Ch#153
Talia let go of the threads of her consciousness with a willing heart.
However, waking up in a world of eternal rest was not to be.
Feeling a warm, damp cloth gently wiping her face and the nape of her neck, Talia drifted awake from a light slumber and gazed blankly up at the man, who appeared like a blurry shadow.
He carefully pulled her nightgown down below her waist and slowly ran the warm towel along her spine.
A sudden thought occurred to her that this might not be the first time he had washed her body like this. Barkas’s touch was that practiced and skillful.
Sensing she was awake, he stopped all movement and looked down at her face.
When she showed no sign of rejection, he slipped the linen tunic down past her legs and thoroughly cleaned her sweat-drenched body.
Despite how desperately she had tried to hide her ravaged physical form until now, Talia felt no particular emotion. She simply stared at him vacantly, unable to understand why he was bothering with such a tedious task.
After replacing her soiled nightclothes with fresh ones, he carefully trickled water steeped with herbs into her mouth.
Talia let him do as he pleased. While she found it somewhat annoying, the idea of resisting and pushing him away felt like even more of a chore.
As if sensing her exhaustion, he demanded no reaction from her. He simply held her quietly, occasionally feeding her water and medicine.
And every so often, he summoned a priest to cast restoration magic upon her.
Talia lay still, waiting for all these bothersome events to pass her by.
She had no way of knowing how much more time had elapsed.
As she drifted along the boundary between consciousness and unconsciousness, someone came to the room and requested a word with Barkas.
Talia thought the voice sounded familiar, but she couldn’t recall who it belonged to.
The man finally rose from the bed and stood by the door, conversing with the visitor in a low voice. She watched his broad back silhouetted against the light for a moment before losing all interest and closing her eyes.
“I’ll be out for a moment. I’ll be back soon.”
Just as she was about to sink back into sleep, Barkas returned to the bedside and spoke, leaning over her pillow.
Talia gave no reply. The man gazed down at her for a long while before picking up his coat and leaving the room.
At the same time, three or four women entered. It seemed he had called for people to look after her.
One of them approached the bed and spoke in a soft voice. However, Talia couldn’t understand a single word of what was being said.
It felt as though a thick, hazy film surrounded her.
Talia stared at the ghost-like, blurry figures beyond that misty, formless barrier for a moment before turning away as if it were all too much trouble. She obsessively chased after sleep.
But this time, she couldn’t sleep for very long.
Opening her eyes with a clearer mind, Talia slowly surveyed the room steeped in dark shadows. Two young maids were dozing in front of the fireplace, and Marisen and her nanny were seated beside the bed.
“Are you feeling more yourself now?”
The healing sorceress, who had been decocting herbs, spoke with a look of relief upon seeing her open her eyes.
Talia painfully moved her parched lips.
“……What happened to my baby?”
Only after blurting out the question did Talia realize she had been swallowing those words the entire time.
As she looked up, waiting for an answer to the question she hadn’t dared to ask him even in her delirium, a deep trace of guilt appeared on the healing sorceress’s face.
When the woman looked down, unable to offer a response, the nanny, who had been sniffing beside the bed, spoke in a voice thick with tears.
“The stillborn child was buried properly in the backyard of the chapel.”
Talia looked at her with hollow eyes.
The nanny grasped her hand, which hung limp like a dead bird, and continued haltingly.
“They say it was a boy. If only he had been born safely, he surely would have been a beautiful baby….”
The nanny, sobbing with trembling shoulders, wiped her tears with her other hand and offered a comforting smile.
“But please, do not be too heartbroken. You are young, my lady, so you will surely be able to have another lovely baby.”
In that moment, Talia felt as if she had been stabbed.
She didn’t know why those words caused her such agony. However, she could clearly perceive a sharp pain, as if her heart were being split in two.
If her senses hadn’t been half-dead, she would have let out a scream of pure anguish.
Talia, trembling faintly, struggled to pull her hand from the woman’s grasp.
“……I want to be alone. Everyone, please leave.”
“But the Grand Duke gave strict orders not to take our eyes off you for even a second….”
“Get up, now.”
Marisen sternly forced the nanny to her feet. With a bewildered expression, the nanny slowly backed away from the bed.
The healing sorceress pushed her toward the door and signaled to the maids as well.
When the girls, who had hesitated for a moment, also shuffled out, the healing sorceress gripped the doorknob and added in a soft voice.
“We will be waiting in the room right next door. If you need anything, please ring the bell at any time.”
With those words, silence finally descended.
Talia buried her face in the cold blankets and closed her eyes. However, her mind only grew clearer and clearer.
Struggling to stop the convulsive tremors, Talia suddenly remembered the sleeping grass she had prepared for emergencies and sat up.
Staggering over to the shelf, she opened the cabinet to find various reagents and bundles of dried herbs.
Locating an incense stick made of crushed herbs, Talia placed it inside a fist-sized brazier. She tilted a candlestick to light the wick and waited for the smoke to rise.
Soon, a bitter fragrance wafted through the air. She slumped down onto the carpet and inhaled deeply.
Before long, her sharply on-edge nerves softened into a dull haze, and her head grew increasingly groggy. She welcomed the blurring world. The world was too sharp. She wished everything would become as faint as this smoke.
Leaning her back against the bed, she inhaled the acrid smoke even more deeply.
How long had she been doing that?
Just as the entire world began to warp into a mess, a strange sound drifted in from somewhere.
Talia slowly raised her dizzy eyes.
Inside the room, the light spilling from the fireplace and candlesticks flickered violently. But the sound that had been merely shimmering in her ears grew more and more distinct.
She staggered to her feet and approached the rattling window frame. A view of the rain-soaked garden filled her vision. Beyond the ink-colored world, someone was sobbing pitifully.
Standing still and listening to the sound of that crying, Talia turned her steps as if drawn by something.
Opening the door and stepping outside, she saw the hallway shrouded in silence. In the darkness beyond, the shadows of those standing guard were visible here and there.
Not wanting to encounter them, she stepped toward the narrow staircase located on the opposite side.
She didn’t know how she managed to descend those steep stairs. Drifting along, walking and walking, she eventually found herself standing in the castle backyard, drenched by the pouring rain.
Talia furrowed her brow in confusion. As her mind settled, a faint question arose.
Why on earth did I sneak out of the room like a thief?
She was gazing blankly up at the black sky pouring down rain when she heard the thin sound of crying once more.
As if tethered by an invisible string, Talia resumed her precarious steps.
Cold mud clung stickily to her bare feet.
She felt a stinging pain in the sole of her foot, as if she had stepped on something sharp. But her legs, moving beyond her will, did not stop and continued onward.
How long did she drift aimlessly through the rain-submerged world, not even knowing where she was going? Suddenly, she realized she had arrived in front of the chapel.
She looked up at the pale, sickly building with vacant eyes before stepping into the dim entrance. Passing through the empty space and out the exit on the other side, she saw trees stripped to their bones, thorn bushes, and a tiny grave that hadn’t even been granted a headstone.
She stumbled toward it.
Finally, the ringing sound in her ears ceased.
Talia blinked her stinging eyes and looked down at the small mound of earth where a few wilting flowers had been placed.
Only then did she realize the true nature of the sound that had led her here.
It was the sound of a baby crying.
Suddenly, a thin, hollow laugh escaped her. She didn’t know herself why she was laughing.
Talia, clutching her stomach as her shoulders shook, soon collapsed and fumbled at the ice-cold mound of earth.
Hot rain poured down incessantly over the backs of her mud-stained hands. No. It wasn’t rain.
Only after noticing her vision was submerged in tears did she realize she hadn’t been laughing, but crying.
A thick sob became entangled in her throat like mucus. Talia clutched her neck as if someone were strangling her, and then vomited out a sorrowful wail as if retching up muddy water.
The despair she had held in reserve came pouring out all at once.
The world beyond the opaque film shattered into pieces and embedded itself into her frozen skin. She slumped forward, leaning her upper body over the grave.
Just then, the sound of wet footsteps reached her.
In her tear-stained vision, a shadow like twilight was reflected.
She raised her empty eyes to look at the man standing in the rain. A misty haze rose over his large body, which was wrapped in a wet shirt. His chest, heaving heavily, slowly drew closer. Soon, a pale hand reached out toward her.
Talia knew that hand. It was the hand that had saved her and, at the same time, dropped her into the abyss.
When she pulled her body back as if he were brandishing a weapon, the approaching man stopped moving.
The icy rain completely covered his cool, pale face. Beyond the curtain of rain, she saw the two eyes that had once shone with the reflection of a silver crown. But now, all she could see was a desolate ruin.
