Chapter 8
Even if they are memories you want to forget, forgetting them would mean losing the meaning of her regression. She had to discard the Demon Sword while maintaining her memories. As long as that sword existed, the 'happy life' she desired was impossible.
A place where she could securely seal the Demon Sword so it wouldn't fall into anyone else's hands, a place where she could obtain another Giosa. As far as she knew, there was only one place on the continent where both were possible.
The city of Ajenka, the Azure Knights.
Did she have to go back there after all? The land that was annihilated because of her. The land Yuriene protected. The land where she killed Yuriene. Eki, sighing at the overwhelming feeling, suddenly realized something.
"Bal."
[Ugh, seriously, don't shorten it like that. It lacks dignity, dignity!]
"You said that because I'm a Giosa Owner, I'm maintaining my memories even after turning back time, right?"
[Yeah. Why?]
"...Then, does that mean all the other Giosa Owners remember everything from before?"
She had killed four Giosa Owners. Vice-Captain Baron, who was beheaded while trying to save the citizens of Ajenka. Teresa, who died holding Dietrich back so he could escape. Dietrich, who persistently ran away for a night before finally being killed. And Yuriene, who couldn't even close his eyes.
Did they all remember? The thought made her throat parch. Her hands and feet turned icy cold.
[Well, I don't know.]
"Tell me for sure!"
[I said I don't know! Like me, their ego has to awaken for them to retain their memories. How would I know if they awakened their Giosa's ego or not?]
"...What if they did awaken it?"
[They'd remember everything, probably.]
The Demon Sword replied nonchalantly. Eki stared blankly into the air, her face as white as wax. Her limp hand crumpled the bedsheets.
"Is there no way to confirm it?"
[Ugh, I told you I don't know! The conditions for a Giosa's ego to awaken are different for each one.]
"Shut up and figure something out. Now."
Eki's eyes sank. The Demon Sword shuddered. Bardelgiosa knew all too well how tenacious she could be. It desperately protested.
[No, I really don't know! It's not like Giosas hold reunions or anything! The conditions for awakening are all different, and there are even guys who awaken but don't say a word and pretend to be normal swords, how am I supposed to know!]
If the Demon Sword was saying that much, it really didn't know. The strength drained from Eki's hand holding the sheets. She collapsed onto the bed.
'So, it's impossible to know whether the Giosa Owners will remember or not. Then... I have to act assuming they do remember.'
A groan escaped her lips involuntarily.
The Giosa Owners wouldn't know what happened after they died, of course, but even the memories they had up until their deaths were more than enough reason for them to try to kill her. Still, if she stayed in the Roaz Count's estate like this, she would hardly ever encounter them. Their worlds were too different.
The problem was that she had to go to the Azure Knights to obtain another Giosa to replace that damned Demon Sword. To the place where all four Giosa Owners were gathered.
Even if she was exposed as the Demon Sword's owner and had to fight, she wouldn't get hurt. But she had her family, whom she had barely regained. If she fought, neither the Azure Knights nor the Empire would leave the Roaz Count's estate alone.
So absolutely, she couldn't let them find out that she was the Demon Sword's owner. They had shown her mercy once, only to be annihilated; there was no way they would trust her again.
'...Would Yuriene trust me?'
She inadvertently had that thought, and Eki hurriedly shook her head. She recalled the look in his eyes before their swords clashed in the final moment. His sky-blue eyes, which seemed to be cracked. Her chest ached.
'You're crazy, Ekinesia. After betraying him like that, you think he'll trust you again? He'd be justified in swinging his sword at me the moment he recognizes me.'
Eki let out a hollow laugh. It felt like something viscous was crawling up her ankles. She bit her lower lip and shook off the gloom.
She had become accustomed to overcoming the Demon Sword, setting goals while collecting Giosas, and focusing on them. Her top priority was to obtain another Giosa to replace the Demon Sword. Then, she would dispose of the Demon Sword.
To do that, she had to enter the 'Giosa Hall,' the deepest and most heavily guarded place in the Azure Knights headquarters. This room, where ownerless Giosas were sealed and stored, was only opened in three cases.
First, when a Giosa that had been missing was found and stored.
Second, when an existing Giosa Owner died or retired and returned the Giosa.
Third, when a formal knight of the Azure Knights was given the opportunity to choose a Giosa.
The third case was one of the reasons why Master-level knights, who would be welcomed in any country, aspired to belong to the Azure Knights.
Becoming a knight of the Azure Knights gave them the opportunity to obtain a Giosa. Only a very small number of those who took that opportunity became Giosa Owners, but the opportunity itself was fair.
'The only possibilities are the first and third. Even if they're possibilities, the first is obviously out of the question.'
The Giosa that had been missing, namely Bardelgiosa, was in her hands. But the Demon Sword was something that should never be exposed.
Even if she assumed that the Giosa Owners didn't have memories from before her regression, revealing that she possessed the Demon Sword was too dangerous.
It would be one thing if she simply possessed an ownerless Demon Sword, but she was the owner.
Concealing her ownership was also impossible. The moment she relinquished ownership of the Demon Sword, she would forget her memories from before the regression.
'Sneaking into the Giosa Hall... it's not an easy task, and even if I succeeded, I'd be making the Azure Knights my enemy for life. In the end, there's only one way.'
Becoming a knight of the Azure Knights would allow her to obtain a Giosa through legitimate means. After obtaining another Giosa, she could abandon Bardelgiosa and report that she had found an ownerless Demon Sword somewhere. The Azure Knights would seal the Demon Sword more securely than anyone else.
'Right, without being exposed as the Demon Sword's owner, becoming a hawk of Azure and entering the Giosa Hall. That's the only way. They're Giosas I've collected before, so I can just go in and pick any one of them.'
She wasn't worried about becoming a hawk of Azure. The problem was whether the Giosa Owners might have their memories.
Eki glared at Bardelgiosa lying next to her before getting up. She stood in front of the full-length mirror and stared intently at herself.
While she was tainted by the Demon Sword, she had always had black hair and black eyes. Unlike people born with black hair and black eyes, it flickered grotesquely, but it was certain that it was difficult to guess her original color.
Her whole body was covered in black stains, and she was filthy with blood, dirt, and sweat. She wore clothes that were easy to move in, almost rags, and her hair was cut or tangled as if it had been torn out in clumps.
She had changed so much that even her family would have had difficulty recognizing her. If they examined her closely, they might be able to recognize her, but she didn't give them the chance. She didn't leave anyone she encountered alive.
As a result, no one knew that Ekinesia Roaz of the Kirie Empire, of the Roaz Count's estate, was the demon wielding the Demon Sword. Even the Giosa Owners didn't know her name. The demon's identity was officially unknown.
In contrast, she was now a noble lady with distinct pink hair that was hard to forget once seen, and her identity was certain.
'It's possible. I can hide it.'
She just had to appear as the noble lady Ekinesia Roaz. There was no connection between Ekinesia Roaz and the demon of the Demon Sword. In the worst-case scenario, even if all the Giosa Owners retained their memories, she just had to avoid doing anything that would remind them of her days wielding the Demon Sword.
'Avoiding disheveled or dirty appearances, not revealing my bare face, and even wearing makeup would make it even harder to recognize me. Because I'm so different from then.'
Her swordsmanship, of course, had to show a different side from her days as a demon. She was stronger now than she was when she overcame it, so she could do it.
However, it wasn't easy for a knight to always dress up or wear makeup like a noble lady. If she insisted on doing something that was obviously uncomfortable, people would find it strange.
And she didn't want to take the risk of showing her bare face. Wearing a mask was out of the question.
It was impossible to avoid being noticed from the start. Even if she could blend in during her Military Cadet days, if she set a record for the shortest knighthood appointment, everyone would pour their attention on her. Just like Yuriene had become the talk of every tea time.
But she didn't want to waste more than three years just because she didn't want to be noticed. Three years was long enough.
Cross-dressing? She had no intention of doing anything suspicious like creating a fake identity when she had a solid one. It would also be difficult to appear as a man. Her figure and face were extremely feminine, and her chest was quite large, so it wasn't something that could be dealt with with a chest binder.
No matter how she thought about it, dressing up flamboyantly was the best option. If she had a good enough reason. As she pondered, a way to dress up without arousing suspicion easily came to mind.
'I can just make it my personality. A picky young lady. Hates getting dirty, hates getting sweaty, hates appearing in front of others without dressing up, and never wears anything like training clothes.'
It wasn't a difficult task. The situation was what it was, so she had always dressed casually before her regression, but Eki enjoyed dressing up. Besides, Ekinesia Roaz before she became entangled with the Demon Sword was the epitome of a picky noble lady.
She just had to temporarily give up the common sense of matching her attire to the time and place. It would be inconvenient in many ways when handling a sword, but that was fine.
'Since I'll always have to wear gloves because of the Demon Sword's mark... I can say that the reason I don't take off my gloves is because I don't want my hands to get damaged.'
It wouldn't be tolerated in a normal royal guard, but it was possible in Azure. As long as they upheld basic chivalry and the duties of Azure, they didn't interfere with the details. Each and every one of them was a Master-level powerhouse with diverse nationalities, so the military discipline was lax.
Her attire wouldn't be a problem in becoming a knight. Her skills were so excessive that she had to hide them appropriately.
She was confident that she could take on one Giosa Owner even while wearing a puffed petticoat and high heels. Of course, without using her Giosa, Bardelgiosa.
Her body wasn't as well-trained as it used to be, so if that Owner was Yuriene or if there were more than two, she would have to use Bardelgiosa.
It was the result of honing her demonic talent through years of blood-soaked experience.
The fact that a normal noble lady was skilled in swordsmanship could be glossed over by saying that she had been secretly practicing alone since before. If they suspected that it wasn't possible to learn to that level on her own, she could insist that it was because she was a genius. It wasn't a lie either.
So, she would become a genius knight with a strange personality who wore dresses, makeup, and high heels.
It was a setting so absurd that it wouldn't even appear in a romance novel. That was exactly what she liked about it. It would be difficult to associate someone so ridiculous and absurd with the demon of the Demon Sword.
'Good. I'll get a lot of flak, but I won't be suspected. Well, the curses are cute compared to the resentful words I heard back then.'
