Translator: Nox

Chapter 82

82

82. To You, Whom I Couldn't Erase Even When I Tried (6)

But before long, he handed me a letter. I bowed again and thanked him. The letter in my hand felt strangely heavy. It was the letter I had been waiting for so eagerly, but now it only felt burdensome. When I held it to my chest, I could feel my heart pounding.

"If you have nothing more to say, may I go in first? I want to deliver it to young master Robert quickly."

"One more thing."

"Yes."

"That person you met. By any chance..."

"......"

"Was it a woman...?"

My eyes, which had been wandering around the floor, widened. My lips twitched, and something threatened to surge up, so I swallowed it down. Then, with difficulty, I forced out a voice.

"No. It was a man."

"......I see. If you find out where he got it, tell me immediately."

"Understood."

Only then did Vincent step aside. I went straight into Robert's room. That brief moment of passing him and closing the door felt longer than ever.

Before the door could close completely, a large hand suddenly shot out. A shoe tip that came through the doorway prevented the door from closing. Vincent said urgently.

"Anything, even something trivial, is fine. If you find out, tell me."

"......"

"I'm begging you."

"......Understood."

The hand that had been holding the door fell away. The shoe tip retreated. As soon as the door slammed shut, my legs gave way. I sank down, startled. I wondered if he had noticed my nervousness. I crawled forward. Only after I had moved some distance from the door was I able to clutch my trembling heart.

Damn it. Did my tension disappear already? I told myself to be careful. My sharp senses must have dulled in the peace. I lamented the mistake I had made, thinking only of making Robert happy. I overlooked the fact that even a single piece of evidence could bring about a lot.

I thought of Vincent interrogating me earlier. What did he want to know? Could it be...?

"If it's me you're looking for."

No way.

Yeah, no way.

I chuckled. There's no way that could be. Even when we're facing each other like this, he doesn't recognize me. Don't get the wrong idea. Whatever the circumstances, I'm a maid who ran away from the Baron family. Just an employer and an employee. There's no reason for him to look for me. Maybe he's afraid I'll reveal his secrets? But those are useless secrets now.

Unless someone tells him, he won't know who I am even if he dies and comes back to life. No, even if someone tells him, would he believe it?

The words I spoke myself pricked my heart. There must be another reason.

But, if he really is looking for me, would I be happy? I don't know. The conflicting feelings of wanting it to be true and not wanting it to be true collided and hurt. I pressed my chest hard with my fingertips. What would change even if he was looking for me? Nothing would change.

When I looked up, Robert was still asleep. I brought the letter he had been waiting for so eagerly.

"I'll give it to him later."

As a surprise gift for the awakened child. He'll be very happy. That's enough for now. I squeezed my eyes shut and suppressed the swelling emotions.

\ \ *

Darkness fell on the floor. It crept up and grabbed my ankles. There was no use in running away.

In the darkness where even the moonlight didn't shine, only faint breathing echoed. It wasn't my breathing. I was definitely alone, but I could hear a sound coming from somewhere.

I took a step forward, following the sound. At that moment, a pale hand suddenly popped out of the darkness and grabbed my ankle.

Startled, I shook it off, and it released its grip weakly. The hand that had fallen to my feet was swallowed by the darkness and disappeared.

In the darkness where nothing could be seen, a dull voice echoed again.

'……la.'

My breathing became rough.

'Paula……'

The voice, blurred by breath, mumbled. So it was hard to understand. I concentrated to hear the sound.

It was at that moment.

'Paula.'

With a clear voice, moonlight poured down.

My eyes brightened. Only then did I discover someone sitting in front of me. He was slumped with his shoulders drooping and his head bowed.

Who are you? I asked, but there was no response from the other person. I bent down and sat in front of him.

Hey. I grabbed his shoulder and shook him. Then, as if reacting, the other person grabbed my hand and pushed me away. I sat down with a thud from the considerable force.

I quickly scanned the other person, trying to calm my surprised heart. Soon the other person slowly raised his head.

The moment I confirmed his face, my eyes widened.

You are…….

"Huh."

I opened my eyes wide. I quickly looked around as if searching for something. Darkness. Darkness. More darkness. It was all darkness. Unable to bear it, I got up.

Feeling the texture of the sheets on my hands, I quickly scanned the inside with my eyes gradually getting used to the darkness. Only after realizing where this was did my stifled breath burst out.

As I gasped for breath, something struck the back of my head. A pillow fell right next to me.

"It's noisy."

Alicia turned over, annoyed. I stared blankly at her back, then clutched the sheets. After swallowing hard several times, I curled up.

Again, it's this dream. It's this nightmare again. My whole body was cold, as if it were soaked in water. The nightmare of the past brought back forgotten sensations. I could hear someone whispering in my ear. Run away. Run away quickly. Please go.

'I have to leave.'

Suddenly, that thought came to me. The tension that had been released tightened my whole body again.

I was so scared when I realized I was back here. I was so, so scared that for days I trembled in fear every night with the sheets over my head. That was all I could do. It was difficult to accept the sudden reality.

I was scared of this place. Beyond the warm memories, there was fear. I saw someone who had been kind to me bleeding and dying, and someone had even tried to kill me.

It was the place where I realized that living a glamorous life doesn't mean being happy. The memories of that day still come back vividly. As if telling me not to forget.

I had countless worries about running away. But the surroundings were all forest, and I didn't know how far it stretched, so if I got lost, it would be a big problem. It was too dangerous to take a chance.

No, it wasn't like there was no way at all.

'That place, the space in the forest.'

That secret path that Vincent had taken me to just once a long time ago. He said that if I went there, I could go to the village. If that was true, it was the only way to escape from this mansion without anyone knowing.

'It'll still be there now.'

But it was difficult to go find it. If I was away for a long time, it would be noticeable, and there were many dangers in wandering around the forest alone. Fortunately, it was a Probationary period. Wouldn't it be okay to leave when the Probationary period is over?

At first, it was for my safety. But as I gradually became accustomed to life here, the suffocating fear gradually subsided. Perhaps it was because, unlike what I had imagined, there was no threat to me. It may be complacent, but since there was no threat, the fear also dulled.

While living here, I haven't seen the butler, Isabella, or even the employees I've noticed a few times. No one in this mansion knows me. That strange and subtle relief made me think 'just one more day'.

And I met Vincent. I knew he was doing well. He can even see. That's enough. That's a relief.

But what about the others? I was curious. Then wouldn't I be able to find out if I stayed just one more day? Wouldn't I be able to see them too?

Just one more day, more, until the Probationary period is over. Because then I have to leave even if I want to stay. I'll have an excuse to leave.

But... my mind changed due to yesterday's meeting with Vincent. What would happen if I was found out to be that maid? I can't imagine a good outcome.

It's not that I'm afraid of being punished for running away. I was afraid of the butler who tried to kill me, but I could endure that too. My life is more accustomed to death. What I'm really afraid of is.

Him being disappointed in me.

That's why I didn't want to stay long. That's why I calmed down the swelling expectations.

"Let's get a grip."

It's not much time left now. I slapped my cheeks and pulled myself together.

"Hey, are you going to keep doing that?"

"Doing what."

Alicia suddenly started huffing and puffing from the morning. I rubbed my tingling cheeks and gestured why, and she threw a pillow.

"It's so noisy every night! If you're going to moan, go out and do it! I haven't been able to sleep because of you! It's making my skin worse, it's annoying!"

Alicia looked at her face reflected in the mirror. She grumbled that her nails were broken.

I stared blankly at Alicia like that. Alicia, who never misses her morning grooming, looked honestly amazing. Unlike me, who's just waiting for the day to leave, it seems like Alicia's desire to stay here is getting stronger.

At first, she was full of all sorts of complaints, but at some point, Alicia adapted well to life here. Now she does her assigned tasks obediently and doesn't cause accidents because she can't control her temper.

Besides, she's also good at matching Audrey and Joelly's moods. This is the first time I've seen Alicia match the moods of people other than Father here. It was such an unfamiliar sight that it was a bit scary.

Alicia was a child who knew how to gain favor with others. I once saw Alicia laughing and chatting with the maids. Through their conversation, I realized that Alicia was finding out information about Vincent.

'By the way, has Alicia ever seen the master of this place?'

'I heard he's a great beauty.'

'Of course. I see him often. Besides, I know him well.'

Alicia smiled haughtily. The surrounding maids were puzzled.

'You know him well, how?'

'Well, maybe we had a connection in the past.'

Alicia tilted her head, casually tucking her long hair behind her ear. The maids asked what she meant, curious, but Alicia didn't say anything more. It seemed like she was enjoying the gazes of people full of curiosity.

I, who was listening to that conversation, was speechless with absurdity. Anyone would think she had a special relationship with Vincent. I shook my head at her brazen words and left the spot. Since then, I've often witnessed Alicia with other maids or servants.

"Did you find out anything good?"

I looked at Alicia, who was focused on herself in the mirror, and asked casually. Alicia glanced at me in the mirror and chuckled.

"Who knows? Maybe―"

The way she subtly dragged out the end of her words, it seems like she did have some good results. I was curious, but I didn't bother to ask.

I simply washed and changed my clothes. Before leaving the room, I braced myself to have a good day today, but I felt a stinging gaze from behind. When I turned around, Alicia, who had finished grooming, was staring blankly at me.

"Why are you looking at me like that?"

"It's nothing."

Alicia shrugged. Then she slipped out first. I was wondering why, but I followed her for now.