Chapter 56
# 56
56. The Baron family's Secret Maid (9)
“You might say I’m cold, but it’s the truth. It might not have been his intention from the start, but the reason Vincent confided in you, Maid, was partly because he thought he could just kill you if you blabbed. The others probably felt the same. Innocent Violet probably didn’t think much of it, but at least I did.”
“……”
“Disappointed?”
“No.”
It was sudden, but not that surprising. In a way, I might have already known. I was sold for Gold coin from the start. Having lived a life where I faced death every moment, I didn’t expect to be safe just because I was living in a luxurious mansion.
Secrets must remain buried.
Pretend you didn’t see, pretend you didn’t hear, don’t utter a word about anything.
Unnecessary curiosity only invites disaster.
I repeated that to myself countless times. Keeping my mouth shut gives me a chance to live another day. I’ve seen many people disappear for saying the wrong thing. So I kept my mouth shut, and sometimes I had to gamble with my life by showing my sincerity. All the words and actions I directed at them were done at the risk of my life.
And that was still the case now.
“Are you going to kill me?”
“What do you think I’ll do?”
“I think you will kill me.”
I gave a calm, honest answer. Ethan simply laughed at those words.
Silence filled the car. We were looking at each other, but neither of us spoke easily. Was it because of the situation, or because of the blatant truth he had revealed? We watched each other and held back our words.
Then Ethan looked away first. He tilted his head and groaned as if in thought.
“I was debating whether to tell you or not, but since it’s the last time, I think it’s better to let you know. It would be a shame if it wasn’t passed on. He’s a bit naive and doesn’t have the knack for it. Actually, I was frustrated.”
“Pardon?”
His sudden words relieved the tense atmosphere. I looked at Ethan with a puzzled expression, and he smiled pleasantly and shook his head.
“Lucas has been unwell since he was young. He had frequent seizures and couldn’t even dream of going outside. He mostly had to stay in his room, and we felt sorry for Lucas, so we often wrote him letters. Lucas relieved his boredom by writing back to those letters.”
“……”
“Then, one day, he started putting color in the ink and sending us replies with it. Violet got purple, I got red, and Vincent got gold.”
I couldn’t hide my trembling heart as I listened to him. The curiosity that had lingered in my heart for so long seemed to finally reveal the truth. As that truth flowed from Ethan's mouth, my gaze gradually wavered. Ethan's smile changed mischievously as he watched my reaction.
“The day I met Vincent and returned to the mansion, Lucas asked about you, Maid. That reminded me of when you asked me what kind of ink I used, Maid? So I asked him just in case, and Lucas said he was sending letters there. So I asked him why he didn’t tell me, and he said someone else was sending replies on his behalf.”
“……”
“I knew right away who it was.”
Letters often come to the Bellunita mansion. Among them, the letter with the gold letters that caught my eye, the protagonist of the letter that I wrote a reply to under Isabella's orders...
“I often told Lucas about you, Maid. Even though it wasn’t a big deal, Lucas enjoyed listening. Now… I think I know how he felt. Even Vincent hid in the mansion, and he must have been anxious being left alone. That reply must have been a great comfort to Lucas.”
The gold letters were fascinating. But the letter didn’t mean much. I just wrote a formal reply according to the content he sent. I’m doing well, the weather is nice, thank you, he enjoyed reading those short words.
You knew me from the beginning.
“Lucas liked you, Maid.”
“I know.”
“……”
“I know very well.”
I buried my face in my hands. My tightly closed lips trembled.
Now I understood everything. His attitude of showing kindness and being friendly from the moment we first met. The intention of following me around and trying to talk to me, and the reason he clung to me while trembling with anxiety, I really understand the sincerity of his words to leave everything behind and run away now.
‘Why don’t we run away instead?’
I now knew the courage contained in those words.
Tears streamed down endlessly. I couldn’t control the sadness. I couldn’t recall even a single memory. I was too scared to remember that day, so I just trembled. That’s why I blurted out to Ethan the words I couldn’t bring myself to ask Vincent.
“Lu, Lucas, Lucas-nim… How is Lucas-nim…”
“He told me to prepare myself.”
Finally, tears burst out.
What if I had run away with Lucas back then? If we had held hands trembling with anxiety and ran away together, would the situation be different now? Could I have not run away alone, leaving him bleeding? But in the end, I couldn’t answer any of the words he said.
There were no more words after that. The silence was painful. I clutched my heart and poured out my sadness on behalf of Ethan, who couldn’t even shed tears.
After a while, the car stopped. Ethan opened the car door and patted my shoulder. I wiped away my tears, grabbed my bag, and got out of the car.
But.
“Where is this?”
It wasn’t the mansion. It was still in the forest, but I could see the village below. It wasn’t the village below the Bellunita mansion that I had gone to with Lucas last time. It was an unfamiliar place.
I looked back at Ethan.
“Weren’t you going to kill me?”
I said fiercely with a face reddened from crying. Ethan chuckled at my appearance. His round, curved eyes revealed kindness.
“Of course not. I was really on my way to meet Vincent.”
“You’re right, I’m trying to escape.”
“……”
“If the culprit finds out that I was at the scene, it will become dangerous, so the master said he would send me to the Novelle's villa. The day before yesterday, I was attacked by a stranger and almost died. So I was on my way to that villa in a hurry today, but I heard that the butler sent someone to take care of me. He must have been worried that the master would move because of a mere maid. So I was running away. Because I want to live.”
I calmly explained the current situation. I didn’t understand why Ethan, who had been threatening me until just now, was suddenly showing such kindness. Could there be another intention? I watched him warily, but Ethan, who was listening to my words, didn’t erase his smile or hide his kindness.
“Maid. You’re just a character who appeared on one page of this old story. I don’t think you have any reason to get involved in this. There’s no need to sacrifice yourself. Forget about everything here and go your own way.”
“……”
“Don’t worry about here. It was something I had a feeling about a long time ago. Vincent and I have prepared a lot, so we just need to finish it.”
Ethan said as if to comfort me. Unlike the confused face I saw a few days ago, he seemed somehow relieved now. It was like him to take it lightly even though it wouldn’t be that simple.
“Are you sure you’ll be okay? I know a lot.”
“Hmm. Were you thinking of telling someone?”
I shook my head right away. Ethan smiled as if he knew I would and approached me. And he held out his hand.
“Maid, you are the one who saved my friend. You comforted my brother, who had only shrunk back, and helped us to be together again. I will never forget that grace. Forever.”
When I hesitated, he pulled my hand and held it.
“I’ve never been able to call you properly. I knew, but I couldn’t.”
“……”
“Paula.”
His brown eyes looked straight at me.
“I wish you happiness.”
I looked over the hand I was holding. Ethan shook it up and down greatly. When I looked up at him again, he smiled kindly. I knew how difficult the things he would experience in the future, or rather, the things they would experience, would be. Even I, who couldn’t get involved in that story, knew it well.
Even so, he comforted me. He didn’t spare the words to forget everything and live on.
“Christopher-nim.”
“Will you call me Ethan now?”
At his mischievous smile, I tried my best to swallow my tears and smiled brightly.
“Ethan-nim.”
“Yes.”
“I wish too.”
“……”
“I hope everyone is happy.”
Ethan smiled brightly at those words too. The hands that were tightly clasped together fell apart, and I turned around. I grabbed the bag tightly with both hands. I took a breath and ran forward. This time too, I ran with all my might.
My world was not beautiful. It was a life stained with poverty, selling children for money, and losing even the minimum conscience that people should have. All that bloomed in that gap was sadness. Nothing was not terrible.
But I realized for the first time when I came here.
That life can be beautiful.
That moments with others can be enjoyable.
That there are people who wish me happiness even like this.
That it’s okay to live.
I felt that the end was really approaching now. Once I got out of here, I would no longer be able to belong to that world. I would never be able to meet them again.
I thought about the ending of the book I liked.
The ending of the protagonist who leaves everything behind and leaves alone.
“Ah. It’s over now.”
At that moment, Vincent came to mind. The man who believed that I had left well, the man who was left alone and waiting for the day we would meet again.
‘I’ll bring you to my side. Definitely.’
My vision blurred. I didn’t stop the tears from flowing. I wouldn’t be able to see him again. There would be no chance of running into each other while walking down the street. Would he look for me? Would he come to find me? I couldn’t even say goodbye. But it was okay. Because I didn’t want to say goodbye.
I wished for everyone’s happiness. But among them, I wished for his happiness the most earnestly. I wished that Vincent’s life would be filled with only happiness, that he who was left alone would not hide in his room again, that he would move forward, that he would not be in danger, that he would be able to love the world again.
And that I could see him again someday in the distant future, even from afar.
I wished so earnestly.
Darkness swallowed the small body.
Leaving the secret as a secret.
And so, the Baron family's secret maid was swallowed by the darkness and disappeared forever.
