Chapter 9
# 9
- The Baron family's Crazy Master (9)
I had no choice but to use the central staircase again because of the pile stacked high enough to block my view. Servants were supposed to use the stairs at the back of the mansion, and if someone saw me, I wouldn't be able to avoid punishment, so I quickened my pace.
"Master. I'll read to you again."
"It only took you that long to go to the study?"
"I chose carefully. I made sure you'd enjoy it this time."
Then, I opened one of the books I had brought.
"Once upon a time, there lived a happy baby pig. The happy baby pig was so happy to spend each day."
"What are you doing?"
"Yes? What do you mean?"
He frowned at my feigned ignorance.
"That's a fairy tale."
"Yes, it is a fairy tale."
"You're not going to read that, are you?"
"I thought a fairy tale would be perfect for you right now, Master."
"What?"
"I judged that the best thing to do for a grumpy master is to tell him a heartwarming story about what consideration is, so that he can gain peace of mind."
He looked dumbfounded. I calmly looked down at the fairy tale book.
"If you have a preference, please tell me. From the story of the happy baby pig to the little girl who went on an errand, the friendship between the fairy who gives everything and the boy, the mysterious adventure of the siblings, the love and peace of the bluebird. Any story is prepared. You said you don't reread what you've already read, so I've prepared several books. Please choose according to your taste."
I bet there's at least one book there you haven't read. As I said that, he shut his mouth tightly. Veins popped out on the back of his hand as he clenched the sheets as if he were about to tear them apart.
"If you don't have a preference, I'll continue reading the story of the happy baby pig. You wouldn't not even listen to a short story, would you? I don't think you're that impatient, but if it becomes too difficult to listen, please tell me."
I rattled on so he couldn't interrupt me and quickly started reading the fairy tale. Whether my words worked or not, he was quiet this time. His face looked like he had stopped breathing, and I was a little nervous, but fortunately, I was able to read the fairy tale to the end.
Of course, he threw the next fairy tale away.
\ \ *
After that, I continued to read books to him. Fairy tales, of course. He said he didn't like it, but I just read it to him. I wanted to take this as an excuse to read various books.
It had been a long time since I had read a book. The bookstore where I worked when I was young had to close because the old owner's health deteriorated. He felt sorry for me and gave me a few books as a gift. Most of them were fairy tales.
But those fairy tales ended up in Alicia's hands. Alicia doesn't even read books, but because of her personality of coveting anything I have, when they returned to my hands, they were torn to shreds and unrecognizable. The torn books were eventually used as firewood.
After that, it was difficult to get my hands on books. I had saved money to buy them a few times, but I stopped when Father found out. It is a luxury for the daughter of a poor tenant farmer to buy books. When I realized that it was better to buy a day's worth of food with that money, I stopped reading books.
Perhaps because I hadn't read for so long, I was so happy to be able to hold a book in my hands like this. Except for the current situation.
"Is that the only way you can read?"
"What are you dissatisfied with?"
"Everything. I'm dissatisfied with everything about you."
There he goes again. Is it because I'm reading him fairy tales? He keeps getting annoyed. Actually, I wanted to read him other books, but he didn't listen properly, and it felt more difficult than I thought to read a book to someone. So, even though I knew he didn't like it, I had no choice but to pick up a fairy tale again.
When I sighed, he got annoyed this time, asking why I was sighing. I didn't know I was such a sighing person until I came here. Moreover, the person who caused it was shameless.
"If you're going to read, learn how to breathe first."
"I'm sorry."
"Get out. I don't want to hear any more."
In the end, I was kicked out with a book that I hadn't even turned three pages of. Cleaning, serving... this time it's books. I guess I'm asking for trouble.
Thanks to that, I would collapse and fall asleep as soon as I finished work and returned to my room. The fatigue of the day brought on sleep. But because I had so many worries, I couldn't sleep deeply. Because of that, my already light sleep became even lighter. I could also hear the noise of someone banging on the wall from the room next door.
It was quite loud. And it was coming from the master's room.
I was startled and ran to the room next door.
I threw open the door and entered the dimly lit room. As soon as I looked towards the bed, I saw a round figure huddled close to the wall. Master? As I approached, the figure flinched, but that was it, there was no other reaction.
"Are you not feeling well?"
"......"
"Master."
"......"
"Master?"
"......Who is it."
His hoarse voice was weak.
"It's me. Is something wrong?"
"I had a dream."
"A dream? What kind of dream?"
"A scary dream."
Ah, you had a nightmare. I have those often too, so I know how it feels.
But I wondered what the loud noise I heard a little while ago was, so I looked around, but there was nothing that could have made a loud noise. I wondered if he had thrown something as usual, but there was no sign of that either.
It was hard to see the details because I was bad at seeing in the dark. Vincent was also covering his face with the sheets, so I couldn't check his condition. However, the hand holding the sheet was trembling slightly.
"What kind of dream did you have?"
"I don't know. I don't remember."
His voice was calm, but it was filled with deep fear. I knew from Isabella that he wasn't getting proper sleep. And that the groaning I heard at night was his. But he hadn't shown me any of that.
What kind of nightmares does he have? I could tell without even thinking about it. It must be a terrible, scary dream.
"It's just a dream. Go to sleep."
"I don't think I can sleep because I think I'll have it again."
"Shall I hold your hand?"
"Get lost."
He shuddered as if he had heard another terrible sound this time. I frowned slightly and secretly sighed. He seems fine since he's acting like that.
"Shall I stay by your side until you calm down?"
"......"
There was no real answer. After thinking for a moment, I sat down on the floor right below the bed. The round figure flinched at the noise I made as I sat down, but he didn't shout at me to leave.
I sat down, but I had nothing to say. I bent my knees to my chest and fidgeted with my fingers for no reason. He didn't say anything either. Instead, I could hear his breathing. As I listened to the sound gradually calming down, I roughly guessed his condition.
I kept fidgeting with my hands, and suddenly, the end of a thin ray of light covered my hand. When I looked up, the moonlight that came in through the slightly open gap in the curtains was drawn on the floor. My gaze passed through the light and was fixed on the yellow moon that was faintly visible outside the window.
The only light illuminating the darkness was beautiful enough to steal my gaze. It's pretty. I wonder if I could touch it if I reached out. But no matter how much I reached out, it was impossible to catch the moon. Even knowing that, I reach out towards the light.
It's quiet.
It's peaceful.
Have I ever felt this peace in my life?
"When I was young, my Second daughter also often had nightmares."
So I unknowingly mumbled. Maybe I was uncomfortable with the silence.
The breathing that I had been hearing suddenly stopped at my sudden words. But he didn't stop me.
"Second daughter was a gentle child. Unlike me, she had a pretty face, and she always had a pretty smile and followed me, calling me 'Sister, Sister'."
Second daughter was a gentle child. Unlike me, she had a pretty face, and she always had a pretty smile and followed me, calling me 'Sister, Sister'.
I thought such a Second daughter was so lovely and pitiful at the same time. Being a good child was poison in poverty. Father would send glances wondering how he could use that young and pretty Second daughter.
And perhaps because she knew her situation even at a young age, Second daughter was particularly restless when she slept. She often tossed and turned in her sleep, having nightmares, and woke me up crying. Then, even in my sleep, I would hold Second daughter in my arms and pat her back. And I would hold her hand.
Just like now.
I placed my hand on top of his hand, which was the only thing sticking out of the sheets. I could feel the sensation of him flinching at the sudden contact. The warmth in my hand was cold. I gripped it tightly.
"Whenever that happened, I would hold Second daughter's hand like this. Then Second daughter would feel relieved and fall asleep again."
Second daughter would hold my hand tightly and close her eyes. With round tears falling, Second daughter would rely solely on my body temperature and fall asleep. I would pat Second daughter's hand as if to comfort her, sharing her fear.
"And I would say this. Dreams are just dreams anyway, so you don't have to be afraid, I'm here. This moment with me is reality."
But thinking about it now, that wasn't a good thing to say either. Because reality was more like hell. Still, my kind Second daughter would nod and burrow into my arms.
Until the day before she was sold to the Brothel.
"They say you should leave what happens in your dreams in your dreams. Whether it's something that has already happened or something you're afraid will happen, just dismiss it as a meaningless dream. If you can't dismiss it that way, then you can overcome what has already happened, and you can try to prevent what you're afraid will happen."
Then I shut my mouth tightly. That was even more like a dream.
Reality is not a fairy tale. It wasn't always beautiful, and you couldn't have mysterious adventures. At least my life was like that.
I couldn't make courageous choices like the protagonist in a story. So I couldn't help Second daughter until the moment she was sold to the Brothel. I didn't show her the miracle of grabbing Second daughter's trembling hand and running away together.
Even though I knew that that kind and pretty Second daughter would be sold to the Brothel... I turned away from Second daughter, who was trying to smile.
'Sister, it's okay. I'm okay.'
The kind and pretty Second daughter rather comforted such a hateful sister. I could only long for my departed Second daughter and desperately wish her happiness.
And the following year, Second daughter passed away. They said it was a plague. But the reality was that she was beaten to death. The sight of Second daughter when I saw her again was terrible. Her whole body was swollen, and especially between her legs, it was horrifying just to look at. Her face was unrecognizable.
I held Second daughter's funeral without Father knowing. It wasn't even a funeral. I buried Second daughter next to where the youngest was buried, and then I picked pretty flowers and placed them on top. And it was an old memory that not long after, the fourth was also there.
I survived, even turning away from my sisters' deaths.
I was that kind of bad girl.
"How could you."
I came to my senses at the sudden voice. I could still feel the trembling in the hand I was holding, but this time it was different.
