Chapter 97
97
97. That Still Strange Guest (11)
“Honestly, I couldn’t understand it. I just thought it was because he was such a sensitive kid. But looking back, I think I had a moment like that too. When I first met Paula.”
Ethan paused, then chuckled. His gaze shifted slightly, as if recalling when he first met me.
“I just thought she was a new maid, but the moment I realized that wasn’t the case, I felt so relieved. Ah, Vincent isn’t alone anymore. There’s someone who will be by his side, even if it’s just a little. Someone who will beat him and stop him with all their might if he ever thinks bad thoughts.”
His smile deepened.
“It’s not because Paula did something, or because she’s special. Rather, Paula probably doesn’t know how much comfort it was just to have her by my side without doing anything.”
“……”
“Vincent must have felt the same way.”
His eyes, now fixed on me again, were full of affection.
“If someone selflessly takes your hand in the darkness of despair, and you can trust that hand, how can you ever forget that memory?”
His quiet words felt like he was holding me in his arms and comforting me. I had the illusion that warmth was spreading throughout my body.
“I… I don’t know.”
I couldn’t understand what Ethan was saying. Why me? What am I? I just happened to go to that mansion, so why are you telling me I was a comfort? Why are you showing affection as if whispering precious memories?
To be an unforgettable person, to be a missed person, to be a comforting person, you have to be worth it. But I wasn’t worth it.
As soon as I started toddling, Father immediately taught me housework. I learned to clean, staggering with a broom longer than I was tall, gripping it with both hands.
One day, I followed Father with a pile of laundry stacked high, only to be abandoned at the Laundry place. I stood there alone, watching the women around me and learning how to do laundry for the first time. I scrubbed with my small hands, but my skills were terrible. Father saw the sopping wet pile of laundry and slapped my cheek with his large hand.
‘I only keep you around if you’re useful, useful!’
‘Waaah!’
‘Shut up!’
Father was merciless even to his young child. I cried, not knowing why I was being hit, and eventually fainted. After that, I realized that crying only irritated Father more, so I stopped crying.
‘You’re useless, so you have to do this to live with us. Understand?’
Father whispered, placing a knife in my small hand. I didn’t want to touch the sharp knife because it was too scary, but Father forced me to hold it. I spent the whole day peeling a mountain of potatoes, cutting my hands several times. The potatoes I peeled were made into a thin soup, which Father ate all of.
‘You useless thing.’
Father often said that. Frowning and clicking his tongue, sometimes resorting to merciless violence. An ugly child who would only fetch a low price if sold was useless to Father.
And when the mother who gave birth to my youngest sibling ran away alone in the middle of the night a few days later, I realized.
I’m a worthless person. A useless existence.
I felt it deeply as I held the hands of my still young siblings. There’s no way I could have been that to you.
“I don’t know if I’m that kind of person.”
Even the parents who gave birth to me rejected me. I couldn’t save my siblings from death. The only sibling I had left hated me, just like my parents did. No one liked me. Being loved by someone was something I couldn’t dare to hope for. I couldn’t understand Ethan, who seemed to be saying that I was a precious person.
I stared blankly at Ethan, licking my dry lips. Ethan didn’t say anything, but quietly met my gaze with calm eyes.
Soon, he patted the back of my hand again. It was a slow, faint touch, but it was very warm. His long, brown eyes held a gentle light.
“Paula, don’t think about it too hard. Like I said before, I’m not trying to make things difficult. I just hope that the two of you can honestly face each other at least once. You said you hid your appearance from Vincent. If Vincent is missing Paula, that would be too pitiful.”
Even though the answer I gave a moment ago must have sounded strange enough, he didn’t mention it. He just smiled kindly.
“I just had a funny thought, maybe it’s fate that we met again like this.”
“……It’s a coincidence.”
“You should say, ‘I think so too,’ at times like this.”
“……”
“Well, actually, I don’t really believe in fate either. But right now, I kind of want to believe it.”
Suddenly, Ethan brought his face closer to mine. He opened his mouth as if he had something to say, but suddenly hesitated. I wondered why he was doing that and waited for him to speak.
“Actually, you know……”
His voice was heavy after a moment. I wondered what he was going to say, and without realizing it, I perked up my ears and tried to get closer.
Knock, knock, there was a knock on the door. Startled, I turned around and saw Vincent leaning against the door, which had opened at some point.
Oh, when did he get here? How much did he hear? Could he have heard everything? Vincent, who calmly examined me and Ethan, who were frozen in confusion, said one word.
“Looks like I interrupted something.”
Only then did I look at Ethan and myself. The sight of us holding hands and our faces almost touching was enough to cause misunderstanding for anyone who saw it.
Flustered, I jumped up, and Ethan raised both hands.
“Don’t misunderstand. We were just having a light conversation.”
“You don’t have to explain.”
“If I don’t, you’ll misunderstand.”
Don’t do that. Despite the firm words, Vincent’s reaction was lukewarm. He neither denied nor affirmed. He clearly misunderstood.
I moved my lips to make an excuse, but my eyes met Vincent’s. Had it become a habit? Without realizing it, I avoided his gaze. Only after turning my head as far as I could so that my face wouldn’t be visible did I realize what I had done.
Ethan, who looked back and forth between me and Vincent, made an ominous groan.
“How long have you been here?”
“Just now.”
“When is ‘just now’?”
Ethan seemed to have the same worries as me, and he kept pressing. Vincent hesitated for a moment, but soon answered obediently.
“When you were talking about fate or whatever.”
So he didn’t hear the previous conversation. I secretly breathed a sigh of relief. But the conversation that Vincent heard was by no means reassuring.
Perhaps because of our past relationship, Ethan didn’t act coldly towards me, and I had become accustomed to treating him comfortably. Because of that, I didn’t know when I might make a mistake. Besides, he occasionally called me by my real name. I should find an opportunity later to ask him to please be careful.
“Did you come to see me?”
“Yeah. I have something to say.”
At those words, Ethan looked surprised for a moment and then looked at me.
“Paula.”
“I’ll be going out now!”
I cut him off urgently. If he said one more word there, I would strangle him. With that in mind, I glared at him fiercely, and Ethan closed his mouth. Instead, he grabbed my arm and pulled me down. I ended up sitting back on the sofa in a daze.
“Sit here.”
“Huh?”
I looked at Vincent in a panic. Seeing him frowning slightly and expressing his discomfort made me feel uneasy. It might be an important conversation, so shouldn’t I leave?
But every time I tried to get up, he grabbed my hand and pulled me back, so I kept lifting my butt and putting it back down. I gestured for him not to do this, but he didn’t even pretend to notice.
If you do this, he’ll really think we’re having a suspicious relationship and misunderstand.
I felt a steady gaze.
“You two seem to be getting along well.”
Vincent plopped down on the sofa opposite us. In the end, unable to avoid the situation, I lowered my head. The gaze pouring down on my head stung.
“We know each other. I told you she used to work at our mansion.”
“For that, your relationship seems deep.”
“Well, we’re people who share secrets. A cooperative relationship, you could say?”
Ethan’s nonchalant words seemed to create misunderstandings that didn’t exist. I was horrified and glared at Ethan, then noticed Vincent’s gaze and lowered my head again. The gaze pouring down on my head stung.
“There’s dessert left, do you want some?”
Ethan slid over a plate with sweet chocolate cake left on it.
“No thanks.”
“It’s really sweet, but it’s worth eating. Here.”
Ethan pushed the plate further towards Vincent and even poured him tea, so Vincent couldn’t refuse any longer and picked up the cup.
The teacup clinked against the saucer. That was the only noise. After that, Vincent and Ethan didn’t say a word. Vincent, who said he had something to say, just chewed on the cake, and Ethan silently sipped his tea.
The sound of leaves brushing against each other as the wind blew in through the open window could be heard, but not a single human voice was heard. They didn’t even look at each other, as if they had made a promise.
I kept looking back and forth between them.
Now I could be sure. The tension I felt last time wasn’t a figment of my imagination. A heavy atmosphere hung in the silent room. An uncomfortable air surrounded the two of them. I couldn’t say they were on friendly terms, but it wasn’t this bad five years ago. Now, I felt like I would be disgusted by the suffocating discomfort.
Being stuck between them made me uncomfortable too.
‘I want to run away.’
My butt fidgeted.
“Would you like more tea?”
To ease the stiff atmosphere, I bravely lifted the teapot, but Vincent only glanced at it and didn’t respond. I stiffened and experienced the limits of my patience. Was I supposed to pour it or not? I wished he would just say what he had to say and leave, but Vincent was silently and very slowly chewing on the cake. He looked like he was going to dig up every ingredient that went into making the cake.
In the end, I quietly filled his empty teacup without a response.
Then I cautiously asked Ethan.
“Would you like more?”
“I’m fine.”
A cold rejection came back. I sullenly withdrew.
Silence again. The hand holding the teapot trembled. Would they notice if I made up an excuse and left? Would they be that interested in me? I didn’t know what this situation was, but if I stayed like this, I felt like I would go crazy first. I was plotting how to escape somehow.
“Didn’t you say you had something to say to me?”
Finally, Ethan spoke first. Only then did Vincent put down his teacup and give him a look.
“Why did you say you’d stay here?”
“What are you talking about all of a sudden? I just said I’d rest here for a few days.”
“Tell me the real reason.”
“Just think of it as taking a vacation here for a while.”
“Besides that.”
Ethan’s eyes widened.
“What do you want me to say?”
“I’m asking what you’re going to do while you’re staying here.”
“What am I going to do?”
“I’m saying that because it seems like you’re going to do something.”
“Are you worried that I have some kind of intention for staying here?”
“Yeah.”
Ethan paused at the firm words. But soon he chuckled playfully.
“Don’t talk nonsense. I just came here to rest.”
“Specifically, here.”
“Robert is here.”
“I hope that’s really the reason.”
There was something prickly about Vincent’s reply. Ethan seemed to sense it too, as he rested his arm on the back of the chair and propped his chin on the back of his hand. His head was tilted to the side, so he seemed dissatisfied, but his expression was expressionless, so I couldn’t figure out what he was thinking. Ethan stared intently at Vincent.
