Ch#151
Talia kept her eyes fixed on Barkas’s as she strained downward.
A sensation as if a boulder were crushing her pelvis surged through her. Every sweat gland in her body opened, and a cold sweat poured down.
She summoned every ounce of strength she possessed. Yet, she didn’t feel as though any progress was being made.
She felt like she was on the verge of bursting into tears. How much longer did she have to endure this? Just as she felt ready to let go of everything in the face of unbearable pain, someone let out a sharp cry.
Talia lifted eyelids heavy with sweat and tears. A priestess, positioned beneath her knees covered in linen, was staring between her legs with a grave expression.
Talia forced her cracked lips open with difficulty.
“What… what is it?”
“B-blood…”
The maid standing by the bed muttered, her face pale with terror.
The head maid grabbed the girl with a harsh hand and shoved her back.
Before Talia could even process the sight, the labor pains that had briefly subsided flared up again.
Talia clung to the nape of Barkas’s neck once more.
How long did the pain last—the feeling of bones splitting apart and internal organs and nerve bundles being crushed? Her vision turned white, and then something that had been blocking her below suddenly slid out.
The sensation was so intense that her neck snapped back of its own accord, and a piercing scream tore from her throat.
Talia slumped like a corpse in Barkas’s arms, gasping for air that felt stuck in her throat. Her ears felt muffled as if she were underwater, and her vision was a blur.
She felt as though something in her body had been severely torn. However, the extreme, searing pain that felt like it would burn her brain was gone.
Was it over now?
As she dazedledly processed the thought, a strange sense of dissonance suddenly washed over her. The room was unnaturally quiet.
Talia struggled to lift her heavy eyelids.
In her unfocused vision, she saw a neck with veins bulging tensely. With trembling hands, she tugged at the clothes of the man who seemed possessed by something.
“Barkas… why…”
Barkas finally looked at her.
Talia strained her eyes to see his expression clearly. But she couldn’t focus.
Gazing at the man who looked like a hazy ghost, she managed to force out the rest of her question.
“Why… isn’t the baby… crying?”
“…”
“Barkas, why is the baby…”
He gave no answer.
Have I gone deaf?
She scanned the room with confused eyes. The maids were gathered in one spot, wrapping something in swaddling clothes.
As she tried to push her upper body up to see more clearly, Barkas tightened his arms around her.
“You shouldn’t move yet.”
His voice was rougher than she had ever heard it.
Talia blinked blankly.
Barkas, gripping her head firmly with a cold, vein-ridged hand as if to prevent her from turning away, spoke in a terrifyingly low voice.
“Has the bleeding stopped?”
“Not yet…”
“Then why are you standing there instead of taking action?”
“…Regrettably, there is nothing more we can do.”
Talia could feel the body surrounding her turn as hard as stone.
She could tell he was insanely furious about something, but she couldn’t clearly understand the reason.
A voice laced with a metallic rasp echoed savagely from above her head.
“Where is the Grand Priest and what is he doing? Bring him here this instant!”
“T-that is an impossible demand! A male priest can never enter the birthing room. It is strictly forbidden for them to see a woman in such a primal state…”
At that moment, the sound of something shattering rang out.
Talia barely clung to her fading consciousness. A beat late, she realized he had thrown something.
“Go and tell him now. If he doesn’t come running this instant to treat my wife, I will lock him in the chapel and burn the whole thing down.”
Only after hearing those words did Talia realize her situation was serious enough to require treatment. However, she felt no fear. It was as if all her senses were paralyzed.
Staring blankly at Barkas’s rigid jaw, Talia was driven by a powerful impulse and tugged at his sleeve.
“Barkas… I’m fine… so, our baby…”
She moved her lips with difficulty, not even clearly understanding what she was saying.
“Our baby… help him.”
Barkas did not answer.
She knew he was looking at her, but she still couldn’t see what expression he wore. Tears welled up incessantly.
“You… you promised me…”
She glared at him as if accusing him for his lack of movement, then turned her eyes again to find the baby. But Barkas held her head so tightly she couldn’t budge.
She wanted to push him away with all her might, but her arms felt like lead and wouldn’t move. Talia trembled, overwhelmed by a sense of helplessness.
“It’s okay. Nothing will happen.”
The man holding her upper body painfully tight murmured, pressing his cold lips to her temple.
Liar.
Talia murmured to herself.
It was all a lie. Nothing was okay. It wouldn’t be okay in the future, either.
She could feel her body growing colder and colder. It felt like she was slowly sinking into icy water. She was so cold and so tired.
How did things end up like this?
A faint question rippled through her mind as it went white.
Surely, even just this afternoon, she had been happy. Yes. It had been agonizingly painful and difficult, but she had been happy nonetheless. She didn’t think she had ever been that happy in her life.
She tried to remember what had made her so glad. And squeezing out her last bit of strength, she pleaded.
“Barkas… give the baby… to me.”
It was a voice that sounded as faint as a flickering candle even to her own ears.
Fearing he might not hear her properly, she lifted fingers as heavy as a thousand pounds and tugged at his cold overcoat.
“I… want to hold him. My baby…”
Barkas remained motionless, clutching her.
In that moment, resentment filled her to the very marrow of her bones. If she could, she wanted to scream.
You said you’d do whatever I wanted. Why aren’t you keeping your promise to me?
She let out a sob-like breath.
“I’m… I’m begging you. Please…”
Then, she felt the surroundings grow noisy. However, every sound was muffled, as if thick walls were blocking her on all sides.
Barkas’s head turned sharply. She heard him shouting something, but she couldn’t understand the words. Talia soon lost all her strength and her limbs went limp.
Her vision grew darker and darker. She couldn’t even tell if her eyes were open or closed.
Will I never wake up again? If so, she wanted to see him one last time.
Talia tried desperately to put strength into her eyes. But all she could see was pitch-black darkness.
Tears continued to spring forth. It felt as though she might drown in them.
Talia opened her mouth to say something. But even that didn’t go as she wished. Only after swallowing back her shattered breaths did Talia realize that the thing she hadn’t managed to say was his name.
With that sorrowful realization as her last, she sank down as if plunging into a cold, dark place.
The drizzle that had been falling since dawn only began to subside slightly around noon.
Lucas, leaning his upper body against the battlements and wetting his mouth with wine, let out a heavy sigh as he spotted three or four women laying flowers at a small grave that had been made a few days ago.
The child who had come into the world after turning his mother into a half-corpse had been buried in the wet earth without even properly taking his first breath. And only after the Grand Duchess, who had been hovering between life and death, showed signs of improvement, was a modest funeral rite held for the stillborn child.
