.
I tried to salvage the situation for him.
“Well, yes, he is male, but…”
“No. It’s fine. Don’t try to make excuses for me. It only makes it more embarrassing.”
The way he kept avoiding my gaze was almost cute. I never thought I’d see this side of Darcy. I burst out laughing.
“I wasn’t trying to be funny.”
Darcy shot me a sideways glance and picked up the coat that was still draped over my shoulders.
“I should go.”
“Okay. I’ll write to you tomorrow.”
Darcy nodded, fiddling with the ring on his finger before turning his head.
“This is the kind of concern friends can have for each other, right?”
It wasn’t an excuse directed at me, but a question seeking agreement.
A question with a predetermined answer.
I gazed at him steadily. It was strange. This handsome man, who was much larger than me and had a sharp look when he wasn’t smiling, now seemed like nothing more than a rabbit poised to flee.
I knew instinctively that I had to give in.
No, honestly, I wanted to give in.
“Of course.”
At my words, Darcy visibly relaxed.
Then, he and his ring vanished. I murmured to the empty space where he had been.
“But not everyone has a friend like that.”
Friend. I mulled over the word Darcy had used. And the still-hazy definition of our relationship.
*When will we be able to find an answer?*
Neither Darcy nor I know how deep these feelings run. Perhaps we’re both relieved that our relationship remains undefined.
After all, friendship is more certain and stable than romance.
*Does it make me a bad person to feel disappointed by the word ‘friend’?*
Remembering how frightened Darcy had looked, I shook my head.
*Let’s not be impatient.*
Nothing was set in stone yet. So I should focus on the present and not get my hopes up too high.
Darcy had had so little contact with others that he was clumsy at recognizing his own emotions. It was possible that what he felt for me truly was just friendship.
And I was prepared to respect his feelings.
*...Still, it felt good when he was so conscious of Eaton earlier.*
It was almost like he was jealous.
Remembering Darcy’s reddened ears, I let out a soft laugh. I feel sad about the relationship he can’t define, yet his actions make me happy.
Comedy and tragedy are born from the same place.
*Can my actions make Darcy happy?*
I suppose I’ll have to try and see.
I thought of Eaton.
He was in the cinema room, which was perfect. Explaining the magic tools in there would add credibility to my plan.
I opened the door and headed toward Eaton.
***
“Because it’s part of the process of finding my own happiness.”
How could he not grant the request of the Marso who said such things? It was impossible.
“I understand.”
The answer came out as if by magic.
*Maybe you’re the one with the power of brainwashing, Marso.*
You always make me think only of you… watch your expressions, and in the end, make it so I can’t possibly refuse you.
I don’t know when it started.
When we first met, she was just a noble I could use.
But now, you are my world. I can no longer recall the days when I didn’t think of you.
I still haven’t been able to precisely define my feelings. It’s frightening. I’ve never been a coward in front of others, but I can’t bear the process of showing you an imperfect side of myself and admitting it.
Darcy recalled the image of his mother craving Kies’s love and squeezed his eyes shut.
Would it have been better if the memory had faded as he grew up? It was too vivid to forget.
He had to admit it. He was afraid of love. He couldn’t tolerate the destructive emotions and actions it would bring.
*Because I was born from that woman.*
…Perhaps I could become the same kind of monster.
Darcy’s eyes flew open.
No.
He would not become a monster like his mother.
He would not use brainwashing to manipulate people’s hearts.
Nor would he fall into a love that made him lose all reason.
The feelings he had for Marso today—the possessiveness, the jealousy—it wasn’t love.
“This is the kind of concern friends can have for each other, right?”
Hadn’t Marso agreed with him?
But the monster in his heart had already sprouted and was busy whispering.
*You say you care for her as a friend, but you want to kiss her right now, don’t you?*
He was confused. It felt like he was back on the battlefield, following Kies’s orders.
He felt like banging his head against the wall.
If only he could kill the utterly selfish monster in his heart. If only he could quell the selfishness that had been running rampant lately.
…But Marso was too upright, lovely, and beautiful a person for him to suppress all his actions and thoughts.
The possessiveness—so filthy, so certain to one day bind her—was only growing stronger.
Even though he knew Marso couldn’t be happy that way.
Darcy took a deep breath.
*She’s a friend. Just a friend. My feelings aren’t whole. I don’t want to lose Marso right now, do I?*
This was the brainwashing he performed on himself.
Yes, for now, he could endure it.
This greed grew the closer he got, so he would just have to keep his distance for a while when Marso went to meet the mages.
He knew that if he said he was busy with work, she would be a little disappointed but would understand.
The Marso he knew was thoughtful and gentle, completely different from the rumors.
In truth, he also needed to do more research on magic tools.
Now that the gun had appeared, Kies would find a way to make one. He would find a method, just as Darcy himself had when he’d pressed the muzzle to his temple.
The age of knights was over. The age of mages was also passing, and it was time for a new era to dawn.
He had to prepare accordingly.
*...A gun doesn’t necessarily have to be a magic tool.*
Magic stones were useful, but far too limited. Once they started being used in earnest, they would never be able to compete with the imperial family’s supply.
He had to develop a weapon that could be used without magic stones.
To see the end of Kies and Ryan.
To drive despair deep into their hearts.
…No, to be honest, that wasn’t the only reason. The more time he spent with Marso, the more his desire for revenge against Kies and Ryan faded.
Now, he had to dispose of them, if only for the safety of Marso, who was on his side.
Just then, a knock sounded. The door opened, and Kaysen entered and bowed to him.
“Welcome back.”
“Yes. Is there anything to report?”
“It seems Prince Ryan and Marquis Epekel have joined forces.”
He knew Ryan would choose someone to side with him, but he never thought it would be Marquis Epekel.
“I was surprised as well. I thought he would remain neutral under most circumstances…”
“He’s an old man who doesn’t make a move without a reason. Ryan must have found a weakness to exploit.”
“So I investigated his activities… but there was nothing out of the ordinary, aside from receiving magic stones.”
The distribution of magic stones was strictly forbidden by the imperial family, but a large amount was secretly traded on the black market.
It wasn’t strange for Ryan to use magic stones in his dealings.
*...But for some reason, that fact bothers me.*
Darcy narrowed his eyes. Everyone coveted magic stones, but… Marquis Epekel wasn’t a particularly greedy man. Moreover, wasn’t he the owner of one of the few magic stone mines?
…But what if a reason arose for him to need more magic stones?
Compared to other families, Marquis Epekel did tend to use a lot of magic stones.
“Have the mine investigated.”
“Sir? The mine?”
Magic stones coming from a mine was as natural as breathing. But what if there was a problem with that natural order?
Then Marquis Epekel’s actions would make sense.
Though not completely.
*I didn’t think he was that desperate for magic stones.*
Did he have a reason he absolutely had to have them? Or had Darcy misjudged the man?
In any case, the truth would be revealed in time.
***
After Darcy left, I took out the gun I had hidden inside my dress. The cold touch of the metal still felt unfamiliar.
*But it’s worth carrying around.*
It was a way to prepare for any unexpected situations. I placed the gun deep under the bed, in a spot only I could reach.
Simply attaching it to my dress was too risky. I needed a device to wear it underneath. Something like a strap for my thigh would probably work.
*I should ask Darcy about it later.*
So I can draw it in an emergency.
I’ll pack mainly small magic stones. I still don’t know how powerful a gun made from a magic tool is, but it should be enough to protect myself.
Once I sign the contract with the mages and start the business in earnest, I’ll be in open opposition to the imperial family. They wouldn’t look kindly on a business involving the very mages they ostracize.
And would it only be the imperial family? Most of those who sided with Ryan would see me as a thorn in their side.
I needed something to protect myself in preparation for that. The gun Darcy gave me was the perfect tool for self-defense.
