15 - The Time of the Blind Beast (15+ Revised Edition)
Chapter 15
The air was thick with the scent of water. It was because the air had become stagnant, unable to be ventilated frequently due to the continuous rain throughout early spring.
"Major, the Doctor has arrived."
Another new doctor had appeared at the mansion. Rose swallowed a heavy sigh as she delivered the news to Ezekiel.
Ever since she first witnessed his strange symptoms, she had observed Ezekiel closely for a while. Fortunately, the man who had fallen asleep and woken up seemed to have returned to his usual self. He recognized Rose by her footsteps alone and lived his days as he always had.
However, on the days he underwent examinations, he emptied several bottles of liquor again and fell into a state of hallucination. He would spout nonsensical ramblings, trapped in his own delusions. Rose’s calls or deliberately loud noises to get his attention went unanswered. He seemed like a person whose body and soul were separated.
Excessive drinking led to delirium.
Liquor and medicine had the advantage of erasing immediate pain, but conversely, they were unnecessary for those who were mentally and physically healthy. The increasing number of empty bottles served as an objective measure, indicating the daily escalation of his suffering.
Rose examined the man's gaunt face. Lately, as he relied on alcohol, he often skipped meals, causing his cheeks to dry out. It was desolate and barren. It felt as if his soul had turned into parched sand, rustling and scattering away. He was precarious.
After consulting with three or four more doctors until she was certain, Rose immediately requested a meeting with Madam Serva.
"Whether it's the medicine or the alcohol, I don't know, but it's dangerous. The amount he's consuming has doubled since the day I first arrived."
Rose meticulously explained the strange symptoms Ezekiel had exhibited. Madam Serva listened to her story with a bewildered expression.
"I find it utterly unbelievable. When I looked after him, he did show signs of relying more on medicine, but still. Such a thing..."
It couldn't be.
Madam Serva trailed off, about to deny Rose's report. The thought that it couldn't be was merely a wish. As a seventy-something with a bad leg, she had to care for her blind master, manage the staff, and oversee all the mansion's affairs. She lacked the leisure to meticulously observe Ezekiel's changes as Rose did, who was solely responsible for him.
Furthermore, Madam Serva was one of the first people to recommend Rhodanum to Ezekiel. Ezekiel, who had appeared in a shocking state with the winter blizzard, was so violent and rough at the time that few people could approach him. Even Madam Serva, who was confident she had raised Ezekiel herself, was at a loss for how to handle his rapid and bewildering transformation.
"...I see. I probably wouldn't have noticed. Because I've already experienced Ezekiel-nim changed into someone else. Perhaps it's fortunate that Rose is by his side."
It would have been easier for Rose to notice the changes because she had seen Ezekiel in a relatively stable state due to Rhodanum.
"We must quickly remove the wine and medicine bottles from his bedroom."
However, when Rose reached the conclusion she had been contemplating, Madam Serva remained silent with a complex expression. Then, she posed a subtle question.
"Rose, who else has seen the master in such a state?"
"Only I know for now."
"Then that's fine. Let's ensure the mouths and doors are more thoroughly secured to prevent any unnecessary rumors from spreading outside."
"...And the medicine?"
"Leave it as it is."
Rose's eyes widened in surprise. She had expected Madam Serva, who cared for Ezekiel, to immediately order the removal of those wicked substances. That was precisely why she had reported to Madam Serva first. Since Ezekiel, who already showed strong dependence on alcohol and medicine, would not listen to her opinion, she needed the cooperation of Madam Serva, who was the only one capable of persuading him.
But Madam Serva's opinion completely defied Rose's expectations.
"Ezekiel-nim needs a means to alleviate his pain. It doesn't matter if it's medicine or alcohol. As long as he's not in pain, that's what matters."
"His mind is becoming more clouded day by day; isn't that a form of pain?"
"You said he looked happy when he was lost in his own world. What's the problem?"
Delusions had transformed into his own world.
Rose was speechless. She gazed at Madam Serva. And she realized anew. The old woman before her was very old and tired, bearing all this hardship.
"He wants to find comfort, even if it's just that. Imagine if Ezekiel-nim couldn't bear the pain and tried to harm himself again or resort to violence against others. There's no one here who can handle that. All the current employees would flee."
Madam Serva did not reverse her decision. Her concerns had merit. How could she not understand his desire to experience full sensation, even if it was through the aid of hallucinations? It was also true that there was no one in this mansion capable of overpowering him.
"I understand."
Rose withdrew. Unless someone with authority imposed a restriction, it was impossible for Rose, a mere low-ranking employee, to act against the wishes of the master and the housekeeper.
And so, nothing changed.
Once the doctor left after his meaningless examination today, he would retreat to his bedroom again and wander through the world of his delusions. A world that should have been his but never became his, a world that crumbled like a phantom upon waking from deep intoxication, yet one he could not help but thirstily crave—
A world of deprivation.
"It's my first time meeting you. I am Dr. Briman."
The doctor was already seated in the empty reception room. His hair, half white, showed his age, yet the sharp intelligence in his eyes suggested he was still in his prime, not yet elderly.
"I have already received an explanation about the Major's condition from the housekeeper. However, I need to examine your eyes myself. Is that alright?"
Dr. Briman asked for permission with a serious demeanor.
Ezekiel sat loosely in a reclined chair. His consent was brief and indifferent.
"Do it."
His tone sounded more like a sense of duty than anticipation. Rose glanced at him sideways. Deep fatigue was etched around his eyes. Anyone would feel that way after enduring painful examinations and receiving the same diagnosis every time.
Dr. Briman naturally took out a lamp. The lamp, emitting a sharp light, seemed unusually bright today. Rose turned her head away briefly to avoid the light. She seemed too deeply accustomed to the mansion's rules. The lamp's bright glare was unwelcome.
It was the light that would lead him into hallucination.
Into a fleetingly brilliant and bizarre world.
As Ezekiel faced the lamp directly, his eyes momentarily contorted. The light was indeed stronger than usual.
"Doctor, just a moment."
Rose called out to Dr. Briman. She rummaged in her pocket and took out a handkerchief. She covered the lamp's glass tube and tied a knot, the loosely woven thin cloth dimming the lamp's intensity.
"The young lady is quite meticulous."
Dr. Briman exclaimed in admiration.
Rose stood a step away, conscious of the man's hands. The first time she had held his hand and soothed him, it had been repeated two or three times, and recently it had become a fixed habit.
Surprisingly, he did not push away Rose's hand when she reached for him. Viewed another way, it meant he was lonely and suffering enough to need someone to endure it with him, even if he didn't show it outwardly.
The shadow cast by the light stretched long. Rose counted the seconds, measuring the time.
The man's large, bony hand tightened its grip between her fingers. The pressure applied allowed her to gauge his endurance to some extent.
Usually, the examination itself ended quickly. The doctors had already heard detailed accounts of the symptoms and circumstances from Madam Serva, and doctors themselves felt reluctant to hold a lamp to a patient clearly showing signs of pain for too long.
However, Dr. Briman meticulously took his time examining his eyes. Rose, who had been calculating the minutes, expecting it to end soon, grew inwardly anxious at Dr. Briman's seemingly endless examination.
Her mouth felt parched.
His pain did not dull. Naturally, it did not become familiar to the observer either. Normally, he suppressed it with painkillers, but on days when a doctor's visit was scheduled, he couldn't be completely incapacitated by medication, so he adjusted its dosage to allow the effects to wear off appropriately. Combined with the light he so dreaded, he must have felt as if he were returning to the day he first injured his eyes.
Furthermore, it became a time for Rose to reflect on her own transgressions. Watching the suffering man beside her, she was consumed by memories that could not be erased and would not fade. The gears in her mind turned, scenes clicking into place. Achenaus's voice calling her an accomplice and his mocking smile, the moment she sprinkled medicine into this man's eyes, the pounding of her heart that felt like it would burst, the grip on her throat that felt like it would suffocate her.
Suddenly, her breathing grew rapid. A sense of random suffocation washed over her anew. The marks of his hands around her neck had long since vanished cleanly.
Rose gasped for breath.
The lamp's light was finally extinguished after a long while. Just before being obscured by shadow, Ezekiel's face, glimpsed briefly, had lost its color and turned pale.
No one spoke first. Everyone was preoccupied with gathering their thoughts and catching their breath.
Ezekiel slowly raised one hand to cover his face. However, the warmth of his palm offered no relief from the throbbing headache that pierced his brain. Instead, it only intensified the unpleasant dull ache.
He needed something cool. He blindly grabbed whatever was within reach and covered his eyes. The sensation was just right. The cool, soft touch gradually cooled the heat pooling in his head.
Only after the burning heat subsided somewhat did Ezekiel realize that the cool object in his hand was Rose's. She had her fingers neatly together, gently stroking the area around his eyes with just enough weight to be ticklish.
