Translator: Nox

Chapter 78

78

78. To You, Whom I Couldn't Erase Even When I Tried (2)

“A letter?”

“Yes. I was wondering if we could write one and send it to Madam.”

As soon as Nanny returned, I told her the idea that had occurred to me during the day. Saying it out loud, it didn't sound bad. Nanny pondered for a moment, then nodded.

“Come to think of it, it’s been quite a while since we wrote a letter.”

“Then, how about we write one and send it this time? She might send a reply.”

“That’s a good idea. Madam happens to be staying at the mansion, so I’ll deliver it.”

Permission granted.

“But I don’t know if she’ll reply.”

I gestured with my eyes, asking what she meant, and Nanny smiled bitterly.

“I used to send letters often, but from a certain point on, Madam’s replies became delayed, and after that, I stopped sending them.”

The atmosphere turned gloomy at those words. Still, wouldn’t he be happy if she replied? It was safer than climbing that high Iron horse statue and looking out the window.

I immediately prepared and approached Robert. I subtly presented him with a crisp, clean piece of paper.

“To Mother?”

“Yes. I’m going to write a letter and send it.”

But, contrary to expectations, Robert wasn’t pleased. He fiddled with the pen with a sulky face. I thought he would be happy. Instead, he seemed uninterested.

“If we write a letter, Madam said she’ll send a reply.”

“Liar.”

But Robert didn’t believe me. I realized that the faded expectation in Robert’s heart had settled into disappointment.

This won’t be easy. A letter reply won’t be enough. I was worried that he might climb onto the Iron horse statue again. It was such a dangerous act that I was amazed an accident hadn’t happened until now. This time it was minor, but next time it could be a big problem.

First, I needed something to pique Robert’s interest.

As I pondered, something suddenly came to mind.

“Hey, can you get me some colored ink?”

“Colored ink?”

Johnny blinked. I nodded and continued resolutely.

“Any color is fine. It would be even better if you could get me various colors.”

“You mean other colors besides the black ink I know?”

“Yeah. Is it possible?”

“Hmm. I’ll check it out when I go out next time.”

The servants here couldn’t easily get permission to go out without a valid reason. Some people left because they didn’t like that.

“I sometimes go out on errands.”

“What kind of errands?”

“That’s a secret.”

Johnny put his index finger to his lips. Oh, really? I wasn’t very interested, so I nodded vaguely.

“But what are you going to use it for?”

“I’m thinking of piquing a child’s interest.”

“A child? You mean the young master?”

“Yeah.”

“How are you going to use it?”

“It’s a secret.”

You’re not the only one with secrets? I have secrets too.

“Mean.”

He grumbled, but a few days later, Johnny handed me bottles of colored ink. I looked down at the ink bottles filling his hands and marveled.

“Wow, that was fast.”

“I borrowed them. Use them carefully and return them.”

“Okay.”

I picked up one of the ink bottles and saw red liquid swirling inside. I carefully received them and took them to Robert.

Robert, who was sitting on the floor playing, showed no interest in the ink bottles. So, I took out a piece of paper I had prepared and placed it on the floor, then opened the lid of an ink bottle. I dipped the pen in the ink and drew a line on the paper, and the red ink spread. Robert, who had shown little interest, widened his eyes.

“Wow!”

“How is it? Pretty, right?”

“Yeah. Pretty!”

His little hands fluttered. I handed him the pen, and he drew a line on the paper. Robert’s eyes sparkled as he looked at the red ink flowing from the pen.

“If you write a letter with such pretty colors, Madam will like it too.”

“Yeah, yeah. She’ll like it!”

Finally, Robert seemed to be interested. I smiled brightly and wondered what color to write the letter in.

“What color do you like?”

“I like them all! I want to do that one and that one and that one!”

“Then, shall we write letters to other people the young master likes?”

“Yeah. I want to write to everyone!”

It’s effective. I immediately handed him a new piece of paper. Robert dipped the pen in the ink and scribbled on the paper. He was so fascinated by the colorful ink that he didn’t think about writing a letter and just scribbled.

“Who shall we write to?”

“Mother, Vincent, Nanny, Carrot, and more, more.”

The names of people Robert wanted to write to came out of his mouth without hesitation. He’s so greedy. I couldn’t help but laugh. I had prepared several pieces of paper, so there was no problem.

“Then, let’s write to Madam first.”

“Yeah!”

“What color would be good? Would you like to choose?”

I slid the bottles of colored ink on the floor towards Robert. Robert pondered deeply and then picked one. It was purple.

I dipped the pen in the ink and handed it to Robert. Robert moved the pen.

[I miss you.]

It was an expected content. The misspelled letters were cute yet bitter. On the other hand, I was pleased to see Robert writing a letter with his head buried and even humming.

I gathered the messy papers with lines drawn here and there and placed them on one side. I made sure to close the lids tightly on the unused ink to prevent it from drying out. I was going to tidy up the surroundings while Robert was writing the letter.

Then, an ink bottle rolling on one side caught my eye. Curious about what color it was, I picked it up and held it up to the sunlight. I widened my eyes as I checked the color swirling inside the transparent bottle.

‘Gold.’

A color so beautiful it was blinding. A color that was too sad for me.

‘Lucas.’

The man who had smiled kindly without any prejudice came to mind. I squeezed my eyes shut. I gripped the ink bottle tightly and pressed it against my forehead. I felt a cold sensation. The emotions I had suppressed burst out from time to time, suffocating me. Just like when I saw Vincent, who could see the future.

Maybe I’m just overthinking it. Just like Vincent is living well, maybe Lucas is living well somewhere too.

The last news I heard about him was that his life was in danger. Ethan’s worried face when he told me that wasn’t a lie.

But it’s already been five years since then. It might not have led to a bad outcome. He might have buried the maid who once comforted him in a corner of his memory and met a new destiny and be living happily.

‘I hope so.’

I hope he’s happy.

I hope Lucas is as happy as he made me.

Vincent, Lucas, Ethan, Violet. The memories that followed each other brought longing. Could I forget if I decided to forget? If that were possible, I wouldn’t be longing.

An invisible longing stirred in my heart.

“I’m done!”

“Ah, yes. You did well.”

Robert’s voice, which suddenly rang out, broke my reverie. I put the ink bottle I was holding down on the floor. Then, after glancing at it once, I approached Robert.

Robert smiled brightly and handed me the paper he had written the letter on. Robert’s heart was evident in the crooked but carefully written letters.

“Shall we write Nanny’s right away?”

“Yeah!”

As soon as I took out a new piece of paper, he immediately grabbed the pen. This time, he even chose the ink on his own. Watching Robert write a letter while swinging his legs, I felt a strange emotion.

In that way, he wrote letters to Nanny, Vincent, and others. After that, Robert’s hands were stained with ink. I frowned and rubbed Robert’s hands with the end of my apron. Robert smiled brightly, as if he didn’t dislike his hands being stained with colorful colors.

The completed letters were neatly folded, put in envelopes, and sealed. The recipient’s name was also written crookedly on the envelope. When I lined them up, they were colorful in various colors. They would be noticeable in many ways.

But the letters alone were a bit lacking.

After pondering for a moment, I held Robert in my arms and left the room.

I was told not to go outside, but the front of the door would be okay. I went downstairs and stopped exactly one step away from the door. I put Robert down there and instructed him.

“You have to stay here quietly, okay?”

“Okay.”

Robert nodded obediently. Only then did I go out the door and examine the flowers blooming at the entrance of the forest right in front of me. There weren’t many usable ones because they were blooming near the entrance. But even if there wasn’t much, it wasn’t difficult to make it look plausible. I picked them all and trimmed the roots. Then, I picked some baby’s breath next to it and added it, and the shape that had become abundant was passable.

I held the bouquet and headed to Robert. The child’s eyes widened.

“Let’s send the flowers together.”

I picked one flower from the yellow bouquet I had just made and handed it to Robert. His little hands gripped it tightly and shook it back and forth. Then, he coveted the bouquet in my hand, so I handed it over. Robert, who was excited, shook it from side to side, and the flowers scattered in all directions.

Robert, who saw the ruined bouquet, asked for another one, so I made two and handed him one of them. Then, he asked for the one he was holding in his other hand. It seemed he realized that the one he was given was roughly made. In the end, I gave Robert the beautifully made bouquet. A moment later, the bouquet disintegrated in Robert’s hands.

“Puhaha! It’s snow! Snow!”

His expression was also unique. Still, he liked it so much that I didn’t feel like stopping him.

“Young master. Look at this.”

While looking at the falling petals, I found a flower with white seeds clustered together in the doorway. When I plucked it and blew on it, the white seeds spread out in a circle and fluttered in the wind.

“Wow.”

Robert smiled brightly and waved his hands to catch the flower seeds. He looked like a cute little child at times like that.

I put my hand on my knee, rested my chin on it, and stared blankly at Robert. His blonde hair, which had become transparent from the light, was ruffled by the wind, and his violet eyes, which were round and dizzy, were filled with joy. His joy overflowed as much as his busy attitude of moving his body back and forth to fly the flower seeds. He really likes it. I should have let him get some fresh air like this more often.

But as I looked at Robert smiling brightly, somehow… it felt familiar…

“Ah, you can’t come out.”

I quickly stopped Robert, who was trying to come out the door following the flower seeds. It was one step, but it meant leaving the mansion.