Ch#119
119
“Are you sure you won’t regret this?”
Varkas asked, his voice tight and strained.
Fearing that any sign of hesitation would make him pull away and leave, Thalia nodded immediately.
After staring into her eyes for a long moment as if trying to pierce through her, the man finally wrapped an arm around her waist and stood up. Thalia instinctively clutched at the fabric of his clothes.
With a series of sharp snaps, two gold buttons that had been precariously clinging to his chest fell and rolled across the floor. While her eyes reflexively followed them, her back met the soft touch of the bedsheets.
Thalia looked up at him, her gaze clouded with anxiety. Varkas, having lowered her onto the bed, stripped off his open jacket and tossed it aside. The flickering light greedily licked at his upper body, which was sculpted as smoothly as a statue.
For a moment, her heart gave a frantic thrum.
Thalia hastily lowered her gaze. Varkas took her cheeks in both hands, forcing her head up so she had to look at him.
“It’s not too late. If you tell me to leave, I will go quietly.”
It was a question that tore at the remains of her pride.
Thalia forced strength into her reddened eyes and glared at him.
“My decision hasn’t changed.”
So please, stop asking.
As she swallowed the plea rising in her throat, his hand slid down her neck. Thalia stiffened instinctively.
Keeping his cool gaze fixed on her face as if testing her, Varkas felt along her skin, which was damp with cold sweat, and moved his hand to the top button at her cleavage. He lingered there for a long time, as if giving her time to refuse, before slowly undoing the loop.
Soon, the front of her dress fell open, revealing the swell of her cleavage.
His blue eyes, sunken deeper than usual, settled upon her. It felt as though her heart might break through her ribs and leap out of her body at any moment.
Biting her lip in shame, Thalia hurriedly caught his wrist as Varkas moved his hand down to the second button.
“The lights… turn them all off.”
He stood perfectly still, merely looking down at her. Thalia raised her voice at the gaze that seemed to see right through her shrunken, withered heart.
“Didn’t you hear me?”
Only then did Varkas straighten up and extinguish the candles placed throughout the room.
As deep shadows draped over the room, his silhouette grew faint. However, it wasn’t as dark as she wanted.
She gestured toward the fireplace with her chin.
“That too.”
The man, who had been watching her silently, approached the fireplace and lowered the cover.
Finally, a thick darkness swallowed the room. Thalia took a deep breath and squeezed out a suppressed voice.
“Now… come here.”
But no sound of movement followed.
Scanning the darkness with dilated pupils, Thalia’s lips trembled piteously.
“Varkas… W-where are you?”
As the silence stretched on, the sense of suffocation grew stronger.
Had he left her and disappeared?
Just as she was gasping for air, overcome by despair, one side of the bed dipped.
Catching sight of his shadow, Thalia reached out frantically.
She had no energy left to maintain her dignity. She wrapped her arms around his long, tense neck and inhaled his scent as if it were oxygen. She had to confirm that she wasn’t left alone in this darkness—that he was with her.
“Hold me. Now.”
Once her fit of panic finally subsided, she managed to whisper into his ear. The man, who had been as stiff as a stone, laid her down on the bed.
Thalia looked up with trembling eyes at the black shadow looming over her. A hand that was startlingly hot settled onto her ice-cold skin.
As she recoiled, startled by the hand clutching the front of her dress, her skirts were bunched up above her waist.
Realizing he was trying to undress her, Thalia cried out hysterically.
“N-no! Don’t take it off!”
The black shadow over her head stopped all movement instantly.
Thalia grabbed his wrist and added urgently, “Just do it with the clothes on.”
“…Are you asking me to ravish you?”
A thick, husky voice echoed in her ear.
Thalia barely swallowed the sob threatening to burst through her throat.
“It’s not ravishment. It’s just… just, this is how I want it.”
She felt she couldn’t endure his touch unless she hid her body inside the voluminous dress.
Swallowing the words that followed, she pulled his shoulders down with all her strength. After a moment of stiffness, Varkas let out a ragged breath and climbed over her.
Soon, a wet tongue pushed between her lips. As she habitually sucked on the flesh that entered deep enough to prick her throat, his hot breath filled her lungs.
It felt like inhaling flames. Swept up in the dizzying heat, she pulled his neck even closer, feeling a large hand wedge itself between her thighs.
Thalia hurriedly spread her knees, fearing his hand might touch her legs. Long, firm fingers settled directly onto her sensitive area. In an instant, an unexpected wave of revulsion surged up her spine.
Thalia hurriedly spat out his tongue and shook her head weakly.
“I-I don’t like that. Don’t.”
“If I don’t loosen you up, you might get hurt.”
A soothing voice scattered near her ear.
Thalia shook her head even more violently.
“I-it’s fine, so just do it.”
“…Not until you’re ready.”
Muttering in a low voice against her ear, Varkas began to move his fingers slowly.
Thalia’s stomach twitched as she dug her nails into his marble-hard shoulders. Every pore in her body seemed to open as cold sweat poured down.
It was horrifying that he was touching the filthiest part of her. In truth, she didn’t want him to know that such an ugly part even existed on her body.
Trembling, Thalia soon lost her patience and urged him in a harsh voice.
“T-that’s enough. It’s fine now… just do it.”
“Not yet.”
“I don’t want to… wait anymore. Just do it, quickly.”
If this took any longer, she felt she might lose her grip on consciousness. Just as she was about to say it, she felt the solid muscles surrounding his body contract all at once.
A moment later, the sound of a belt being unbuckled reached her, and then his waist, pulled tight without a gap, settled between her thighs. Thalia tensed her entire body like a drawn bowstring.
She felt a heavy pressure below. Instinctively, she tried to pull her hips back, but the pressure only became more intense.
As the sensation of being crushed inside her abdomen took hold, her mouth fell open involuntarily. No scream came out. Like a fish pulled onto land, she gasped silently, rolling his name on the tip of her tongue.
Varkas. Varkas. Varkas.
Like a drowning person clutching at straws, she repeated his name over and over, and in that time, he pushed in deeper.
A ragged sob finally broke out at the pain that felt like her body was being torn apart. Hearing the sound, Varkas finally ceased his entry.
In her vision, which had grown accustomed to the dark, she could faintly see his face, looking as if he were enduring something terrible.
At that moment, a pain greater than any physical agony weighed down her chest. That expression of his—looking as though he were enduring a penance—hurt a hundred times more than the act of rummaging through her insides.
Thalia bit her lip, suppressing the cries tangled in her throat.
Please, don’t scowl.
Don’t make such a hateful face.
As she swallowed the words circling in her mouth, the man, who had been sending her a pale gaze, slowly pulled his hips back.
Realizing he was about to stop, Thalia clung to his back desperately.
“No. Don’t stop here.”
There was no need to feel miserable. There was no need to suffer. I am simply using him for my own purposes.
Repeating this to herself, Thalia braved the pain and lifted her hips.
As the loosened union deepened, their sweat-slicked bodies became entangled as one. At the same time, the sound of teeth grinding reached her, followed by a somewhat blunt, heavy rhythm.
Thalia endured his movements with everything she had. Her lower abdomen gradually grew hot, as if she were holding a piece of red-hot iron.
It was so strange. That the body of a person who was always as cold as ice could be this hot.
Gasping as she held onto his sturdy, sweat-slicked frame, Thalia unconsciously raked her nails down his hard, swollen back muscles.
Her vision shook dizzily with the movements that were steadily growing faster.
She didn’t know how long she was pushed and pulled like a shipwrecked boat in a rough current, but the movements, which had grown increasingly violent, finally reached their end.
