Chapter 51
She remembered those days when she would gather every single word that spilled from his mouth like precious gems, chewing on them and savoring them over and over again.
Even his words that felt like daggers were thrust into her heart, only for her to stroke and caress them countlessly.
But she didn’t want to be in pain anymore. She was tired of attaching special meaning to his trivial words and actions, only to be met with disappointment.
She was no longer a foolish adolescent girl; she had come to the thorough realization that Talia Roem Guirta meant absolutely nothing to him.
She struggled not to cling to the firm arms that carefully lifted her, ruthlessly cutting away the sprouts of hope that tried to foolishly reach out.
The only reason he was acting this way toward her was out of a sense of responsibility.
He was a man she had observed, analyzed, and dissected in her mind hundreds of times for over ten years. She knew very well the principles by which he operated.
Regardless of how much he loathed Talia Roem Guirta, to him, she was an object to be protected. Even if she wasn’t as important as Gares or Aila, she wasn’t someone he could simply leave to rot in a wretched state.
Since a man who lived to fulfill his given duties had failed in his responsibility, it was only natural for him to feel a sense of debt.
“I will go prepare a meal.”
Having entered the dim tent before she knew it, Barkas spoke as he laid her down on the cot.
Talia, lost in a daze, looked down at her legs. Perhaps the effects of the medicine were already fading, as a stinging sensation began to spread from her shins up to her pelvis.
“Forget the food. Just light an incense candle for me.”
“After you eat.”
A firm voice echoed above her head.
She forced strength into her hazy eyes and glared at him. However, Barkas had already turned away and was giving instructions to a page.
She wanted to throw a pillow at that tedious back of his, but her limbs felt as heavy as water-logged cotton, and she couldn’t budge. In the end, she gave up on being angry and buried her face in the blankets that smelled of cedar and mint leaves.
A short while later, Barkas returned with a bowl of porridge. Talia reluctantly picked up the spoon. The act of pushing something into her stomach felt like a chore, but if she didn’t at least pretend to eat, this stubborn man would never allow her to burn the incense.
Unable to withstand the worsening pain, she forced the greenish mixture, packed with herbs and such, into her mouth.
“There, happy now?”
When she set the half-empty bowl down as if throwing it, the man, who had been standing over her like a jailer watching her eat, inspected the bowl as if performing an examination.
Talia added irritably,
“I ate. What more do you want from me?!”
Barkas watched her face, which was beginning to break into a cold sweat from the pain, for a moment before turning away to tell a servant to bring the incense burner.
Once again, the hazy smoke began to invade her brain. Feeling the pain gradually subside, Talia let her body go limp.
It felt as though she had stepped into a cold cloud. The presence of the man, which had been scraping at her nerves like a blade, also began to fade slightly.
She didn’t know how long she lay there, stretched out and intoxicated by that languid sensation, when an unpleasant shadow caught her blurry vision.
Talia strained her eyes, which were having trouble focusing, and watched it intently. The elegant silhouette of a woman standing against the sunset was stained onto her retinas. A beat later, she realized the figure was her noble half-sister.
Talia observed the woman’s stiff face as if she were looking at an ornament in a cabinet. Whether something unpleasant had happened, faint cracks had appeared on that face, which was usually as poised as finely crafted porcelain.
A faint curiosity rose within her. This was a woman who rarely lost her composure, no matter how much Talia tormented her with all sorts of antics. What could possibly be making her look so miserable?
“I know you feel a sense of responsibility for this situation. But, you are my fiancé. It is not appropriate to keep that child in your tent indefinitely…”
Aila’s soft, gentle voice permeated through her eardrums, which felt muffled as if filled with water.
Talia knit her brows. Rather than the content of the words, it was that smoothly resonating voice that grated on her nerves more.
Does that woman act so refined even when she’s angry?
For Talia, who felt satisfied only after venting every last scrap of her emotions, it was a level of restraint she couldn’t even dream of imitating. Perhaps, it was for that very reason she hated Aila even more.
It was horrifying that this woman, who possessed virtues she couldn’t even mimic, was her half-sister. If she hadn’t been placed in a position where she was constantly compared to her, she might have hated Aila a little less.
Aila continued.
“If you are doing this because you are uneasy leaving her alone, I will take her to my quarters. Then you won’t have to worry about her anymore…”
“Does anyone put a snake and a lynx in the same cage?”
A dry voice, tinged with fatigue, cut the Princess off.
Talia shifted her eyes to look at Barkas, who was leaning one shoulder against a tent pole.
It was very rare for him, a man who always maintained a straight posture, to lean his body against something like that. Had he been in here with her the entire time she was inhaling the medicine? If so, it was amazing that he could stand there so unaffected. She herself had found it a struggle even to keep her eyelids open.
“Are you comparing me to such a lowly beast right now?”
Aila’s voice grew a bit sharper.
Talia put more strength into her eyes. She wanted to see Aila’s face contort with her own eyes. But Barkas, straightening his posture, blocked her view with his broad shoulders.
Soon after, a cold voice rang out.
“Is it not obvious what would happen if the Second Princess stayed in your quarters?”
Releasing a low sigh, he added in a somewhat cynical tone.
“Or do you wish to see the throats of those maids you cherish so much all slit?”
As if struck dumb, Aila fell silent.
Talia stared at his back, submerged in deep shadow, with vacant eyes.
‘…As I thought, he was keeping watch over me. He kept me by his side to make sure I couldn’t throw any more tantrums.’
She hadn’t expected anything from the start. Therefore, there should have been no disappointment.
But then why was she feeling pain once again?
Feeling disgusted with herself, she closed her eyes.
As she let go of the thread of consciousness she had been desperately holding onto, the bothersome noises faded away in an instant. It was like sinking into deep water. She willingly surrendered herself to the world of the unconscious.
A stifling heatwave continued for several days.
For those who had to travel while carrying dozens of corpses, it was nothing short of a disaster.
To prevent decay, they had filled the body cavities with purifying salt and dried herbs, and applied myrrh and glaze over the ashen skin, but as the days passed, a strange stench began to leak from the coffins.
Naturally, the faces of those marching were twisted into grimaces. Talia, leaning against the window and looking out at the scene, suddenly remembered how she had prayed for this procession to lead to hell when they left the Imperial Palace.
Had God answered her prayer?
Or was He punishing her?
She was lost in such thoughts while fiddling with her aching knee when the sound of a whistle drifted from afar.
She narrowed her dazzled eyes and looked over the hill. Beneath the gentle slope where the intense sunlight beat down, she saw gray castle walls rising tall.
The miserable and bleak journey, which had felt as if it would never end, had finally reached its conclusion.
