148. You, Since That Autumn Night
The words crumbled and leaked out small from her mouth, but Pierre heard them clearly. Just as he was about to say something to Olivia, someone grabbed his arm forcefully, stopping him.
He turned his head sharply to see Jonan gesturing with his eyes towards somewhere as he pulled him back.
In the distance, Noah, appearing in just a shirt without a jacket, was striding through the dark night.
“Olivia.”
Olivia, who had been looking at the warship, paused. The name in the cool voice, like a deep valley, felt very special. As the voice flowed into her ear and settled in her heart, she felt something sink within her with a thud.
Olivia turned her head towards the sound.
Hair as dazzling as gold, cool eyes, the incarnation of royalty, even making the dim light pale… My…….
“Noah.”
Calling his name made her heart flutter, and the fluttering made her want to see him.
She was already seeing him, but she felt a contradictory feeling of wanting to see him so much that she was restless.
He was her husband, but it still didn't feel real. Of all the things she had, he was still a stranger.
Noah stopped in his tracks and didn't move. His already sunken and shadowed eyes seemed particularly prominent today.
Suddenly afraid, Olivia smiled brightly at him on purpose. Perhaps because she had smiled so much today, smiling was easy.
“Good evening.”
Then, he frowned and muttered something. He approached urgently, as if making up for having been still until now. Then, he snatched the shawl from Olivia's hand, draped it over her shoulders, and tied the ribbon at her nape himself.
“Oh, but I’m not cold?”
As she looked up at him, who was very close, Noah blinked his narrowed eyes and asked.
“Did you drink?”
Olivia found it absurd for some reason, so she looked up at him and chuckled.
“A little?”
Noah turned his head sharply to find Jonan, but he had already disappeared with his colleagues.
Meanwhile, Olivia untied the ribbon that felt constricting.
“It’s hot, it’s hot.”
Noah quickly wrapped his arm around Olivia's shoulder to stop her from taking off the shawl.
“You, you just feel hot because of the alcohol. It’s not hot at all.”
“Huh? But Noah, you’re just in a shirt? Is it fair to say you’re cold in that outfit?”
“How much did you drink, exactly?”
Was it because she was drunk? Or was it because he always confused her?
His cool voice sounded affectionate. Olivia wanted to lean on his affection, borrowing the courage of her intoxication.
Olivia rested her head on Noah's chest. She could feel his chest hardening. Olivia leaned against him and raised her head. His face, stained with thick darkness, seemed angry, and also bewildered.
Her drunken heart murmured.
What does it matter?
Olivia smiled with all her heart and whispered.
“I came because I missed you, Noah.”
“……”
“Because you left and didn’t come back.”
“That’s—”
Noah looked straight ahead, moistened his dry lips, and heaved his chest.
Olivia followed his gaze and spoke as she thought of things.
“I want to go to your office.”
“…Okay, let’s go.”
It sounded like a sigh for some reason, but Olivia was just happy to go to his office.
The breeze brushing her cheek was refreshing and pleasant, and she had met Noah, whom she had missed. She was walking, thinking that she had done well to go out today, when Noah suddenly stopped.
“Does your leg hurt?”
Normally, she would have said she was fine, but Olivia nodded and answered honestly.
“My heels hurt because I’m wearing new shoes. They sting.”
He was silent for a moment, then sighed again.
“You, don’t drink in the future.”
Then, he suddenly picked Olivia up. Olivia gasped, but soon burst into a clear laugh and wrapped her arms around Noah's neck.
“Don’t overdo it, Liv.”
Olivia's laughter subsided at the voice that sounded like scraping a rough surface with a sharp chisel. She couldn't stand how good their touching body heat felt, so she buried her nose in his arms and took a deep breath.
There was a pungent smell of tobacco mixed with the strong musk scent. Olivia looked at the world quickly passing by over Noah's shoulder and murmured.
“Do you smoke a lot?”
“…Why. Do you hate the smell of tobacco?”
He asked as he strode up the stairs, and Olivia hesitated for a moment before nodding.
“I hate the pungent smell. And it’s bad for your health.”
“…I understand.”
That’s strange. His voice is cool and heartless, so why does it feel so sweet?
Olivia hugged Noah's neck tightly and buried her face in his chest. The hand holding her seemed to gain strength, and then she felt a vibration like a growl.
The speed increased as if she would fly away, and soon she heard the sound of roughly opening and closing the door.
And almost at the same time, her head was thrown back, and hot lips collided with hers. The hot and rough sensation seeping through her teeth made the senses of her dazed body feel electrifyingly alive. He entangled her, sucked her in, and drove her.
He pulled her nape hard with one hand, and Olivia clung to him even more. The kiss, which had seemed violent, suddenly continued softly, as if soothing her.
She couldn't stand these moments. Because in these moments, she really felt like she was worthy.
A moment when everything was rubbed away and only the two of them seemed to remain. A moment when a sliver of hope arose that maybe you loved me too.
Then, Noah, who had been fiercely digging into her teeth, paused and slowly raised his head. She could see his pupils trembling slightly.
Noah, looking down at her with eyes filled with complex emotions, walked to the sofa and put her down. Olivia only realized that she was crying when he wiped her cheek with his hand.
“Don’t cry.”
As she nodded, tears fell and wet the back of his hand. Noah's eyebrows twitched and his expression hardened.
He took a slow breath, then knelt down and lifted her foot. The neat black shoe was small, barely larger than the palm of his hand. Looking down at her foot, Noah muttered as if scolding her.
“Why did you stay, even though your feet hurt?”
Olivia, who was leaning against the sofa and staring blankly at the scene, suddenly remembered the Queen Consort's words and smiled. Noah glanced at her and shook his head.
“Laughing, then crying, then laughing again. You have quite the drinking habit, Princess Consort.”
“No, it’s not that… Her Majesty the Queen Consort said that when you were young, you used to run around that large vineyard and eat grapes. She said that on the days you went to the vineyard, you were so full that you didn’t even eat dinner and just went to sleep.”
“My mother said all sorts of things.”
Noah put his other foot on his thigh and unbuttoned it.
His touch was delicate and careful. Olivia's inner self suddenly whispered as she watched him.
‘Did he love Isabel?’
‘What am I to Noah? A nuisance? A heavy responsibility?’
But why are you so kind? And then you turn away coldly.
But, I…….
“Noah.”
Noah, who was just taking off her shoe, raised his head. Olivia slid her gaze along the beautiful lines of her husband's face and said each word with sincerity.
“I know that to you, I am a heavy responsibility placed on your shoulders.”
The moment Noah's face hardened, Olivia's vision also blurred.
“What were you thinking when you crossed the wide sea to propose to a woman you met fleetingly one autumn night? …Maybe I was like a yoke that you couldn’t escape.”
She could feel him gripping her foot tightly.
“What are you……,”
“But to me, you are.”
As the tears that had welled up blurred her vision flowed down her cheeks, she met the green eyes that resembled a perfect autumn.
The man standing on the old stone path.
If the person standing on that path at that time had been someone else, would she have followed him?
The emotions she had built up were so diverse that she couldn't dare to express them.
Olivia smiled with her eyes long and curved, and whispered with sincerity.
“I love you.”
After saying those words, Olivia couldn't bear to look at Noah, so she looked up at the ceiling. Tears that had leaked out through the pointed ends of her eyes flowed into her ear canals.
“Even though the crumbling house, the consistent disregard of people… those things weighed down on my life… I didn’t just follow you with the single-minded desire to escape from that place.”
As water flowed into her ears, she felt as if she were submerged in a deep sea. Then, she felt her already hazy mind slowly sinking.
Olivia decided to leave her sinking consciousness as it was. She closed her eyes and continued slowly.
“It was because you were the person standing on that path that day… that’s why I… decided to follow you.”
“…Why.”
Olivia smiled quietly at the faint question that sounded distant.
“I don’t know… You, since that autumn night…….”
He, who looked down at her under the bright moonlight as if she were hopeless.
He, who seemed very annoyed, but still walked at her pace,
“I kept thinking about you…….”
The slow words eventually faded and disappeared.
And Noah was watching the moment she fell asleep with a face that looked as if it would collapse.
