Chapter 53
Zeppelin hesitated before opening his mouth.
The quiet night had a way of coaxing out words that one couldn't normally utter.
"Do you know why I hate this place?"
"I wouldn't know."
"This is where Father first hit me. The lilac scent was especially strong that day. I was only..."
"I'm not interested."
Zeppelin was trying to dredge up a painful past as if making a confession.
But Rebecca cut him off, as if issuing an order to leave.
A sharp smile formed on her lips.
"Zeppelin, I have no interest in your stories. Just as you have no interest in how I feel about being infertile."
Her voice was gentle and even.
For a moment, Zeppelin wondered if Rebecca was blaming him.
But there was no hatred or resentment in her eyes.
Like someone whose soul had been devoured, Rebecca's eyes were empty.
He found her appearance unfamiliar.
He blankly stared into Rebecca's hollow eyes, realizing that she had always worn that face.
"You knew..."
"How could I not? Fabiola, your mother, was screaming loud enough to shake the Devonshire mansion."
Zeppelin pressed his hands to his eyes, recalling the events of the day.
That woman, who he now loathed to even call his mother, readily admitted her guilt.
'It's because... it's because you don't look at me. If a child is born, it's obvious what you'll do to me, isn't it?'
Shamelessly, she blamed everything on him until the very end.
He had once felt sympathy for her. Her marriage to his father wasn't her choice.
Zeppelin knew that Fabiola had tried to elope with her lover but failed and was practically sold to his father in marriage.
But it was different now. Fabiola was no different from his father.
A rogue who tried to steal what he loved, a target to be willingly eliminated.
Zeppelin opened his eyes, his gaze sharp.
He banished Fabiola from the Devonshire Earl's estate forever. He also reclaimed the mansion and the extravagant luxuries he had given her.
He didn't care where she wandered off to and died a miserable death.
Zeppelin glanced at Rebecca.
Rebecca wore an expression as detached as the air between them.
He thought that if the frail her knew this fact, she would collapse. So he didn't say anything.
He thought he couldn't bear it if she wailed in front of him in such a state.
But at this moment, he wished she would get angry at him.
He wanted a doll-like person, not a person-like doll.
Zeppelin ran a hand over his face and asked her.
"Why... why are you so calm?"
"What do you mean?"
"The dream between you and me has been shattered. But why do you look like nothing has happened?"
Rebecca almost smiled derisively.
The dream between you and me?
You and I have never looked in the same direction. We've never even been connected by the word 'we.'
Rebecca slowly turned her head.
"What will change if I get angry and cry?"
"What?"
"Unless time is turned back, what happened to me won't disappear. Ah, even if time is turned back, it might be the same..."
"Rebecca!"
Zeppelin grabbed Rebecca's shoulders with both hands, as if trying to hold onto a fading afterimage, because she looked like she was about to disappear.
But he felt the heat of the Pustules rising through the thin fabric, and Zeppelin quickly pulled his hands away.
"Ah."
Zeppelin looked down at his hands with a flustered expression.
He was embarrassed that he had shown her to her face that he didn't want to touch her.
And at the same time, he was at a loss for what kind of expression to make because he was reminded of his disgust for her appearance.
Rebecca smiled faintly when she saw a stream of cold sweat running down Zeppelin's forehead.
"Just admit it. The me you loved is gone."
Rebecca stood up.
And finally, she knelt at his feet and begged.
"So please, abandon me."
"Rebecca, what are you saying...? How can I abandon you!"
"No. You can. Zeppelin. Because I love you, because I love you, I'll leave you happily."
Rebecca murmured, still with unfocused eyes.
Her voice, whispering love, echoed meaninglessly, as if a recording was playing.
"My love. To protect you, I must take myself away from you. Please dispose of me now."
Rebecca Devonshire, who loved Zeppelin Devonshire, was burning fiercely like the last day of her previous life.
Rebecca hoped to turn to ashes and disappear within Zeppelin's blue eyes, which were staring blankly at her.
Zeppelin, who had awakened from hell, blinked his long eyelashes.
The shadows under his eyes were deep. He must have fallen asleep after returning from the garden.
"Are you awake?"
Octavio greeted him with a smile.
Zeppelin blinked his still-sleepy eyes and stammered.
"I had a terrible dream. Rebecca is infertile. That can't be true. My perfect wife can't be."
"Unfortunately..."
Octavio paused for a moment before speaking clearly, as if to engrave it in Zeppelin's ears.
"It's not a dream. You can no longer have an heir through Rebecca."
"That's a lie!"
Zeppelin squeezed his eyes shut.
It had to be a dream. It had to be a dream.
'Please abandon me.'
The voice with which Rebecca whispered was all a dream.
When the sun rises tomorrow morning, Rebecca will greet him with the same beautiful smile as always.
It had to be that way...
Zeppelin said, sobbing.
"What am I supposed to do now? I've never even imagined a life without her. Octavio, you've always given me wise advice, so you must know a way this time too, right?"
A cunning smile crept onto Octavio's lips.
He wanted to be the only ray of light in Zeppelin's dark life.
After meeting Rebecca, Zeppelin would smile like a boy lying in a sunny spot.
Octavio didn't like that.
But now, the sun that seemed like it would last forever was setting.
The era of night was about to begin.
Octavio pulled the lamp cord.
The bulb flickered a few times before finally turning on brightly. The light passed through the lampshade and emitted a soft crimson glow.
Zeppelin frowned, as if pained by the sudden light.
"You may proceed as usual, Count. Just as I taught you."
"You mean abandon Rebecca?"
"Originally, whether it's a person or an object, it's natural to get rid of it when it's no longer useful. If it's an eyesore, just get rid of it. There are plenty of new things."
Zeppelin covered his eyes with his forearm.
He spoke in a tone that was heavily laden with hesitation.
"But, I love Rebecca. What can replace love?"
Octavio stifled a sneer and answered calmly.
"What aspects of Rebecca did you love?"
At his question, Zeppelin recalled his memories.
Although the faded memories had become distant, they were enough to make him smile.
"Her hair shimmering in the sunlight, her lovely voice calling my name, her perfect nose and lips that resemble mine, and those eyes that I can't help but stare at..."
"How touching. But where have they all gone now?"
"..."
"You don't love Rebecca, Count. You loved her. The love that has become the past has also served its purpose, so it must be abandoned. Only then can you move forward."
"My future has always been Rebecca. Where am I supposed to move forward to?"
"That can't be right. Wasn't your dream your own beautiful kingdom, not Rebecca? In my humble opinion, there are definitely women more beautiful than Rebecca. It will take some time, but I will find them for you."
Zeppelin was silent for a moment.
Octavio didn't urge him. He quietly waited with a sly smile on his lips until he had the right shape for him to swallow.
"Still, I don't think I need it right now."
"That's right. You have a lot to do right now, don't you? And there's also the baby who will be born soon."
"My baby..."
"You never know. Alicia might give birth to a daughter who looks just like you."
"Even though it's not Rebecca's baby?"
"What does it matter where the borrowed womb comes from? What matters is that the Count's blood flows through her. Imagine it. The fact that another beautiful being just like you exists in this world."
Before he knew it, a faint smile spread across Zeppelin's lips.
Even if it wasn't Rebecca's child, it wouldn't be bad to walk through his kingdom holding the hand of a second generation who resembled him.
Seeing his smile, Octavio bent one knee.
He pulled the blanket up to his neck and covered Zeppelin's ears with both hands.
It was what Octavio had always done whenever Zeppelin, who had been afraid of thunder since he was a child, was frightened.
He strangely didn't get angry at being treated like a child.
Zeppelin blankly looked up at Octavio.
Octavio smiled, revealing one particularly sharp canine tooth.
"Harden your heart. So that no one can open that door. If you want it, take it, and if you don't need it, throw it away. If you can't have it, break it. So that no one dares to own it."
"If you don't need it, throw it away..."
Zeppelin burrowed into the blanket.
Hidden in the layers of luxurious blankets, he looked like a delicious main dish.
Octavio licked his lips and lit a scented candle.
Before long, a subtle fragrance filled the room.
Soon, Zeppelin's wheezing breaths could be heard.
Octavio watched the blanket covering him rise and fall until the scented candle had burned out.
It was a sight he never tired of seeing.
* * *
Zeppelin opened his eyes as the sun shone in. It was the first time he had slept in in a while.
He sat on the edge of the bed with a blank expression for a moment.
He felt like his sense of reality had dulled, so he clenched and unclenched his hands several times.
Then, he got up and habitually headed to the mirror room.
And he was horrified to see his appearance.
His dazzling appearance was still the same, but he could see what he had lost better than the beauty he held in his hands.
A Pustule had suddenly popped up under his chin.
Zeppelin was suddenly scared.
He was worried about what would happen if Rebecca's illness was contagious.
It was just a simple Pustule, but he had hardly ever had blemishes even during puberty, so this was nothing short of a disaster.
