Translator: Nox

Chapter 51

51

51. The Baron family's Secret Maid (4)

"I'm not abandoning you. I'm just putting you in a safe place for a while."

"That's abandoning me."

"I'm not abandoning you."

I shook my head. I couldn't believe it. What if he forgets about me after that? What if he feels relieved that he got rid of something annoying?

I wasn't sure. I couldn't trust his words. He was the one who wanted to kick me out from the beginning. He might be using this as an opportunity to send me away. Because that's how insignificant a servant's worth is to those in power.

If he orders me, I can't refuse. I know that, but even knowing that, I still didn't like it. I didn't want to be alone. I shook my head and tried to shake off his hand. I didn't want to hear anymore.

He grabbed my hand tightly as I tried to pull away. And he pulled my hand and hugged me. The distance that had grown apart quickly closed, and my body was drawn into his arms. He wrapped his arms around my back and hugged me tightly.

I buried my face in his chest. I could hear his heart pounding in my ear. I was trembling with anxiety. Both me and him.

"Trust me. I won't abandon you."

He whispered softly in my ear.

"I don't want to hurt anyone anymore. But it'll be difficult. So, I'm trying to keep at least you from getting caught up in it. If you're by my side, I can't protect you. So… I'm going to send you to a safe place."

"……."

"I'll bring you back to my side. I definitely will."

"……."

"I promise."

His hoarse voice trembled. He vowed as if to soothe me.

Vincent is right. If the person who stabbed Lucas saw me, it's true that I'm in danger. Living is more important than dying. He's trying to protect me. Knowing that, knowing his true feelings, I couldn't say I didn't like it anymore.

"Do you remember me telling you to stay by my side?"

"……Yes."

"You protect yourself too."

My face contorted at those words, but I tried to raise the corners of my lips. A weak smile escaped. I raised both hands and grabbed his back. And I hugged him tightly.

"You really can't forget me."

"Yeah."

"If you forget me, I'll haunt you as a ghost for the rest of your life."

"Okay."

His laughter echoed in my ear. I emphasized it once more, afraid he would take it as a joke.

"I'm serious."

"I know."

Vincent said that and turned his head. The wind blowing in from beyond the window ruffled his hair. I leaned my face against his chest again. I couldn't even blink properly, afraid that my tears would soak his chest.

We stayed like that for a long time. On the one hand, I had a premonition. That this was really goodbye.

Preparations proceeded quickly. Vincent instructed Isabella to get me to the Novelle's villa as quickly as possible.

In the meantime, I had nothing to do. All I did was attend to him as usual, or lock myself in my room. After that day, Ethan didn't come, and the mansion, without even Lucas, was as empty as death.

Maybe that's why I kept spacing out. I was holding the mop handle while cleaning the floor, staring blankly out the window, when Vincent suddenly said.

"Shall we take a walk?"

It was a sudden suggestion. Sensing my bewildered gaze, Vincent added the reason that the weather was nice. He was regaining a healthy life recently to the point where he would say such things.

"You don't want to?"

"No. Let's go."

I finished cleaning the floor and tidied up the cleaning tools. After helping him prepare to go out, I brought his cane. Recently, he had been practicing walking alone with a cane. The cane was used to feel around and find out what was there in advance. So, I handed him the cane this time too, but he put it down next to him and suddenly held out his hand.

"Why your hand?"

"You have to support me."

"Me?"

"Yes, you."

He clenched and unclenched his hand once. It felt like he was urging me to take it quickly, so I happily took his hand.

Holding his hand and leading him reminded me of the times we used to take walks. Lately, with the situation as it was, we hadn't been able to do anything, let alone take walks or even read books. Of course, we hadn't been able to enjoy tea time either.

"It's always the forest."

"It's the only place to go."

"I guess so."

He stared blankly ahead. Although he couldn't see, he seemed to enjoy the outside air, touch, and noise he felt and touched while walking.

Walking along the path that continued deep into the forest, I asked.

"What's at the end of this path?"

"There'll be a wall."

"Just a wall?"

"Just a wall."

"Just a wall, huh……."

Even if we walk like this, all we can see is a wall. My mouth felt dry at the words that came out as if muttering to myself. The end of the path that he, who can't see, bravely and painstakingly walks together is ultimately a blocked wall. It was like my future.

I felt depressed for no reason and hung my head. There were no words exchanged between him and me for a while. Then, suddenly, he pulled my hand hard.

"Shall we go there again from last time?"

"Where?"

"The place you said was so beautiful you wanted to jump in."

A place so beautiful I wanted to jump in…….

"You mean that flower field where white flowers were blooming profusely?"

Vincent nodded.

"Do you remember where it is?"

"Roughly."

"Then let's go."

He said readily, but I hesitated a little. It was because Lucas, who had led us to that flower field, came to mind. I still vividly remembered the face that was full of anticipation to show us that place. And the moment that face distorted.

A suffocating fear welled up again. When I didn't answer, he grabbed my hand tightly.

"Calm down."

"B, but."

"That guy probably took you there hoping you would be happy. So that even after he's gone, you, who will be living in this mansion, can go there anytime and soothe your heart. Live up to that feeling."

"How do you know that?"

"Because that's the kind of guy he is."

Vincent forced a smile. But it was a kind smile. His face, which had gained quite a bit of weight now, looked good.

"Let's go. I want to go."

"Yes, let's."

In the end, I was persuaded by his words. I held his hand tightly and turned around. I took slow, heavy steps. It was just going to see a flower field deep in the forest, but it was strangely scary. So, my steps became slower and slower, but he followed me without any complaints.

We went deep into the forest where there was no path for a long time. We pushed aside branches and walked on the uneven ground. Since it was a place where there was no path, I had to rely on my memory.

As we went deep into the forest, the white flower field came into view. The flower field was still fresh and beautiful as if time had stopped.

"We're here."

"I know. The smell of grass has gotten stronger."

"Don't people usually say it smells good?"

He just shrugged at my words. He showed an arrogance as if to say who would say anything if that's what I thought. I felt relieved by his familiar attitude. I smiled briefly and entered the flower field, leading him.

The petals fluttered in the wind. It was as pretty as if it were snowing. When I tilted my head back, the petals that had risen on the wind poured down like snow.

"Something fell."

"It's petals. They're falling like snow."

Vincent shook off the petals that had fallen on his shoulders and head. There was no emotion on his sullen face. What a dry person.

"You should say it's pretty at times like this."

"Is it pretty?"

"Yes. It's very pretty."

"If you say so, then it is."

I looked at him with a puzzled expression. He still had a sullen expression. He didn't look around or enjoy the sensations he felt, like when we were walking on the forest path. So… I finally realized. That he didn't really want to come here.

"You're not going to tell me you came here for me, are you?"

"You've looked so down since that day, it's been annoyingly obvious."

"Why?"

It wasn't asking why he thought so. It was asking why he was suddenly being so kind. Why are you caring about that? It's not like you.

Vincent slowly let go of our clasped hands. And he faced me. He couldn't see me, but he looked at me directly. I could see myself reflected in his emerald eyes. His eyes were unwavering, as if he could see me standing a step away.

The bangs that had been covering my forehead parted in the wind. My confused eyes were revealed. White petals fell fluttering, cutting across between him and me.

"Are you scared?"

He asked. Normally, I would have asked what he meant.

But I knew what he was asking.

"I'm scared."

"Me too."

My eyes widened. I thought he would laugh at me for being a coward, but an unexpected answer came back.

He smiled briefly as if he knew my flustered reaction.

"You get quiet when you're flustered."

"……."

As he said, I was even more flustered and lost for words.

While I was stammering, he stopped smiling and held out his hand. A white petal fell on his palm. He cupped his hand and felt the petal, then opened it again and let it fly in the wind. The petal that flew from him brushed against my skin as it hit my hand.

"I might have to announce my condition soon. It means the time is coming when I have to get used to someone swinging a knife or shooting a gun at me. Maybe that's better. Because sometimes people kill each other more cruelly with words."

"……."

"I knew I couldn't live like this forever. I'm a Baron family. I can't keep living in a room. Because there are many people I have to take responsibility for. But, it's not easy to accept. It's scary too. Even now, my hands and feet are trembling when I think about having to stand in front of people. Is it unsightly?"

"……It's not."

"It doesn't matter if it's unsightly. Because that's who I am."

It sounded calm, but the meaning contained in those words was not light at all. It was so heavy that it weighed down on my chest. I couldn't even begin to guess the responsibility he was carrying. He's actually a great man that I have to tilt my head back to look up at. As if to prove that, his body, which had gained more weight than before, looked reliable.

Unlike me, who hadn't been living properly since Lucas was attacked, Vincent was composed. Rather, he acted as if the thing he had been waiting for had happened. I knew that he had been preparing to go outside recently. Eating alone, washing, changing clothes, and standing on his own two feet and taking steps.

He was practicing living alone.

Of course, even then, I, or another maid or servant if I wasn't there, would attend to him, but sometimes he would have to step up himself. He would have to face invisible opponents and figure out their intentions. He was preparing for that time.

It's not just me who's scared. He must be scared too. Even though he's scared, he's not in a position to just back down. That's why he's working and preparing the most desperately at this moment.

"If it's too hard, it's okay to let go of one thing."

"What are you talking about?"

"You don't have to try for me."

"Who said I was trying for you?"

He tilted his head as if he had heard something he hadn't heard. He frowned slightly, but also wrinkled his face. No, why are you suddenly ruining the mood when things were going so well.