Chapter 71
Rangiosa's memories were not continuous. Cadet Ekinesia carried the Giosas that could not be made into crests because she did not meet the owner requirements, but she often left them in a safe place. It seemed that Bardelgiosa was the only Giosa she had awakened. Even if she met the owner requirements, she didn't seem to want to use them.
Still, compared to other Giosas, Rangiosa was almost always by her side.
She would often prop up the Holy Sword, which she couldn't touch, and stare at it blankly.
Yurien couldn't know what she was thinking as she looked at the Holy Sword. However, he knew well enough what kind of years she had spent. Even with such fragmented memories, it was more than enough.
He saw her visit the Roaz mansion.
She looked around the abandoned mansion with an expression that seemed to collapse in despair, but she didn't collapse. Eventually, she checked every place, even the places where bloodstains remained.
Then, she sat on the central staircase of the mansion and stayed up all night. Ekinesia, sitting alone on the stairs, was expressionless.
He thought it would be better if she cried. But in the end, she didn't cry. Except for that one time, she never returned to the Roaz mansion.
Ekinesia occasionally visited the memorial monument built in the southern part of the empire. Yurien had erected that monument as part of the aftermath of the massacre. Whenever she had to pass by the area, she always stopped there.
Each time, she couldn't approach the memorial monument and just stood far away, watching for a long time.
Many people offered flowers or prayed under the huge memorial monument. Every time, she watched it all, did nothing, and quietly left the place.
She seemed to deliberately avoid the destroyed Ajenka. When looking at the map and making plans, she always took a route that avoided Ajenka.
Ekinesia used any means to get her hands on a Giosa. She tried to go through legal channels as much as possible, but in reality, it was almost impossible for her, who was close to being a mercenary, to legally obtain something like a Giosa.
Yurien saw her kneeling before an executive of an underworld organization to get information about a Giosa.
Even as her head was trampled on by boots stained with filth, she remained calm. However, she couldn't stand them mocking the Azure Knights.
"I wanted to trade nicely if possible, you son of a bitch. That person is not someone you can casually talk about."
In the end, after fighting the entire organization and being covered in blood, she grabbed the executive by the collar and said that.
Sometimes, a merchant who had luckily obtained a Giosa would give her a mission to complete in exchange for the Giosa, a mission that was obviously meant for her to die there. Still, she accepted it.
It was a place with many grotesque Monsters. Ekinesia usually didn't get hurt when dealing with people, but she often got hurt when dealing with Monsters.
Unlike people, Monsters often showed erratic behavior. For example, suddenly spewing acidic liquid from their limbs.
She completed the mission alone, getting injured in the process, and returned to the merchant. The merchant, of course, didn't give her the Giosa and tried to poison her.
Perhaps she hadn't expected the poison, and she ended up being poisoned. Because it was such a strong poison, her body faltered even though she spat it out as soon as she took a sip. Even in that state, Ekinesia swept through the merchant's mansion and found the Giosa.
Of course, she suffered terribly from the poisoning symptoms for a while afterward, hovering between life and death. There was no one to nurse her or take care of her. She suffered alone and healed herself alone.
Mana could strengthen and assist the body, but it couldn't cure poison or disease. Still, thanks to strengthening her body with Mana, she was able to withstand the lethal dose of poison and heal her body on her own.
She had even jumped into a Node because a Giosa had been swept into it. The Node had appeared near an execution ground, so the inside of the Node was incredibly gruesome. Ekinesia almost died several times inside.
Even after dealing with all the Monsters while becoming battered and bruised, the problem remained. She had to endure inside until the Node disappeared on its own, but she had no food. There wasn't much to eat inside the Node either. In the end, she ate Monster meat and drank Monster blood, and she almost died again.
If she hadn't been beyond the level of Master, she would have died long ago. Yurien knew what to call the level she had reached.
Zenith.
Beyond the master of the sword, one who has reached the pinnacle of the sword. One who appears only once in a century, a level that ordinary people don't even know exists.
Even with the skills to live well in any country, she wallowed in the mud, collecting only Giosas.
She didn't give up until the end. She didn't collapse. But she wasn't whole.
Yurien saw her wake up from a nightmare. He learned that she often couldn't sleep and stayed up all night with her eyes open.
She hardly slept properly. To be exact, she either collapsed from overworking her body or kept waking up from nightmares.
On days when she unintentionally committed murder while being swayed by the murderous intent accumulated in the Demon Sword, the trauma became even stronger. She had harmed herself because of it.
Yurien saw her cutting her right hand with a knife.
Thus, time passed, and in 1644.
Ekinesia Roaz set foot in Ajenka for the first time since that day. She faced the Divine Sword Kairosgiosa.
"Send me back to the past where I didn't kill anyone."
"Because I want to save them. ...The people I killed."
"I'm as good as dead now."
"Because the current me... can't be happy at all. I can't even sleep peacefully..."
He couldn't hear the voice of Kairosgiosa, but he could guess what kind of conversation was taking place just from what she was saying. The words she mumbled in a hoarse voice drew a clear trajectory and struck inside him.
She, at the end of that long suffering, finally obtained a miracle. The Divine Sword accepted her will. Time is distorted. The world is rewound.
At the same time, Yurien opened his eyes.
It was early morning. The newly risen sunlight streamed through the window, soaking the room. He sat in the chair, clutching his chest and bowing his head. His breathing was a mess.
"Cough..."
[You saw a lot of memories in one night, so you'll be a little dizzy. Are you okay?]
The Holy Sword clicked its tongue and asked. Yurien gripped his throbbing head. His blurry eyes groped the air. The images of her that he had watched swirled inside him.
The very fact that he was alive and breathing was the miracle she had achieved. And he knew what she had done to obtain that miracle.
He felt like he was going crazy. It felt like his insides were being gouged out and crushed. Like the world was being completely destroyed and reassembled.
He sank deep into the chair. As he tilted his head back, tears that he didn't even know were welling up streamed down. He didn't wipe them away and raised his hand to cover his eyes.
Ekinesia.
Ah, really, I.
I don't know what to do with you.
She was the strongest person Yurien had ever seen in his life, but she wasn't a god. Deep, dark wounds remained inside her.
Yurien couldn't dare to measure the depth of those wounds. The beginning of those wounds was him. If it hadn't been for him, she would have lived happily as just a normal Count's daughter.
What would happen if she knew this fact? Terrible guilt. If he confessed to her that her life was ruined just because of his gaze, would she be angry? Would she hate him?
If she resented him, what should he do? What would be the way to apologize to her even a little? Is there even a way to apologize?
Even though it wasn't her fault, she ended up turning everything back and apologizing to everyone who had been sacrificed for her. Becoming the sun, she finally achieved a miracle.
Nevertheless, no one knows her sacrifice or effort. They couldn't know. Because those times had all been erased. Even he, who saw it through the Holy Sword, only knows a part of it.
Is it even possible to compensate her for those lonely and long years of endurance?
Wouldn't he ruin this opportunity that she barely obtained after suffering through that pain if he approached her?
'Even so, why am I...'
Wanting to approach her?
Throughout watching those memories, he struggled to reach her, again and again.
He wanted to wipe away her tears. He wanted to embrace her as she woke up from nightmares. He wanted to stay by her side so she wouldn't suffer alone. He wanted to hold a sword with her so she wouldn't fight alone. He wanted to stop her from blaming herself when she was swayed by the Demon Sword.
He wanted to be by her side.
He couldn't. Even when she was fighting the evil of the Demon Sword, even when she was trying to turn back time, he only watched. He had no choice but to watch.
Then, what about now that it has started again?
She has come to exist in a place where he can reach her if he reaches out his hand. He doesn't know what her purpose is in becoming a Military Cadet, but now he can approach her whenever he wants if he wants to.
If he approaches. If he approaches her. To the current her, what kind of existence would he be?
Wouldn't his existence itself be a trigger that reminds her of nightmares? If he appeared before her, who had barely turned everything back, wouldn't it be like stirring up her wounds?
Still. Even so, perhaps. Maybe. Everything will change in this second life that she has obtained. Wouldn't his relationship with her change too?
Desire and fear alternately took over his mind. The desire to approach. The fear that tragedy would be repeated. And a thick, irrational guilt surged.
He was dizzy. Yurien didn't even hear what the Holy Sword was saying and agonized for a long time.
He didn't show up at the royal guard for three days from that day. Baron expressed concern, and Dietrich came to visit, but he only took a vacation and holed himself up in his residence.
Three days later, Yurien headed to the Azure Knights headquarters. He burst into Baron's office without even knocking. Baron was so surprised, holding a quill, because he had never entered so recklessly before.
Yurien, who was striding towards him, looked haggard and precarious. On the other hand, his sky-blue eyes were so deep that they seemed to be blazing.
He stood in front of Baron's desk and asked in a strangely calm voice.
"Is there a procedural problem with appointing a Military Academy freshman as a Squire?"
"...Excuse me?"
"I'm going to appoint a Squire."
Squire?
The Master, who had never even appointed a temporary Squire and had left it to be replaced according to the Cadet rankings, what is he saying now? Besides, what, a freshman? The selection test results haven't even come out yet?
Horrified, Baron failed to control his strength and broke the quill he was holding.
Yurien de Harden Kirie's second life began like that.
