Chapter 163. I Was Relieved by Your Pain
Betty, who had carefully opened the door to nurse Olivia, let out a quiet sigh at the sight of the imposing man's silhouette, which was as expected.
It had been a week already, and the Princess consort was still unconscious. The fortunate thing, perhaps, was that the surgical site was healing well without festering.
The Prince had been guarding her side, never leaving for a moment. He only managed to snatch brief naps by her bedside and barely ate his meals. He simply kept gazing at the Princess consort's face.
As Betty turned to leave, closing the door, she gathered her courage and stepped inside.
Noah's face, which had been fixed on Olivia's, had changed unrecognizably in the span of a week, regardless of who came and went. His hair, unkempt and messy, his beard, grown out without a shave, and the dark circles under his eyes and sunken cheeks spoke of his lack of proper sleep and food.
“……”
Betty stared at him blankly.
It was strange, but the royal, who had at times felt less than human, suddenly felt like a person with red blood, just like herself.
Betty placed the bowl of warm water and a towel to the side and spoke.
“Please, go rest a little. While you're away, I'll stay by Her Highness's side……”
“Just leave it and go.”
As expected. Cutting her off mid-sentence and saying only what he wanted, he was undeniably royalty at his core.
But it had been a week already.
No matter how well Noah cared for Olivia, it could never compare to the touch of Betty, who had been doing this her entire life.
Betty, mustering her courage, said,
“I am saying this because Her Highness may need my touch, Your Highness. You cannot simply clean what is visible.”
Only then did Noah lift his eyes to meet hers. Her heart pounded at his cool gaze, but Betty did not avert her eyes.
Perhaps it was the resolve that she would be dismissed once this journey ended, but a strange courage even welled up within her.
“And for when Her Highness awakens, you will need to take care of yourself as well. Your face has suffered greatly.”
“……”
She expected a cynical retort, thinking her words were too presumptuous. Instead, Noah blinked slowly, then slowly ran his hand over his face.
He rubbed his rough chin for a long time, then lowered his gaze to Olivia. After a moment, he stood up.
“Call me if anything happens.”
“Yes, I understand.”
His footsteps, unlike his imposing physique, made no sound as he crossed the room. At the door, he turned back to her and said,
“Please take good care of her, Betty.”
Betty, who had been wringing out the towel she had just dipped in water, turned her head in surprise. Noah was already gone.
Noah, leaving the room, walked towards the deck with heavy steps. Passing through the narrow corridor and climbing the stairs, the sea breeze, carrying a chill, swept over him.
Noah took a small medicine bottle from his pocket. The physician had said it was a potent sleeping pill.
“Who takes this? Unless one suffers from severe insomnia, such a drug is rarely prescribed……”
Why, even by my side, did you have no choice but to take this?
Holding the medicine bottle, Noah tried, for the first time, to put himself in Olivia's shoes.
What was the world like through your eyes?
What kind of path did you have to forge?
At the end of those questions, he thought, for the first time, about the futility of status.
Noah leaned against the railing, tilting his head back.
It was a night when a full moon hung in the black night sky.
As he stared blankly at the moon, a past not so long ago came to mind.
On the ship heading to Pulder to propose to Olivia, he had looked at the moon, tilting his head back just like this. Gazing at the night sky that draped like a curtain, he recalled Olivia, her black hair fluttering in the wind.
Looking at the report detailing her suffering, he had felt relief rather than pity.
Noah covered his eyes with his hand.
“Endure, bear, hold on. Aren't you sick of it? I'm asking if you, Olivia, want to do that pathetic thing even by my side.”
“If you receive something like that, the period will be extended.”
“That house that was crumbling. You couldn't open the windows for fear, even in the harsh heat, so you desperately attached locks. You must have thought you could escape that house if you married me. You didn't want to be ignored again by the woman who struck your cheek after committing a wrong.”
“Don't pretend you wanted to do the work of a Princess consort from the start.”
The words he had spat out mercilessly flew back at him like daggers.
If he could, he wanted to go back to the past and shut his own mouth.
For the entire week he had stayed by Olivia's side, he had imagined the world she had faced, and each time, he had crumbled.
“Stay still. Do nothing. Just, just… live as if you're dead, just by breathing!!!!”
The resounding shout echoed in his ears.
Her raised eyebrows, her eyes filled with strong will, her expression angry yet somehow on the verge of tears.
The one person she constantly mentioned, even in her unconscious state, the one person whose pace she had to match, was only one person.
“Grandmother……”
The grandmother whose name he didn't even know, the one who raised her.
Noah turned his head to look in the direction of Pulder, where the bow of the ship pointed.
It was then.
“Your Highness.”
An officer appeared, having heard he had left his room. The officer seemed surprised by Noah's haggard face but quickly composed himself and said,
“We have entered the Bahma Joint Zone. You must either return to Herot or seek permission from the Administration Office.”
Return to Herot, or…
Noah thought of a small house.
A small house with a single, low, hard chair placed in the middle. A house where the only thing to see was the wisteria hanging by the door.
Yet, it was the house where Olivia wandered even in her unconsciousness.
The house where young Olivia was raised. The house where she was, in part, melted and steeped.
What kind of person is Olivia, and what does she like? The answer to those questions would also be held within that house.
How could he have dared to call such a house crumbling and dilapidated?
After a long moment, Noah commanded the officer.
“I will go to the Bahma Joint Zone Administration Office to obtain permission. After receiving permission, we will head to Pulder.”
The officer was momentarily taken aback but soon replied that he understood and disappeared. Noah watched his receding back with a heavy gaze, then slowly let out a long breath.
With this choice, he would likely have to relinquish his status as Prince. Not only had he set sail without the King's permission, but he was also heading to Pulder unilaterally.
But even if it meant this, he felt he had to go to Pulder, to that house, now.
“Please wake up, Liv.”
If those smooth black eyes would look at him again, this would be the first thing he would say.
“…I'm sorry.”
A pained apology shattered and scattered on the sea breeze.
⚜ ⚜ ⚜
Olivia's soul resided in the deepest part of the vast, deep sea within her.
As dawn broke and the chill seeped into her clothes, wrinkled hands carefully tucked them in. Olivia held the warm hands and climbed the stairs of the carriage, which felt impossibly high.
“Liv.”
A gentle voice, and simultaneously, the comforting warmth of a potato, sweet and soft, between her teeth.
But then, her heart pounded.
“Oh, honestly. You can't eat that in the carriage! You mustn't feed her that inside the carriage!”
A sharp reprimand made her knees tremble, and an inexplicable shame and humiliation surged. Olivia lowered her head as much as possible and swallowed the food between her teeth with all her might.
“I am truly sorry. But I had to leave so early in the morning, and I couldn't feed her anything before leaving, and after attending classes all morning, it wouldn't be until around noon……”
“What does that have to do with me!”
“…I am sorry.”
“If you're going to be like this, get off and take another carriage!”
“…I'm sorry.”
Olivia lowered her head and looked to the side.
Her grandmother, who was more magnificent than anyone in the world, was bowing her head obsequiously.
Simply for giving her a potato to hold between her teeth.
“Why all the fuss about sending a girl to an expensive school only for nobles, honestly.”
The cruel taunt, piercing her ears, mercilessly shredded her small, tender heart.
“…Grandmother, I want to get off.”
Olivia whispered, summoning all her strength. Round teardrops fell before they could even form on her cheeks.
Her grandmother silently took off her outer coat, placed it over Olivia's head, and pulled her into a hug.
Immersed in pitch-black darkness, Olivia imagined all the way to school.
When this darkness lifted, she would be standing in a wide field filled with bright sunlight, laughter, and the scent of fragrant grass. She would be in that comfortable place where her parents and grandparents stood like a protective barrier, looking down on her.
But what awaited her when she opened her eyes was a school with a very tall, imposing clock tower.
Private carriages carrying students entered one after another through the wide-open gates.
“Attend your classes with the mindset of not missing a single thing.”
Grandmother, the male student sitting next to me calls me a commoner girl instead of my name.
“You must ask and ask again about anything you don't know, and make it your own.”
Some teachers treat me as if I don't exist.
“Have a good day.”
Olivia felt tears welling up but held them back. Then, she turned her reluctant feet.
As she walked with slow steps, her grandmother suddenly pulled her into a hug from behind.
“This is the best thing I can give you. Learn, and stand on your own, completely.”
At the time, those words sounded harsh.
‘You say that because you don't know how I feel entering a school that feels like hell.’
But as time passed, Olivia, facing that scene again, clearly saw the tears welling up in the old woman's eyes as she hugged the little girl's back.
