Chapter 41
Love and Hate
A hot, exhilarating emotion that sets the blood racing.
Love and hate were similar in that they were both intense, fiery emotions that were difficult to control.
When you fall in love, you only see that person, but a thorn in your side is even more noticeable.
Similarly, Liana Serpens was particularly noticeable to Shed Lester.
Shed believed this phenomenon was due to hatred rather than love.
Because when he saw her with Dietrich, he felt deep anger and displeasure rather than love or jealousy.
It was an added bonus that the two of them were startled when they found him, causing him to frown.
Am I an unwelcome guest?
"I thought you'd be busy tracking down Heretics..."
Dietrich's eyes widened at the Duke's chilly voice.
"W-Well... I mean, I just came out for some fresh air to clear my head..."
The High Priest's silver hair, which he usually stuttered, drooped powerlessly.
Shed's eyes scanned back and forth between his shrunken shoulders and Liana.
"Have you had enough... fresh air?"
"N-No, no... Yes."
His head, which had been shaking horizontally, moved vertically in the face of the languid gaze.
"Then why don't you be on your way?"
At the Duke's polite suggestion, the High Priest swallowed hard.
They were clearly on equal footing, but Dietrich was always helpless in front of Shed.
"W-Well, then... May the Gods be with you...!"
Dietrich hurried away, as if Shed would draw his sword if he didn't leave immediately.
Shed watched Dietrich's retreating figure and turned his gaze to Liana.
He clenched his fist tightly when he saw the flower in Liana's hand.
"Follow me."
He grabbed her slender arm and strode away.
Liana was dragged along by the strong force, like a beast on a leash.
"Your Excellency, it hurts...! Let go and talk to me!"
Shed, who had been walking ahead, released Liana only when they reached a place where there were no people.
"Your Excellency...!"
"Are you out of your mind?"
Shed snapped roughly as Liana glared at him.
"What are you talking about..."
"Don't you know that the person who was in charge of Count Ideana's treason is the author?"
Shed pointed to the silver-haired High Priest.
He couldn't understand her being so close to Dietrich.
He was the most dangerous person if she was caught as a traitor, and he also knew the most about Ideana's crimes.
If she accidentally gave him even a small hint while talking, it would only be a matter of time before Luise Ideana was caught.
Dietrich was a particularly persistent person...
"Does receiving a single flower make you feel good? Does the attention of the great High Priest make you feel like you're something special?"
Liana's eyes wavered at the barbed words.
The reason his words hit her so hard was because they were somewhat true.
To be honest, she had been a little excited when she received the flower.
Even if it wasn't a flower with a sweet fragrance, even if it wasn't a skillfully wrapped bouquet, someone had given her a flower.
His rough gift was sincere and intuitive, without any distracting thoughts, which made her feel comfortable.
Moreover, it was even more special because the flower was born from the land of Ideana.
The ordinary scene of everyday life was precious to her.
But that was all.
She had never dreamed of a future beyond that, nor had she ever thought of becoming closer to the High Priest.
She had simply coveted a single flower.
But when she stood in front of Shed, she was reduced to someone who didn't even deserve to covet a single flower.
A criminal who didn't deserve even a sliver of peace and a drop of happiness.
Liana bit her lip once, then deliberately spoke in a bolder voice.
"I'm being careful enough."
She didn't need Shed's advice.
She feared Dietrich far more deeply than he worried.
Shed would never be able to fathom her fear.
"Is this the result of being careful enough?"
Shed snatched the Allium from her hand, his teeth clenched.
As he gripped the stem, the purple flower was helplessly broken in his grasp.
Liana's gaze fell to the Allium that had fallen to the ground.
The flower she had received as a gift had instantly turned into trash discarded on the dirt floor.
Liana bit her lip tightly.
"Don't even think about meeting with the High Priest separately in the future."
"...Then why did you bring me all the way here?"
Liana glared at Shed, her head held high, at his warning.
It was Shed Lester who had desperately dragged her here.
To the land where it was easiest for her to be exposed as Luise.
To the land where the memories and traces of Luise Ideana were scattered everywhere.
To this place where the High Priest would come.
"Isn't this what Your Excellency wanted? You're the one who dragged me here, even though I said I didn't want to. Didn't you want everything to be revealed so I could be punished?"
Liana spat out the emotions that had been building up inside her.
How much she had struggled to escape.
And he had ignored her struggles and dragged her here.
She recalled the end of the devil that Dietrich had spoken of.
Her heart sank and she felt suffocated with every word he said about the Hell sentence.
Did he even know how much she feared him?
An unwanted sin. And therefore, an unwanted punishment.
Shed looked down at the eyes that were revealing anger towards him.
"...Yes, that's right."
His languid voice fell like cold water on her anger.
He had brought her here to punish her as revenge.
"So don't show me that silly, cheap smile."
Her glassy eyes shattered at his words.
Shed clenched his jaw as he watched her eyes wither in misery.
For some reason, he didn't feel relieved at all, and a sense of frustration built up inside him.
Why?
Shed spat out the disgusting feeling that had risen to his throat.
"I'll decide how you're punished."
You're just supposed to follow me like my possession, be swayed by me, and be controlled by me.
Then, a small breath, like a hollow laugh, escaped from Liana's lips. At the same time, he saw her eyes turn red.
"You're terribly arrogant, Your Excellency."
She desperately held back her tears and glared at him.
Shed's neck stiffened.
"That arrogance will be shattered someday."
Liana's trembling voice echoed in his ears.
The red eyes looking up at him were etched into his mind like a curse.
At that moment, his head throbbed and he felt suffocated, as if cotton had been stuffed inside him.
He felt like he was going crazy at the sight of the faint moisture in her eyes.
A burning sensation deep in his chest caused him to breathe roughly.
It was too stimulating to be heat triggered by anger.
All thoughts were evaporated by intense passion, and only physical sensations became sensitive.
Her eyes, her breath, even her smallest movements stimulated him.
"Luise Ideana..."
He spat out the name that filled his head.
Then, Liana's eyes twisted with sharp wariness.
"Don't call me that name..."
"Shut up."
Damn it. Your voice is too... sexy.
Liana's lips trembled at his low growl.
Her trembling lips made his mind go blank.
He wanted to devour and swallow her lips right away, just like he had at the lake that day.
The rampaging beast was about to break the chains that bound him and escape his control.
The sound of his teeth grinding came from his tightly clenched jaw.
Liana looked at him with a pale face.
As if a wound that could not heal remained, Liana staggered backward, turned around, and ran away from the spot.
Shed's impulse pushed him towards Liana.
But the last of his reason held his feet like shackles.
His reason sensed that if he followed her now, he would cross a line that should not be crossed.
He clutched his chest, his heart throbbing painfully.
'Why...'
Liana leaned against the wall, clutching her shoulder.
The shoulder he had grabbed ached as if it would break.
Yes, she was also human.
So it hurt every time.
She pretended to be indifferent and tried to accept her fate, but in fact, she had never become dull.
She was always scared, always in pain.
Even so, she tried to endure it because it was her sin, her fault.
But in reality, she felt so wronged that she was going crazy.
She knew that she couldn't face those who had died or been sacrificed because of her, but sometimes she just wanted to shout and get angry.
She had never wanted this to happen either.
She just... wanted to live a normal life.
Loving someone and being loved in return.
Liana buried the tears that no one could see in her palms.
She felt alone in the world, as always.
Shed's face, filled with hatred, would not leave her mind.
She would imagine it alone.
Imagining that he knew all her feelings without her having to say anything.
Why she was lying, why she had no choice but to remain silent.
She just wanted him to believe her.
That you would never abandon me.
That there must have been an unavoidable reason why you made that choice.
She wanted him to believe her completely, to stop asking questions, and to just hold her in his arms.
Liana always wanted that moment.
Whenever she met his eyes, she would stare endlessly into his eyes, hoping that he would understand her true feelings.
But Shed did not realize what her eye contact meant.
'It's only natural.'
She knew very well that it wasn't Shed's fault.
It was all her vain desires and imagination.
Liana reminded herself of the cold reality once again.
That there was no one to hold Luise Ideana's hand.
That she was an impurity that had fallen into this world.
That she was an existence that had to be erased from this world, and from Shed Lester's life.
