Ch#195
195
“Is that the truth?”
Talia nodded, her expression dazed as if she had heard a foreign language she couldn’t quite comprehend.
“……It is truth.”
A hollow laugh escaped Varkas’s lips. Only after hearing that answer did he realize that, deep down, he had been hoping she would deny it.
He wouldn’t have cared if it was a blatant lie. If she had just said she hadn’t done it, he would have been more than willing to let himself be deceived.
The moment he faced that wretched reality, something sprouting within him withered and died.
He looked at her with eyes devoid of all emotion.
“Did you want me to die?”
At his hollowly spat question, a faint ripple disturbed the surface of her eyes, which were as murky as faded stained glass. The woman, staring at him with a bloodless face, suddenly began to tremble, her shoulders shaking.
“……No. I never thought that, not even for a second.”
Varkas let out a dry, mocking laugh.
“Then what exactly were you thinking when you fed me poison?”
“I didn’t know it was poison…….”
A voice so weak it was barely audible drifted from between her lips, which were caked with dried blood.
“I didn’t know it was poison. I just…… I thought it was a harmless…… a harmless drug that wouldn’t hurt the body…….”
Varkas’s expression froze at the pathetic excuse.
“Then what kind of drug did you think you were putting in there?”
The woman’s shoulders winced as if struck by a whip. Varkas waited for her to add a more plausible excuse. But all that returned was a chilling silence.
Her blue eyes, soaked in the violet sunset, slowly lowered toward the floor. When it became clear she had no intention of continuing, he pressed further, his tone growing harsher.
“I heard a pagan symbol was found in Your Grace’s chambers. The High Priest even raised suspicions that you attended a heretical gathering. So please, tell me the truth. Did you drug me to sabotage the subjugation campaign?”
She snapped her head up. Her face looked as though she couldn’t understand a word he was saying. At the same time, she seemed consumed by extreme anxiety.
Clutching his head, which throbbed as if a giant nail had been driven into it, he urged her impatiently.
“Please, say something. Anything.”
“……If I say no, would you even believe me?”
She spoke weakly.
“Just believe what you want to believe. Regardless of the reason, the fact that I fed you poison doesn’t change.”
She then dropped her head and added calmly, with the air of a martyr.
“……Whatever punishment you decide to hand down, I will accept it.”
In that instant, he was seized by a violent urge to grab her by the scruff of the neck and choke the life out of her. He wanted to force himself into those eyes that seemed to have given up on everything and make her beg desperately for her life. His fingertips trembled as he suppressed the intense impulse.
He gripped the bedsheets tightly and forced out a strangled voice.
“Do you even realize what you’re saying right now?”
She remained silent, staring intently at her own shadow pooled on the floor.
Finally, his patience exhausted, Varkas stumbled as he rose from the bed.
He felt his absurdly weakened muscles twitch with minute tremors. His joints felt rusted, and his mangled insides still felt as if they were boiling with lava. Ignoring every warning signal his body sent, he trudged over to stand before her.
“Do you think this incident will be dismissed as lightly as when you trifled with Aila’s wine?”
As he gripped her shoulders and spat the words out, vivid fear flickered in her wide eyes. Looking straight down at her, he enunciated every syllable.
“Right now, you’re not only facing charges of attempted poisoning, but also heresy. Do you have any idea what that means?”
Lowering his voice, Varkas continued grimly.
“You’d be lucky if it ended with rotting in prison for the rest of your life. In the worst-case scenario, you could be sentenced to execution. If you are excommunicated through an ecclesiastical trial, the method of execution will be even more brutal. You will die as something less than a beast, stripped of every right as a human being.”
By now, her face was so pale it was almost ashen. Varkas gripped her shoulders harder, adding in a low voice as if branding the words into her mind.
“So, stop that nonsense about accepting any punishment. From now on, there is only one thing you will say. You say you know nothing about it, that it has nothing to do with you—you deny it until the very end.”
She looked up at him with a look of utter desolation. Seeing her like that, still appearing half-out of her mind, made his stomach churn.
He shook her shoulders back and forth, emphasizing once more.
“Do you understand what I’m saying? You have never stepped foot in a pagan gathering, and the poison was put there by someone else. You have no connection to this matter.”
“B-but……”
Her lips quivered in confusion.
“I…… I put the drug in your wine. I…… you……”
Suddenly, a pained groan escaped her lips. Only then did Varkas realize he was gripping her shoulders with enough force to crush them.
He hurriedly pulled his hands away. Then, clenching his fists, he said in a suppressed voice.
“You said it yourself, didn’t you? That you didn’t intend to harm me…….”
She nodded mechanically. He closed his eyes tightly and then opened them.
“That’s enough then. I will cover this up and move past it.”
“You…… believe me?”
She asked back, her voice trembling. Varkas looked down at her with hazy eyes.
The way she had suddenly changed after their reunion flashed through his mind. The sweet words she had whispered echoed in his ears.
‘You’re my husband. Why is it strange for me to care?’
‘To be honest…… I’ve been worried about you a lot.’
Was all of that truly the unvarnished truth? Could he believe those facts without a shred of doubt?
Varkas asked himself inwardly, and soon a bitter smile touched his lips.
“Whether I believe you or not is not important.”
Yes.
Even if it had all been an act to make him let his guard down, what did it matter? He could not tolerate a situation where this woman became a prisoner and stood trial.
Even if she were a fanatic who tried to poison him, the result would not change.
Therefore, the truth of the matter was irrelevant.
He continued mechanically.
“For now, settling the situation is the priority. Stay confined to your room until things have calmed down.”
He then turned back toward the bed. He could feel the strength draining from his legs.
As he grabbed the bedpost tightly to keep from collapsing unsightly, ice-cold fingers clung to his shirt sleeve.
“I—I don’t understand. Why are you trying to cover up my wrongdoings when you don’t even believe me? Why on earth……”
He reflexively shook off her hand. Talia looked up at him with hollow eyes. He froze, startled by his own reaction, but for a moment, seeing that wounded face, Varkas felt something inside him snap.
In that moment, an inexplicable, cruel impulse swept over him.
“I have felt as though I owed you a debt for a long time.”
He lowered his gaze to her legs. Then, he added dryly.
“But now, I owe you nothing.”
In his distorted vision, which seemed submerged in a heat haze, her deathly pale face was caught in a blur. Turning away from that face, he pulled the cord hanging by the bed. Almost instantly, soldiers opened the door and entered the room.
Without even sparing her a glance, he gestured with his head.
“Take her to the inner chambers on the third floor. The Grand Duchess will remain in confinement there for the time being.”
