Translator: Nox

56 - The Time of the Blind Beast (15+ Revised Edition)

Chapter 56

Ezekiel. If he were to be defined in a single word, what would it be?

To some, he would be Valdemara's son, to others, a hero. To some, a comrade he trusted and followed more than his own life, to others, a rival they wished to harm even by resorting to cowardly methods, and then…

Rose let out a long sigh.

To me, it was a sin.

It was the greatest mistake I had ever made in my life.

I have never forgotten it for a single moment.

The reason I came to the mansion last winter was my resolve to atone for this sin. I had hoped that living my entire life as his shadow would offer some measure of penance.

However, Ezekiel was not a man who floundered in despair forever. He was a born soldier who found a breakthrough even in the worst of crises.

And so, when Dr. Briman finally appeared, and the 'after the treatment' phase suddenly became a concern, Rose also devised a plan for herself.

I won't be able to stay in this mansion for long.

It was around that time that I vaguely thought about the future.

I have no intention of denying that my actions were cowardly. More than anyone, I myself criticized myself the most. Nevertheless, the scales of my heart had already tipped.

Because I couldn't bear to face his expression when he learned that 'that woman' and 'Rose' were the same person.

Because I felt that if the time I spent together in this mansion as 'Rose' were also denied, my very existence would crumble from its foundations.

Because I wanted to let the good memories fade naturally with time, as good memories.

I thought it was the best way for both him and me.

But now I understand. This, too, was actually a selfish wish.

Begging for forgiveness is the responsibility of the perpetrator. Granting forgiveness is the right of the victim. And that, too, when the victim wants it, in the way they want.

Moreover, Ezekiel had clearly expressed the outcome he desired.

"I must get revenge. On Achenaus and that woman who made me this way. I intend to repay them exactly as much as I suffered."

"I will return exactly what I received. I intend to make them taste that poison themselves. Only then will they realize who they tried to kill and how."

That woman.

That woman.

That woman.

He had no intention of forgiving 'that woman'.

I know how much he repeated 'that woman' and fueled his desire for revenge. I know the time of pain and anger he had to endure because of 'that woman'.

Therefore, if Ezekiel did not wish it, Rose had to remain an eternal villain to him. I should not confuse him with ambiguous goodwill.

The efforts I made to nurse Ezekiel, to comfort his body and mind, and to restore his sight were merely the penance I imposed upon myself, not the penance Ezekiel demanded for 'that woman'.

I understand this difference now.

One cannot atone for sins by oneself.

I realized this fact far too late. Foolishly.

There was no choice but to feel lonely. Despite having gone through the four seasons together, he did not know her real name. He did not know her real face.

It felt as if all of this had been a mirage.

I had dreamt a long dream. Sometimes a beautiful dream, sometimes a sad one, sometimes a dream I didn't want to wake from, but a dream is not reality. An end was bound to come someday.

Come to think of it, I could never utter his name even once due to guilt. It is the same now. I can only call out to him cautiously in my heart.

She bid him farewell.

Ezekiel.

"...Goodbye."

Goodbye, Ezekiel.

And.

"Goodbye, Rose."

It was truly time to part now.

* * *

That morning felt somehow alien.

I couldn't tell where it all went wrong. Until last night, every part of my daily life had been ordinary. Rose congratulated Polina with a gentle voice after they heard the diagnosis together that she could finally remove the bandages, and after spending the last night as a patient lying side-by-side in the same bed, she returned to the adjoining room just before falling asleep.

Rose had been sleeping in a separate room since Ezekiel's surgery. She had insisted on returning to the adjoining room, saying she was afraid she might accidentally touch his face in her sleep and cause it to worsen, but Rose had injured her leg somewhere and ended up being the one to sleep separately. Looking at it from his perspective, it would have been a disaster if he had accidentally touched her injured leg while hugging her in his sleep. Moreover, he was in no condition to see for himself where or how badly Rose had injured her leg.

And what did we talk about before parting?

This, too, was no different from usual. Lying beside the woman he wanted to see first thing in the morning, he had simply longed for her, as he did on any other day. It was contradictory, but Rose was the woman closest to him, yet also the furthest. Naturally, since he had heard, smelled, touched, and tasted, but had seen nothing with his eyes.

Rose was always there at the beginning and end of his day. This had been a constant routine since Rose entered the mansion and began exclusively attending to him.

But then, why?

"Where is Rose?"

No matter how much he searched the mansion, he couldn't sense Rose's presence. This had never happened before. She was not a woman who left him alone for long. It felt strangely ominous.

"Well, first... First, Master, the Doctors are waiting in the drawing-room. Wouldn't it be better to have your bandages removed first?"

Madam Serva suggested to Ezekiel, who had turned the mansion upside down searching for Rose. Only then did he notice the bandages covering half of his face. With Rose, who had been like a shadow, nowhere to be felt, he had forgotten what day it was.

"Ah, right."

He didn't have time to go to the drawing-room. He grabbed the end of the firmly secured bandages with his own hands and tore them off in one go.

"Just a moment, doing it like that... Hurry and run to the drawing-room and bring the guests!"

Madam Serva, startled, quickly called for someone and gave instructions.

Originally, the bandages had been wrapped so that he could adapt to the gradually increasing light as they were peeled off one by one. But in his impatience, he had ripped them all off at once, and for a moment, his vision was completely white. A dizzying shock swept through his head like a wave.

Ezekiel closed his eyes, waiting for the throbbing headache to subside.

Someone who rushed over flipped open Ezekiel's eyelids and peered in.

"It's fine. It's because you've been unable to perceive light for a long time and suddenly entered a state of photic adaptation. It's not a major problem."

The business-like tone was familiar. Ezekiel's eyes snapped open. The silhouettes of the people surrounding him flickered on his retina.

"Oh, my goodness, my goodness..."

Our eyes met.

'Met.'

This sensation was also long overdue. The other party couldn't possibly not have felt what he felt. An elderly man with white hair, leaning on a cane, stumbled forward.

"Master, can you see me?"

The old man's eyes were already red-rimmed with tears. His voice was exactly as he remembered it, but his shrunken face made him look like a completely different person.

Ezekiel looked down at her, slightly surprised.

"Serva? You've aged a lot since I last saw you."

"I've told you repeatedly. I'm an old woman who has set a date for her death. You never believed me back then... Besides, I've been so worried sick because of you, Master, that I've aged terribly these past few months."

"What are you talking about, Serva. You're still healthy enough to live another fifty years."

After offering Serva some comfort, Ezekiel looked at the tall woman standing awkwardly with the bandages. This young woman, the only one present, had most of her face covered in severe burn scars. He immediately recognized her identity.

"Teacher Polina?"

"That's right."

"Then you must be Dr. Briman."

"You recognized me immediately."

Although they were faces he had never seen before, surprisingly, they all felt familiar. Ezekiel looked around at them again. Madam Serva, Polina, Dr. Briman. All of them were people who had worked to restore his sight.

And according to his memory, there should have been one more person here.

A woman with red hair and green eyes.

"But where is Rose?"

No one answered.

Even in this miraculous moment of freedom from that tiresome blindness, not a single person was smiling brightly.

Something was terribly wrong.

Ezekiel asked with a cold expression.

"Serva, where is Rose?"