Chapter 81
81
81. To You, Whom I Couldn't Erase Even When I Tried to Forget (5)
A few days later, a series of replies to Robert's letters arrived. Robert was truly happy to receive them. I was glad too, as it seemed the letters had alleviated his loneliness even if just a little. For a brief moment, I was thankful that I knew how to write.
But the most important reply of all hadn't arrived.
I heard that Vincent, having been directly asked by Nanny that day, had said he would get a reply. And to think he showed me such displeasure. It was good news, but I felt strange when I recalled Vincent grabbing my arm. What was he trying to ask me?
However, as the wait grew longer, I began to doubt whether Vincent had delivered the letter properly. Seeing his face, once filled with anticipation, gradually becoming tinged with disappointment made me anxious. Nanny seemed to feel the same, as her expression hadn't been good these past few days.
"Well written."
I politely returned the used ink bottles to Johnny.
"Did it pique their interest?"
"Very much. Thank you."
"Then help me get together with Alicia."
"Still no progress with Alicia?"
I'd been so busy with my own affairs lately that I hadn't paid attention to anything else. Johnny sighed deeply and slumped his shoulders. This situation, I feel like I've seen it before.
"She's ignoring me again these days. She's sullen even when I talk to her, and she doesn't answer properly. It's like how she treated me before coming here."
"Did you fight, perhaps?"
"There's no way. I told you, we barely even talk."
After some deliberation, he must have settled on Vincent. Whenever Vincent came here, he would go to meet Joelly with Robert. The three of them often had tea time, and each time, Alicia would dress up prettily and stand there shyly. Once, it was so excessive that Audrey had pointed it out.
"Just give up."
"That's not easy."
"Do you like her that much?"
"She's the ideal woman I've been waiting for, you know?"
Is that so? Then good luck. Though it doesn't look like there's any hope. But Alicia doesn't have much hope either.
I patted Johnny on the shoulder, comforting him as he suffered through his endless unrequited love.
"But this is amazing. It really has color."
"Is this your first time seeing it?"
"Yeah. Wealthy people really use all sorts of things."
Johnny shook the ink bottle.
"Is it good to use something like this?"
"It stands out, doesn't it? And it's pretty too."
"Have you used it? Ah, now that I think about it, how did you know something like this existed?"
"I've received it before."
Well, not exactly me. I swallowed the unspoken words along with a bitter feeling. Back then, I regretted burning the letters, but now I think it was fortunate that I didn't leave any traces. Because I didn't leave any, because I couldn't bring anything with me, I was able to forget easily.
"Anyway, thank you. It must be very expensive, but you got it so quickly."
"Someone I know had it."
"Who?"
I was curious who had lent him something so expensive. Did he perhaps have connections with nobles? It's hard to judge by appearances, but he didn't seem to have such connections.
At my question, Johnny shrugged and carefully packed the ink bottle. He didn't seem inclined to answer.
"As repayment, tell me if you need any help."
"You'll help?"
"If it's something I can do. Except for anything related to Alicia."
It would be even better if you told me before the Probationary period ends.
I waved goodbye to Johnny and walked back down the hallway. Robert had stayed up late reading letters again yesterday and woke up late. There seemed to be no need to wake him, so I left him alone. Thanks to that, I had been free all morning.
I was walking leisurely towards Robert's room when someone was standing in front of the door. What a surprise. It was Vincent, whom I hadn't expected. I stopped walking at the appearance of the man, whom I hadn't seen a glimpse of recently due to how busy he was.
Vincent, who had been looking down at the floor with his arms crossed, raised his head as if he had sensed my presence. I immediately clasped my hands together and bowed my head.
"G, good morning, Master."
"……."
I was flustered, but I greeted him for now. I bent my waist deeply. It was an effort to avoid showing my face. The gaze on the crown of my head felt stinging.
After a long silence, he strode towards me and abruptly held something out.
"Huh?"
It was a letter. I knew immediately what letter it was.
"Thank you!"
I eagerly grabbed the long-awaited letter with both hands. Along with his hand.
Seeing Vincent frown, I quickly took my hands away.
"I was trying to grab the letter."
"I know."
Vincent pushed the letter out further. I carefully reached out my hand while still bent over. Then, something suddenly occurred to me, and I rummaged through my pocket. Vincent looked at me questioningly. Actually, I hadn't expected him to bring it directly like this, so I hadn't prepared it, but would this be okay?
I took a chocolate cookie out of my pocket. I had been carrying it around to give to Robert one by one when I needed to appease him. I held it out to Vincent.
"What's this?"
"It's a cookie. A sweet chocolate cookie."
"Why are you giving it to me?"
"I know I asked you for a sudden favor, and I wanted to express my gratitude, but this is all I have right now. It's not much, but I hope you enjoy it."
It's very sweet and delicious. I added the unspoken words. I especially emphasized the sweetness. He frowned menacingly as he realized my intention, then soon let out a hollow laugh. Ah, as expected, a cookie is not enough. I should have prepared a cake. His gaze towards me is fierce, as if he doesn't like it.
"I don't need it, so put it away."
"But……."
"Aren't you going to put it away?"
He looked like he would take it away himself if I didn't put it away, so I quickly put it back in my pocket. Why is he acting like this? I know he likes sweet things very much.
My attempt to improve his mood with something sweet had failed. Vincent gave me a dissatisfied look.
I bowed again and held out my hand. But the moment my hand was about to touch the edge of the letter, the letter moved back. My gaze followed him up.
"Before that, there's something I want to ask."
"Please, go ahead."
"This."
He took out a crumpled piece of paper from his pocket and shook it. My eyes landed on it.
"Who came up with this?"
It was the letter that Robert had written and I had handed over.
"The young master misses his mother very much, so……."
"Not the letter. What's written here."
"……?"
Unable to understand easily, Vincent unfolded the letter. Colorful letters were visible.
"The ink color is different."
"Ah― yes. I used various colors of ink."
"Did you come up with it?"
"Yes. He doesn't like writing letters, so I thought he might enjoy it if I used this."
"Have you ever seen ink like this before?"
"Pardon?"
"I'm asking if you've ever seen ink with color like this."
"……May I ask why you're asking that? Is there a problem?"
"Answer first."
Hesitating at his sharp tone, I continued.
"Yes. I have seen writing written with ink like that before."
"Where?"
"A while ago, briefly……."
Was it just my imagination?
"Where did you see it a while ago?"
It felt like I was being interrogated.
"Have you ever worked here before?"
"……!"
Why, why is he suddenly asking that? I was flustered by the unexpected question. The emotion I couldn't hide was revealed in my expression, and I quickly lowered my head. Vincent, whom I had glanced at, was frowning.
What on earth did he see to say such a thing? Was that what he was trying to ask when he grabbed my arm last time? Why, what exactly did he see…….
In an instant, tension ran down my spine. The writing in the letter. The colored ink. I finally realized what he saw in the letter and what he recalled. Just as I had recalled something, he must have recalled something as well.
I made a mistake. I had only thought it was an expensive item. I didn't realize it even after seeing other people's reactions. I was also amazed when I first saw it, but now that I think about it, I had never seen such ink before coming to this mansion.
Vincent's reaction now is as if he's asking where I got this. That's how rare it was. Or perhaps it wasn't an item for sale.
"This ink isn't sold on the market."
At those words, I squeezed my eyes shut. I know something that isn't sold. I confessed with my own mouth that I had seen it before.
"No, maybe it's sold somewhere across the sea, but at least I've never seen it sold here. So very few people know about it. Especially if you're from the lower class, you wouldn't even know something like this exists. It's not for sale, but I know someone who uses this ink. I've received letters. But you said you've seen it before. Then you either worked here, or……."
Or you know Lucas.
That's what he's saying.
Who are you?
My lips moved, but no sound came out. I was confused about what to say, where to start. I saw the man waiting for my answer. His face was as stiff as when he grabbed my arm.
However, the emerald eyes looking at me had a sharp glint. As if he was trying to uncover what the other person was hiding.
Could it be, did he recognize me?
I pressed my lips tightly together and swallowed hard. Should I tell him? Should I just say it? What reaction would he show if I said that I was the maid who served you when you were blind? I was curious. The impulse I had been suppressing burst out in an instant.
Just as I was about to utter those words, light flashed behind him. I blocked the beam of light that spread out with one hand. When I squinted, sunlight was reflected on the glass surface crossing the doorknob, sparkling. When the sparkle disappeared, a woman was reflected. A small, thin, unattractive, ugly woman.
"……As Master knows, I can write a little, so I used to do copying work. I heard from someone I worked with there. That there's ink with various colors. I was so amazed that they kept a piece of paper with writing on it, and I saw it just once."
Strange. Lies were pouring out of my mouth. Even I was amazed at how natural it was, and a hollow laugh burst out inside. Since when did I become so good at lying? After layering lies upon lies, I no longer felt uncomfortable decorating myself with lies.
"Who was that?"
"Well, we didn't ask about each other's circumstances or anything like that."
"Where were you copying?"
"It's a small house near Nouvelle Square…… but it's gone now."
I hurriedly added, fearing that he might go to that house.
"Then where did you get this ink?"
"I asked someone I know to get it. I heard it was borrowed from an acquaintance."
"Who did you borrow it from?"
"I only heard that it was an acquaintance of an acquaintance."
"Then who did you ask?"
"That's……."
The questions kept coming one after another. Even if I twisted and turned my words, he was persistent, as if he was trying to uncover what I was hiding. I clenched my hands tightly, afraid of being caught being nervous.
"Master, could you tell me if there's a problem?"
"I need to know, so answer."
"Is it important?"
If he said no, I was planning to plead that I really didn't know.
But he answered firmly.
"Yes. It's important."
"……."
"Who did you ask?"
"To another servant…… I'll look into it once."
I added the words again, fearing that he would ask who that servant was. He looked like he was about to go meet the person who got the ink for me right away. I couldn't drag Johnny into this.
He stopped talking. His scrutinizing gaze was uncomfortable. It felt like I was standing on a thorny path.
"Can I see that ink directly?"
"I already returned it, so I don't have it. I'm sorry."
It's a good thing I returned it just now.
"The person who said there was ink like this, didn't they say where they saw it or anything like that?"
"They only said it was a place they used to work."
"Did you hear where it was?"
"Not that far…… I'm sorry."
I bowed deeply. It was an attempt to hide my face, fearing that I would be caught trembling. He fell silent again. During that time, I felt like my heart was falling to the floor several times. I was afraid that he would shout at me not to lie at any moment.
