Episode 130: God of War and Lust
I don't know what state of mind I was in when I left the Royal Palace.
My heart felt half-floating.
"You've worked hard. I'm very pleased."
The King's praise kept shaking me.
From some point on, Olivia's efforts felt empty. It seemed to bear fruit, but it would collapse one day, so I was always anxious. I was constantly worried about when the carefully built tower would collapse.
Olivia hugged her bag tightly.
No matter what, I wanted to do this congratulatory speech well.
Soon after, when the carriage arrived at the mansion, Betty and a few maids greeted her with bright faces.
"Welcome, Princess Consort."
I felt like they were welcoming her especially warmly, both yesterday and today.
"I'm back. Where is His Highness?"
"He's here."
When I looked up, light was leaking from the bedroom. Olivia took off her hat and gloves, handed them to Betty, and hurried across the entrance hall.
I quickly climbed the stairs, turned at the landing, and walked down the quiet hallway. After carefully knocking on the bedroom door, I opened it, and Noah's unique scent filled the warm air.
My heart, which had calmed down for a moment, started beating again. Beyond the slowly opening door, I could see him sitting on the sofa.
He was drinking alone.
With darkness swirling behind him, he slowly looked up at her. It felt like a cold wind was at the end of his gaze.
His atmosphere, the way he looked at her, had definitely changed. Olivia, who was sensitive to the gazes of others, clearly felt the subtle difference.
And I had already encountered this look before.
At the department store cafe, in the carriage on the way back.
"Liv."
Noah called Olivia.
Olivia put down the bag she was holding and cautiously approached him.
From some point on, I hadn't even desired birthday presents. The word 'desire' was too luxurious for me.
But this time, I was greedy.
I wanted both his warm gaze and my role as Princess consort.
Olivia didn't sit across from Noah, but next to him. Noah looked at her questioningly, as if asking what was wrong, but Olivia carefully took his hand.
He looked at Olivia's hand and then raised his eyes. The eyes that met hers were cold.
"Why... why are you so angry with me?"
"......"
Perhaps because it was dark, I couldn't see his face properly, so Olivia tilted her head a little more.
"Huh? What's wrong...?"
He looked down at her silently. Feeling uneasy, Olivia moved a little closer to him.
"Noah......"
A strong scent of wine wafted from him as he got closer. Fortunately, he didn't push her away. Instead, he slowly approached as if to kiss her.
But Noah didn't seem like he would ever answer why he was angry or what he didn't like about her.
I had the sad thought that maybe it was consideration.
Yes. It would be even sadder to hear it from his mouth.
Just before his lips touched hers, Olivia took out the sincerity she had kept deep in her heart and whispered.
"I will make sure that your honor is not diminished because of me."
It was a thought that Olivia had unconsciously pushed away, one she never wanted to see again.
The first commoner Princess consort.
People focused on the phrase 'commoner Princess consort' and overlooked the existence of the Prince hidden behind it. If there was the first commoner Princess consort, wouldn't there also be 'the Prince who had to marry a commoner for the first time in the Royal Family'?
What must Noah have felt when he had to marry her? What was the weight of the pride and honor he had to give up by being tied to her under the same name, Rosemond Astrid?
The wall of status that she experienced was high and solid.
Status is connected to birth and is the cornerstone of existence built from the deepest part of the unconscious. As clear as the distinction between men and women is status.
Noah would have had to give that up.
If the love that the world talked about was the bond between them, it would have been easier. But there was no such bond.
Olivia knew that the flashlight she had given him two years ago was not in the mansion. It wasn't broken or broken down and stuck somewhere, it was just gone.
I didn't ask Noah about it on purpose. I knew that asking about the whereabouts of the flashlight would only hurt myself. After all, it was something I had forced on him. Maybe he doesn't even remember.
When you love someone, you want to stand in the same place.
Olivia swallowed her tears and said.
"I will endure, I will persevere, ...I will never do anything pathetic again."
"......"
Noah was silent for a moment, then said in a suppressed voice.
"...I'm not angry with you. I'm......"
"......"
"I'm... I'm just worried about you."
Olivia stared at him blankly.
Through the dense curtain of darkness, it felt like his eyes were red for some reason.
It's her who's heartbroken by the word 'pathetic', so why......
Why does he look like he's been hurt?
Olivia unconsciously reached out and slowly stroked his hair. As she gently brushed the golden hair that fell over his forehead to the side of his ear, he closed his eyes as if feeling the touch.
Dim light, his scent mixed with musk, the sweet scent of wine in every languid breath.
Olivia was gradually leaning towards him. I stared blankly at the sharp, shaded, high nose and kissed his lips.
His lips were soft yet rough at the ends. I slowly licked his lower lip, recalling the kisses he had given me so far. I could feel his body hardening instantly.
The scent of alcohol leaked out with hot breaths between parted lips. My head was dizzy as if I was drunk without drinking any alcohol.
I wanted to delve deeper into him, so as I got closer, I was already straddling his lap.
"Haa......"
He let out a languid moan.
Olivia took her lips off his and looked down at Noah. Leaning back against the sofa, looking up at her, he was incredibly sensual and seductive. His long, alluring eyes were distorted with passion, and his wet lips were dark.
When I lowered my gaze a little further from his lips, I saw his Adam's apple, which was sharply protruding as he tilted his head back.
As I slowly stroked his Adam's apple with a hazy hand, Noah closed his eyes and heaved his chest.
"Ha......"
Olivia realized why the gods of war and lust were the same.
The vulnerable gap shown by the strongest person was itself sensuality.
As if possessed, she kissed his neck. I left a mark on the most vulnerable part of the man who seemed the most perfect in the world.
"Noah."
When Olivia, who had taken her lips off his neck, called him, he slowly lifted his eyelids.
In his beautiful eyes, which contained the golden shimmering light, there was only the passion to desire her.
The look he had at the department store cafe was nowhere to be found.
Olivia looked down at him and slowly took off her coat. Every time I unbuttoned the white blouse one by one, his eyes flickered wildly as he looked at her.
Olivia felt him slowly collapsing. When I finally unbuttoned the last button of the blouse, he instantly pulled Olivia and pushed her onto the sofa.
He tore off the precariously hanging blouse as if to rip it off, and kissed her lips roughly. The hands that reached between the skirt were also rough and impatient.
While everything was in disarray, Olivia looked into his eyes again. His eyes were still full of passion.
Thank goodness.
"...Why?"
Noah paused and asked, perhaps because I was smiling without realizing it.
Wanting him to collapse further towards her, she whispered like a femme fatale.
"Kiss me."
Then Noah's face stiffened for a moment and then slightly distorted. At first glance, he seemed to be holding back, or perhaps he seemed angry.
Olivia's heart pounded at the small change.
Olivia was scared and anxious, so she clung to him.
"Kiss me."
At that moment, he seemed to mutter something small. Before I could realize whether it was a curse or something else, he delved between her lips and stirred them up. And he acted like he was trying to swallow even the smallest breath.
Noah's voice flowed into her ear as she gasped for breath.
"You... you mess me up."
What does that mean?
But Olivia couldn't continue thinking.
That night was long and fierce.
Olivia eventually fell asleep as if fainting from the affair that lasted until dawn.
How long had I been sleeping?
Olivia opened her eyes wide. I was surprised and checked the time, but fortunately it was early in the morning. But something felt strange, so I quickly turned my head, but Noah was not by her side.
That can happen. He may have gone to work early because he was busy, or maybe he just went to the bathroom.
But strangely, my heart felt cold.
Olivia carefully reached out and groped the spot where he had been lying.
"...Ah."
There was no warmth left on the bed.
As if no one had been here.
⚜ ⚜ ⚜
"Princess Consort. Are you worried about something?"
"...Um?"
When Olivia suddenly came to her senses, Lucy was in front of her with a worried expression.
"Oh, I'm sorry, Princess. It's nothing."
The blue-eyed girl blinked her tilted eyes and then smiled brightly as if to cheer her up. But soon the smile disappeared from the girl's face as well.
Olivia and Lucy looked at each other with similar expressions.
A moment later, when Olivia finished her lesson with Lucy and came outside, Jonan, who had been waiting, quickly approached her.
This morning, Noah was gone, and instead there was Jonan.
"From today, I will be in charge of the Princess Consort's close protection. It is an honor."
Olivia gently refused the hand that was trying to take her bag and asked.
"Did you wait long?"
"No, Princess Consort."
"Thank you for your hard work."
At her praise, Jonan smiled like a boy, revealing his teeth. Olivia turned around with a smiling face.
But the smile disappeared as soon as she turned around. Like Lucy said, she had been mentally absent all day today. Emotions kept crashing in and out like waves, dragging her into the deep sea.
As I walked along the long road to the Main Palace, a few nobles approached and spoke to her.
"Greetings, Princess Consort. I am......"
But all of those things were just afterimages that formed on the retina and disappeared meaninglessly. Olivia smiled at them all and had light conversations, but none of it was done in her consciousness.
The only person occupying her consciousness was Noah Astrid.
The thoughts went round and round. Then, when she finally came to the thought that 'maybe giving the congratulatory speech itself was the wrong thing to do', she was standing in front of the King's office.
The servant opened the door without even announcing her, as if it was natural now.
Olivia composed her hazy mind and widened her eyes.
As the heavy air beyond the opening door rushed in and enveloped Olivia, Noah's face, which had been dominating her mind until now, disappeared for a moment.
And when I crossed the door, Olivia was surprised.
"Welcome, Olivia!"
Leonard greeted her more happily than ever, but the person waiting for Olivia was not just the King.
"Greetings, Princess Consort."
"Greetings?"
Unlike yesterday, when there were only staff members, today even the officials were stationed around the King.
