Chapter 85
# 85
85. To You, Whom I Couldn't Erase Even When I Tried to Forget (9)
I tried to stop him in a fluster, but Vincent, not even listening to me, strode into the kitchen. Audrey would have been furious if she saw him, a superior, entering such a place.
His face was calm as he looked around the shabby kitchen. I anxiously scanned his back, then turned to quickly find the candles and leave. I groped deep inside a large cupboard on one side of the kitchen and found a few spare candles.
Where's the candlestick? I turned around and was startled. Vincent was standing behind me, having approached unnoticed. He was looking down at me as if seeing something fascinating.
"Why are there candles in a place like that?"
"I, I sometimes need them urgently. Just let me find the candlestick, and you can go outside."
"Where's the candlestick?"
"Around here... P, please go outside. Okay?"
I was anxious that someone might come in and see us like this. I begged him to please wait outside, as I would find it and leave, and Vincent reluctantly turned around. I breathed a sigh of relief as I watched him leave the kitchen.
I rummaged under and around the cupboard, but there was no spare candlestick. I had no choice but to take an old, half-used candlestick. I held it in my arms and went out, and Vincent was waiting for me. I was a little puzzled. Why is he still here?
"Why are you still here?"
"You're going back to Robert, right? I'll go too."
"Ah, I understand."
He must be worried about Robert, though he doesn't show it. I nodded and walked ahead. Maybe it was because we had the lamp light back, but I wasn't scared anymore. Or maybe it was because he was with me.
The sound of the wind still howled like a scream in the hallway. I could also hear the sound of branches hitting each other. His and my footsteps mixed as we walked through the sounds. Two orbs of light shone ahead of me.
Being like this felt like that time five years ago. The days when I held Vincent's hand and led the way together.
A sharp sensation rushed over me in an instant. My nose tingled. I rubbed my nose for no reason and took a step. Thanks to being with the master, I was able to easily go up the central staircase.
"Did you deliver the letter to Robert?"
"Yes. He was very happy. Thank you so much."
"What about that?"
"What do you mean?"
"The ink."
I almost stopped walking without realizing it. I barely maintained my faltering steps and swallowed hard. The tension I had momentarily forgotten surged up. I clutched my chest, afraid he would hear my heart beating. How grateful I was for the eerie noises around me.
Is this the right time? I should tell him I couldn't find it, that I'm sorry. I don't know if he'll let it go easily, but there was no other way.
I took a breath, calmed my pounding heart, and steeled myself. I mustn't show that I'm nervous. I closed my eyes once, opened them, and was about to turn around to give that answer when—
"There!"
In an instant, my vision flashed. The end of the hallway, Vincent's surprised face, everything was so bright I could see it clearly. And as soon as I realized that, darkness rushed in.
At the same time, a deafening roar erupted!
Boom!
"Aaaah!"
I covered my ears with both hands and screamed without realizing it. The loud thunder brought back the fear. It felt as if lightning had struck right next to me. As a result, I dropped the lamp I was holding.
I opened my eyes at the sound of glass breaking, and this time something brushed past my face and hit the wall. I instinctively dodged, lost my balance, and landed on my butt. Not missing the moment, thunder struck fiercely once more.
Cuckoo! I covered my ears with both hands again and crouched down. A fierce wind swirled in from somewhere. The last remaining light went out with a whoosh. The hallway turned dark in an instant.
I remained crouched for a while. The thunder that stirred my mind continued to echo, then gradually subsided at some point.
I slowly regained my senses. I opened my eyes again and looked around, but all I saw was pitch-black darkness. Even the moonlight was obscured by dark clouds, and there wasn't even a faint light.
My hair and clothes fluttered wildly in the wind. I heard the sound of glass breaking, so it must not have been just the lamp that broke. Wind was coming in from somewhere. Right next to me, maybe. Something seemed to have flown in, maybe a branch or a stone. It was a wind that felt like it could blow people away.
I grabbed my tangled hair and groped around. It was so dark that I couldn't tell where anything was. The wind and thunder roared and rumbled, making their presence known. Vincent, where is he? I barely regained my senses and groped the floor to find him.
"M, Master? Master!"
I called him urgently, but there was no response.
I groped the floor toward where Vincent was likely to be. But I couldn't grab anything. I called out again, but still no answer. No matter how much I looked around in the dark and groped around, I couldn't figure out where he was.
'No, I don't even know where I am.'
Was I even walking in the hallway? I was suddenly scared. It's not like my body flew somewhere, but strangely, everything felt unfamiliar. Because it's dark, yes, the surroundings are too dark and cold, just like that time.
Like that day.
It feels like someone else is in the dark. It sounds like footsteps. I know for sure that there's only pitch-black darkness and no one else, but it felt like someone was watching me from beyond. A warning that a sharp blade would pop out at any moment and stab me, taking me to death, made the hairs on my body stand on end. A warning that I shouldn't be here.
They're coming to kill me. I have to run away.
But why can't my body move? It's like the wind is holding me back. Saying I can't go. That this is the end for me.
"……Paula."
A hoarse voice calls me. A voice barely exhaled as if it were difficult even to breathe, faint. I turned my head following the sound, and something flowed and wet my hand. It was blood. Red blood, clearly visible even in the dark.
And a man lying there too.
"A, aaaah—"
Don't do this. This can't be happening. A scream that wouldn't come out choked me. I shook my head wildly and moved my butt backward. Not again. This nightmare again. The moment the eerie fear trapped me, the feeling of death looming.
"Don't do this. Don't do this to me."
Don't drag me back there again. I moved my body awkwardly, but the nightmare didn't disappear from in front of me. My vision is blurry, but why does that face only become clearer? Why are you doing that? Why, why…… Lucas.
The fingertips raised in the air were trembling. Brown eyes, mixed with pain, were desperately looking at me. A face distorted as if crying was shouting at me. To run away. To go quickly. No. Actually, wasn't he asking me to help him? Wasn't he telling me not to abandon him? Wasn't I arbitrarily judging his heart?
I, because I wanted to live…… so…….
"That's right, sister."
A cold hand grabs my shoulder. The body heat clinging to my back is so cold that it freezes my whole body. Even the breath touching my ear was spewing out cold air. The young voice that clung to me every night and sobbed was stabbing my neck with venom.
"Sister is a selfish person who only knows herself."
"No. No."
"Not only did she devour her own flesh and blood, but she also devoured the man who was kind to her, and survived alone."
"Stop it. Stop……."
"Sister, let's go too. Let's go with us."
At that moment, pale feet suddenly popped out in front of me. One, two, three. Those of different sizes shook creakingly in the air as if dancing. I let out a silent scream. A soft voice calls me. Sister, sister. First sister. The voices of my younger siblings who died early, the cries of newborn babies, echoed from all directions.
I was gasping for breath. I didn't know what to do with the guilt. I was disgusted by myself for ignoring the deaths of my siblings and surviving.
I wanted to grab the soft hands clinging to me and share warmth. But I couldn't bring myself to do so and crouched down. I covered my ears with both hands and sobbed. The wind that sounded like a scream and the thunder that struck fiercely were not heard at this moment. Only dreamlike voices were oppressing me.
"Paula."
Then, someone called me. Paula. Paula. It was so difficult and weak that it seemed like it would break at any moment. A cry that you wouldn't hear if you didn't listen carefully. I know that cry well.
Lucas. I thought of him, who must be fighting alone in pain. This time, I wanted to be by his side. I didn't want to leave him alone anymore.
I crawled to him. The surroundings flashed. Lucas appeared and disappeared repeatedly. I was afraid that he would be eaten by the darkness as it was. My hands were stinging, but I didn't care. I just crawled in that direction. I cried and called him. Lucas. Lucas.
As soon as I reached the place where he was, I waved my hand. When the thunder stopped, the surroundings turned dark again. I groped through the darkness to find him. Soon after, I felt the smooth texture of cloth. When I lowered my hand, a cold body was trembling. I grabbed it tightly and hugged the large body tightly with my remaining hand.
"I'm here."
I brought him into my arms, pressing my body closer. I could hear the sound of his teeth chattering in my ear. The large body held like a child was trembling. He couldn't even breathe properly from the fear.
I stroked his back and rubbed my cheek against his prickly hair.
"I'll be by your side."
I'll be by your side this time.
I traced his trembling hand with my thumb. I hugged him tighter and patted his back. I tried to share my body heat with him, even if it was weak. I hope he won't be afraid anymore because of me.
Unlike his cold body, his hot breath broke on my shoulder. Soon after, a hot sensation pressed down hard on the thin cloth. I felt a slight tremor, but it wasn't as severe as before. The trembling of his body gradually subsided.
The heat spread to my shoulder and moved to my neck. I flinched at the unfamiliar sensation touching my skin. As if to soothe me, the heat turned back to the cloth. The hair tickling my ears felt good. A large hand tightly gripped my back.
"P……."
The sky was still rumbling, but I wasn't afraid of the darkness anymore. The body heat touching my whole body gradually became hotter, soothing my heart. Making me feel relieved.
The moon revealed itself through the dark clouds. Moonlight came in through the window and drove away the darkness. The pitch-black surroundings gradually became brighter. It felt like that light was shining into my head.
Suddenly, I came to my senses.
'What was I doing just now?'
I blinked and looked at the brightened hallway. When I glanced sideways, I saw sparkling hair. Golden hair, holding the light. I blinked once, twice, three times, and then realized my posture. I was holding someone in my arms.
When I subtly pulled away, the other person clung to me as if not wanting to let go. Flustered, I patted his large back. I, uh, so, just now…….
I rolled my eyes and pulled away again. This time, the other person let me go willingly. I stepped back and looked down at the face of the person who had been hugging me. As the moonlight became brighter, the other person's face was revealed in front of me, even brighter.
Emerald eyes with clear Heterochromia were blinking, holding me in them. His blank face seemed more surprised than me. Vincent, who had been clinging to my chest, looked back and forth between my face and his own condition, and then was horrified.
"Eek!"
"Cough!"
He pushed me away with great force.
