Chapter 62
62
62. The Maid Left Alone (6)
The floor shook roughly. The road was rough, as if we were entering the mountains. The bodies of the women inside the rattling carriage swayed helplessly. I was too busy trying to keep my own tilting body balanced.
Every one of the women in the carriage was beautiful. It was dazzling to see so many beauties gathered together, with long hair reaching their chests and slender figures. There were some women with ordinary looks among them, but there were none as ugly as me.
I fiddled with my bangs for no reason and turned to look at Alicia, who was sitting next to me. At first, she had been looking around the carriage with an excited face, but at some point, she started giving occasional dissatisfied glances, and now she was closing her eyes and dozing off. I admired her courage to be able to doze off in this situation. Surely she hadn't already decided to die, had she? I wanted to ask, but I decided to refrain because I knew the response wouldn't be good.
'Give me time to think.'
In the end, I couldn't break Alicia's stubbornness that day. Alicia was adamant, and as I talked to Alicia, I was reminded of my own misery.
I didn't agree with everything Alicia said. I think my life is miserable, but that doesn't mean I desperately need to escape this situation. Maybe I did in the past, but now I'm rather satisfied with this comfort.
But that doesn't mean I don't need a change.
Five years have passed since I left that place. It wasn't a short time. A time when they could forget about a runaway maid, or a time when they might think she was already dead.
At least while living in the slums, there was no sign that anyone was chasing or watching me. It might just be my hunch, but I had a vague conviction that I wouldn't be in danger anymore. If so, wouldn't it be even more unnecessary to live like this?
The choice is easy. Maybe it's already been decided. To let Alicia go and live my own life. Even if I explain the details of my relationship with Alicia, I can't see a hopeful future. We will continue to blame each other and hurt each other, and that relationship will never change. In that case, it might be better to live our own lives.
But…….
After that, it was a series of worries.
The number of nights I couldn't sleep increased. Is it because it's a new place, but I'm going to work as a servant for the Baron family? The memories of the past pressed down on me again. My heart was pounding with tension, and my head was filled with worries and anxieties. I struggled dozens of times a day whether to go or not.
Then I had a nightmare. As always, my sisters came to see me. My sisters hugged me. Their bodies were too dry, and I couldn't feel anything. No warmth, no smell, no touch, nothing.
Second daughter whispered softly in my ear.
'Sister, you can't run away alone.'
At that moment, I screamed and woke up. I gasped for breath and got up. I couldn't stand it. My chest was so tight that I didn't know what I couldn't stand.
I leaned against the wall and sluggishly came outside, and suddenly my fingertips touched something hard. I turned my head, and a woman reflected in the mirror caught my eye.
It was the only mirror in the house, brought in by Alicia's stubbornness. There, a woman covering her face with thick bangs was trembling her only exposed lips.
When I tried to lift the corners of my mouth, the woman in the mirror also pulled up the corners of her mouth and smiled. It was an awkward smile. It looked unfamiliar, like someone who had never smiled properly. Her chapped lips exhaled tense breaths. The corners of her mouth, which had gone up, soon lost strength and went down. The smiling face soon turned into a crying face.
Hesitantly, I flipped up my bangs. An unsightly face was revealed before my eyes. Thanks to this face, I survived, but because of this face, I lived a life of discrimination and criticism. I didn't want it, but I had to live that life just because I was born like this. So I hated and disliked my face.
I remembered the newspaper article I saw last time. That man was doing well. Everyone is doing well. So shouldn't I live well now too?
The Devil spawn that had bound my life was dead, and the hateful Third daughter was said to be leaving. Now I had the right to choose my own life. No, it was in my hands from the beginning. But my life was still bound to the past.
I am still left in that hell.
Tears that had welled up flowed down my cheeks. I covered my face with both hands. I can't even let out a sob. Because I know I don't deserve it.
'My poor sister.'
I whispered so while holding the youngest, who was still a newborn baby with a broken neck, in my arms. I stroked Second daughter's tear-stained face on the last night and repeated those words. I held Fourth daughter, who had starved and closed her eyes alone, in my arms and only lamented her pitiful life instead.
That was all.
That's all I could do.
Now it was Third daughter. But I couldn't turn away from Third daughter either. Because she's the only one left, my sister.
'I'll go too.'
'Really?'
I nodded vigorously at Alicia, who asked back as if she couldn't believe it.
'But if you feel any danger, run away immediately.'
'Ah, I understand. I will.'
'I'll run away even if it's just a little strange. Because I don't want to die.'
'I get it.'
After urging Alicia several times like that, I decided to go with her. When she said she was going to the Baron family, I wondered if it was the place I used to work, but thankfully it wasn't.
'Stella Baron family, was it?'
It was a family I had never heard of. Was there such a Baron family? Well, what would I know even if I heard of it? What was important was that it wasn't a place I knew.
I prepared to leave and packed my bags simply. Actually, there wasn't much to pack. Each of us had only one bag. Alicia had some clothes that she hadn't sold and kept, so she filled her bag to some extent, but mine was still light.
And on the day of departure, I stood in front of the mirror for the last time. With a firm resolution, I raised the scissors I was holding in my hand. The sound of the scissors cutting was eerily heard.
When I went outside, Alicia, who was rubbing her sleepy eyes, was shocked to see my condition. Her widened eyes blinked as if she couldn't believe it. It's the reaction I expected, but it's not that I'm not embarrassed. As I urged her to hurry up and took a step, Alicia grabbed me and stopped me.
'You, you, you don't mean to go around like that, do you?'
She even stutters rarely.
'Yeah. I'm going to go around like this.'
'Are you crazy!'
Alicia shouted angrily. I smiled awkwardly at her disgusted reaction. Is it that strange? I touched my bare face. The bangs that brushed my fingertips were shortened to reach my eyebrows.
I cut off the long bangs that I had stubbornly maintained to cover my face.
'I already cut them. I can't grow them back.'
'Aren't you ashamed?'
'I'm going to pretend I don't know anymore.'
'It's embarrassing!'
I ignored Alicia, who repeatedly shouted that it was embarrassing. I made a big decision too. It's not like I can reattach them just because it's embarrassing.
I'm going to a new Baron family, but that doesn't mean I don't have any worries. I'm worried that someone there might know me. Of course, I might be worrying too much, but jobs go around, right? And there's no guarantee that what if won't come to me.
In the past, I covered my face with long bangs, and I did the same when I was hired at the Bellunita family's mansion. Of course, I can't say I covered it perfectly, but at least no one saw my face properly. If I go around like this, at least they won't recognize that I'm the runaway maid. It'll be noticeable, but a person's appearance can look different even if you change a few distinctive things.
In short, it was also a precaution.
'Don't even say I'm your sister to other people.'
'Good. Don't call me by my real name in the future either.'
'What? Why not my name too?'
'Just because.'
That was also a precaution.
I created a pseudonym from the day I left that mansion. I thought it would be dangerous to reveal my name if someone was chasing me. Fortunately, no one was curious about the name of a lower-class person like me. Anyway, they're hiring someone whose identity isn't clear, so as long as they do their job well. So I didn't have to worry about the name, but I urged her just in case, because the place I'm going to work in the future will be different.
'I have another name, keep calling me that. Got it?'
'Why do I have to do that?'
'Because I like that name.'
'Did you eat something wrong?'
Alicia made a strange face. I didn't care about her looking at me like I was crazy. After confirming several times that she understood what I said so far, I headed to the meeting place.
There were about a dozen people gathered there. There were not only women but also men. Most of them were pretty and handsome, but there were also some with ordinary looks. They said you could bring a companion, so it seems like they make offers based on looks, but looks aren't an absolute condition.
But I didn't let my guard down.
The people gathered were talking in pairs or just looking around aimlessly. As I joined the group, two carriages soon approached.
The black men in question got out of the carriages and greeted us. They looked over the people gathered and divided them into women and men, and had them get into their respective carriages.
The carriages didn't even have windows. People couldn't look out the window, so they spent their time dozing off or reading books.
It was a long, boring time. It seemed like the brightly shining sun had fallen below. Until then, the carriage had been moving without stopping once.
My heart was shaking like the rattling carriage. It didn't seem like we were going on a normal road. Where are we going? Is it okay to follow them quietly like this? Are we being sold somewhere? As I thought that, I looked around at the people around me, but they all looked calm and carefree, which made me even more confused.
But the more the carriage shook violently, the more my anxiety grew. Should I open the door and run away like this? That thought kept popping up.
Then, suddenly, the carriage stopped.
It seemed like we had arrived at our destination.
As the carriage stopped, the people who had been dozing off woke up one by one. I shook Alicia's shoulder and woke her up.
Just in time, the carriage door opened and a man gestured for us to get off. Alicia stretched as if she had been waiting for it and got off, and I followed her.
The first thing I saw was the trees that densely surrounded the area. It seemed like we had been traveling for a long time and had gone deep into the forest. I never thought there would be a mansion in the middle of this forest.
In the middle of the forest, there was a large and splendid mansion. The moment I saw the mansion of immense size, my eyes were immediately taken away.
"Wow, it's amazing."
Alicia rarely exclaimed and tilted her head back. The people around her couldn't take their eyes off the mansion's grandeur and beauty. Exclamations naturally came out.
"Okay, ladies, gather on the right, and gentlemen, gather on the left."
Two men stood on either side and waved their hands. In response to the call, the women and men split into two groups again. There, an older woman and man were standing respectively. From my past experience, I realized that those two people were the people in charge of managing all the male and female servants.
Alicia and I stood at the back of the group. My heart was pounding. The hand holding the bag handle was getting wet. I swallowed hard several times, but the tension didn't go away. I was anxious and nervous, but on the other hand, I was excited, so it was difficult to control my emotions. Even in this situation, I was looking forward to a new life.
It's a good thing it's dark around here. If Alicia saw my excited face, she might bother me by saying I did well to come.
